


Gods and Monsters

by SignificantlySimon



Series: Flares [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol, Anxiety, Attempted Kidnapping, Bekunasch - Freeform, Depression, Graphic Violence, Head Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Murder, Panic Attacks, Past life, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regicideshipping, Slow Burn, Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal - Freeform, fight, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-07-25 01:12:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 129,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16186979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SignificantlySimon/pseuds/SignificantlySimon
Summary: Hubris is the downfall of man but the Emperor of the Seven United Lands is certainly not human, many of his citizens had convinced themselves of this. He is a God, an ethereal being with an obsession over a foreign prince. Hidden inside him, this obsession with a man that he cannot have will most definitely be his downfall.





	1. Prologue

Spring: Year 1

 

In his sixth year of life, the people were told he would not live. 

Around Yule of his seventh year, he found hope. He was walking by the time Beltane arrived and running by Lughnasadh. Hope drove him and it is what continued to push him along his path.

In his sixteenth year of life, he became the Crown Prince, the first of these united lands.

In his eighteenth year of life on Beltane, they placed the crown on his head despite all the odds that had stacked against him.    
  
He was the first Emperor of these lands and would be the first to take long strides to keep it that way. His coronation was an elegant ceremony with all the pomp and circumstance the first Emperor of the Seven United Lands Under Poseidon should receive. After the official ceremony, there was a ball that went well into the night. Despite it being a momentous occasion, the new Emperor was more than elated to retire to his rooms after all was said and done.    
  
The marble staircase was under constant guard by highly trained members of the Royal Guard. The new Emperor knew each of them by name and chose five new members each spring shortly after Beltaine. He thanked the men stationed by the staircase as he walked past and gave them a wave. Both nodded and as soon as Nasch was inside, they returned to their former position, weapons drawn, blocking the entryway.   
  
These stairs were the work of excellent craftsmanship much like the rest of the palace. If Nasch wasn’t always so exhausted when he walked up them, he would have paid more attention to detail. However, there was something he never forgot. There was a point about three-quarters of the way up to where the stairs switched heights and became an inch or so higher. From walking up and down them so many times, Nasch knew where it was well. That didn’t mean he always paid attention to it.   
  
Nasch fell victim to the first stair that changed in height. The toe of his shoe caught on the step and he tripped. He held onto the railing for dear life as he felt his soul practically leave his body. He had completely fallen down these stairs once in his life and it was an awful experience. God forbid, he do it again.   


He exhaled quickly as soon as he realized that he was all right and most definitely not going to fall down the stairs. Not today, anyway. He released his death grip on the railing and brushed his shoulder-length hair behind his ear as he continued climbing the stairs. He was just on the verge of being out of breath when he reached the top and began walking down the hallway full of rooms built for the royalty that would reside within them.

The Emperor's rooms were situated at the end of the hallway. The large double doors led straight into his sitting room. From there, the room connected to his own bedroom on the right, and a spare bedroom on the left. The spare was meant for his future queen so she would have a space of her own. However, now was not the time to think of a future wife, or any sort of spouse for that matter. Nasch found the long cape he was forced to wear was increasing the usual pressure and pain in between his shoulder blades. He needed this God forsaken item off and as soon as possible.

As Nasch neared the end of the hallway, he took the leather cord he kept tied around his neck and tucked under his shirt. He held it loosely in his hand as he reached his doors so he could unlock them both swiftly and enter his sitting room. It took a slight bit of fidgeting with the different keys to find the correct one and once he had the doors open, he propped them both with a carved wooden doorstop. Before he had the chance to do anything else, Nasch unfastened the golden chain across his chest that kept the cape in place. He pulled it off of his shoulders and dragged it with his right hand over to the sofa where he haphazardly threw the item across the back of it.

He cursed under his breath and attempted to raise his arms and stretch some of the pain away but found his effort futile as it sent a shockwave of pain and numbness coursing through his arms and legs. He hissed and gripped onto the arm of the sofa to steady himself as he waited for the pain to subside. It felt like an eternity until the sharp pain turned slightly dull but the numbness in his legs remained. Nasch sat where he once stood finding it easier to somewhat collapse on the floor instead of hobble a few steps over and maneuver onto the sofa.

He groaned quietly and bit the knuckle of his forefinger hard. After a bit longer the numbness in his legs mostly subsided and he retrieved a button hook from the breast pocket of his vest. He began unfastening his new boots quickly and discarded them under the sofa and out of the way. He turned and leaned his back on the sofa lightly as he ran his fingers through his hair and debated on whether or not he could raise his arms enough to tie it back. Deciding not to chance it, he lowered his arms and stood slowly.

He walked over to the desk he had moved into the room the day before and retrieved a glass jar usually used in canning. From the jar, he brought out a left-handed cigarette he rolled earlier that morning. He went back into the drawer and brought out a small box of matches. With his items in hand, he then walked towards the stained glass doors of his balcony, ready to rid himself of his pain for the evening. As soon as he opened the doors, he felt the rush of the sea air flow into his room. It pushed his hair behind his shoulders as he walked into his balcony with a sigh. He struck the match on the railing in front of him and quickly lit his cigarette before the wind had the chance to take the flame.

It was a beautiful night. It was a shame Nasch couldn't thoroughly enjoy it like he thought he should. After all, he had won over everyone that opposed him. This was a great cause for a celebration. However, he felt himself longing for time alone. He wanted away from the overwhelming noise of dignitaries with their ever-pleasant facade. The band also, although wonderfully skilled, was far too loud for him tonight.

Nasch took a particularly large drag from his cigarette with the sole purpose of watching the cloud come out of his lungs and diffuse in the wind. This was what he needed tonight, the silence and the sess.

“You're not drinking tonight?”

The voice from behind him made Nasch jump and turn his head quickly. If it weren't for the sess taking hold and dulling his pain, he would have collapsed. Although familiar, the sudden intrusion made his heart stop briefly. “Fuck, Durbe. Don't do that to me.”

Nasch turned back around to face the sea, clutching his chest and begging his heart to slow down.

“Ah. I actually wanted to ask if you were all right. You left the ball so soon,” Durbe said.

“My back. The damned cape added so much weight to my shoulders,” Nasch replied.

“I feel that there's something else though,” Durbe said. He paused for a moment to think before changing the subject. “No matter. People are slowly filing out of the ballroom. Merag is on her way up too.”

Nasch scoffed unintentionally. “She had better bring her own if she plans on drinking,” he said.

“I brought a bottle up. Left it on the table by the door.” Durbe walked closer to Nasch and stood next to him. “Beautiful night out, isn't it?”

“Very. Not to cold, not too warm. Even the wind isn't harsh tonight. Beautiful weather for sailing.”

“You always drift back to that, Nasch,” Durbe sighed. “Sometimes I think that you believe you're still a sailor.”

“Kellem said something about that before he left for the season. Can't remember what it was for the life of me,” Nasch replied.

Durbe was right. Nasch always found himself drifting back to the brief time he was a sailor. His last voyage was over two years ago but he still felt as if it were yesterday. Everything led him back to the sea, as a matter of fact. He found it calming and terrifying all at the same time. The sea provided life but it also took it away. That, Nasch supposed, was the best thing about it.

“So now that you're the Emperor, what do you plan on doing differently?” Durbe asked.

“I've been acting as the Emperor for a year and a half. Nothing is going to change all that much,” Nasch replied.

There was a lull in the conversation. It plunged the pair into the silence that Nasch longed for. It was wonderful as Nasch finished his cigarette and flicked the small remainder over the balcony and into the waves below him. He exhaled the final bit of smoke in his lungs and turned around to see that Durbe had gone inside.

The Almighty High Priestess was now lounging comfortably on the sofa in the room, chatting with Durbe. She was still in her formal attire which slightly surprised the Emperor. Nasch figured it was time to head in and walked into the sitting room

He closed the balcony doors behind him and flipped the lock. He sat on the free end of the sofa and pulled his legs up next to him.

The room was sent spinning as the sess hit him full force and Nasch found himself relaxing into the sofa. Despite the chaos of the day, the end was quite peaceful. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the back of the sofa for a while. He heard people talking around him, familiar voices and no cause for alarm.

“Ain't that right, Nasch?”

Nasch jolted upright at the mention of his name and looked in the direction of the voice. “What?” He replied.

Merag began to laugh. “You really smoked yourself stupid this time. How much pain are you in?”

“Not much anymore. What were you saying about me?”

“Oh nothing. Just talking about how you passed out when you were named prince two years ago,” she replied.

“That was fucking awful. Nothing anyone could have said would have prepared me for the presentation,” Nasch said as he rested his head back on the sofa.

“I know. It's why you hit the ground so hard  after it was over. You fell so fast we thought you died,” Durbe chimed in with a chuckle. He took a drink from his glass and crossed his legs.

Nasch only scoffed at him as he drowned himself in the high he was given. God damn, he didn't know he needed this. After a few moments of using Durbe and Merag's conversation as background noise, he heard a knock at his door. Nasch stood far too quickly and was forced to sit back down because of the rush to his head. The nausea returned full force and he closed his eyes tightly. “Merag, can you get it?” He asked.

“Yeah. Sure,” she replied.

Nasch held his head in his hands and inhaled deeply. He held his breath for a few moments before exhaling slowly.

“Hey Nasch. Come here,” Merag said from the doorway.

Nasch stood, slowly this time, and gave himself a few moments to gain his balance properly before he walked to the doorway. Merag stepped aside to reveal a young man standing at the door. He was about the same height as Nasch, only he was thin. He had changed out of his more traditional attire from the day and now wore a simple white blouse and a pair of brown riding leggings. If it weren't for his ginger hair and lavender eyes, Nasch would have been clueless as to who it was.

“Remember me?” the man asked with open arms.

Nasch chuckled and found himself smiling from ear to ear. “Vector? Oh my God, I never thought I'd see you again!” Nasch said as he embraced the man quickly. He then stepped aside to let him into the room. The invitation was accepted and Vector took Nasch's place on the sofa. Nasch decided it best to sit in Merag's place, leaving her to drag the chair from the desk over.

Nasch glanced at Durbe who kept a watchful eye on Vector as the knight shifted slightly in his seat should he be needed by his liege. He didn't like the Austranian prince due to the current king's tyrant-like ways and he decided to make that apparent in everything he did in the moment. The Emperor's guard was down, he couldn't let his own fail despite the whiskey threatening to pull him from sobriety. He shot Merag a glance to let her know his thoughts. To this, she rolled her eyes and listened to Vector finish speaking.

“-father thinks I’m in the southernmost territories of Austrania making a public appearance. I’m still making an appearance, just not in Austrania,” he said.

“What are you going to do when he finds out? I feel it's inevitable that he will,” Nasch asked.

“Deal with the consequences, I suppose. There’s not much I can do,” Vector replied.

The prince looked down at the floor and something within Nasch’s mind clicked. For some odd reason, he found himself fixated on the prince. The fire from the hearth, that someone must have lit, cast an ethereal glow on him. It mixed an orange hue in with his violet eyes. It was something about the way that he looked slightly forlorn at the thought of returning home. For some reason, he wanted to reach over and hold the man next to him. He wanted to never let him go and keep him away from the evil that was the current king.

Nasch forced himself to look away as if he would have been blinded by the mere sight of him. He prayed that no one noticed his little ‘episode’ and directed his attention to the fire in the hearth.

“Where do you get that stuff from, Nasch?” he heard Merag ask.

“What? The sess?”

“Yeah,” she replied.

Nasch smirked as he responded. “Kellem gets it whenever he ends up in eastport. He stockpiles it or something.”

Durbe scoffed and crossed his legs. “Storing it for the winter like he’s about to hibernate,” he mumbled.

“I don’t know if the whiskey’s gotten to your head but winter is a long way away, Durbe,” Nasch said.

“I’m aware. It doesn't mean that he doesn't start early.”

A silence fell over the room and the four people within it, eased into it. It was comfortable and calm after the noise of the day. Nasch stole a quick glance at Vector. His eyes were still so captivating and he couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. Nasch decided to take in the rest of the man in small glances. His hair was pulled back and fastened in a small ponytail. His fringe was uneven. Some pieces of it were tied back with the rest of his hair, and the other pieces fell perfectly awkward on his brow. This man, whom Nasch hadn’t seen since he was a boy, was suddenly the focus of all of his attention.

Vector was no longer the annoying child he was almost ten years ago. He had grown into a fine young man. Nasch had to remind himself to keep his thoughts in check lest they turn into something he didn't want. He forced himself to stop looking at the prince next to him and he shifted his position, bringing his legs up beside him on the cushion.

“I have a question,” Vector said to break the silence. “That chair by the hearth. It doesn't really fit the 'regal aesthetic’ the rest of the room has.”

“It was my grandfather's,” Nasch replied.

“I fucking miss him,” Merag added. After she uttered the particular distasteful word, she looked at Vector whose expression had not changed.

“My sister and I tend to swear like sailors. Sorry bout’ that,” Nasch said.

“I don't mind. I get pretty bad when I don't have to act royal,” Vector replied with a chuckle.

At this point the high Nasch was experiencing settled down some and he slowly decended back to reality. He began to feel the pain in between his shoulders again and shifted uncomfortably in an attempt to relieve it. “Merag, throw me the pillow on your chair.”

“Sure thing,” she said before she launched the item towards him at breakneck speeds.

However, her aim was slightly off and the item came to a sudden halt on Vector's face. All eyes were on him as soon as the familiar and quite unceremonious “floof” noise of a pillow hitting someone sounded in the room. No one dared to even breathe. The item fell into Vector's lap and the Prince laughed harder than he expected. He tossed it to Nasch who tucked it behind his back tightly.

“Been a while since I've gotten a pillow to the face,” the Prince said as his laughter calmed down.

“You need to work on your fucking aim, sis,” Nasch said with a chuckle.

After he spoke he glanced at Vector who had a smile plastered on his face. Time slowed again. Nasch was given the precious moments to count each and every freckle that decorated the man's face. He looked at the way his cheeks sunk in slightly when he opened his mouth to laugh. He considered his smile and the way it suited everything about him. This man was a gift from the gods, a blessing bestowed upon the Emperor on the night of his coronation.

However, it was a gift he could not truly have. Vector belonged across the sea to a nation that opposed almost everything and everyone for its own gain. Vector wasn't like the other kings of his home land, was he?

This beautiful man before him couldn't be like his tyrant of a father. The way he laughed and smiled led Nasch to believe that the Prince had a heart. Whether he was wrong or not, time would tell. For now though, the Emperor of the Seven United Lands delighted in the sight of him, basking in the glow if his radiant smile.

Nasch forced himself to look away and back to the hearth. The fire had settled slightly but it was still burning decently. Nasch debated on throwing more wood on it but that would require moving from the sofa so he stayed put.

“But yeah, pops was one of the best men to ever live,” Merag said. “He was our mother's step-father. Married to our nan who is old as dirt and still kicking.”

Nasch chuckled at the mention of his grandmother. “That old lady is a something else,” he said.

“I know her very well,” Durbe added as he finished his glass of whiskey. He put the empty glass on the floor next to him so he wouldn't kick it over.

“Good. Everyone deserves to know her. Though, she is a lot to handle.” Nasch spoke with laughter threatening to rise in his throat.

“Yeah, she knew you liked it up the ass before you did,” Durbe said.

Another silence quickly fell. This one was awkward and tense as Nasch's glare at Durbe threatened to wring his neck should Vector be offended. Merag looked away from the group and took a rather large sip from her drink. Durbe went wide-eyed as what he said sunk in. He could blame the alcohol in his system, he was a lightweight after all.

“I'm going to fucking kill you,” Nasch told his first Knight.

“Wait why? I don't want any part of a murder,” Vector said.

Nasch sighed. “Right. I always forget Austrania is more liberal than here. There's only a handful of people that are aware of my… tastes in lovers, I guess you could call it.”

“There's nothing wrong with being different, Nasch,” Vector said. “I've had my fare share of male lovers. There's nothing wrong with it where I come from.”

“Around here it would damage my reputation and most likely cause some sort of revolt against me. People in some of the lands don't care but the ones that do, really do.”

“I never understood how people can be so heartless. It's just love,” Vector said.

The tension in the room eased and the silence became comfortable. Merag stood and fixed her dress slightly. “Well, before I'm witness to the first murder of your regime, I'm going to bed. I have the services tomorrow morning to say.”

She walked over to Nasch who stood and hugged her. “Thank you for everything, Merag. It means a lot to me,” he said.

“No problem, really. I'll always be here for you. You're my brother, after all,” she replied. She turned to Vector and waved at him. “It was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again and that you have a safe journey home.”

Vector stood and walked towards her. “Thank you for bringing me in here. It's great to see you all again after so long,” Vector stated.

With that, Merag turned and left. Nasch watched her walk down the hall and into her bedroom before turning to see Durbe who stood in front of him with a smile on his face. “I should head out too. The guard is working overtime for the next few days while activity in the palace is heavier than usual. Congratulations again, Emperor.”

Nasch stood again and embraced Durbe quickly. “Thank you, Sir Knight,” Nasch said jokingly. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

As Nasch sat back down he kept his eyes on Durbe as he walked down the hallway. Carefully watching and making sure he didn't take an extra stop on the way to his room. Durbe and Nasch had known each other for a long time. As soon as Nasch was slated to become Emperor, Durbe was hand picked and extensively trained to constantly protect his liege. They two had become close in recent years. However, Nasch had suspicions that Durbe was growing far too close to his sister for comfort. This was something Nasch had specifically told him not to do.

Once he saw Durbe enter his own bedroom he berated himself silently for being nosey and paranoid. Merag was a devoted member of the high clergy. With that came a vow of celibacy, a vow that he knew his sister would keep with her life.

Nasch and Vector sat for a while in comfortable silence until Vector spoke again. “I guess I should be leaving. It's getting late.”

“You don’t have to. You’re not keeping me awake.” Nasch said to the man, causing him to sit back down on the sofa for a little while longer.    
  
“How long has it been since I’ve last seen you?” Vector asked as he resumed his previous position.    
  
“About ten years. I don’t think I was even standing then.” Nasch said.    
  
“A lot changes in a few years, Nasch.” Vector stated. “I remember when I saw you last, my father told me it would be the last time. No one thought you’d live.”    
  
Nasch stayed silent in his drug-induced haze for a few more moments before speaking again. “Vector, are the rumors about your father true?”    
  
“What do you mean?”    
  
“That he changed practically overnight into a-,” Nasch cut himself off, not wanting to offend the man next to him.    
  
“I won’t deny that my father is a tyrant, Nasch. And yes, they are true. Something happened six years ago, shortly after I turned ten. No one knows why or how but its... He-” Vector inhaled deeply and exhaled most of his breath quickly. “Snapped.”    
  
Silence fell between them and the tension in the air grew thick. Nasch opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t seem to force words out so he stayed silent. He turned his gaze to the dying flame in the hearth. He stared at it until it was reduced to glowing embers. He then looked over at Vector, who seemed to look anywhere and everywhere except at the Emperor next to him.    
  
It was Vector who broke the silence between them. Had he any self-restraint he would have left the conversation where it lied. “My father is an awful man, Nasch. He pushes our army to near exhaustion invading and conquering lands that are most definitely not ours for resources that just get burned up as soon as we take them. When I come to power, they will leave me with nothing save for some ashes.”    
  
He paused for a moment before he quietly apologized for rambling.    
  
Nasch turned his attention back to Vector who had shifted his position on the sofa so that his feet were on the ground. He rested his head in his hands, pushing his hair back slightly. His shirt fell off of his shoulder and rested there. Nasch noticed a dark purple bruise on his collarbone and his heart sank into his stomach. It was still fresh, but it looked like it had healed due to the yellows and greens that decorated the edges.    
  
“If you ever feel unsafe, Vector, you can write me a letter. I can grant you asylum here in the Seven Lands.”    
  
Vector followed Nasch’s gaze to the bruise and pulled his shirt back up. Nasch had also just realized that Vector hadn’t raised his right arm at all. His upper arm stayed put close to the side of his torso for the entire day.    
  
“What happened to your collarbone?” Nasch asked him.    
  
“When my father wants the room cleared, he means it.” Vector laughed under his breath, “We were in his study, he yelled to leave, and I ran right into a shelf which snapped the damn thing.”    
  
Nasch sat up next to Vector. “I’m serious about my offer of asylum. You can live here as long as you need to if you feel you are in danger.”    
  
“What? Because I ran into a fucking shelf like a fool?”    
  
Both men laughed at that statement. There was something about Vector at that moment that caught Nasch’s eye.

Nasch found himself wanting to reach out and hold him again. Austrania was dangerous and he knew that Vector would be safe in the Seven Lands. This man he had seen over a decade ago and shared letters with had quickly and alarmingly overwhelmed his thoughts. Nasch was beside himself and was totally unsure of what to do with the pounding of his heart in his chest so he bit the inside of his cheek hard. It brought him back to reality for a little while longer.

Vector stood to truly leave. Nasch stood after him and walked him to the door. “I'm serious about my offer of asylum. I don't want to find out you were assassinated by some rebel over there. I have a funeral suit and I intend not to wear it until my own service,” Nasch chuckled and he opened his arms with a smile.

Vector embraced him. “I'll be fine, Nasch. You'll still get letters from time to time. After all, I don't think I've kept a friend this long and I'd hate to lose you now.”

A friend. God in heaven, everything about this man was divine. He smelt of cinnamon and holy incense. It was an odd combination but somehow, it fit him. Everything fit Vector together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle.

Nasch released him and sighed. “Promise me that I'll see you again. Hopefully not ten years from now.”

“You will. I promise. Goodnight, Nasch.”

“Goodnight. Safe travels home, Vector.

Nasch watched Vector walk halfway down the hallway before he closed the door to his sitting room tightly. He pressed his back up against the door tightly and locked it. The room started to spin rapidly and the nausea returned for the third time. He slid down onto the floor and breathed deeply until his throat and mouth were dry and scratchy. He'd have to fix that before he went to bed.

Instead of reaching for something to drink, Nasch stood slowly and walked quickly to his balcony, fearing the nausea would make him retch. Instead he found the cool air of the sea calming his nerves and the smell of the salt from the ocean calmed the spinning in his head.

It was a strange feeling, having Vector after all these years. The more he thought about the Prince, the more he became terrified by the feeling that sparked in his chest.

That was it, a spark.

This spark threatened to ignite and engulf his being in flames. This was something Nasch could not afford. Vector inherited a kingdom across the sea. He was born a Prince and would die a King. Hopefully one of courage and justice. Nasch had high hopes for the young man and in thinking about him again, Nasch felt that feeling again.

That spark.

It is easy quelled if nothing around it can catch fire, after all. It was just a spark, nothing more.

_ He was wrong. _


	2. The Emperor

**Autumn: Year 3**

  
  
Two and a half years had passed swiftly and the Emperor Nasch fell into a routine about the palace. Presently, he sat on his throne listening half-heartedly to a council member’s attempt at getting him to pass a piece of legislation. It was something about taxes and raising them for the lower classes. Nasch had tuned it out after the third time he was approached about it. The system was set up to redistribute wealth and bring those that were impoverished some semblance of money. It was unconventional, yes, but it worked so there was no need to replace or amend it.  
  
It was late afternoon by the time the man had finished speaking. Nasch thanked him politely for his numerous suggestions and cleared the throne room of most activity, save for the High Priestess, his First Knight, and the ever watchful eye of the Royal Guard.

Nasch slouched in his throne and pushed his hair back with his hand. He leaned to the right and spoke softly to his First Knight, making sure that no one would hear. “Durbe, have him drawn and quartered before sunrise tomorrow.”  
  
Nasch stood and walked away from the throne with Durbe following him close behind. “You know I won’t without good reason.” The knight said with a smile.

Nasch turned around quickly and threw his arms in the air in frustration. “Fucking good reason. He’s been at this for months! It’s driving me to insanity. By making tax rates equal across the nations, we’d end up with the same problem as before, not enough money circulating in the lower classes. I’m struggling enough removing the corruption in the upper classes in Donasus especially after quelling the riots there after a year of them happening.”  
  
“Can’t you fire him?” The High Priestess asked.  
  
“They quit or they die. Those are the only ways they get out of being on the council,” Durbe replied.

Nasch began walking out of the throne room with his sister and his best friend close behind. They paused in the grand foyer just outside of the room to speak amongst themselves for a few more moments before their workloads kicked them into action again.

“I believe I can force them to retire should the situation be bad enough. However, complaining about taxes isn’t going to justify me doing that,” Nasch said.  
  
The woman scoffed. “Thanks, dad.”

She began heading towards the sacristy to her priestly duties. Nasch never knew exactly what she did but he did know that it differed from day to day. Some she spent teaching, others she spend being a healer or a midwife. It all depended on what was needed of her that particular day.  
  
“I swear on my life you’re his favorite, Merag,” Nasch told her as she reached for the door.  
  
“What makes you say that?” Merag turned around and crossed her arms across her chest. “You’re the one that could get away with murder. He was so strict on me when we were younger.”  
  
“Only when we were slated to become royalty. You had to be pure for the priesthood. He devoted all of his attention on making sure you were-..proper. ” Nasch chuckled. “I could do whomever I pleased.”  
  
He laughed obnoxiously as she turned with a huff and went inside. Nasch continued into the hallway that ran the perimeter of the palace and turned left. It was always extremely drafty down these hallways. He pulled his dress jacket closed and buttoned it across his chest. If the hallway was cold, his study was sure to be freezing.

He continued down the hallway and turned left into the library. In the far right corner there was a tiny room hidden among the bookshelves and tables for scholars to study.  Nasch walked past them and right into his private study. He turned up the oil lamps by the door and quickly closed it. Since his nation was a conglomerate of islands, hot summers and brutal winters were a given. He would need any and all heat trapped in the small room with the chill running through the air and all

His study was small and the bookshelves lining the walls on either side made it even smaller. Despite its size compared to every other room in the palace, Nasch found it cozy. It always felt comfortable in his study and for the first few years in the palace he would occasionally sleep on the chaise lounge chair that sat against the back wall. Sometimes it was easier for him to just change the location and sleep in a smaller room rather than his bedroom which his entire childhood home could fit inside of. There were also no windows so Nasch found it easier to sleep deeper in the room as he could turn it nearly pitch black.

The Emperor took a seat at his desk and turned up the oil lamps on either corner. He then started to sift through stacks of papers to prepare himself for the council meeting later on. He dreaded he meetings with every fiber of his being. Although, he respected the men for having a drive and passion for their beliefs. He needed someone to agree with him on something now and then. One could only take being told ‘no’ so many times in a lifetime. Nasch unfortunately, had exceeded that limit.  
  
He heard the door to his study open without a knock beforehand. Assuming it was someone he trusted, he kept at his work. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw his sister enter the room and sit in the chair across from his desk.  
  
“Why don’t you ever wear your glasses?” She asked. I have trouble reading the scripture without mine, I can’t imagine you’re having an easier time drowning yourself in legislation.”  
  
“They make me look like dad.” He replied without looking at her.  
  
“That should be a good thing. Dad was a leader in the revolt that united the lands. He’s a hero. You’re our first Emperor and survived the worst of the revolt. This makes you a hero by default.”  
  
Nasch set the papers in his hands down and looked at her, annoyed. “Our dad is also a farmer from the poorest part of the Nation, Merag. He had no business getting involved in the revolts and neither did I until I got hurt.” He moved the document in front of him to the ever-growing rejection pile.  
  
She sighed. “I can never win with you. Just put your damned glasses on. You’ll ruin your eyes more if you don’t wear them.”  
  
Nasch chuckled. “Just my vision up close.” He said.  
  
“So,” She smacked the desk with an open palm and got the Emperor’s attention successfully. “Yelling about your glasses isn’t the reason why I came in here... Scratch’s tonight?”  
  
“Gladly,” Nasch replied before looking back down at the papers in front of him.  
  
He stayed silent for a few moments, squinted at the paper in his hands and cursed under his breath before opening the drawer next to him with a huff and producing his spectacles. He begrudgingly unfolded them and placed them on the bridge of his nose. Merag laughed at him.  
  
“Told you.” She said as she stood and walked out of the room. If she saw the way Nasch rolled his eyes at her comment, she surely would have marched back in the room and hit him hard on the shoulder.  
  
After a little while longer and after a decent stack of papers had collected on the corner of his desk, he decided that was more than enough material for the meeting. He retrieved a small leather bound novel and leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. He opened the book to the page he had marked with a piece of scrap paper and began reading.  
  
Reading was always a pastime he enjoyed. As of late, he grabbed at any book he could get his hands on. Most recently, he had read a book of tarot cards and dream interpretation. Although he found it interesting, his guilty pleasure always landed him far too deep in romance novels. This one he had snuck in after his last venture to the Capital City. He read the first page and immediately paid the clerk behind the counter. He tucked it safely at the bottom of his bag and almost ran back to the palace with excitement.  
  
It had been a long while since he found a novel worth reading twice in a row. Now, on his second read through of the book, he found himself even more invested in the story about the man who fell in love with his best friend’s wife. The twist in the plot at the end of the book was exciting and left him secretly begging for more. The man, after spending the night with his lover, goes home only to leave again in chains. They had framed him for robbery and knew instantly who had done so even though it was never explicitly said in the book.  
  
Nasch had made a fair amount of progress on the novel before be heard a knock at the door to his study. He ignored it and continued. The person knocked once more before turning the knob and entering. Nasch closed the book quickly without marking his page and threw it on the ground next to him. He took his feet off of the desk and replaced them on the floor. He then picked up a paper he had left in front of him with the sole purpose of making him look busy.  
  
Durbe entered the room with the council scribe, Damien behind him.  
  
“It’s about that time, Nasch. Ready to go?” He asked him.  
  
Nasch took his spectacles off and placed them in their usual home, hidden from sight in the drawer. As if hiding his glasses would fix his poor eyesight. “As ready as I’ll ever be I suppose.”  
  
He then stood, grabbed the papers and headed out of the door with Damien and Durbe on either side of him. They walked out of the library and turned right in front of the doors to the next room. Nasch paused before opening it to give him time to delay what agony was about to take place. His council should already have assembled inside and he knew every one of them would halt their chatter, greet him in unison with a bow at the waist, then silently take their seats.  
  
It was a kind gesture despite the incessant arguing that was about to happen. Nasch never saw eye to eye with his council. These meetings were the worst part of wearing the crown. He cracked his knuckles and lifted the handle to the door. He pushed it open and became surprised to find only two out of the seven members of his council in the room. They greeted him in the usual way and took their seats at opposite ends of the long table. Nasch took his at the head and spread out his various documents. Damien sat on one corner next to Nasch and Durbe sat on the other.  
  
Nasch leaned over to Durbe and whispered to him with a smirk. “So are we early or are they late?”  
  
“Well,” he replied. “You’re here and ready to start so I’d count them as late.”  
  
Damien chuckled from across the table as he set up his inkwell and quill. “I cannot wait to see their faces when they come in and see you here before them.”

“How did you not get on the council, Damien?” Nasch asked him.  
  
“Too young at the time and too liberal now. I’m only a year older than you, Nasch.”  
  
Normally calling the Emperor by any other name or title in front of him was a punishable offense. Damien though was an exception. Rumors had circulated the palace like wildfire about multiple trysts between the two a few months ago that took place over the course of a few months. Both men would openly deny this to anyone who had the audacity to approach them but Damien would gather his notes and turn away to hide his smile. ‘Just companions,’ he would say behind his back. ‘Nothing more.’  
  
“Too liberal,” Nasch scoffed and rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. “I figured as much”  
  
This earned him a kick to the calf from under the table from Durbe. “Behave,” he said.  
  
“I always keep my composure during the meeting. I have yet to lose it.” The Emperor replied  
  
“Don’t let them hear you,” Durbe warned him in a hushed tone. “They’ll try harder to break you this time.”  
  
All three of them turned towards the door in unison when they heard the handle lift. Nasch failed miserably at holding back the mischievous smirk that spread across his lips as the rest of the council filed in. Their wide-eyed expressions made every single ounce of stress that these meetings gave him worth it. At least temporarily.  
  
“Take your seats if you will, gentlemen,” Nasch said as he looked down at the documents in front of him. He pulled his first order of business out of the small stack and placed it on the table.  
  
The other five members took their seats quickly as to not warrant any ill will towards them. Nasch began the meeting as he usually did and addressed each thing that he had brought to the table. As it became relevant, the council members would bring out their own suggestions from their notes. Nasch was sure to hear something about tax reform again but it just wasn’t time for it yet, dammit.  
  
The meeting dragged on as most of them did. The council opposed and heavily debated every new policy and piece of legislation the Emperor suggested. As he had stated previously, he kept himself collected and his emotions in check.  
  
That was until a member of the council suggested something he definitely did not want to hear.  
  
Nasch was just about to adjourn the meeting when one member stood and addressed the Emperor himself. He turned to him with a stern face and Nasch held his breath. This request would be interesting.  
  
“My Lord, may I speak?” he asked.  
  
Nasch nodded. “Go on.”  
  
“It has come to our attention that you have not yet shown interest in taking a wife, my Lord. It has been over two years since you have taken the throne and you have shown no urgency in continuing your family line.”  
  
Before the councilman finished his statement, Nasch saw red. He kept his calm facade as he let the man finish speaking.  
  
“The council has taken the incentive of arranging you a woman to take as yours if you’d wish.”  
  
Nasch couldn’t help but scoff at the suggestion. “Absolutely not,” he said.  
  
The councilman was stubborn, and he would not back down easily. “It is our concern you should continue your family line. My lord, if you do not have an heir the throne could fall into the wrong hands.”  
  
He most definitely rehearsed this. The man would have stuttered otherwise.  
  
Nasch leaned forward in his seat and chuckled. He would humor the council a bit more before adjourning the meeting. “If you’re planning to arrange me a marriage, I should know who this woman is, don’t you think?”  
  
“My Lord-..” the man hesitated. He was choosing his next statement carefully as to not anger the Emperor.  
  
This pause was too long for his liking. He crossed his arms and shifted slightly in his seat. If there was one thing Nasch knew he did correct, it was intimidating others by a simple glance.  
  
Nasch shrugged his shoulders. “Go on,” he said.  
  
“The council suggested that you should take the Almighty High Priestess as your wife.”  
  
Nasch laughed out loud at this man’s statement, causing him to take a step back to avoid the potential wrath of the Emperor. “I suppose this is to ‘keep the bloodline pure’?”  
  
The man nodded. The rest of the council shifted uncomfortably in their seats. They obviously discussed this beforehand but did not anticipate the Emperor rejecting in the way he did.  
  
“To give you the benefit of the doubt, I assume you have not heard there is celibacy that comes along with the priesthood. Not to mention that where I am from, incest is far from ethical.”  
  
Nasch unfolded his arms and placed them on the arms of the chair.“Now, I know that you are my council member from Heratus, correct?” he stated.  
  
“Yes, Sir,” the man replied.  
  
“Have you taken into consideration that your people and the people of the former kingdom of Kaltos have the highest infant mortality rate out of all seven of the newly united lands? Do you think ‘keeping the bloodlines pure’ might have something to do with that?”  
  
“No, Sir.”  
  
“Pelia, where I am from, outlawed incestuous relationships decades ago. Aponia did the same fifteen years ago. We saw a trend in families that sought to keep the bloodline pure versus families that didn’t. Do you know what that was?”  
  
“No, Sir.”  
  
“Children were being born with extreme deficits to their health. Now, I’m not stating that incestuous relationships cause those deficits but you cannot deny that there is an existing trend. Since the former nations in question had outlawed it, there have been less babies born with these illnesses.”  
  
“Sir those people are the poorest of the poor you cannot trust-”  
  
Nasch put his hand up, palm facing the men. He pushed back his chair and stood. “Poor or not, they are my people and I will treat them. My final answer is no. I will not even reconsider.”  
  
The entire room turned to the Emperor with wide eyes save for Damien who kept at his work, transcribing the entire dialogue of the meeting. They were terrified of this man for a good reason. They could tell he was about to lash out and if Nasch did not have a reputation to uphold, he would have been more brutal in his words.  
  
Nasch spoke again, this time with a certain strain in his voice. “Call me cynical and liberal if you will, gentlemen, but I will not take my twin sister as my wife, or any woman at this time. Now, if my sister finds out you moved to marry her off to me, I promise you all that you will see a side of me you never expected.”  
  
He spoke without thinking and instantly regretted the words that fell from his tongue in a rage. He tried hard to keep his calm after that statement and was losing his battle quickly. He adjourned the meeting and hurriedly walked out of the room without his papers.  
  
He walked down the hallway and into the other, closer entrance to the library in a hurry. He did not want to be seen by anyone. He turned into the library and ran to his study, closing and locking the door behind him.  
  
He stood there alone in the deafening silence of his study for a few moments before walking over to his desk and leaning against it. His thoughts became overwhelming and his heart pounded far too loud and quickly in his chest for his liking. He closed his eyes, trying to find some semblance of calm to no avail. His thoughts were too loud.  
  
He grabbed the edge of the desk to find his hands trembling which only made him hold the polished wood tighter until his knuckles turned white and his hands became sore. He inhaled deeply and held his breath before exhaling quickly. Calm was a rare thing to find around the palace and Nasch never knew where to look. Even in the room's stillness, he knew the men of the council would spread the gossip like wildfire. People would make assumptions from that statement and Damien had most definitely recorded it, so they had proof. These assumptions would not be pleasant.  
  
When Nasch finally found the strength, he unlocked his door only to hear a knock resonate through the room a few moments after he sat down behind his desk.  
  
“Enter,” he said.  
  
Damien pushed the door aside and stepped into the room quietly. “I brought you the papers you left on the table,” he said.  
  
Nasch thanked him and placed the papers on the corner to sort in their proper files later on. Nasch sighed and chuckled a bit at the words he was about to say. “I don’t suppose it would be proper of me to ask you to alter your transcripts?”  
  
“I wouldn’t have to alter them if I never recorded it,” Damien replied with a smirk.  
  
There was one issue out of the way. Without the official transcripts from the council meeting, it was his word against theirs. Around here, people believed the Emperor more than his council. Nasch had lady luck on his side today.  
  
He laughed. “You are a Godsend, Damien.”  
  
“Just be careful next time.” He winked at Nasch before turning around to leave.  
  
“Wait,” he said. “I’ve meant to ask you something.”  
  
“About?” Damien asked.  
  
“Merrick,” Nasch replied.  
  
Damien smiled and looked off to the side, a blush rose to his face rapidly. “What about him?”  
  
“I assume we’re officially calling things off between us, whatever they may have been.”  
  
Damien walked towards him and clutched his papers closer to his chest. “I’m sorry Nasch. I don’t think it would have ever worked in the long-term,” he said softly.  
  
Nasch let the tension in his shoulders fall as he laughed. “I’m aware. Just know that I wish you two the best in life, wherever that may lead.” 

Nasch felt the slightest hint of jealousy from somewhere deep inside him. Not because Damien found himself a different partner, but because he found something Nasch would most likely never be able to have.  
  
Damien laughed and readjusted his transcript of the meeting in his arm. “It means a lot to me. Thank you very much, Nasch. I hope you know this means that I’m not changing the way we handle things professionally.”  
  
“I think we were able to maintain a pretty good professional relationship despite our affairs over the past year and a half. I don’t plan on treating you any different,” Nasch told him.  
“I hope you have a good night, Nasch, despite the obvious.” Even after breaking his heart, Damien found it best to be kind.  
  
“I’ll try my hardest.”  
  
As soon as the door shut, Nasch leaned his elbows on his desk. Damien found someone to love. Jealousy ran through his veins and made him question everything he had done with Damien in the past. He was a different type of lover, that was for sure. And Nasch knew that he didn’t love him but there was definitely the potential to. If they didn’t keep things slightly open as the had to Nasch would have made the man his in more ways than just physical.

Damien was an anomaly and Nasch knew he'd never find another like him but by pulling back slightly and not letting the man know his true intentions, he lost him to another. The Emperor felt like crying. This evening was simply one emotional blow after another and he longed to break himself from the pain of sobriety.

“I need a fucking drink,” he said to himself as he pressed his forehead to the desk in front of him.  
He stayed like that for a few moments until he heard the door open again. He picked his head up to see Durbe standing in the entryway. His expression was solemn and his grey hair was slightly tousled. Durbe closed the door behind himself and stepped in to the room. He ran his hands through his hair as he did when he was nervous or frustrated. At the moment Nasch couldn’t tell which one he was.  
  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you about that,” he said. “I had no idea.”  
  
“It’s all right, Damien didn’t record it, blaming it on a scribe error.”  
  
Durbe chuckled as he sat back in the chair. “God, he’s a trip.”  
  
Nasch placed all of his papers from this meeting in one folder temporarily and cleared off his desk of the day’s work.  “Are we still going to Scratch’s? I’d like to drink myself into a stupor after that meeting in particular.”  
  
“I am and apparently you are. I’m not sure about Merag though. She ended up having to be a midwife today to a former lady of Kaltos.” Durbe replied.  
  
“I could never do the work she does,” Nasch said with a chuckle as he stood. “I plan on leaving as soon as the guards change shift. If you plan on joining me later, you may do so.”  
  
“Are we making a game out of this tonight?” Durbe asked.  
  
Nasch turned around to look at Durbe over his shoulder just as he reached the door of his study. The smile that spread to his face said he would win this little game they were about to play. “Of course we are.”  
  
With that, Nasch exited the room and made his way to his own to change into casual clothes and wait for Durbe’s signal.


	3. Games

**Autumn: Year 3**

 

 

Sneaking out of the palace to waste time at a pub wasn’t something Durbe, Merag, and Nasch did often, so they tried to make the most of the time they stole. Nasch would occupy his time after his work for the day with whatever quiet activity he could think of. Sometime later he would hear Durbe bang on the wall or stomp his foot on the floor in the hallway as his signal to start the game.   
  
Whatever his signal was, it was sure to be obvious.   
  
This time, it came as a whistle from inside his room, echoing down the hallway, bouncing rapidly off of the stone walls and traveling to Nasch’s sitting room. Nasch pushed his writing aside for the time being and fastened his boots which he kept next to the doorway. He set off down the hall, towards the stairs all the while contemplating his route out of the palace   
  
This game they played involved taking the riskiest route out of the palace and arriving at a set meeting spot first, all without getting caught by the ever vigilant Royal Guard. Tonight, Nasch decided on taking the riskiest route out of the palace that had ever been thought of but no one dared attempt. He had wanted to do this for a while and weighed the advantages and obvious disadvantages heavily. He walked steadily down the stairs and through the doorway that led to the hallway around the perimeter. He entered the grand foyer and hesitated, carefully contemplating if this was truly a good decision. Even at this moment, he felt hesitation tugging at his collar, telling him not to try.   
  
He threw caution to the wind as he turned left towards the main entrance. He pushed the grand doors open and checked to see where the two royal guard members stood. They were on constant stagnant surveillance at the front gate unless there was some emergency a few feet away. They would still see anyone exiting the palace. The two guards stationed here were also stationed at the foot of the stairwell leading up to the Royal Rooms. Since it was such a high risk job, there were only two spots they were stationed to.    
  
It raised a red flag when Nasch noticed that they weren’t there. He locked the thought temporarily in his memory, to complain to someone about it later on before he slipped out of the entryway slowly and carefully. He closed the doors as quietly as he could behind him and ran like death was at his heels. He ran down the numerous marble steps, to the main walkway, and onto the bridge, separating the palace from the Capital City. He paused here in the shadows to catch his breath briefly before continuing at a brisk walk down the rest of the bridge.   
  
After he was a quarter of the way down the bridge, he realized he had an obstacle he never contemplated, the guardhouse. Normally, Nasch would have taken the servant’s path which ran under the bridge he was walking on. It was easier to evade members of the royal guard. He hadn’t thought of the damned glorified shack until this moment. He hesitated and debated on turning back to change his route. He glanced behind himself to see the guards retaking their place at the main doors. If he were to turn back now, he’d surely be seen and returned to the palace without his pride and with extra surveillance to ensure his safety  Nasch kept walking towards the guardhouse. He would have to think of a way around it on the fly.   
  
Inside the building, there were five guards on constant active watch as it was the first line of defense between any potentially harmful activity and the palace. He knew that as soon as he tried to walk past on the cobbles of the bridge below him, they would see him. However, as he looked to the rear of the guardhouse, he noticed a fatal flaw in its design. It was not incorporated into the bridge, rather just placed on top and pushed against the chest-high stone wall of the bridge itself. It was an afterthought made to look like it belonged. Nasch saw his escape route.   
  
He climbed up onto the wall and shuffled sideways, his front facing the sea. He kept his gaze focused on the faint glow of an oil lamp just inside the unanticipated window. He barely allowed himself to breathe as he advanced slowly towards it. He paused just before and thought heavily about how he should approach.   
  
He listened in to the guards inside chatting about the upcoming winter and how they knew it would be brutal. Nasch had to keep himself from snickering.   
  
It was always brutal. There was no doubt about it.   
  
There was no definite way to tell if the guards were facing the window that Nasch was next to. Leaning in to manage a quick glance risked throwing his balance off and sending him plummeting into the sea below him. Making a noise by the other window was nearly impossible as he had nothing to throw that wasn’t highly suspicious. Throwing something like his hip flask could also mean launching a full-scale investigation about an intruder missing said item. Which would cause much more trouble than needed as there was no intruder to find. Nasch decided on what was possibly one of the worst options.   
  
Shifting his stance from sideways to forward, Nasch took a deep breath and ran at full speed in front of the window praying that the guards would think it was some sort of abnormally large seagull. Just something that wasn’t the Emperor attempting to sneak out of the palace to drink himself into a stupor at a pub.   
  
As soon as he had the opportunity, he jumped off of the wall and continued running at breakneck speeds until he made it to the safety of the main street in the Capital. He slowed down to a normal walking pace and turned left down the second Street.   
  
He followed the road until it ended and led to the cliff side road that ran along this side of the Capital. He turned right and saw their meeting spot in the distance shortly after. It was an oil-lit street lamp next to a bench in a sorry state. He cursed openly when he saw his sister standing under it, leaning her shoulder on the post and facing the other way. She turned towards him with a smirk when she heard him but it quickly faded when she saw where he was walking from. The servant’s path ended somewhere slightly further down this road in the direction Merag had been facing.   
  
“Shit, Nasch!” she exclaimed. “You fucking didn’t!”   
  
“I fucking did,” he said. He laughed at her wide-eyed expression.   
  
“You walked through the damned front door!” She approached him, her laughter a mixture of shock and disbelief.   
  
Nasch reached into his messenger bag and produced a tin containing hand-rolled cigarettes and matches. He held the cigarette in his mouth and struck the match on the ground by his feet, sending a strong smell of sulfur through the air quickly. He offered her the tin to which she put her hand up and politely declined.   
  
“I don’t smoke tobacco anymore. I thought you knew,” she said.   
  
Nasch put the tin back in his pocket. “I rolled dried cherries in it this time.”   
  
“I’ll admit, it smells better than anything else you smoke but I still don’t want one.” She elbowed him in the side before sitting on the ground next to the bench, her back up against the lamppost.   
  
Nasch sat next to her, switching his cigarette into the other hand and resting his forearms on his knees. “I heard you got the opportunity to be a midwife today. How did that go?”   
  
“Fine, I suppose. The baby is small but he’ll live. Lorena had a long and rough labor though. I was more worried about her.”   
  
They fell into a comfortable silence until Durbe came jogging from the opposite direction that Nasch had arrived from. He stopped off to the side of them and bent over as he tried to catch his breath. The twins glanced at him but turned their attention back to whatever they became focused on beforehand.   
  
“Close call.” he panted out. “The fucking-... head maid came walking in as I was,” he swallowed hard to combat his dry throat, “walking out.”   
  
Nasch took a final long drag of the cigarette in his hand before dropping it on the cobbles in front of him and stomping out the remaining embers. “Tough go,” he said. “Want a cigarette?”   
  
Durbe put his hand up and stood, swallowing hard again and exhaling one final pant. He inhaled through his nose before speaking again. “So. Who made it here first?”   
  
“I did, but Nasch walked through the fucking front door and took the main bridge. I’ll give up my winning streak for that one.” She stood slowly and stretched her arms.   
  
“You what?”   
  
“Took the main entrance, completely forgetting about the guardhouse halfway down the bridge.” Nasch stood also and cracked his knuckles. “Ready?”   
  
“Absolutely,” Durbe replied.   
  
They walked down the road to their pub of choice. It was always the same one as they knew the owner long before she founded a pub and the inn above it. Missy and her husband were a former Lord and Lady of Heratus. Their positions became obsolete once the framework for a new regime completed. They focused the rest of their lives on something useful for those who were about to come into power. Missy opened an inn specifically for those with status so that when they became tired of royal life, they could sneak away and live a few days as a normal citizen secretly. The pub, however, allowed everyone.   
  
Missy and her husband thoroughly preferred this life over their old, borring one and made it known to those she served, Nasch included. The trio walked into the pub and sat down at the bar. Missy immediately greeted them herself with three pints, one for each of them.   
  
“You’ll never guess who I got upstairs, Nasch,” she said, excitement clear in her voice.   
  
“I’ll bite. Who?” He replied.   
  
“Guess.”   
  
“I don’t know. Did Belren come by for once?”   
  
“You’re a little further off. Think outside of the Seven Lands.” She leaned her elbows on the bar and rested her head in her hands.   
  
“Outside?” Nasch thought about his next reply carefully. “Oh, I forget his name-... the man that was here a few weeks ago from Jenira?”   
  
“More Eastern.”   
  
“From Austrania?”   
  
“Perfect. Now give me your best guess.”   
  
“Shit. I have no clue. I’d say Vector, but he’s not returning till spring.”   
  
“There you go.” She clapped sarcastically at him. “That took longer than expected. I thought Vector would be your first guess. If I recall correctly, the two of you kept in contact for a long time.”   
  
“There’s no way he’s upstairs. He’ll get trapped in here for the winter if he needs to go home.” The shock in Nasch’s voice must have been clear to Missy as she patted him on the shoulder roughly.   
  
“He mentioned something about needing to leave earlier than expected,” she told him.   
  
“Is it wrong of me to not believe you?” Nasch took his pint in his hand and raised it to his lips.   
  
“You’ll see,” she said before she walked off to clean empty glasses. “He’s here.”   
  
Nasch chuckled and turned around on the stool so he could rest his elbows on the bar and look out at the room. Pub songs drifted through the air from the people inside. The hearth was lit and burning furiously from across the room, combating the constant chill from outside successfully. Nasch placed his glass down and unbuttoned his coat, leaving it to hang open.   
  
Merag saw a challenge from across the room and rose from her seat to go drink a man under the table, a challenge she almost always won. Nasch and Durbe knew she would walk away triumphantly while the other man struggled to stand. It was always amusing to watch the aftermath and Nasch and Durbe did so often, laughing to themselves as Merag walked back over to them practically unscathed. She pulled her hair back over her shoulders and braided it loosely as she walked over.   
  
For some odd reason as Nasch placed his empty glass down on the bar he glanced over to the stairs at his right. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of ginger hair as he looked away. He turned his head back to the stairs quickly to see Vector walking down them, his hand lightly on the wooden railing to his left. He wore casual clothing, a pair of grey trousers with an off-white knitted sweater. His hair was down and it was something Nasch was not expecting. He felt his breath catch in his throat and he looked back at Merag across the pub who  downed a pint without trouble and looked at the man next to her, disappointed.   
  
Nasch was hit with something unexpected. It felt as if his heart both stopped beating and sped up at the same time. He used every bit of restraint to not clutch his chest. He felt like running but he wasn’t sure where to. Away from the pub, maybe. He turned back to Vector and found that they locked eyes. This was also something he was not expecting tonight. 

Vector smiled and headed towards him without hesitation. Nasch realized he was holding his breath just before Vector came within earshot. He let out his breath slowly and prayed that Durbe didn't glance over and see how odd he must have looked. Vector put his hand up politely with a smile, refusing the pint Missy offered to him.   
  
“You said you weren’t arriving until the spring,” Nasch said.   
  
“Well, I- uh…” He cleared his throat before continuing. “Had to leave early. I arrive earlier this afternoon on the last trading vessel from Jenira.”   
  
Nasch’s heart continued doing whatever it pleased as he continued attempting to carry on a casual conversation with the foreign Prince. “How did you know about this place? I don’t remember ever mentioning it.”   
  
“Right before I left, I remembered you said something about it in one of your letters. I had to go digging through them to find it.”   
  
Nasch chuckled. “That must have been years ago.”   
  
“Three to be exact,” Vector smirked at him.   
  
“Did you keep all of them?”   
  
“What? The letters?” A faint shade of pink rose to Vector’s cheeks at the mention. He looked somewhere across the room. “Every single one.”   
  
Nasch had also kept every letter he received from the man. Ten years worth of bi-weekly letters had piled themselves up. Some were casual, others were discussing policy or a brief mention of a possible trade agreement between Austrania and the Seven Lands. Whatever they were about, Nasch kept them all in a wooden box under his bed. He would never admit it if asked.   
  
Vector turned back towards Nasch with a slight chuckle and a smile. “They remind me that no matter where I am, I have a friend across the seas.” Vector continued.   
  
I have a friend across the seas.   
  
Nasch’s mind chose that phrase to imprint. He compared it to the one two years prior when they were sitting on the sofa in his sitting room the night that the crown had been placed on his head. He found the common thread, his smile. When Vector smiled, his entire face lit up. His violet eyes squinted slightly with the action and his freckles-   
  
Oh God, his freckles.   
  
The sound of a pint glass being shattered against the wall to his right interrupted Nasch’s train of thought. He snapped his neck over quickly to see the man responsible. his face was red with anger as he yelled at the person in front of him. Sailors during the off season were someone the worst people to come in contact with at a pub. They were drunken, horny, and easily angered. Out of curiosity, Nasch attempted to listen to the man who shattered the glass  and was amused to find out their argument was, on fact, over a woman.

  
He glanced over at Vector who was slightly terrified at this exchange and smirked. Vector was born in a palace high on top of a mountain and rarely ventured out of it. He took Vector's obvious worry as his sign to leave soon after arriving. Nasch stood and rubbed the palms of his hands on his thighs subconsciously. He placed a few pieces on the counter for Missy and quickly finished his pint.   
  
“Well,” he began, “that’s enough for one night. Vector, are you coming back with me?”   
  
Vector didn’t take his gaze off of the man in the corner. “If that's alright with you. Just let me get my bag.” He spoke softly and took off towards the stairs, never taking his eyes off of the fight was about to take place in the corner.   
  
Nasch couldn’t help laugh inwardly at him. Vector had mentioned sneaking away from the Austranian palace when he was younger however, as time went on his father's disdain grew. Obviously, he would have become trapped in the palace  and hidden away from most people. Nasch knew this because of the numerous letters the two exchanged. Vector had most likely never been in a pub before let alone one that sailors from the docks frequented.   
  
Before long, Vector came hurrying down the stairs while buttoning his wool coat. Nasch took note he only had the same canvas bag he did two years prior. He assumed he must have been in a hurry to leave without very much. He walked past Nasch, right to the door and left with no further hesitation. Nasch followed close behind and was hit by the chill that ran directly through him and settled in his bones. He buttoned his own coat as the wind caught up to him.   
  
The telltale chill was surely in the air and soon enough, the first frost would slow everything down for the winter. Although Nasch was excited for the incessant humidity of the warmer months to disappear, he was never ready for the change of seasons. With winter came illness and despite having built up resistance to many of the common ones, he knew there would inevitably be a week where he could barely get out of his bed. Illness and Nasch went hand in hand. They always have and always will.   
  
“So, I’ve had a question for you, Nasch,” Vector spoke, interrupting Nasch’s train of thought. “Well, several actually.”   
  
There was most likely a multitude of questions that Vector had for the man and Nasch most definitely did not have all the answers. He was not prepared for Vector’s sudden arrival and neither was he.   
  
“That is?” He replied.   
  
“Where am I staying?”   
  
“For now, in the palace, until I find somewhere else. It's safe there so you won't have to worry about someone giving away your location. I didn’t have enough time to find other arrangements for you since you arrived early and without warning.” He ended with a slight chuckle as to not make his comment seem so harsh.   
  
Vector stayed silent for a few more moments before asking another question. “Just how bad are the winters here?”   
  
Nasch chuckled. “They’re awful. Everything freezes over. The docks and most of our trading vessels can’t get in or leave port because of the ice. All activity in and out of the palace slows to where it is nonexistent.”   
  
“You had better find other arrangements for me soon, then. Before the snow hits.”   
  
“The snow isn’t the problem. That’s easier to deal with than the ice.”   
  
Nasch dreaded winter but maybe if Vector was around, it wouldn’t be so unbearable. The thought came to him and he couldn’t stifle the smile that rose to his face. He turned his head away from Vector so he wouldn’t see him smiling like a child. When he regained composure, he turned his gaze forward once more.   
  
As they approached the palace, Nasch realized he hadn’t told Vector about the little game he played with sister and First Knight. He halted. “I forgot to mention that we have to sneak back in.”   
  
Vector paused and adjusted the strap of the bag over his shoulder. He turned towards Nasch confused about what he had just said. “What?”   
  
“No one knows Merag and Durbe are out here, let alone me.”   
  
Vector smirked at him and adjusted that one piece of hair that never seemed to like its proper place. “So you’re telling me you, your sister, and your first knight snuck out of the palace, putting yourselves in danger, to waste the evening at a pub with God knows who?”   
  
“Exactly,” Nasch replied. “We’re taking the servant’s path back into the palace. Follow me.”   
  
Nasch would have to lead Vector in the palace the easiest way he knew how. They would follow the servant’s path around to the back of the palace and go in through the stables. There, there was a window right above the low roof they could climb in. It would be simple, provided the guards were performing their duties correctly and pacing around the entryway. If they were stationary, it was a lot harder to get back in.   
  
They successfully exited the servant’s path and ducked for temporary cover behind a bush.   
  
“Give me your bag,” Nasch whispered.   
  
Vector did so without hesitation and waited for Nasch’s instructions silently.   
  
Nasch leaned in close and kept his voice low. “As soon as they cross paths and turn around, run as fast and as quietly as you can for the stable.”   
  
“Why did you need my bag?”   
  
“I don’t trust you to not make a noise when running with it. Is there anything breakable in here?”   
  
“Not that I’m aware of. Just don’t throw it.”   
  
Nasch pulled the strap up over his shoulder and across his chest. He hugged the bag and its contents close to him tightly. As soon as he saw the guards turn around, he ran for the entrance to the stables with Vector close behind.   
  
He came to a sudden halt, just within the open doorway and pressed his back against the wall next to it. Vector followed suit. He looked over at the Emperor next to him and held back a laugh which would surely give them away. Nasch looked over at him and smiled. This was an interesting end to his night.   
  
He turned his head away from Vector and pointed to a bale of hay strategically placed in the corner. Nasch glanced out of the doorway to find the guards had walked away again and he walked over to the bale of hay and climbed on top. He hoisted himself through the open window of the stable and up onto the roof. He then entered the window into the hallway of the palace and waited for Vector.   
  
Vector pulled himself up into the window and hooked his arms over the ledge with a huff. Nasch laughed quietly as he offered his hand to Vector and pulled him the rest of the way into the Palace, laughing the entire time. Vector steadied himself and reached for his bag which Nasch gave back to him. He pulled it back over his shoulder and followed Nasch up to the spiral staircase and into the room he had stayed in two years ago.   
  
“I hope you’re all right with staying in here until I can find living arrangements on short notice,” Nasch said.   
  
“This is more than I expected when I arrived here.” Vector laughed and placed his bag down on the floor.   
  
“I thought so,” Nasch replied with a smile. stayed in the doorway as he let Vector look around. “There’s flint and steel by the fireplace if you would like to light the hearth.”

There was something about the way Vector looked around the room in slight wonder. Maybe it was the excitement in his eyes or as he looked around as if he had never seen such a large bedroom made in the luxurious style that they preferred in the Seven United Lands. Nasch had to try hard to keep himself from smiling while watching him. Vector turned around with a smile after placing his bag on the bed. Nasch assumed at this moment he would never be over the way Vector's face lit up when he smiled. He would never forget the glint in his eyes as he chuckled.  
  
“Thank you Nasch,” Vector started. “I don’t know how to thank you properly for all of this.”   
  
He walked towards the man and embraced him, letting go far too soon for his liking.   
  
The Emperor bid the Prince good night and left him alone for the evening. He entered his sitting room and walked right into his bedroom to the right, closing and locking the doors behind him. He stripped out of his casual garments, discarding them on the floor next to him. He then climbed into bed, making himself comfortable. Laying on his side, he hugged an extra pillow close to his chest and allowed himself to relax into the plush mattress. Just before he was about to drop off into sleep he heard Vector’s voice inside his head.   
  
‘I have a friend across the seas.’   
  
Nasch snapped his eyes open subconsciously and he shifted his position so that he was laying on his back. He was wide awake all too suddenly with an impending sense of dread. He remembered Vector’s smile from two years ago like it had just happened and thought of today when he saw the man coming down the stairs at Scratch’s. He thought of Vector and his heart sank.   
  
The Emperor fell asleep that night, forcing all intruding thoughts of the man from his mind. He could not let a sudden and unwelcome infatuation get in his way. At all costs, he would not fall for the man from across the seas. Vector had a life of his own planned since birth. Nasch would be selfish to try to impede the life he was destined to live.


	4. Harvest

**Autumn: Year 3**

  
  
Nearly a month had gone by since the Crown Prince of Austrania came to the Seven United Lands seeking asylum. He liked to think he adjusted exceedingly well to most things but the terrible cough he had caught a week in had yet to leave him. He sat in the Emperor’s sitting room wrapped in a shawl from his mother. Next to him, sat the Almighty High Priestess who shoved a mug of hot tea into his hands and told him to drink.   
  
“It’ll soothe your throat,” she said.   
  
Vector did so without protest, taking a larger sip than expected and burning the roof of his mouth and tongue. He scrunched his nose as he swallowed. It did in fact, soothe his throat. It was just the most bitter and unappetizing thing he had ever tasted. Merag noticed the face he made and laughed at his expression.   
  
“It’s the worst thing but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work.”   
  
Vector pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and placed the mug on the bricks next to him to cool slightly before attempting to drink it again. Merag reclaimed her spot next to him, laying a ladle in front of her on the tiles. Vector leaned on his arm and turned to look at her.   
  
“So what were you saying about the man at the services this morning?” He asked her.   
  
If there was one thing Vector learned about the twins, it was that they had the most interesting stories about the people they interacted with. Especially Merag as she saw day-to-day life in the Capital City more often than Nasch who spent his days stuck inside the palace. Save for a few public appearances on certain holidays, he didn’t have much interaction with the people he ruled.   
  
“Right,” She said. “This man came in with his child. The kid was barely three years old. He sits somewhere in the chapel's middle. Now, I had just gotten there and everything so I was unpacking my bag and as soon as I lay my scripture down in front of me the kid runs up and hugs my leg. He asks me all sorts of questions about this and that-”   
  
Vector chuckled. “Ew. Children.”   
  
“I don’t mind that, I encourage children to ask questions. Anyway, this kid is sweet and adorable and I tell him to go take his seat so I can start the service. Everything goes fine and all but as soon as I end the service the father comes up with his son and pushes him towards me. He tells this kid to apologize for interrupting.”   
  
“Apologize for being a child and being curious as a child is?”   
  
“Exactly. So I tell the kid he doesn’t have to apologize and that it's okay to ask questions but the dad goes ballistic. He screams at me and the kid. It was so bad I got scared and the Royal Guards that went with me had to escort him out.”   
  
“Poor kid,” Vector said under his breath. While he didn’t particularly enjoy children, he did have some strong opinions on how one should act around them. From what Merag was telling him, this was not the way he    
  
“I know. I’m terrified that I scarred him for life by doing that. But the thing is, the dad didn’t come up and get his son when he first ran up so I have no clue what prompted the apology.”   
  
“People are odd,” Vector replied.   
  
As if on cue, the Emperor of the Seven United Lands himself came walking into the sitting room. He paid no heed to the people already gathered there and instead went right into his bedroom, locking the door behind him.   
  
Merag rolled her eyes. “Speaking of odd people,” she said. “Nasch, are you eating supper with us?”   
  
The Emperor’s reply was inaudible and muffled through the closed door. Merag snickered as she picked up the ladle in front of her and stirred the pot of soup she had set over the fire. Nasch eventually emerged from his room in more comfortable clothing, riding leggings and a loose white tunic. He wrapped a heavy wool blanket around his shoulders and sat on the sofa. He hugged his knees to his chest, successfully cocooning himself in the blanket.   
  
Merag glanced back at him. “Don’t tell me you’re getting sick.”   
  
“I wish I could say that I’m not but I’ve had chills all damned day,” Nasch replied.   
  
“Your work is ready for me to pick up when I banish you to your bedroom, right?”   
  
“As always. I hope I still have a couple of days before that happens though.”   
  
Nasch jumped at the sound of a book being closed violently behind him and nearly snapped his neck around to see his First Knight emerging from the corner of the room, book in hand.   
  
He clutched his chest as he turned back around to face the hearth. “Fuck Durbe. I think my heart stopped,” he said.   
  
Durbe laid down on the other end of the sofa and stretched his legs, pushing Nasch into the arm of the chair. Nasch reached his arm out of the bundle he had wrapped himself in and punched Durbe hard on the calf with a closed fist. Durbe’s leg twitched slightly, but it didn’t stop him from moving down more and pushing Nasch harder into the arm of the sofa. Nasch fought back. Shifting downwards and placing a foot in between Durbe’s legs, he quickly pressed hard. This caused Durbe to roll off of the sofa and onto the floor, clutching himself and rolling temporarily in a ball.   
  
“Two can play at that game,” Nasch said triumphantly.   
  
“No fucking fair, Nasch. Kicking me in the balls is off limits.”   
  
“I didn’t kick you, I simply applied pressure.” Nasch pressed his lips together and stuck his nose in the air. He couldn’t hold back the smirk that rose to his lips.   
  
Durbe stood in front of Nasch and smiled mischievously at him. “Apply pressure to this, you bastard.”   
  
Using all of his weight, Durbe fell onto Nasch. When Nasch used his legs to try to push him off, Durbe would roll back on, pushing on him constantly. Nasch sat up and put his hands to good use, punching him in the back every time he came close.   
  
“Boys, please. At least Vector is civilized,” Merag said, covering the pot once again.   
  
Durbe didn’t halt his torture on the Emperor as he replied to her with a scoff. “Civilized, my ass. I give him another month before he joins in on this bullshit.”   
  
Vector laughed at them only to earn a glare from Merag which instantly quieted him. He picked up his god awful elixir of “tea” and took another sip before he put it down again, nudging it a few inches away from him. He turned back around to look at Nasch and Durbe who were still annoying each other on the sofa. Durbe was relentless until Nasch grabbed at a fistful of hair on the top of his head and threw him to the side, hard. Durbe stumbled to regain his balance before he flopped back down on the sofa. He rubbed the back of his head as if that would soothe the irritation he felt after having a fistfull of hair almost yanked from his head.   
  
“You win this time but next time, I’ll best you.”   
  
Vector found the perfect opportunity to make a joke about Durbe besting Nasch in bed but kept it quiet. Although he had heard the trio make worse jokes, he decided that he wasn’t comfortable with the punch he would get from Merag if he opened his mouth. If she wasn’t there though, he wouldn’t have hesitated to crack a joke at the Emperor and his First Knight. He instead asked a simple question he had wondered about the answer for the month he had taken up a semi-permanent residence in the palace.   
  
“So why is it you cook your own meals?” he asked.   
  
Merag chuckled. “There are a few reasons. The main one being that Nasch is worried his hours downstairs atr too odd for the cooks. He doesn’t want to keep them up and such. A simpler answer would be that we like to cook because we always have. Keeps things slightly normal around here.”   
  
Durbe sat properly on the sofa. He slipped out of his house shoes that he wore around the Royal Rooms and pulled his feet up onto the sofa next to him. “There’s also the fact that Nasch can’t eat red meat.”   
  
“I can,” Nasch added. “My body just doesn’t like it.”   
  
This was another, perfect opportunity for a joke. He looked over at Merag who leaned back in to stir the pot of food. “I mean, your body just shouldn’t like a lot of things, Nasch,” he said sarcastically.

  
“Was that a gay joke?” Nasch asked, wide-eyed with shock.

Vector turned and winked at him. He then broke out in laughter. 

  
Merag sat back roughly and threw her hands in the air in frustration. “Fuck, guys. You’re corrupting him!”   
  
“Who’s saying he wasn’t already corrupted? He’s just getting comfortable around this mess,” Durbe added.

That was true. It had been a few months and Vector now felt like he had a proper profile of each of the people he saw regularly. He knew the names of some of the guards, maids, and even a pageboy or two. He knew the names of most of the important people he saw even if he’d only seen them once or twice. He was good with remembering names and faces.

Nasch leaned back into the sofa and fell into a memory. They seemed to resurface after a particularly stressful day to provide a sort of odd comfort. They were always needed though, he didn’t mind. He closed his eyes and leaned back. He could practically feel the sea breeze on his face and in his hair. He felt the rocking of the ship and heard the creaking of the boards under his feet.   


Nasch was brought out of his thoughts abruptly and far too soon when Merag handed him a cup of the soup that had just finished heating up.   
  
“You might be sick but at least drink the broth, it’ll keep you warm,” she said   
  
He replied with a quick ‘thank you’ and held the mug close to him. It was then he realized just how cold he really was and despite the blanket wrapped around him, he shivered. He scoffed at himself and his predisposition to illness. This would be the death of him one day. He was sure of it.   
  
Those in the room ate supper quickly and when dishes were clean, Merag and Durbe excused themselves to go celebrate their last harvest festival, Samhain. This left Nasch and Vector sitting alone in the quiet of the room, the silence only broken by the crackling of the remains of the fire.

Soon after the chill dissipated from Nasch’s bones, he shifted the blanket from his shoulders to simply cover his legs. He buried himself in a novel, reading it now for the third time. He needed to find a new one but knew there wasn’t another that could draw him in as this one did. So he kept reading it, over and over, to fill the romance novel sized hole in his heart.    
  
Vector shifted in his position on the sofa from the place where Durbe was and dropped his notebook onto the floor. The spine of the leather-bound book hit the wood first, and it opened to a random page. Nasch glanced at the book out of curiosity and was amazed by the quick glimpse of what decorated the page. It was a quick and messy sketch but still an astounding one.

Vector had drawn the hearth in front of him complete with Merag leaning over the pot of soup, ladle in hand. Vector slowly reached down and flicked the page closed.   
  
“You can draw?” Nasch asked.   
  
“That one’s not my best work. I have other ones in here that I took my time for. Those turned out much better,” Vector said. “Did you want to see them?”   
  
“Sure,” he replied.

Nasch rolled his legs off of the sofa and moved closer to Vector but left his novel open in his lap, pages pressed lightly to his thighs. Vector picked up the book again and opened it to the sketch he was just working on. He flipped quickly to a page towards the beginning of the book and before Nasch could get a glimpse of what was on them, Vector marked the page with his thumb and flicked the book closed.

“Have you ever been to Austrania?” He asked.   
  
“I’ve been in port in Austrania but that was years ago and a different life of mine.”   


Vector looked at him for a moment in confusion and then remembered. “Ah… Well, I’ve noticed some things while I’ve been here.”   
  
“Okay?”   
  
“You put more emphasis on your spring solstice. Beltaine I think you called it. It’s about being excited for the fertility that the land will bring in the upcoming months and all that.”

“Beltaine isn’t our Spring Solstice,” Nasch corrected. “That’s Ostara. But normally it’s still too cold out to celebrate then. Some places do their massive celebration on Ostara but around here, we can’t. It’s still too icy. At least I think that’s why we do that. Could be something entirely different.”

“Regardless,” Vector continued. “We sort of do things on opposite ends of the year. You have your emphasis on spring, ours is on autumn.”

Nasch unintentionally made a face at that statement because it seemed odd to him. Vector noticed. He chuckled and nudged Nasch in the arm before he continued.

“We celebrate the harvest and thank the gods for giving us what they have. We also burn our old candles from the previous year completely. They’re in every window and on every street corner. They sort of ‘light the way for the darker months’. I mean, that’s what my mom told me for years anyway. I’m not too sure why we do that,” Vector chuckled somewhat nervously.

Nasch found himself smiling at Vector as he explained his holiday. There was something endearing in the way he rambled on about the things he was passionate about. It made his heart feel light in his chest as it fluttered. Although he loved to hear Vector ramble about this, he accidentally found himself drowning out of the very one-sided conversation. This was an unanticipated side effect of this as Nasch lost track of what he was saying.

“-dancing and music. It's the best time of the year to be in Austrania.”

Vector then opened the book to a painting of what Nasch assumed to be the view of the festivities from somewhere high in the palace. He was at a loss for words as he gawked at the magnificent painting.

“The Harvest festival last year was terrible for me.” He said as he looked at the pages. “I got stuck inside the palace and couldn’t find a good time to sneak out. There was just so much I had to deal with that I couldn’t find the time to leave.”

As someone who constantly made time to sneak out of the palace, Nasch felt bad for him. It was obvious that this celebration meant a lot for him and being stuck inside due to whatever he got into must have been hard for him to handle. This could have also been a large factor in Vector wanting to leave for the Seven Lands. Nasch could tell there was something else behind just why he couldn’t leave for the evening but he didn’t dare ask. It wasn’t his place. Vector would open up to him when and if he was ready. 

Vector sighed, “I stole myself some time, went up to the highest window in the palace I could find, and painted this.”   
  
Vector handed him the book and Nasch took in the image fully. It was the main square of Austrania’s capital, lit by thousands of little specks of light. In the center of the street, there were people dancing.

The detail work on this painting was incredible. Vector had a massive talent for this and Nasch found himself slightly envious of it.   
  
“How did you learn to do this?” Nasch asked him.   
  
“Practice I guess. Whenever I get downtime, I sketch whatever is in front of me and maybe clean it up later if I find the time. I also found out that if you combine water with standard paints, it dilutes them and provides a color that isn’t as strong. That’s how I got the color on this one.”   
  
“That’s amazing.”   
  
“It’s just something I’ve always been doing. I guarantee there are things you can do that will make me jealous,” Vector added with a wink which Nasch noticed but ignored.    
  
“I wouldn’t know. I rarely have time for anything like art.”   
  
“Whenever you manage time, you constantly bury yourself in some book.”   
  
“My sister tells me that it’s some sort of escape,” Nasch laughed.

  
“If you tried, you could probably write really well. I’ve noticed that people who read a lot can write too.”   
  
Nasch chuckled. “The only writing I can find time for is my own speeches.”   
  
“I could never write a speech of my own and unlike you, they raised me as royalty.” Vector settled comfortably back in the sofa and laughed. “By the way, did you find candles for me?”   
  
“They’re in my study. Color didn’t matter, did it?”   
  
“Just so long as they aren’t black or red.”   
  
“Make that 24,” Nasch replied with a smirk. He took the blanket off and draped it over the couch. He then stood and extended his hand to Vector. “If I will celebrate your holiday with you, we might as well get started.”   
  
Vector grabbed the hand that was offered to him and used it to pull himself up and off of the sofa. The cushions had an awful tendency to suck people in and make it hard to get out of. Nasch let go of his hand and walked towards the door, taking his overcoat with him on the way out. Vector walked by his side, chatting happily about this and that. Nasch wasn’t paying attention to the words leaving the other man’s mouth.

“So why no black or red?” Nasch asked.

“Black ones are burnt at funerals. Red ones are burnt during a different ceremony entirely.”

“That is?”

Vector hesitated and searched frantically for the correct words to say. “This isn’t going to sound right.”

“Then just say it.”

Vector took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “The last dinner for one of the Holy Innocents.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Vector stopped walking and in turn, Nasch did too. “My people are a lot different than yours, Nasch. I know you know that but I don’t think you realize how different we are. The Innocents are children chosen from birth to be returned to the gods.”

“Wait. You kill-”

“I know it sounds barbaric but its not what you think. They’re sedated heavily when they’re sent up a mountain with a priest. He stays with them until the die so they’re not alone. It may seem heartless but it’s what we believe.”

Nasch couldn’t find any sort of words to string together to make sense. This definitely painted Vector in a different light completely. He stayed silent and let Vector continue.

“It’s what we believe but I’m not sure it’s right, drugging children and sending them up a mountain to thank the gods and all that. They’re children. Some as young as two years old. Their last dinner is massive and with the current king so naturally, I have to attend. They’re too young to understand the brevity of the situation. They’re always morbidly excited. It breaks my heart.”

This was the first time Nasch had seen him show any sign of weakness. If this were a different circumstance, Nasch wouldn’t have hesitated to hold him. But things were different. This was something not to be taken lightly. Despite the weakness Vector showed, Nasch was still curious.

“You said as the King you’d head the religion one day,” Nasch began.

“Yes,” Vector said.

“Have you ever escorted any of them?”

“Two,” Vector replied. “A seven-year-old boy and a three-year-old girl. I watched them die Nasch.”

Nasch decided to drop the subject entirely when he heard Vector’s voice crack. He turned and began to walk. Vector didn’t follow.

He turned around to look at him standing there in shock. “Look, while I don’t support this, it’s your religion. Though I might not understand it, it’s your own. Just as long as you don’t insist on practicing it here.”

That came out wrong. Vector took a step back and was unsure of what exactly to do with himself.

Nasch scoffed at himself. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re free to practice as you please. I just don’t support that particular tradition. It seems awful.”

“It is.”

“Are we getting the candles or not?” Nasch asked him with an outstretched hand and a smirk to ease the tension. 

Vector smiled at him and things returned to some semblance of normal. Nasch pushed that conversation from his mind entirely, never to be brought up again. Nasch allowed his mind to focus on other things aside from the fact that his object of affection had been a part of human sacrifices and all that. Instead, he focused on how Vector walked quicker than him as if he was excited to retrieve the candles and show Nasch what this celebration was truly about.

Nasch couldn’t help but let his mind wander at every glimpse he stole of the man next to him. This was a habit that he let slide. It made things interesting, after all. Certain fantasies invaded his mind depending on the circumstance. Nasch’s personal favorites were the ones where he was looking at him in the afterglow of intimacy, hair tousled and face reddened with slight embarrassment. Vector would lie on his side, with his head resting on Nasch’s chest. Vector would then lean up and kiss him sweetly before he drifted off to sleep.   
  
“Nasch. The key?” Vector brought him out of his fantasy abruptly when he held out his hand for the key.   
  
“Right,” he replied. He retrieved the leather cord tied around his neck and handed it over to Vector as they walked into the library and over to the door of Nasch’s study which Vector unlocked.

Nasch had laid with many men so it wasn’t too difficult to imagine what it would be like with Vector. Nasch secretly hoped that as he turned around, Vector would stand close and press his back against the wall, something he thoroughly enjoyed. He would kiss him hard, biting his bottom lip but Nasch would hold back slightly, giving Vector control of him and his actions. He would let his hands wander along Vector’s sides before he dipped his fingertips down into the waistband of his trousers. Vector would struggle with unfastening his belt because of shaky hands but would get it open rather quickly. It would hang awkwardly and loosely which would give Nasch just enough space to-   
  
“Where’s the crate?” Vector asked.   
  
“Behind the desk, under the chair,” he replied.   
  
Vector made hummed when he found the crate of candles. He bent over to pick it up and Nasch forced himself to look away. Everything about his body was perfect. The slight curve of his hips, his prominent cheekbones. Just everything. Nasch began to wonder if all of this imagining was simply because it had been a while since he found himself in his bed with a lover. Maybe he needed something to ease his tension. 

“You have the key, right?” Nasch asked.

“I do,” Vector replied. He held the crate against his hip with his right arm and dangled the key in his left hand. He tossed it over and Nasch successfully caught it. He turned toward the door to avoid an awkward interaction.    
  
He quickly exited the room and contemplated backing out of agreeing to celebrate the last harvest with Vector on the account he was “ill”. However, he already walked this way to get the candles with him and he didn’t look particularly sick. He decided that he would have to keep his fantasies at bay for a few more hours until Vector’s crash course on the holiday was complete.   
  
Vector exited the room behind him and closed the door with a light kick. Nasch turned around and locked it before walking side-by-side back towards the royal rooms with Vector.   
  
“How much wind is there tonight?” Vector asked.   
  
“Not very much on my balcony to my understanding. I have no idea about yours.”   
  
“Hopefully, the other side of the palace is blocking it. At least for a little while.”   
  
They reached Vector’s room and he placed the crate down on the middle of the floor. He separated two candles, one black and the other red, and left them next to the crate before he opened his balcony doors. He stepped outside.  Much to his liking, the wind was being blocked as anticipated and left minimal airflow to his covered balcony. He went back inside to find that Nasch had picked up the crate and walked towards the balcony with it in his hands.   
  
He took the crate from him as Nasch put his overcoat on. Vector set up the candles, meticulously choosing them by size, so he could set them up in a way that was pleasing to the eye, four groups of five candles of varying heights and colors created the beginnings of a circle.   
  
“Shit,” Vector swore under his breath. “Can you get me a flint or something to light these?”   
  
“I might have something easier.” Nasch reached into his pocket and pulled out his tin of makeshift matches. He handed them to Vector who looked at the tin with a puzzled expression on his face before he opened it a little too roughly and sent the matches flying around the balcony.   
  
Vector worked quickly gathering the ones around him and putting them back into the tin as Nasch bent over and worked at picking up the ones he saw. He knelt in front of Vector and handed him the three he found. The prince leaned up and looked at him, realizing how close he was to the man in front of him. He thanked whatever higher power that came to his mind it was just dark enough that Vector couldn’t see the slight flush that rose to his cheeks as he backed away from him, settling comfortably in his position before Vector handed the tin back to him open.   
  
“It might be best if you light the ones behind you instead of having me climb over you to get them.”   
  
Nasch took a match and struck it on the ground next to him. He twisted backward lighting the tallest candle out of the two groups behind him before shaking the match to get rid of the flame. He then used that candle to light the others. When he turned back around to face Vector, the other three groups of candles were already lit and glowing brightly in the darkness of the cloudy night.   
  
Vector produced a bundle of white sage and an abalone shell.

“So during this festival, we celebrate the harvest no matter how big or small because it is a gift from the Gods. This also marks the start of another year. We burn the remains of our candles we’ve used throughout the year and make or buy new ones for the upcoming darker months.”   
  
Vector leaned to the side and picked up a candle. He placed that one in front of him and used it to light the sage. He blew on the bundle lightly to bring forth a steady stream of smoke and to ensure that it was properly lit. He held the bundle above the shell and was sure to collect the ashes as they fell and cooled in the air. Vector closed his eyes and spoke in his native tongue and Nasch found himself mystified as just how well the language fit him. The words fell easily off of his tongue and melted together as he spoke. Nasch found himself drowning in foreign words.   
  
Vector in the light of the candles shrouded slightly by the rising smoke from the sage would become imprinted in his mind for years to come. Nasch felt his heart threaten to beat out of his chest with adoration. He had never seen or heard Vector recite what he assumed were prayers and words of thanks to his gods and he was enthralled by the other man.

Vector then began to sing a hymn. It was hauntingly beautiful considering the circumstances. Nasch would have been content with this being the end of his life. A beautiful man in front of him singing in a language he knew nothing about was all he needed to be content with the moment.   
  
Nasch considered himself a God-fearing man. The gods had brought him back from the edge of the Underworld multiple times after all. How could he not praise the beings that gave him his strength?

There was just something about watching the man in front of him that made him unsettled with the foreign emotions coursing through his veins. Vector seemed like a god before him. Coming quietly as a savior to bring him up from his darkest days.    
  
Vector opened his eyes and blew on the sage once more before setting it to the side. “I’m sorry if that was odd,” he chuckled. “Religion has been the only constant thing in my life despite the chaos I’ve endured.”   
  
“Never apologize for your religion,” Nasch replied. “Even if it differs from my own, I believe religion makes a man and each man must get to salvation his own way.”   
  
Vector smiled and looked down at his hands in his lap. “Each man must get to salvation his own way,” he repeated. “I have to remember that one.”   
  
Vector spoke again about usual traditions and prayers. He gave thorough explanations of the words he had just recited along with a somewhat botched translation. Nasch listened intently to him talk about his gods and his customs for a long while. Thankfully, no lewd thoughts interrupted this time he had.   
  
If Nasch thought this man was breathtaking before, he was wrong. Tonight, watching the glimpse of passion in his eyes as he spoke about the Sun God and his wife. He spoke fondly about different traditions and this and that. He rambled on for what was at least an hour or more and Nasch listened carefully to each word that left him. He had fallen under Vector’s spell and now he could never smell white sage again without reverting his memory back to tonight; he was sure.   
  
Nasch was pulled out of his abnormal focus on Vector when the man in front of him chuckled and apologized for rambling.   
  
“Never apologize for something you haven‘t done wrong,” Nasch told him.   
  
“I feel like I’m boring you,” he replied somewhat quietly.   
  
“Believe it or not, I’ve been listening to you this entire time.”   
  
Vector sat up straight and folded his arms across his chest. A mischievous smirk rose to his face. “Repeat the last thing I said, then.”   
  
“You were speaking of how your people are all children of your Sun God and how he and his wife separated and went founding different cities in the name of the Gods. One of which is your capital today. You talked about the differences between northern and southern Cusco if I’m not mistaken.” Nasch finished his statement with a smile and found himself thoroughly amused at Vector’s surprised glare.   
  
Vector let his hands fall back into his lap as he leaned forward and laughed. It was the most beautiful sound that Nasch had heard in a long time. He smiled wide as Vector glanced at the sage that was still slowly burning next to him.   
  
“The prayers are the only official part of the celebration. You can leave if you’d like. I know you have a full day tomorrow plus you aren’t feeling too well.”   
  


“You’re sure that was the end of it?” Nasch asked him. That was alarmingly quick.

“I know you aren’t feeling well. You should go and get some rest,” Vector replied with a smile.

  
“I figured that I could lose some sleep since you asked me to celebrate with you.”   
  
Vector abruptly lowered his voice and looked slightly saddened as he spoke. He looked over to his right at the moon steadily rising. “I appreciate it. I really do.”   
  
“I know it means a lot to you,” Nasch told him. It was the truth. The reason he was here was that the holiday meant a lot to Vector. He couldn’t begrudge him that.    
  
“I-” Vector looked down at the candle in front of him. Nasch felt the tension in the air spike as he watched Vector move the candle slightly forwards and spilling hot wax onto the stone floor of the balcony.   
  
“Never thought you’d miss home?” Nasch completed his sentence for him and Vector looked up at him.   
  
“As much of a hell as it is, I still miss it.” Vector’s expression changed as he chuckled. “God! after I take the throne and get things settled, you have to come to visit me.”   
  
Vector smiled genuinely at him and Nasch only fell further under his spell. The hyper-focus on him had returned, but it was slightly different this time. The light of the candle gave the violets in his eyes more depth. They made the color seem darker, Nasch knew somewhere in the back of his mind they looked familiar but he couldn’t place it.   
  
“I think might be something worth making time for. I’ll hold you to it.”   
  
Nasch stood and stretched his legs which were now numb from sitting on them for so long. Vector stood also and as soon as Nasch was upright, he was met with a tight embrace from him. Nasch hugged him back and never wanted to let go. He did though as to not seem odd. There was no way that Vector returned a semblance of what Nasch felt for him. As he let go, Nasch bid him goodnight and walked back to his rooms. If there was divine way that Vector returned feelings Nasch told himself that he wouldn’t hesitate at the chance to hold him even if it meant letting him go soon after. A year or two of love is better than no love.   
  
Love, was that correct?   
  
It wasn’t an emotion he was accustomed to in any way, shape, or form. He had known the physical aspect of love that came along with it. He knew well. It was this emotion, this primal feeling he knew once before but pushed it far within the depths of his memory. Abandoned by his lover then, he closed himself off from the feeling, never to fathom he would feel it again.    
  
Nasch walked into his sitting room and closed the door behind him, subconsciously making a note that he didn’t do that often. He didn’t lock it though. He never did that. He sat on the sofa and pulled one leg onto the cushions. He opted for comfort’s sake to keep the other on flat on the floor. He leaned back against the arm of the chair and shifted himself out of his overcoat, not bothering to move it from under him.   
  
Vector flooded his thoughts. The way his smile lit up in the dim light from the candles. The way his native tongue seemed to make him seem more exotic and appealing. How he’d love to hear in other situations. He found himself suddenly infatuated with every part of the man. He remembered the glimpse of his collarbone and shoulder and how much he would love to cover it in love bites. He longed to mark him, to make him his.  Not just on a physical level either. He wanted to spend each night next to him and to wake up each morning next to him. Every situation he found himself in he would thing ‘Vector would like this.’ or similar thoughts. He would love to-   
  
Love. That word again. Nasch’s heart practically stopped when he realized his feelings.    
  
He loved Vector.   
  
It was this realization that made all thoughts surrounding Vector come flooding into his mind. For the first time, he let them. Tonight, Nasch realized he was a damned man and if he was correct with his assumption, he might as well indulge himself. A damned man was nothing more than that.   
  
‘Just this once,’ he told himself as he unfastened his belt. He would regret succumbing to his sexual urges like a teenager afterward, he knew this. He would feel disgusted and filthy, like an animal who had no self-control or awareness.   
  
‘Just this once.’ The phrase repeated itself in his mind like a mantra. He shifted himself slightly downwards so he was comfortably lounging on the sofa and tucked a pillow under his back.   
  
He took his cock in his hand.

 


	5. Frost

**Autumn: Year 3**

 

Nasch woke the next morning with a strong sense of self-hatred and disgust as he knew he would. He pulled himself out of bed just before dawn and dressed before heading downstairs to the chapel to the morning religious services. Since he woke himself up at an ungodly hour of the morning, he figured he might as well do something useful with his time.

Merag led the services twice a day, one at dawn and the other at sundown. Nasch never made it to the sundown services as he normally found himself buried in work. As the days got shorter though, he would have the time to go to them. There was no guarantee he would on account he liked to make the most of the extra time he had in the colder months. He felt a bitter chill in the air this morning and as he entered the hallway that ran around the perimeter of the palace he glanced out of the window. The first frost had arrived.

Nasch grew slightly excited at the sight of the frost decorating the grass of the palace garden. This meant that all activity of trading vessels and things of the like would slow to a halt soon on account they could not even make it in port. The ships would dock for the winter soon which meant the royal rooms upstairs would soon receive another semi-permanent resident, the Captain of the Imperial ship.

The Imperial was Nasch’s personal vessel which he purchased soon after he took the throne. He hand-picked the crew himself of the men he once sailed with. It’s captain and Nasch’s best friend since childhood would soon appear for the winter. Kellem, much like Nasch, got a taste of what the world offered and took it. Neither of them wanted to return to their hometown if they didn’t find it necessary. There was one time a year and their last day together that they returned to “the Gap” and that was Beltane, the spring solstice.

Nasch continued on his walk and entered the final guard station and into the Grand Foyer. The dining room and the ballroom to his right, and his first destination to his left. He turned and entered the sacristy where he knew his sister would be as she was before every service. It was a large room filled with plants and herbs that would be dried out and turned into medicines. Merag occasionally helped the young priests with trimming and preserving the numerous specimens. She also taught every one of them herself how to make the different medicines and how to administer them.

Nasch spotted her from across the room with the young priestess she had taken under her wing. The girl was only thirteen years of age and went by the name “Cherry” most likely due to her red hair and affinity for sweet things. Nasch never asked her.

“Good morning, Emperor,” Cherry greeted him as soon as she spotted him as she did almost every morning.

“Morning, Cherry. Sleep well?” He asked her. She had such a contagious personality that elevated the mood of those around her. Nasch enjoyed having her around.

“All right, I suppose. It got so cold last night so suddenly and I got stuck down here for a while. I had to run back to my room as to not catch a chill.”

Most of the priests that worked in the palace also lived on the grounds free as they were servants of the gods. Cherry, being a higher ranking priest and studying under the Almighty High Priestess herself, had a room in a part of the palace that Nasch had rarely visited. Once she got the rank of “High Priestess” she could move her belongings into the royal rooms as was the custom. It was an opportunity extended to all who wanted but the training and studying necessary were too much for most.

Cherry was ambitious enough to ask the Almighty High Priestess herself if she would be her teacher. Merag gladly agreed as she had never had a student before and saw this as an interesting opportunity to further expand her teaching abilities. It was trial and error at first but the two soon fell into a rhythm and knew each other well.

“Oh,” she said. “Miss Merag is letting me say the services this morning.”

Nasch rolled his eyes and smiled as his sister appeared behind the young priest. “Took her long enough, didn’t it?”

Merag walked right past Cherry and next to Nasch whom she greeted with a firm punch in the arm.

“Don’t question my motives, Nasch,” She said with a laugh. “So what’s on your list for today, anyway?”

“I apparently have a few laws to sign and this and that. But this afternoon I have a court case that civilian and national courts couldn’t decide on.”

“What’s that about, if you don’t mind my asking?” Chery said.

“I have no idea. This doesn’t happen too often but when it does, I have no information. Must be a possible use of the death penalty.”

Nasch had been the Emperor for going on three years and not once had he used capital punishment on anyone. No matter the crime, he always let them live. He felt that death was the easy way out for criminals. The worst punishment he had given for a crime was a string of serial murders of women and children and theft. He sentenced the man and wife to what he considered being a fate worse than death. He gave them fifteen years of forced slavery in the fields of Heratus, working to pay back the various items they stole. After that came twenty-five years of jail time. If they were still alive after that, he would exile them from the Seven Lands with no hope of ever returning.

Looking back on it, it seemed to be excessive but when one took because the criminals in question had killed over thirty innocent people, most of which were children, it seemed to fit perfectly. Nasch considered himself a peaceful man until the lives of children were at stake.

“You never used it, have you?” Merag asked.

“I never have and never will. Death is easier than anything I’ve sentenced, in my humble opinion. But these cases are the ones that are normally so deplorable that the courts can’t decide.”

“So they send them to you,” Cherry chimed in. She stood from her seat on the countertop in the room's center and bowed to Nasch out of respect. “I have to go prepare for services. Thank you for stopping by!” With that Cherry turned and left. She grabbed her scripture, and a rolled mat of the tools necessary for the service and exited through the door connecting to the chapel.

Nasch laughed as he leaned against the counter. “She’s a trip, isn’t she?”

Merag leaned next to him. “She’s actually a fantastic Priest. I’m thinking about promoting her soon. She knows almost everything she needs. The other things will come with experience.”

“So we should prepare for another permanent resident in the hall. God, I don’t know if I’m prepared to let another person see that side of me,” He said with feigned exhaustion in his voice. “What do you have on your list today, anyway?”

The “list” was something the twins asked each other about before they became royalty. Every morning their father would make a list of chores and tasks to perform around the house and on the farm they once inhabited. Asking about each other’s list became a force of habit and somewhat of a challenge to see who could complete the most tasks to satisfaction the quickest. For some odd reason, the question carried over into life in the palace.

“Cherry and I are here all day teaching little ones how to make certain medicines. With those same children, we’re going over certain parts of scripture. Neither of us is entirely sure which ones yet.”

“Good luck,” Nasch replied. “I’ve found that I intimidate children. Being the Emperor and all. I try to seem approachable.”

“Oh Nasch, you were never approachable,” she said. “We should probably get inside though. Cherry should start soon.”

Together they walked into the chapel and sat towards the middle. Inside the chapel echoed with people of all kinds wishing each other good morning. They were mostly priests and servants but occasionally there would be a council member or two among the crowd or a few of the royal guard members here and there. The morning services were a smaller crowd than the evening ones as no one was awake for it.

This morning, however, another guest was in attendance. The Captain of the Imperial himself walked into the chapel and sat directly behind Nasch and Merag just before services were to begin. He greeted him as old friends do, with a light smack to the back of the head.

Nasch stood and twisted himself around, prepared to knock some sense into whoever thought they had the authority to touch him. When he saw his best friend’s smug grin, he couldn’t help laugh quietly

“Came back early,” Kellem said. “Didn’t want you to miss me too much.”

“You have to tell me about everything once you’ve settled in. Unfortunately, nothing here’s slowed down so I’ve got a full day ahead of me.”

“S’alright. I got a few things to unpack yet. We’ll talk over supper.”

At this point Cherry raised her arms, signifying the start of the service. The room fell silent as people shuffled into their seats. Once she saw that everyone was settled she sang a hymn in their old language. It always began the services no matter who was leading them. Nasch found this song to be the most calming. It was the song that Merag sang as she swung the thurible holding sweet-smelling incense signifying the beginning of the coronation ceremony. Nasch remembered that day extremely well.

He remembered that night even more. In his sess clouded mind, he remembered how everything slowed when he heard Vector laugh. He counted every freckle that dotted his cheeks and took note of the way his face lit up when he genuinely smiled and-

‘Not now. Not anymore.’

Nasch forced himself to pay attention to the service. Cherry would ask him how she did later on. He forced his attention to her going through the same movements that Merag did every morning and every evening. He noticed little difference in the way she spoke and the inflection in her voice as she led them in prayer from Merag’s own. It was to be expected from her student. Something he took notice of though, was that her pronunciation of their ancient tongue was phenomenal.

It took ages for Nasch to grasp it but Cherry, at age thirteen, had it under her full command. Nasch spoke it fluently along with the modern language that nearly everyone used, and one other he picked up during his previous life as a sailor. He wondered silently just how long she took to learn the language and if her parents were priests. If they were, she most likely learned it at a young age which would explain. He made a mental note to ask her about it after the service concluded.

The morning service didn’t last long, thank God. Cherry concluded it, again with a song. Once she finished, she thanked those in attendance before bidding them all a good day. Nasch immediately stood and turned around to properly greet Kellem. He kneeled on the pew and hugged him.

“God, I’ve missed having you around,” Nasch said. He followed his sister out of the pew and into the aisle, walking side by side with Kellem to the back of the chapel.

“What have you been up to, man? Haven’t seen you since Beltane last year,” Kellem asked him. His accent was thick from speaking the language that Nasch missed hearing.

Kellem struggled with the modern language for before muttering something under his breath and choosing instead to respond in his preferred tongue. Nasch responded happily, chatting in the language that the two had learned together from their various ventures on the ocean. They reached the back of the chapel and Kellem left to head to his room upstairs and unpack his things. Nasch followed Merag into the Sacristy once more and waited for Cherry there.

The room now buzzed with activity from priests and their children, tending to plants and the fire in the hearth and the wood-burning stoves that were placed throughout the room. The chill was absent in the room now as it should be. Cherry came bounding in the room shortly after Nasch sat on a space on the countertop that stretched throughout the middle of the room. She went over to the area sectioned off as her own and placed her religious items down along with her scripture. She organized the items in front of her while she was there.

“Kellem’s back early this year, isn’t he,” Merag stated.

“Probably wasn’t enough time to take on another voyage. He normally arrives a few weeks after the frost. Just after finishing his last venture,” Nasch replied

“Where did you send him this time?” she asked him, dragging a stool over and sitting on it.

“Jenira. About a month ago I think. Diplomats going to amend the trade deal we have with them.”

“Good. That needed fixing,” she said as she made herself as comfortable as one could on a wooden stool.

“We added stipulations. I’ll have the reports on my desk soon enough. I’ll fill you in.”

Cherry came walking over with a smile on her face and Nasch couldn’t help smile himself. “How’d I do?” she asked.

“Almost as good as me,” Merag said with a smile as she extended her arms to quickly hug the girl. “I’m so proud.”

“Cherry,” Nasch said. “Where did you learn to speak the old language?”

“A lot of studying and practice while in seminary. Some sounds are harder than others but I managed.”

Her reply astounded Nasch. “I could have sworn your parents were priests with the way you spoke it so fluently.”

“My nan raised me. She was most definitely not a priest,” she replied.

Merag laughed. “Our Nan was the only person that Nasch would listen to when we were little. I’m convinced that she still is.”

“Well, all I have to say is that I am very impressed.” Nasch slid off of the counter and pulled the young priestess into a quick hug. It was unusual for someone who held so much status to speak and act casually to those under him, but Nasch attempted to seem more casual than most. He preferred it that way, and it won people over as an added bonus.

“Thank you,” she said. “It means a lot.”

“Unfortunately, I have things to do before this afternoon. I wish you two the best of luck with the children today.”

The two young women thanked him as he turned towards the door leading to the grand foyer. He pushed it open and close it behind him quickly as to not let out the heat trapped within the room. He was hit with a shiver that ran through him as his body readjusted to the constant chill that ran everywhere else in the palace.

Nasch headed right for his study so he could complete whatever paperwork that found its way under his door. However, he was met with a rather troubled looking member of the royal guard on his way.

“Sir,” she said. “They need you in the throne room.”

Nasch turned around instantly and walked back down the hallway in the way he came. “Are you all right?” he asked her as they walked.

“The trial will take place as soon as possible. It-..” She hesitated. At this moment Nasch remembered that he had never seen her face before and decided now was the time to calm her down before heading into the room with her.

Before she had the chance to continue speaking Nasch stopped in the hallway, causing her to halt too. “If I may, miss. I don’t recall seeing your face before. How long have they have stationed you at the palace?”

“I am a part of the red guard, trained in the spring.” She sighed.

“What’s your name?” he asked her.

The look of surprise on her face told him she had never seen him before, let alone expected him to talk to her.

“Phoebe, Sir,” she said with a large exhale.

Nasch walked again, this time deciding to casually chat with her on the way back to the grand foyer. “Before they crowned me Emperor, I used to accompany my First Knight when he went to assist in training the guard. If I‘m honest, the women terrified me.”

“How so, Sir?” she asked him.

“There’s something I’ve noticed. They are terrified of nothing. The women I watched train were relentless. They’d launch themselves at an enemy with no sense of danger or fear while the men would hold back. You were just like the women I saw then, Phoebe.”

“Sir. This trial is worse than I thought. Not much has the power to shake me, but I have two little ones of my own.”

“I know nothing about this case. You will have to fill me in.”

“If it’s all right, I’ll let the others in the room do that, sir. It’s a lot more than I originally assumed it would be.”

By this time the pair had reached the foyer and Nasch walked straight ahead to the closed doors of the throne room. Phoebe reclaimed her place at the door along with one other guard and with his signal, they pushed open the doors, letting him inside. Nasch pain no attention to the people gathered there and instead walked straight to his throne where he sat. He decided on looking more condescending than usual and rested his arms on the arms of the throne. A young woman approached him from the front and bowed deeply.

“Emperor,” Her accent was thick and Nasch couldn’t place it.

Nasch stood to greet her as she obviously was not involved in the trial. He offered his hand and helped her stand fully.

“I am your interpreter today, Sir,” she told him. “I will stand next to you so I can tell you what is going on.”

“What is your name, Miss?” He asked her as he offered his arm and escorted her to the right of the throne. Before resuming his previous position.

“Amaru, Sir.”

“Thank you for what you are doing. I know little about this case but I know it was a lot more than expected.’

She let out a shaky breath. “It is.”

Four Royal guards walked in. Two escorting a woman in chains about his own mother’s age, and the other two escorting a child. The first thing that Nasch noticed was that the two looked nothing alike. The second thing he noticed was that the child was on the verge of tears. He had better tread carefully as to not have a screaming child on his hands.

The guards stopped halfway through the room and halted the movement of the two they had been escorting. Nasch also noticed that they doubled the usual guard in the room. It was odd considering the two possible suspects. He still wasn’t sure who the main players were in this charade.

A young man walked in front of them and stopped at the bottom of the steps. He bowed much like the interpreter had and began his briefing. “My Emperor,” He began. “Child is a suspect of murder.”

“Wait. The child?” Nasch glanced at the small boy who stood there looking anywhere and everywhere, trembling and petrified. He held his hands together and close to his chest.

“Yes, sir. On the third day of summer, his brother was found dead, smothered by a winter coat. He was only six months old. The boy’s mother is here because we have… suspicions, sir. The interpreter doesn’t speak the language that the boy is, but she speaks something close.”

“So there is still a barrier.” If anyone saw Nasch roll his eyes at that statement, he would definitely suffer a blow to his reputation.

The young man hesitated. “Unfortunately there is, sir. We also have certain pieces of evidence with us. Like the coat which was apparently what suffocated the child.”

“I will hear the mother speak first,” Nasch said. He was in for a ride with this case. He knew that much. No one was fully prepared to present it to him and so far, everything seemed to be prepared quickly and with little thought. There was something bigger than the murder of a child here, he could sense that much.

The guards escorted the woman forward and began her story, sobbing hysterically as she told the story of her two sons and her husband who had died before their second child was born. Once she was finished, Nasch had a multitude of questions for her but he knew he should start simple.

“How old is your son, here?” the first question was simple.

“Six months to the day when he died, Emperor.”

“That wasn’t the question I asked. I asked about the boy right here. How old is he?”

“Three,” she responded after a quick glance towards his direction. Nasch noted this. It might be of use later on.

“Where was your late husband from?”

“Jenira, sir.”

“I assume the boy you brought with you is his son?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What is his name?”

“Regan, sir.”

That piece of information might also prove to be useful. Nasch watched the scribe write it down on his paper and made sure it was recorded properly. Regan, age three, stepson to the woman in the throne room, half-brother to the child that was smothered to death. After numerous other questions, Nasch decided he was getting nowhere.

It was then he did something he assumed that the other hearings had not. He sent the mother out of the room to wait somewhere out of earshot before he asked the boy questions. By the looks of the young boy, he was most definitely not a murderer. Nasch asked the first question, and the interpreter asked him in her own language.

When the boy answered his question, telling the story of the night that his half-brother died, Nasch had a gut feeling he heard the language before and recently at that. Halfway through the boy’s story, Nasch put his hand up, silencing him politely. He turned to the interpreter.

“It slipped my mind to ask you what languages you two are speaking,” he said.

“I am speaking Quechua but he is speaking an older form used for praying. It is spoken often by those wishing to speak to the gods in Austrania. That is about all I know of the language, sir.”

“Amaru, was it?” He began. “I have someone upstairs that does, in fact, speak Ancient Quechua. If you would like, I can go get him.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regret them but the relief in her eyes said something else. She wasn’t offended at all. In fact, she looked relieved in a way.

“Is that all right, sir?” She affirmed.

“It is perfectly fine,” relief washed through him. “You may step out if you’d like. The second door on the left is the Sacristy. You can ask for Merag and tell her I sent you, she’ll make you a cup of tea if you’d like.”

She stepped in front of him and bowed deeply in appreciation. “Thank you, Sir.”

Nasch stood and took her hand, assisting her down the few marble steps that elevated the throne from the rest of the room. Nasch then excused himself temporarily to go upstairs to retrieve his new translator for the time being. He hurried to Vector’s room upstairs and knocked hard on the door.

“Come in,” Vector said from inside.

Nasch pushed the door open to Vector sitting shirtless and upright in bed with a book in his hands. It was this moment Nasch realized there was a strong possibility he could have been wrong about the language. What a sight that would be. “That language you were speaking last night.”

Vector placed the book in his lap, pages down and looked at Nasch. “My native tongue, yes?”

“Ancient Quechua?”

“Yeah… Its used for prayers and things. Why?” Vector looked at him slightly confused.

“Perfect. Get dressed and come downstairs quickly. I need you to translate for me.” Nasch knew he sounded concerned and rather pushy but he didn’t care. This was urgent. With someone who spoke that form of the language fluently, it would be easier to piece together the story.

Vector grabbed the corner of the blanket and slid it off of his lap as he swung his legs out of bed and stood. He was nude and Nasch found himself disgusted at himself for wanting to look just a little longer but now was not the time for lust-filled thoughts.

Vector walked over to the wardrobe that held his few changes of clothes and paused. He looked at Nasch with more confusion than he thought was possible. “Who speaks Ancient Quechua? It's not a common language, you know.”

“The child involved with the case speaks it.”

Vector’s face went white as a sheet as he pulled a pair of trousers out of the closet. “A child? You’re serious.”

“Unfortunately, I am. I don‘t understand what this means,” Nasch replied.

Vector put the trousers back in the wardrobe and instead pulled out his more traditional Austranian attire instead. “God, I hope you’re fucking kidding, Nasch. It’s not common for a child to speak that language.”

Vector dressed quickly, tying the sarong around his waist before walking over to a pouch on the desk containing his traditional jewelry. He quickly placed armbands and bracelets and a few rings before grabbing at the wool shawl he had hung over the back of a chair. Now, dressed as a proper Austranian prince, he placed the shawl over his shoulders and wrapped it over his chest. They made no sort of traditional Austranian attire for the cold weather and Vector detested that fact.

He walked to the door not bothering to stop where Nasch was in the doorway and instead continued down the hallway at a worried pace. Nasch jogged slightly to catch up with him and walked at his side. He suppressed his lewd thoughts successfully, most likely because he had given into them the night before. Now, most of what remained was a strong sense of disgust and self-hatred. He thought about what he had done on the way back to the throne room and felt more ashamed than he should have. What happened behind closed doors will remain behind closed doors. No one knew, not even the man next to him that filled his thoughts. He’d like to keep it that way.

They walked the long hallway and stopped before the doors to the throne room. Nasch gave the guards stationed there a signal, and they pushed them open. The child turned around at the noise and his expression changed. Nasch knew he would have a crying child on his hands soon and that was not something he needed.

As soon as the child recognized the prince, he sniffled. He knelt down and pressed his forehead to the floor, crying and attempting to speak in the language he knew well. It was a pitiful sight, and it broke Nasch’s heart to see the boy give a greeting to the soon-to-be ruler of a foreign land. Vector returned the boy’s greeting with a bow and knelt down in front of him, meeting his gaze.

Vector turned to Nasch with pain in his eyes. “This isn’t good, Nasch. You have a lot more on your hands with this case than you thought. This is Roca. He-” Vector paused searching for the correct words. “He went missing from Cusco over a year and a half ago. Right before the feast with my father… I thought he ran away.”

“What do you mean?” Nasch asked him.

“This will seem barbaric to you but we take the purest of beings, children, raise them as offerings and once something important happens, we offer them to the gods. Roca is one of the holiest people according to our religion, chosen from birth to be returned to the gods pure.”

Child sacrifices. Nasch had to force himself to keep calm. Vector believed in child sacrifices. This man he had only confirmed that he had feelings for, had the audacity to take an innocent child and kill them “in the name of his gods”. Children are the future and always will be. Everyone should treat them with respect and raised properly, not sacrificed and killed off. Nasch saw red and clenched his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palm. How dare this beautiful man support such a disgusting cause? Nasch was never a man to intrude on one’s religion but this practice was putting the lives of those who needed guidance the most in danger.

Nasch loosened his fists and inhaled deeply. He forced himself to not let it get to him. Although, he couldn’t help feel the disgust settling in his stomach. This man was not good for him. He would never be good for him.

“Were you there when he went missing?” Nasch asked Vector.

“I was the one in charge of bringing him to the feast but when I went to his room, he wasn’t there,” he replied.

“Ask him what happened when he was taken from Austrania,” Nasch commanded. He had to keep a stern facade despite his offending emotions.

Vector obliged, asking in the foreign language and then waiting for the boy’s lengthy answer before replying. “He said two of the guards came to escort him to the throne room to the king, my father, but when he agreed to go, they took him the opposite way. Once they reached the end of the hallway, they picked him up and-” He trailed off again, asking another question and making sure he had the details right.

Nasch crossed his arms over his chest. This poor boy. He knew he shouldn’t let his emotions get the best of him. He hoped that he at least looked calm.

“They pulled a cloth bag over his head and “put him to sleep”. When he woke up, he was in a trunk, tied up and on the way to the boat.”

“Ask him how long he was with the woman for, how many seasons.”

“He got to her house this past winter. It was cold, and he was not prepared for it.”

Winter, there weren’t many vessels that ran in the winter. Few could with all the ice. Nasch could easily find out which one brought him over from docking records. Provided they were kept properly. Nasch knew of a few where they wouldn’t be kept up to standards. With his luck though, it would be one of those where the ship went into port with Roca. God, this case would be the death of him. There was too much to try to focus on.

“Did she have the baby then?” Nasch asked.

“No.”

Nasch called over the young man that had given him the briefing before all of this. “Do you have the coat that smothered the child?” He asked him.

“Yes, sir,” he replied. He then walked over to the man who held the evidence in his hands. the man who held the evidence for the case, taking the coat from him he gave it to the Emperor who held it in his hands. It was heavy wool and almost floor length, tailored for a very tall man. Nasch himself wasn’t expecting the weight it had and it was too much for a child of four years old to carry. Let alone place it on top of another child but he could see how the baby had died.

“How did you say he killed the child?”

“He placed the folded coat on top of his head. He smothered him, sir.”

“Do you remember how the coat was folded?” Nasch asked him.

“I wasn’t there when the guard was called in, sir. I believe at least one guard here was one of them called in.”

“You bring me a case and don’t have the first responders to the scene?” Nasch asked, slightly perturbed. These men were most definitely not prepared to present this case to him and it was clear.

After a few moments of tense silence in the throne room, one guard stepped forward and raised his hand. “I was there, sir.”

“Do you remember how the coat was folded?”

“I believe so, sir.”

Nasch handed him the coat, and he folded it somewhat neatly with the collar on top and placed it in Nasch’s arms. Nasch placed the coat on the floor in front of Roca. “Can you pick it up for me?” he asked the child.

Vector translated and Roca, not knowing what the Emperor meant or what was going on, picked it up by the collar and struggled for a long moment to get the entire thing into his arms. Nasch thanked him and put the coat back into the hands of the man who held it first. He summoned the woman back in the room along with the guards that held her chains.

He returned to the throne and sit. He felt a rather aggressive migraine coming on but knew this would take the rest of the morning and run into the afternoon. His tasks he had set for today would need to be complete tonight after the council meeting or tomorrow amid the other things. That was a matter for later on though. For now, he had to focus on what was left of this trial which would be a rather difficult task.

He heard Vector say something in a language he understood. “Be brave, little one. You will be all right.”

The woman locked eyes with Nasch and grew increasingly nervous. Nasch sat forward on the throne and looked at her. “I’m just going to say this, ma’am. It doesn’t look good for you. This child is not from Jenira. I doubt that he is even your husband’s child. He is also most definitely not capable of lifting the coat that smothered your son. Why don’t you tell me the full story?”

The woman became furious all too suddenly. She spat on the floor in front of her, causing the guards to drop the chains and hold her by the arms instead. Most guilty criminals became unstable in their emotions like this before they cracked. Nasch was morbidly curious to find out the emotions she would cycle through.

“I’d rather die than tell you anything about my life, you filthy Pelian!”

Nasch had to keep himself from chuckling as he turned his head to the scribe at his left. “Add another charge to the list, scribe. Insulting the Emperor.” He turned back towards her and spoke again. “Even if I find you ‘not guilty’ of the charges you came in here with, you will never walk as a free woman again. If you tell me the truth, I can think about lessening your sentence.”

The woman stayed silent. The anger faded from her eyes and replaced itself with anxiousness. Then, as if someone stepped on a twig in the night's quiet, she broke. Her knees buckled below her. And she sobbed openly in the throne room.

‘That didn’t take long,’  the Emperor thought as he sat back in his throne.

Nasch glanced at Roca and Vector. The boy stood there, looking as brave as he could be. Nasch felt himself growing proud at him. He stood there, despite not knowing what was going on or what would happen to him. Nasch couldn’t decide if it was how young he was and how it might have been a matter of him not understanding the magnitude of the situation or something else. The boy stood unflinching as the woman gave in.

In between her sobs, she admitted her guilt in killing her own son. Nasch wasn’t surprised by that, but what he was taken aback by was her next confession. She was a “safe house” in an underground human trafficking ring. She had no other way to get an income and decided that it was the best way to.

This was the detail that was missing. This was what made others shy away and most likely why people were not prepared in presenting this case. It was something they didn’t want to speak about. Human trafficking was a despicable crime, buying and selling people for all intents and purposes. Roca was lucky that he made it out. Many of the people being sold were never seen again. It all made sense now but Nasch felt no relief even after he gave her a lifetime behind bars as her sentence.

His head was pounding and every light in the room was too bright, every sound was too loud. The migraine had hit him full force now, and he knew he couldn’t be done for the day. He still had so much to do. Roca had to be placed within a real safe house until they could return him to Austrania. As much as Nasch knew he didn’t want to send him back to the people that would kill him, he knew he had to.

After the guard escorted the woman out of the throne room screaming, Nasch stood slowly. He walked over to Roca and knelt in front of him. He smiled, masking the immense pain he felt in his head. “Thank you,” He said to the boy. “You were very brave.”

As a response, Roca giggled and threw himself into the arms of the Emperor. Nasch picked him up and stood. “Now, let’s get you home.”


	6. Safety

**Autumn: Year 3**

 

Nasch walked to his study with the child in his arms, bouncing him happily. Despite the pounding of a migraine in his head, he had other matters to attend to until the end of the day. He couldn’t let sensitivity to light and sound ruin the work that he needed to finish. Vector followed behind closely as they walked into the room.

Nasch sat down at his desk with Roca happily talking to himself in his lap. There was no more need for a guarded escort anymore as the main part of the trial had concluded and this child was most definitely not a danger to him or anyone for that matter.

Nasch just had to figure out a way to get Roca back to where he belonged without revealing Vector’s current location. The transcripts of the proceedings would be altered. Vector would go unnamed and the men and women that were in the room would be sworn to secrecy for another year surrounding the events of the trial. Nasch debated on extending that time frame because of a possible ring of human trafficking. It all depended on whatever nonsense he uncovered next.

The woman would be interrogated further, all chances at freedom thrown to the wind. There, hopefully, she would confess to more, bring up names and locations. It was only a hope, but it was something. However, that was a thought for later.

For the time being as Nasch sorted through papers, Vector sat in the chair on the other side of the desk, talking happily in his native tongue to the boy who was simply excited to see a familiar face. Nasch couldn’t imagine the confusion in that boy’s mind. Eventually, Roca grew tired of sitting in Nasch’s lap and decided Vector was more entertainment. He hopped down and walked over to the prince, still in his Austranian attire and began speaking to him excitedly. Nasch couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the valiant prince throwing royal mannerisms and policies behind as he talked and played with the little boy.

He moved to the floor and took off one of his expensive bracelets and played a game where it sat in between them. They stayed with their hands behind their backs, and when Vector gave a cue both of them reached for the bracelet. Whoever got it first won the game. It was adorable considering the facts. Roca was a doomed child, sentenced to death from birth. Nasch had a feeling that if they sent him back, he would be sacrificed to their gods immediately. He didn’t want for that to happen, but Roca simply didn’t belong in the Seven Lands.

As he was going through documents, he thought about possibly keeping Roca in the Seven Lands to save his life. He wondered what Vector would think about that. Nasch would have to ask later on if he remembered.

Roca and Vector were both laughing as they played their little game and amidst the mountain of papers and documents he had to sift through, Nasch stole little glances at them. He ghosted the idea that Vector would be a good family man, a fantastic father to his children. It broke the Emperor’s heart to admit that would be lost to the world if there was ever a possibility that he was able to keep Vector as his own.

Vector ended up picking up the child and bouncing him in his arms before settling his weight on his hip. “You cleaned the pot from last night, right?” he asked.

“I did,” Nasch replied, glancing over the top of his spectacles.

“Good. I’ll get started on supper. I’m taking Roca with me by the way. We can figure out what to do with him later on.”

“My plan is to get him back to Austrania to his family, all the while keeping your location a secret. We’ll come up with a plan later.” Nasch smiled as he motioned with his hand towards the door with a chuckle and a grin. “Go on, leave me alone to do boring royal things.”

“When do you think that you’ll be done tonight?” Vector asked with his back turned and his hand on the doorknob.

“No idea. My plans for the day took a blow when Roca came in early. Most likely late,” Nasch replied

“Alright. I’ll see you then, Nasch.”

With that, Vector left the room and closed the door behind him. Nasch allowed himself to lean back in his chair for a few moments and clench his eyes shut. This damn migraine would be too much for him today. The rest of the afternoon would be filled with paperwork and annoyances. Thank God that he didn’t have a council meeting. That was unneeded stress.

The Emperor finished with his work a little after sundown and turned down the oil lamps in his study, causing the windowless room to go dark. Nasch sat back down in his desk chair for a few moments, resting his head in his hands and fighting off the pain that pounded behind his eyes. Since his work was done he could spend a few minutes in the quiet darkness of his study attempting to calm his migraine to no avail. When he decided that most attempts would end in failure, he resigned himself to his rooms for the evening.

He took his time walking the nearly empty halls of the palace, careful to not aggravate his sensitivity to sound as his footsteps would echo on the marble. He walked up the spiral staircase and paused at the sound of laughter at Vector’s door. He was still playing with the small child, keeping him occupied and tiring him out before bedtime. Nasch Acknowledged that Roca would be in Vector’s care until they got the chance to get him home. He allowed it as it was better than putting the child up with someone who didn't speak the language.

Nasch continued walking to his rooms and didn’t hesitate when he saw Durbe and Merag sitting on the sofa. He went into his bedroom, shut the door, stripped himself of his garments and laid down, smothering himself in the blankets to bring some semblance of warmth into his bones.

He was falling ill and he knew that. He had a tendency to work himself close to death, which he also knew. However, with certain tasks, he couldn’t leave them to anyone but himself. It was simply a lack of trust. He couldn't trust anyone to complete them to his satisfaction, not even his sister who would take over his tasks when he eventually became too ill to get out of bed. 

Falling asleep was not the intention, however, it was the unintended result. He slept peacefully until morning, successfully ridding himself of the offending migraine but adding aches in his joints in its place.

He assumed that he looked like he was near death because when he walked into the sacristy the next morning before the services he was met with his sister yelling to go back to bed. “You’re going to work yourself to death, dammit. We need an Emperor. Not just me who can act as one,” She said.

“After the services, I’ll consider it,” Nasch replied as he sat on the counter like every other morning. There was no use arguing with his sister or any woman for that matter. Nasch found that he always lost.

Cherry walked over and practically threw a mug of some tea at him. “You should really go back to bed, Nasch,” she said as he took a sip.

Merag smirked. “Before the tea knocks you out,” she continued.

“Goddamnit, Merag. You plotted against me and even got Cherry in on it.”

“Go the hell to bed. You look like death is at your heels,” Merag said as she handed Cherry her book of scripture, allowing the young girl to lead the morning services for the second day in a row.

Nasch made a noise in protest as he slid off of the counter and began walking towards the door. “Wouldn’t be the first time death has been at me,” He said with a chuckle as he walked out of the sacristy and into the foyer.

He walked towards his study to make sure that everything was in order fro Merag to take over when someone was needed. There was no council meeting planned which was good. Nasch had finished the majority of the paperwork the day before, and he discovered that he just had one minuscule task left which he completed quickly. He took the novel he had hidden at the bottom of one of his drawers and resigned himself to his rooms for the rest of the day.

He placed a few more logs onto the hearth, unfastened his boots and sat on the sofa. He decided to lay down and wrap himself in the wool blanket draped over the back of the sofa. Sleep almost took over when he heard the tapping of small shoes in the hallway. Nasch didn’t even bother to open his eyes. He simply rolled so that he was facing the back of the sofa. The tapping got closer and closer until it was in front of him on the bricks of the hearth. He forgot Roca was in Vector’s care temporarily but remembered when he heard the man’s voice say something before sitting down next to the boy in front of the fire. He hushed him and before long, Nasch was able to focus on the crackling of the fire and fall back asleep.

He woke to Merag shaking him awake. Night had fallen and as soon as he opened his eyes the migraine he thought he was rid of returned. He sat up slowly and came face to face with his sister. She placed the back of her hand to his forehead and sat next to him.

“You don’t have a fever so I think you’ll live,” she said.

Being the head of religion in the Seven Lands, Merag was also a healer as the two went hand in hand. She was one of the best in the nation after her training and she took it seriously. She cared more about Nasch’s health than he did which was both a blessing and a curse. It was endearing at times and extremely annoying the for rest. They were twins after all and there would come a day where the rest of their blood family would be gone. They would be all that the other had.

“Lucky for you, I finished most things yesterday so you wouldn’t stress over multitasking.”

“Oh, I don’t mind that. It makes the day go faster. Vector is making some kind of rice dish for dinner by the way. Also, he came up with a plan to get Roca home and keep his ass safe.”

Nasch stretched and leaned against the arm of the chair as he normally did. “Fill me in?”

“The interpreter that was here yesterday. She’s going home in a few days and will take Roca home. She’ll lie to the king saying that she never saw Vector.”

“This is based on the fact that she’ll keep her word. I don’t know if I trust that.” Nasch rose from his seat and pulled on his overcoat. He stepped into his boots not bothering to fasten them. He wouldn’t be very long on his balcony after all.

He stepped outside and into the air and let the wind close the door behind him. It was brutal tonight and he wasn’t too sure if he could even manage to light his cigarette let alone smoke it without getting frostbite. He pulled his tin out of his pocket and struck one of the matches against the stone wall next to the door and as he expected, the wind took the flame. He tried another, this time, carefully guarding it against the wind with his back turned and hand cradling the match. He brought it to the cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

As soon as he turned around, however, he heard the balcony doors behind him open and slam shut. “Ah fuck. Sorry Nasch,” came the hasty apology.

Nasch blew smoke out of his mouth as he turned around to see the Captain of the Imperial walking towards him. “I came in earlier but you were passed the fuck out on the couch so I left,” he said.

“I’m surprised you let me sleep,” Nasch replied. He was extremely excited to see his best frine d back after six months with no communication whatsoever. With Kellem, he was able to throw all royal mannerisms and habits aside and be who he was before the crown. Or, arguably who he still was but couldn’t show.

Kellem, being a sailor that just returned for the winter, had a thick accent that would gradually get less as the winter months raged on. It would return full force when he began using the language more often in the spring. It was an odd cycle, really. “I wasn’t going to but I tried to wake you and you just punched me and fell back asleep. Ya alright?”

Nasch pulled the tin out of his pocket and handed it to the man next to him. He took it and lit a cigarette for himself. “Lavender?” he asked, blowing smoke out of his nose.

Nasch agreed and sat on the banister, holding his cigarette in between his forefinger and middle as he did so. He let a rather strong gust of wind hit his back and blow ashes onto the balcony.

“So when were you gonna tell me that ya got a new plaything?”

Nasch looked at him quickly before taking another drag from his cigarette. “What the fuck, Kellem?”

“The ginger boy with the kid. Ah shit, what’s his name?”

Nasch began to chuckle. “Fuck, Vector?”

“Yeah, him.”

Nasch began to laugh harder than he expected. He choked on the smoke coming out of his lungs and erupted in a rather nasty coughing fit. The bitter air wasn’t helping his lungs either. “He’s not my new plaything. I don’t even think he swings this way.”

“He looks like someone you’d want to find yourself under,” Kellem said.

This statement earned the Emperor’s best friend a strong punch in the shoulder. “Oh fuck you,” he said.

“You never denied it, ya fag.” Kellem punched him back without thinking and Nasch scrambled to keep his balance and allowing his breath to speed up slightly with the wave of adrenaline that coursed through him.

“I could have died.”

“Not like you haven’t come close.”

“True, ”Nasch flicked the remainder of his cigarette off of the balcony and down the cliffside below him. “But I’m more important now than I was fourteen years ago.”

Sometime within the next month marked the anniversary of the time Nasch’s life was attempted at the hands of a nation. It was something he never talked about in depth and he most likely never would. He could joke about it though and did so often much to the dismay of his mother and father. He bore the raised scar of brutal torture on his back, a line traced with a knife years ago down his spine. He still felt the ghosts of pain though, quite a bit of it in between his shoulders if he stretched wrong.

Despite not speaking of it, Nasch remembered everything about the attack. It was the three years that followed he had trouble recalling.

“Speaking of that, I just remembered something.”

“Oh no,” Nasch responded. Despite loving his best friend like the brother he never had, statements like this still slightly worried him.

“Vector. Didn’t you meet him before?” Kellem might have been from the same place as Nasch and lacked most of the formal education that Nasch also had, but he was a smart man. He remembered names and faces like it was second nature to him. It only made sense that he remembered Vector, the boy who annoyed Nasch so much that Nasch had no choice to walk again, simply so he could walk away.

“I did. I was eight and I still couldn’t walk when he and his father came to discuss a possible trade agreement between the Seven Lands and Austrania.”

“Well, that fuckin’ fell through, didn’t it? Man’s insane now I heard.”

“God yeah. I haven’t heard much from Vector but from what he’s told me, it's awful.”

Kellem leaned his arms on the stone banister and looked out at the waves crashing into the cliffs. “Don’t marry him,” he said.

“Who, Vector?”

“You don’t want a father-in-law like that crazy bastard.”

“Kellem, he doesn’t even swing this way. There’s no way I-”

“Just be careful, Nasch. Letting him live in the palace like this is…” Kellem paused, carefully contemplating how to complete his next statement. “Off-putting.”

“I’m aware. He wasn’t supposed to come back until the ice thawed. But he showed up saying that he had to leave early.”

“That doesn’t strike you as odd at all?”

“Oh, it does. I just don’t know how to react,” Nasch answered.

Nasch knew well that Vector’s father was a madman. Rumors were a thing that ran around the palace halls quickly. Nasch knew there were numerous ones of him and the men that he chose to bed since he became royalty. There were a few others too but he didn’t care much for them. No one brought them up in the presence of the monarch. No one dared.

When Vector was first seen walking the halls of the palace alongside Nasch, his sister and his first knight people were bound to talk. Nasch always heard them some he assumed were true and others, like the one where Vector was beaten by his father, were assumed to be false.

“Enough of this serious shit,” Kellem spoke, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality. “I got some sess with me and since we didn’t get high off our asses last night, tonight might be a better time.”

“Where’d ya get it from this time?” Nasch asked him.

“Eastport. Where else would I fuckin' go for it?”

“Fuck, where did you get it from the time we both got sick off it?”

“I don’t even remember. I was desperate at that time.” Kellem put his head in his hands and laughed. “Fuck, I thought I was dying.”

Nasch began laughing too. It was good to have Kellem back for a while. “Go get the sess. It’ll get rid of my headache.”

“Vector’s got the kid in there.”

“Fuck. He’s only got him for a few more days though. Hopefully.” Nasch reached into his pocket and pulled another cigarette out of the tin. He lit it and exhaled, watching the smoke carry off in the wind.

Merag opened the balcony doors and stepped quickly outside. “Are you two eating? There’s not much left.” After she spoke, she closed the doors behind her quickly as to not let any more heat escape the sitting room.

Nasch finished his cigarette and flicked it over the edge much like the last one. “I’m just going in because it's too fucking cold. Not gonna eat much of anything.”

“You never had much of an appetite, did ya?”

“Never have, never will. I can get through a day perfectly fine with one meal.”

Kellem opened the door and stepped inside, holding it for Nasch behind him. He let it shut with the wind and sat down on the sofa. Before he even had the chance to shuffle out of his overcoat, a blow of whatever rice, meat, and egg concoction that Vector had made. It smelled divine and Nasch ate at least half of the bowl and scraped the rest into Kellem’s when Vector had his back turned as to not be rude.

Before Nasch even had the chance to talk, Vector left to go put the child in his care to bed and Merag left before Nasch and Kellem even came inside. It was simply the Emperor and the captain of the Imperial left alone the room to catch up on 9 months of lost time.

“You never denied anything with Vector,” Kellem said without prompting.

“There’s nothing there.”

“I can see a little bit of an unrequited love blossoming.”

Nasch chuckled and attempted to brush it off. “You don’t fucking know me,” he said.

“When’s the last time you even got laid, Nasch? Maybe it's just a little bit of you being desperate for somethin’,” Kellem began another barrage of questions.

“A year and a half ago,” Nasch grumbled.

“You haven’t gotten fucked in a year and a half? Holy shit.” An astonished laugh left him as he leaned forward on the sofa and hit his thigh.”

Nasch’s face turned red with embarrassment. “Oh shut up. You can’t go two weeks without some broad on your arm. You probably have at least seven bastard children out there.”

Kellem’s childish chuckles left him and he extended his hand in front of Nasch. “Bet.”

“There’s no betting, Kellem. It's the truth.”

“I won’t get laid for to weeks and _you_ -”

Nasch interrupted him.“I swear to the gods above Kellem if you say what I think you’re going to I’ll-”

“Have to fuck Vector.”

“Not gonna happen. End of story.” Nasch leaned back, frustrated by his best friend’s little game.

“You won’t even humor the idea?”

"He doesn't even like men."

“How do you know. You’ve never seen him with a man.”

Nasch sighed and using his hands to emphasize his point, he replied sternly. “Even if he was into men, I can’t run the risk of one of us getting too attached. Fuck! You know hot clingy I get!”

Kellem just laughed in response. He punched the Emperor lightly on the shoulder. “Aw, come on Nasch. Never thought I’d see the day you passed up an opportunity to get laid.”

“I’ve had to pass up a lot of things after I became the Emperor.”

The smirk that spread to the man’s face told Nasch that he was in for another round of teasing. “Is bottoming one of them, Nasch?”

“Oh my fucking God, Kellem!” Nasch stood and walked anywhere that wasn’t the sofa. He ended up in the chair by his largely unused desk across the room. “Why am I still friends with you?”

“Because I keep you high?”

Nasch chuckled. “Probably.”

A comfortable silence fell upon the room as Nasch returned to the sofa. They sat there and talked for quite a while until they were both absolutely sure that the child in Vector’s care had to have been asleep. Kellem left for a few moments to go retrieve items from his temporary room and returned moments later with a sealed jar filled with their drug of choice.

“Tobacco leaves are in the drawer of the side table.”

“You moved them?” Kellem closed the cabinet full of various herbs and spices where the jar was usually kept

“My dad was here last week. Didn’t want him to find out I still smoke.”

Kellem laughed as he walked over to the side table in question. “You’re the damned Emperor and still afraid of your father?”

“Fuck yeah, I am,” Nasch replied. “The man’s terrifying. He weaseled his way into politics using his kids as collateral. I’ll never know how or why he managed it.”

“Status?”

“He was the only one in the Gap that could read aside from my mother. And she taught him. How she didn’t get any form of power, I’ll never know.”

Kellem walked around the back of the sofa with a left-handed cigarette in hand and motioned with his head to the balcony doors. Nasch pulled his overcoat back on and walked with his friend outside, closing the doors behind him tightly. Nasch would smoke sess in his sitting room occasionally but not that much as the smell of the herb tended to travel and stick to every surface imaginable. He turned and threw his tin at Kellem who caught it successfully one-handed.

It had begun to snow something fierce. It was a beautiful sight, really. The snow hitting the ocean waves peacefully. It would eventually escalate and cover every available surface in a large white sheet. Nasch had fond memories of the first snow when he was a child. He and Merag would wake up early just to be the first to roll around in their yard. Now that he was older, Nasch appreciated the sight of untouched snow, something about the purity of it was just appealing.

“It’s fucking cold,” Kellem said as he passed the cigarette to Nasch.

“You won’t feel it in a couple minutes. It doesn’t matter,” Nasch replied.

“Fucking good. I hate the cold.”

Nasch walked over to the banister and leaned against it, passing the item in his hand back to his friend. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had been some time since he could resort to the irresponsibility of intoxication to relax. Although it was nice for a time, he had to be careful as certain methods of attaining this was complicated, dangerous substances. Ones that he had become addicted to accidentally a few years prior. Although there was no way he could become addicted to sess, as it was virtually harmless, he always feared he would start to crave a stronger high again.

Detoxicating from them was hard and Nasch remembered every pain that came with it. He laid in his bed, his body aflame one minute, and ice the next. Every bone in his body felt broken as the paranoia took over. He remembered his lover at the time sitting next to him, afraid to touch and break him. He whispered loving words of encouragement.

‘ _You can get through this. You are strong, Nasch. I know you are.’_

Now those memories were ghosts and the feelings he had felt for the man were proved to be one-sided. Now, all that remained was disgust and the ghost of hatred that he would never let show. It would get in the way of the professional relationship they had to maintain.

He felt the sess affect his sobriety as he took the cigarette in his hand again. He took one more drag of it before handing it back to Kellem. “You can finish it,” he said.

“Ahh, you lack tolerance, my friend. I can fix that before I leave again,” Kellem replied.

Nasch laughed. “I know you will. I just don’t want to make myself sick off of it tonight. I have things to do tomorrow.”

“Like what?”

“A fucking council meeting,” Nasch said. “Being Emperor would be so much better if I could replace them with people of my choice.”

“You can’t fire them?”

“No. They either resign or they die.”

Kellem paused and looked at Nasch slightly confused. He allowed the statement to register fully before speaking. “You could make it look like an accident.”

“I could but I won’t. I like to think I have boundaries.”

“We both know that you don’t,” Kellem laughed. “Remember that bet you and I had before you quit sailing with me?”

Nasch began to laugh. “Which one?”

“To see who get promoted first. The one where you broke the rules.”

“Oh please, that was never in the rules,” Nasch ran his fingers through his hair and held his head in his hands. He felt his heartbeat speed up slightly as he inhaled deeply and exhaled quickly. It always affected him this way and wasn’t sure if it was normal but he never bothered to ask about it. He figured now was as good a time as any. “By the way, is sess supposed to speed up your heart?”

“I dunno. It does for me a bit and after a few moments, it goes back to normal. We’ve been smoking sess for years. Why have you never asked about this?”

Nasch chuckled slightly and looked at Kellem with a dumb grin on his face before giving his honest answer. “I always forget.”

“Dear god, how are you this high?”

“Listen, I never get the chance anymore. Last time I smoked myself stupid, I almost got called to an emergency council meeting,” Nasch said in between small laughs.

Kellem laughed hard at that statement. “Fuck, I can’t imagine sess making that any easier.”

Both men were content with the laughter that followed that comment. Nasch leaned hard on the banister as laughter shook his body. “God, can you imagine what they’d think if I showed up high?”

Kellem attempted to take the last inhale of the cigarette but choked on the smoke he had just inhaled. He swore out loud before he threw the end of the balcony. “Let’s go inside. It's still too cold out here for me.”

Nasch agreed and picked himself up off of the banister and walked inside with Kellem close behind. He thought that this night was just what he needed. However, he thought wrong.

His best friend stayed in the sitting room for a while before heading out to what would most likely be a dreamless sleep. Sess had the tendency to do that and Nasch particularly enjoyed sleeping deeply for once. But as soon as Kelle left, Nasch was hit with thoughts from the morning. Thoughts he told himself he would never think of again.

Vector. Everything was about him. How his personality flipped once he saw Roca. How he knew that if the man chose to marry, he would most likely be a fantastic father. They started innocently enough but then took a turn. He remembered a glimpse of Vector without clothing as he stood from the bed. How his lean muscles showed from under the skin and how they fit his frame so well. He regretted forcing himself to look away. He was so close to getting just the smallest glimpse of-

“Nasch?”

He jumped from his seat and sat up straight, looking at the open door to see Vector standing there.

“Sorry to scare you. I just wanted to let you know that-...” Vector paused and looked him up and down. It was here Nasch became painfully aware of a building arousal that he was sure that Vector noticed. “Are you high?”

Nasch rubbed his eyes with one hand and inhaled sharply. “Yeah. I um- what is it that you needed?”

“Just wanted to let you know Roca is leaving first thing tomorrow morning with Amaru. She was the translator on the case two days ago.”

“Thank you,” he replied as he crossed his legs at the thigh. He swore at himself in his mind for getting carried away.

Vector turned around as if he were going to walk away but he paused and looked over his shoulder at Nasch with a mischevious smirk. “It’s a shame the Emperor doesn’t have someone at his beck and call to assist him with his troubles.” He chuckled before walking down the hallway.

Nasch returned to his former position, sprawled out on the sofa and let embarrassment and disgust flood him. His face was beat red and hot as he covered his face with both hands and groaned at himself out of frustration.

This was not something that could continue under any circumstance. The Emperor of the Seven United Lands Under Posideon could not continue allowing himself to lust after a man that would most definitely be his downfall.  


	7. Secrets

**** **Winter: Year 3**

 

_ ‘It’s a shame the Emperor doesn’t have someone at his beck and call to assist him with his troubles.’ _

Damn this man, this foreign prince. Damn him and his ability to notice things. There was no way Nasch would be caught and penned as the “hopeless romantic”. It had been close to two months that Vector had stayed in the palace and the Emperor was still struggling to find different living arrangements. He needed him out and quickly. He sat at the desk in his sitting room, despite the celebration of the winter solstice taking place behind him, penning various letters to those who he thought might have the kindness in their hearts to take him in. He had written six so far since the afternoon and had at least three more that he needed to write.

Feelings of love replaced themselves with sheer disgust and resentment. Sure, he was a beautiful man and everyone in the palace adored him but he needed to be gone. He was simply too distracting and Nasch couldn’t afford to be distracted with thoughts of a happy ending for himself. The sexual frustration was something he could deal with easily. He had done so before and many times at that. It was the more romantic thoughts that threatened to strangle him.

He placed his last letter in an envelope to be sealed with wax later on and turned at the call of his name.

“Why don’t you come to join us?” His mother asked from the rocking chair by the hearth.

“I have letters to take care of, mom,” he replied.

“But it's Yule. A time to be with family, you know. It's been forever since I’ve seen my son,” she said.

With a sigh of frustration, Nasch pushed back his chair, stood, and walked over towards the hearth. He sat in front of it, faced the flame and warmed his cold fingers. His sister sat behind him along with Durbe on the sofa, contently chatting about something Nasch didn’t care about. His father sat in an armchair that he had dragged in from another room, and Vector excused himself temporarily to retrieve his sketchbook from his room.

“Where did Nan go?” Nasch asked his mother.

“The bedroom. She got sick of you not interacting and left. She’ll be back soon,” his mother replied. “So what’s going on, Nasch. You seem more stressed than usual.”

“It’s because I am. We uncovered a massive human trafficking ring last month. It stretches from here to Austrania and the southernmost regions of Jenira. It's mostly children being sold for slave labor. No one was expecting it to be this massive.”

Nasch’s mother snickered and muttered something about disgusting people under her breath. She was a beautiful woman, in her mid-forties. Many said that Nasch took after her in mannerisms despite looking more like his father. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, placing her novel in her lap, closed. She sighed. “I still feel like there’s something else wrong, Nasch. Call it “mother’s intuition” if you will.”

There was most definitely something else wrong but it's not like he would speak about it with his mother. It was a matter for him only. It's not like anyone else would have cared to hear about his troubled love life, anyway.

“Nothing else is wrong, mom,” he lied.

“If you say so,” she said, as suspicious mothers tend to do.

“I hate it when you do that. It makes me feel guilty for no reason,” Nasch stated, as annoyed sons tend to do.

“I don’t mean to make you feel guilty, you know that.”

There was a pause before Nasch spoke, asking his mother a question. “What are you reading?”

“A novel that I found under the sofa. Its pretty good,” she paused, opened her eyes and leaned forward. She whispered her next few words. “For a romance novel.”

Nasch’s face flushed with embarrassment and he opted not to ask any further questions. He turned towards the fire again as his mother laughed. 

“I’m halfway through it actually. You’ve got a pretty decent taste in novels of this type.”

“I don’t know how I feel about you reading that knowing that it's mine,” Nasch said without looking at her.

She began to chuckle as she leaned back in the chair again. “I didn’t know it was yours. I assumed it was Merag’s actually buy your face says it all.”

This fact did not help the reddening in his face from embarrassment. Vector returned to the sitting room and Nasch refused to look at him. Since Vector had no one in the Seven Lands, they invited him to celebrate with them. Durbe was here because he had never spoken of a family but Nasch’s parents loved him like a second son. Nasch was sure it was because he had to put up with him on a daily basis, which was a lot to handle.

Recently, Nasch had noticed something about Durbe in that he was spending too much time with Merag for his liking. If there was one thing Nasch cared about in Durbe’s love life, it was getting with his sister. It's not that Durbe was a bad man, per se. However, Nasch knew what the man was capable of very well and had even told him that if he even so much as held her hand, Nasch would kill him. That was an exaggeration, of course. He wouldn’t kill him he’d simply make his life a living hell, which he was extremely capable of.

Vector pulled the chair from the desk over next to the sofa, opened his sketchbook and quietly began drawing. Nasch couldn’t help but feel even more loathing towards the man as he drew whatever was in front of him. Nasch knew from the way he glanced quickly up from the book in his hands and towards the hearth. The scratching of the graphite against the paper annoyed him and suddenly became the loudest thing in the room. Nasch held back the urge to walk over there and smack the book out of his hands like a child.

He hated himself for thinking these things about this man, but it couldn’t be helped. He acknowledged the fact that his thoughts surrounding Vector would damn him and plague his mind for as long as he was in the palace. This led him back to his first thought, Vector needed to leave the palace as soon as possible.

In thinking of the man, he supposed he summoned him next to him on the bricks in front of the hearth. He left his sketchbook on the chair that he vacated and sat cross-legged next to the Emperor. Nasch felt the air around them grow tense and knew it was just in his head. He ignored it and focused his full attention on the crackling of the fire in front of him.

His feelings of admiration had been replaced with resentment and the Emperor was sure that any sort of positive emotion he felt towards the man would never return. He was content with that. At least he had convinced himself that he was. For now, he sat in silence looking straight ahead at the fire and just about anywhere that wasn’t remotely towards his left at Vector.

The Emperor’s mother glanced up and looked at her son. “Oh,” she said. “Nasch I left something for you in my bag and I need your help to go get it.”

Nasch stood and extended a hand to his mother to help her. She rose and together they walked down the hallway and across the palace to the room where she stayed with her husband.

“I’ve noticed something, Nasch and it sort of troubles me.”

Nasch sighed, “If this is about Vector I’m going to turn around.”

“Not directly, Nasch- don’t you dare turn around. You’re never too old to get smacked by your mother,” She said, hand raised. “It’s about you.”

“What about me?” Nasch asked.

“Well, its come to my attention, and your father’s, that you’ve denied every request by the council to take a wife. Is there another reason?”

“Look, mom. I really don’t want to talk about this on a holiday.”

“It’s important, Nasch. You’re my baby boy and I need to know that you’re safe. You might be the Emperor but you’re still undeniably human.”

Nasch scoffed at that.  _ Undeniably human _ . That he was. He was a man with emotions that he couldn’t properly place or control. He wouldn’t dare to quell them on account that they would just return full force with vengeance. Emotions had the tendency to do so. He thought about telling his mother the truth, that he simply wasn’t interested in women among other things. She wouldn’t care about that, she told him before. However, if a word would ever get back to his father it would be a nightmare.

A white lie was better than nothing, he assumed. “Mom, they tried to give Merag to me, then Cherry, then another really young priestess. I can’t do that to any of them.”

“Do what?” she asked as they turned to the stairs in the grand foyer.

“Force them into marriage. Especially Merag, it's disgusting. Not to mention the celibacy to the priesthood, she’d have to resign and be disgraced from most religious events if she married me or anyone for that matter.”

“That might be true, Nasch but I feel that there’s something else,” she said. “Something that you’re not leaving out.”

They were halfway up the marble stairs when Nasch stopped and hung his head low. She already knew and there was no sense in hiding it from her any longer. She turned around and looked at him. 

“Nasch? Are you alright?”

“I’m uh-” He chuckled under the pressure. He was shaking, nervous as any man who harbored a secret should be. This one just threatened to damage his reputation. He exhaled sharply when she walked a few steps back down to be closer to him. “Mom. I’m not even remotely interested in women. In a romantic sense that is.”

“Oh, Nasch.” She wrapped her arms around him tightly. “I always knew, my boy. I always did. I still love you the same. I always will.”

Her words of acceptance and comfort were no match for the tears that fell from his eyes for some reason. He held her back as he cried into her shoulder like a child that had just done something bad. In truth, he had although it wasn’t his choice. No one actively chooses a popularity damning trait, especially an Emperor.

Eventually, his mother released him and handed him a handkerchief from her pocket. He dried his eyes with it and laughed a bit before putting it into his own pocket to clean and return later on. “Just, don’t let dad find out. I’d hate to see what happens if he does.”

“I won’t, I promise,” she said softly.

They finished walking up the stairs into the room that became her own in the palace when she came to visit. She pulled her suitcase up from under the bed frame and opened it, rummaging through various nicknacks and shoes that she brought everywhere. Once she found the item wrapped in paper and held together neatly with twine, she held it behind her back. She faced her son with an obnoxious grin on her face.

“So,” she began. “Your father and I went to Eastport to have something restored for you. It was supposed to be a wedding gift for you when the time came but I begged him to give it to you sooner. We could find better items as wedding gifts, anyway. It took a lot of convincing but here.”

She handed the item to Nasch. Together they sat next to each other on the bed as he carefully pulled at the twine tied in a bow, releasing it and allowing him to unfold the wrappings. He was met with a wooden box. He laughed at the sight.

“Thanks, mom, a box. Much appreciated,” he said sarcastically. 

“Oh, it's in the damn box, Nasch.” She hit him hard on the shoulder. “Don’t be such a pain.”

Nasch flipped open the clasp in the front and slowly opened it, inside were various items that seemed foreign to him but as soon as he picked up one of them, a ring, he instantly knew what these were.

“I thought we buried pops with these. You kept them?” Nasch said without taking his eyes off of the box in his lap.

“He’s dead, he wasn’t gonna need much besides payment for the ferryman.”

Nasch took the items out of the box one by one, carefully placing them on the bed. His wedding ring, a leather wallet, a hand-carved ivory pipe with spectacular details of ships carved into the sides and last but not least, two knives.

“Shit, his athame,” Nasch said. “I broke this when I dropped it off of the mantle years ago.”

“That is what we had restored and fixed. We weren’t sure if they’d be able to but I think it turned out fantastic. The other knife was his hunting knife. I don’t know if you have time for trapping anymore but I figured you could put it to good use.”

Nasch placed the box next to him, careful not to knock it off of the bed as he turned to his mother and wrapped his arms around her. “You have no idea how much this means to me, mom. Thank you so much.”

“I know how much you miss him, Nasch. Even though its been years since he died, I do too. When pops married my mom he quickly became the father I never had. Even though we aren’t related in the slightest bit, I see him in you.”

“That’s a massive compliment, mom. That man was a legend.”

“He was the one who held you after you were born and said something along the lines of “this one is going to change the world”. I still believe that, Nasch. You have already changed the world and you will continue to do so, regardless of whether you marry a man or a woman. You are my son and I will always love you.”

“Mom, you’re going to make me cry again.”

“Well, I gave you my handkerchief so you might as well.” They sat there for a while as Nasch took the items as if they were relics about to shatter and placed them carefully back in the box. He had fond memories of his grandfather from when he was younger. Pops was the one who took him on his first hunt and taught him how to survive off of the land for weeks on end. The rocking chair that sat by the hearth in Nasch’s room was his. It felt right to keep it by the hearth as that’s where pops would sit for hours. He told stories and cooked meals while sat in that chair. He gave Nasch advice that any child would think dumb and useless but now that he was older, he lived by it.

Pops was the best man who ever walked the Earth. He took what he had and made do. He married a woman with a bastard child and loved both of them as if they were always his own. Pops died shortly after Nasch was hurt in the revolt and he always believed that pops sacrificed his soul to give his grandson the strength he needed to heal. Nasch tried his best to tell the stories of his grandfather and keep them alive, keep his legacy strong.

“Madelia! Is that you?”

“Hurry up Nasch. She doesn’t know I had pops’ wedding band,” She whispered. “Yes, momma. In here.”

Nasch’s nan walked in the room in her nightgown and robe. She was a feisty old woman well into her eighties but had the energy and fire of someone much younger. She walked into the room and her face lit up at the sight of Nasch, her only grandson.

“Oh, Nasch. I didn’t think you’d ever leave your desk tonight,” the old woman said.

“Well, I did and now I’m here.” He put the box in his mother’s hands and rose to hug his grandmother. “You didn’t come up to see me, nan. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine. Just way too old for that staircase. If I go back up there, I’ll never come back down,” she replied.

“I’ll carry you down if I have to. Grab your suitcase, you’re staying in the royal rooms tonight. They’re much better than down here,” He told her. 

Nasch’s nan was one of the best women in the world. She endured many hardships during her long life. However, she never let it turn her bitter. She was slightly shorter than her grandson but walked with her back hunched over the wooden walking cane she now needed to use for stability in her old age. Her hair still had a bit of its original purple tint but it was largely silver now, giving her a wise and knowledgeable look. Nan was the matriarch of the family and what she said was the ultimatum. That was a key difference between Pelia and many of the other former kingdoms. Pelie was liberal and matrilineal, following the mother’s side of the family. In some cases, the men marrying into the families even took their wife’s last name.

Nasch adored his nan and thought about her often. When she came up in conversation, he couldn’t help but smile and tell a story or two about her. 

“You’re sure you have room for me up there?” Nan asked. “I’d hate to be a burden.”

Nasch extended his arm for her and took the walking cane from her hand, carrying it under his arm. “Absolutely. You could never be a burden, nan. You’re family. Mom and dad just choose to stay over here for some reason.”

Nan put her head on his shoulder as she chuckled at him. “If you say so, Nasch.”

He walked his nan to the room that was lent to her so she could hobble about and gather the items that she brought. Two suitcases full of clothes, Nasch held the heavier one in his left, took Nan on his right and she held the lighter, smaller bag. Slowly he walked her through the vacant halls of the palace and to the spiral staircase. She looked up at it and although she would never admit, she was intimidated by it. They took their time up the stairs, taking them one at a time until the reached the top. There, they paused to let her catch her breath before continuing down to the end of the hallway to the sitting room where Kellem had taken up the space that Nasch vacated. When the woman entered the room with her grandson, he stood and walked over to greet her. 

“Nan, how have ya been?” he asked her before kissing her on the cheek.

“Oh you know, the usual. Getting older with every step we take. Help me over to the rocking chair would you?”

“Of course.” Kellem walked her over and sat her down on the rocking chair that belonged to her husband once and she sat back, closing her eyes.

Nasch opened the spare bedroom connected to his sitting room and placed her things in there, making sure the surfaces were properly dusted and cleaned to her satisfaction before she would get up and walk in. Since he constantly maintained this room, there wasn’t anything that needed to be done so he walked back out and sat at her feet on the brocks of the hearth.

“So how have you been, Nasch? Good, I hope.”

“Verry well, nan. I’m happy you’re here.”

“Well, you weren’t too happy when you were drowning yourself in work.”

“Ahh, Nan it never stops.”

“Not even for family?”

“I’ll have work to do on the day of my funeral.”

That was true. Even in the midst of winter when the entirety of his nation was blanketed in ice and snow, Nasch still found something that he had to take care of. Like today with the letters trying to rid himself of the Ausrtnian prince who had gotten his sketchbook and was dragging the graphite along the paper. It made the most god-awful scratching noise but Nasch still couldn’t bring himself to tell him to knock it off. 

Nasch’s mother entered the room with the box that her son practically threw at her and left it on the side table before bidding everyone good night. Nasch’s father followed soon after, hugging Merag and waving to Nasch on the way out. Nan was next, she rose slowly from the chair that she had Nasch keep steady. She walked with her cane slowly into the room with her things and made a noise at how beautiful it was before closing and locking the door behind her. 

This left Nasch, Kellem, Merag, Durbe, and Vector in the sitting room. The five of them sat in silence for a long while before Merag produced a bottle of some sort of ale and Kellem began rolling a left-handed cigarette for himself and Nasch. All in all, this had the set up to be a fantastic end to the night. When Nasch and Kellem had returned successfully warding away the remains of their sobriety the three that chose the ale had been sitting on the sofa quietly giggling to themselves about something or other.

Nasch opened the doors to his bedroom and ushered them inside lest they wake the fierce old woman next door. He lit the hearth in his bedroom quickly, throwing logs on it in a haphazard manner but careful to not smother the spark. Nasch sat on the edge of his bed wrapped in one of his numerous blankets and hanging his legs over the edge of the bed. Kellem sat at his feet, leaning his back up against the short footboard. Merag sat next to her brother and Durbe sat with Vector close to the fire. 

The five of them were content with the lack of sobriety in the room. Nasch and Kellem chatted happily about sailing and memories that they had while the Durbe and Vector talked about something related to life in the palace and Merag had curled up on the foot of the bed peacefully and extremely drunk. Every now and then Nasch would hit her lightly to make sure she was still alert. It had been a while since she had the time to fade from sobriety and he was worried that she might have drunk too much. He didn’t see just how much she drank.

“Durbe, she alright?” Kellem asked eventually.

“Should be. She didn’t drink that much,” he replied. “Not as much as she usually does anyway.

“Merag,” Nasch said sternly.

At the call of her name, the Almighty High priestess turned over, facing her brother. “I’m fine, Nasch,” she said with slurred speech. She hit him weakly in the side. “It’s just been a while.”

Nasch laid back on his bed, putting his hands behind his head. “Remind me to not take you to Scratches for a while until you get your tolerance back up then. I don’t need you dying on me while we’re not where we should be.”

“So if I die in the palace?”

“I can blame your irresponsibility,” he continued. “Who's carrying her to her bedroom? I’m not moving.”

Durbe stood and brushed the little bit of ash off of his trousers. “I’ll do it. It's not like I haven’t before.”

Nasch wanted to protest this idea but he kept quiet instead. Kellem stood also and stated that he’d make sure there would be no fraternizing on the way. It was said as a jest but Nasch knew he was serious. Kellem knew how he felt about Durbe getting too close to Merag. Durbe picked Merag up and pulled her arm over his shoulder, walking with her. Out of the door with Kellem close behind.

Nasch wanted to tell Vector to leave but he also stayed quiet about that. What he didn’t stay quiet about was when Vector curled up on the bed next to Nasch, facing him. “You know, I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” the prince said.

“No,” came Nasch’s simple reply. He chuckled after he said it due to the sess in his system which made it less sincere. This only made Vector continue speaking.

“Have you been avoiding me?” Vector asked.

Nasch stayed silent for a bit, weighing his options of this and that before coming up with something to say. He just hadn’t planned on saying something that he didn’t think about. “Yeah,” He said quietly. “I’m- I don’t know… embarrassed, I guess.”

As soon as the words left him, he regret them. It infected his mind like a plague and turned his face red with embarrassment.

“Is this about that night a few weeks ago when Roca was here?”

Now that it was out there, he had no reason to lie. “Not completely.”

“Oh.”

Vector sat up and pulled his legs close to him, hugging them tightly. Nasch felt only disgust and shame coursing through his veins. Vector did nothing wrong save for walking in at the wrong time. It's not like he was caught with his pants down, was he?

No, he wasn’t. 

There was no reason for these emotions. Before he had the chance to sat something else, Vector’s head was on his chest surely listening to the pounding of his heart.

“I don’t care about that, you know. I just wanted to tell you that Roca was leaving.”

“And I heard that but that doesn’t change anything, really.” Nasch felt the urge to push Vector off of his chest and onto his back.

His lewd thoughts were returning at just the wrong time. This time though, they were different than before. They were less romantic and purely sexual in nature. Driven by lust, these thoughts became the forefront of his thoughts in the silence that fell on them. Vector sat up and looked at the Emperor carefully examining his expression. Nasch prayed that his glance didn’t fall somewhere else, which it didn’t.

Before Nasch could think of something else to say to fill the silence, Vector’s lips were on his own. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Vector on him, needing him in one of the most sensual ways. Nasch kissed him back with vigor, nipping at his bottom lip lightly and caring to not draw blood or leave a mark in any way, shape, or form. Nasch closed his eyes and fell into the kiss before pushing Vector away suddenly with enough force to knock the air out of his own lungs.

“We can’t,” was all that Nasch managed to say as he sat up, panting.

“Who says? It's just a harmless little kiss.” Vector moved back in close, leaning his weight on one arm which was placed on the other side of Nasch’s thighs. His half-lidded eyes said that he wanted more than just kisses and Nasch wasn’t sure if he was prepared to give anything else.

“This can’t happen. We will never become anything.”

“So you tell me that every time you’ve been in been in bed with someone, you’ve intended to maintain a relationship?” Vector placed a hand on the Emperor’s chest lightly, taking the time to feel the muscles under his shirt and tracing light circles with his thumb while doing so.

“No,” Nasch replied.

Vector shifted his weight and sat right in Nasch’s lap. He wrapped his arms around Nasch’s neck, resting his forearms on his shoulders and interlaced his fingers lightly. “Well then, Emperor,” Vector said. “Will you take me for the night?”

Nasch never gave a reply with words. Instead, he let his mind take over. He wrapped his arms around Vector’s waist and pulled him chest to chest. He looked up lightly at him before he was captured in a frenzy of kisses. Vector tangled his hands absentmindedly in his hair, holding firm but not too tight. He pulled him in closer and broke the kisses only to trail them down his jaw, pausing and taking extra care when he heard Nasch gasp at the spot where his jaw connected to his neck.

He kissed and nipped at the skin there, leaving the area reddened and worried. It wasn’t enough to leave a mark though. It was just enough to taste and tease the man whose lap he was in. He moaned somewhat loudly when he felt Nasch’s hands begin to wander slightly close to the waist of Vector’s trousers. He rid himself of his belt and it fell with a clink when the buckle hit the wooden floor.

This was not what Nasch wanted. It was what he needed. Just one night to release his urges. He tried to convince himself that one night of indulging himself wouldn’t be bad. That after this, any and all feeling that he harbored towards the man, who currently let his hands wander up the Emperor’s shirt, would be gone. His hands were cold against his burning skin and they made him shiver. God, this was just what he needed.

Without warning, Nasch pushed Vector onto his back. For just one night, the prince was his and only his. All fantasies of a blossoming romance were thrown away and replaced with a much darker form of lust. Nasch pounced, attacking Vector’s neck with kisses and leaving marks as he trailed his mouth down farther leaving a particularly satisfactory bruise right where neck met shoulder. Vector moaned softly in response and only gripped Nasch’s hair tighter, pulling him farther down. Vector pushed Nasch away temporarily so he could remove his rather large knitted sweater and toss it somewhere to be retrieved at a later time.

He bucked his hips slightly, begging wordlessly for more friction in other areas. Nasch would get there eventually. For now, he explored the man with his mouth, allowing himself to leave bright marks as he traveled further down to Vector’s hips. He paused here, choosing to work with his hands for the time being. In one swift movement, his trousers were gone and the prince was lying prone below him.

His thoughts were no longer coherent, with the sess being mostly at fault. Nasch took this time to decorate the man’s hips with even more love bites, carefully avoiding the man’s obvious arousal in front of him. He took his time, delighting in the quieted moans that he pulled out of the prince.

He was just about to pay attention to other things when he heard footsteps in his sitting room. Nasch rose from his bed quickly and practically ran to the door, checking to see who it was. Thankfully, it was only Kellem, looking for his hat that he had left there. Nasch bid him goodnight and shut the door to his bedroom, making sure to lock it before returning to the prince who had barely shifted from his former position.

“Now,” he said. “Where was I?”


	8. Regrets

**Winter: Year 3**

 

Nasch woke the next morning to the prince curled up at his side. The large bed dipped down slightly in the middle, pulling whoever to the center. Vector slept peacefully under the heavy blankets, snoring softly. If Nasch hadn’t been so disgusted with himself about his actions the previous night, he would have kissed the man softly on the forehead in admiration. Instead, he rose from the bed and dressed, for the morning services. While he was there, he also collected his clothes from the night before and placed them back in his closet where they belonged. He took Vector’s too. Folding them neatly and placing them on the side table where he would most definitely see them.

The prince didn’t even stir from his slumber when Nasch closed the door to his closet a little too hard. He didn’t move when Nasch unlocked his bedroom door and closed it behind him. The morning services would be long this morning as he attempted to pray his sins of the previous night away. This was not something he did often, however, as he walked down the hall he felt explicitly dirty. As if he needed to bathe himself right away to erase his disgusting actions. He felt as if he were covered in grime with no way to cleanse himself. Today would be an interesting day, he knew that.

As he walked into the sacristy Merag sat at her desk which she did not do often before the services. Nasch walked over towards her and placed a hand on her back. “How’s the hangover treating you?” He asked.

“Fucking awful, Nasch,” she replied as she leaned back in her chair, covering her face with her chilled hands. “God, I-”

She paused and Nasch feared the words that came next.

“I’m so embarrassed that I was that drunk,” she chuckled.

He felt relief wash through him. There was a high possibility she was having affairs with Durbe but at least she didn’t admit to them. One of the major benefits of sess was that there was no hangover, just a strong sense of relaxation the next day which Nasch certainly needed. ‘At least you didn’t wake up next the man you’re trying to avoid.”

“How did you hold up last night after I got carried out of your room?”

“Fine, I suppose. Went to sleep after. Kellem scared the shit out of me, came in for his hat.” Nasch leaned on her desk, hoping that she didn’t detect the lie which she often did. “Are mom and dad coming down this morning?”

“Dad’s already in the chapel. I’m not too sure about mom. Cherry is saying the service. I don’t think I can take it.”

“That bad?” Nasch asked.

“I’ve gotten sick twice already. Thank the gods I have nothing important to do today.”

It wasn’t often that Merag became hung over, especially not after a few drinks. This was odd and raised a red flag which he would confront Kellem about later on after he finished and sent the letters he was supposed to complete the day before. One fact remained, and that was Vector needed to leave the palace. He was dangerously distracting and Nasch couldn’t afford to be distracted.

“I have two letters to send, finishing up things and tying loose ends,” Nasch said before remembering something else that was on his list. “Fuck, I have a council meeting. I have to see if I can move that to the morning. I will not put up with it after the sun sets.”

Nasch walked into the chapel to look for his father. He walked towards him when he saw him and sat next to him. “Morning dad.”

“Good morning, Nasch. Sleep well?” the man asked.

“Fine. you?”

“All right, I guess. I never sleep well here. Too big of a place for me.”

The services dragged on as Nasch knew they would and he was the first to leave without a word. He walked up the stairs and right into his sitting room to retrieve the stack of letters he had been working on. This was the first thing on his task list. Then, he would see about moving the council meeting. He figured that the men on his council would appreciate being finished with their work early. He drafted seven quick notes to give to a page boy to place on the desks of the seven men.

Right before he went back to his letters his father opened the door to his study, accidentally breaking off the doorknob in one quick snap. Nasch took off his spectacles and looked up at the man who chuckled at the brass in his hand. “Sometimes I forget my own strength,” he said as he placed the item on Nasch’s desk and took a seat.

“How did you manage that?” Nasch couldn’t help pick up the doorknob and laugh at the item. It wasn’t the broken part of the mechanism thank god but he would have to get someone to fix that, eventually. He placed the knob in his top drawer before turning his attention to his father.

“I came in to ask if you’d let me either sit in on the council meeting or run it. I’ll give you my notes.”

For some odd reason, Nasch’s father loved council meetings. Nasch never knew why and never asked him. He guessed that since they were the same men that built the nation, his father had catching up to do with them.

“You can absolutely take my place in the meeting,” Nasch replied. “And I get the transcripts from Damien. There’s no need to give me notes.”

“You seem a little ready to replace yourself in those meetings. Should I be worried?”

“I just find them counterproductive, dad.”

Nasch’s father nodded in agreement and rose from his seat. He thanked his son before leaving him alone in his study. His father wasn’t a man of many words. Nasch never remembered the man speaking proudly of him. He was an odd man. One would think given the opportunity to become Emperor, one would take it. Nasch’s father though turned it down, choosing his son to become the first Emperor when the Nations were ready to finally merge into one. For some odd reason, the council allowed it. Nasch would never completely understand the mechanisms of his mind and he never wanted to. It was simply too complicated of a task to undertake.

Nasch finished the letters and sealed them with green wax and his family crest. He placed them aside to send out as soon as he found someone to give them too. He sat back in his chair and dug around the numerous papers and files on his desk making sure that he had nothing else to complete. Whatever he found, he finished to the best of his ability before heading back up to his rooms for the foreseeable future.

As he opened the door to his bedroom, he was met with Vector who had just finished dressing. They didn’t make eye contact and didn’t speak. Vector simply collected himself and left with no word. Nasch’s blood boiled. He invited this man into his bed, the least he could do was to say something to him, anything. Nasch prayed that at least one letter he sent would reach someone soon that their response was a resounding “yes”.

Vector needed to leave and what he had just done sealed the deal. He would confront him later on about it though. If he was kicking the man out of the palace, he needed to be warned about it beforehand. He decided that was a task for later though. For now, he stripped himself of his fancy clothing and donned on a simple blouse and a vest with a pair of riding leggings. He pulled his grey cardigan on before heading out into Kellem’s room. He didn’t bother to knock, he never did.

He walked into Kellem’s room and sat on the desk he was at, sorting docking records and supply inventories. It was standard procedure for the end of the season. He looked up at the Emperor and put the papers down. “Ya comin’ in for these? They ain’t ready yet, Nasch. You’ll have to wait”

“No. We’re going to Scratch’s tonight. Just you and I. I need to drink myself into a stupor and I need someone I can trust to carry me back to the palace.”

“Fuck, what happened last night?” Kellem asked him, looking at him quizzically. “You were fine yesterday.”

Nasch glanced at the door, ensuring that it was closed before he gossiped about the man in the room next door. “Fucking Vector.”

“What ‘bout him?” Kellem leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

“After you all left, he stayed. Things… escalated pretty quickly after that.”

Kellem punched him in the arm, stood and cheered. He sat back down when he noticed Nasch’s stern expression. “Not good? I thought you wanted him.”

“Kellem, I feel so disgusted with myself. I went back into my rooms because I have nothing left to do for today and he just fuckin’ gets up and leaves without a word! He couldn’t even look at me.” Nasch now stood in front of Kellem, frustrated as anything and red-faced in anger.

“Jeez, Nasch. That blows. But now I know something you might not have even realized.” Kellem was a smart man. Nothing got past him.

“Humor me,” Nasch said.

“There was some semblance of feeling there. Whether it be one-sided or not. There’s something there,” Kellem replied.

“I could have told you that. The man is fucking beautiful. He’s sweet and you should see the way he interacts with children. Its fucking adorable. I knew something would happen the night of my coronation I-”

Kellem stood and put his hands on the Emperor’s shoulders. “God, you’ve been hit hard there, Nasch.”

“Not any-fucking-more. He needs to get out of the palace now.”

“Those the letters you were workin’ on yesterday?”

“They’re sealed and on their way to the proper destinations as we speak.”

Kellem sighed as he sat back down in the chair. “I don’t know where you’re gonna find somewhere for him in the middle of winter. It’s a fucking blizzard outside, and it’s only gonna get worse.”

“He wasn’t supposed to get here till spring but he said, and I quote, “Something happened, they threatened my life, and I had to leave sooner than expected.” God, Kellem. Even in think about him, I feel like I rolled in mud.” Nasch shivered to rid himself of the dirty feeling to no avail. He was getting flustered but since it was just him and Kellem in the room, he let himself since it was just Kellem, the only man with whom he trusted his life.

“Do you know what happened?” It was times like these where Kellem could be Nasch’s voice of reason. It didn’t happen very often though as the man was normally busy drowning both in bad ideas.

“No fucking clue.”

“I assume the worst to be honest. Look at it this way. His father is fucking insane. He’s killed anyone who’s gotten in front of him and will not hesitate to do so. I’m thinking he said something, pissed him off, and almost died. Now I’ve got no fucking clue what the man is capable of himself but what if he sent someone to do it for him?”

“Vector is an only child. If he’s smart, he wouldn’t plan to kill off his heir just because he got mad at him,” Nasch said, voice lowering slowly and anger leaving him. It would take over one conversation to make this disgust leave him. At least this took the edge off of it.

“My advice, and I know you’re not gonna like it, is to go talk to him. Fuck, talking to people would have solved so many of my issues. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Nasch.” Kellem looked away as he spoke and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Sorry, that got a little too real there.”

Kellem was speaking about his family whom he hadn’t spoken to in years. When he made the choice to become a sailor and travel the word instead of taking over the family business, they disowned him. Kellem no longer had a last name or a family of blood. He hadn’t either since he was ten. What he had though, was a family of heart. The chosen people whom he made his family. His brother, Nasch. His cousins, the crew of the Imperial whom he grew up within the Gap. Kellem wasn’t one to be emotional. However, the fact he didn’t and couldn’t have a mother and a father weighed heavily on him occasionally. He was just a boy when they kicked him out.

“I’m sorry for being the one to bring this shit up, Kell,” Nasch whispered. He wrapped an arm around his best friend and brought him close. “You always have a family here and you know that.”

“Aye. It’s not the same but it’ll have to do,” Kellem said as he brought his brother into an embrace.

Nasch pulled away and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “I’m going back to my bedroom for a while. Let me know when you want to leave.”

“I’m going to finish this and put it on your desk. Is it unlocked?”

“For a while, I’m afraid. Might be best to just hand it to me unless you want it to go missing. Dad broke the damn doorknob,” Nasch chuckled.

“God, that man. How are you even related to him?” Kellem asked with a laugh.

“No idea," Nasch replied

Nasch exited the room, closing the door behind him. He debated heavily on heeding Kellem’s advice and going in to speak to Vector. He still had a few more rooms to pass until he reached Vector’s so he had time to debate with himself as he walked. He slowed his pace as he thought to himself and weighed his options. He would have to tell him about the letters, eventually. He would start with that and only talk about the previous night if he was asked about it.

He had a plan and though he did, he still didn’t want to speak to the man. He wanted to avoid it like a child and use the stress of being the Emperor as his reason. That was definitely not the right thing to do, but it was still an option.

He paused outside of the closed door to the Prince’s room, disgust and anger filled him again. Despite this, he turned towards it and knocked hard. Much to his relief, there was no answer from inside the room. Nasch sighed and turned back to continue down the hallway. However, as soon as he walked a few paces, he heard the door open behind him.

“Nasch?” Vector said from behind him.

Nasch swore at himself in his mind before turning around. He could hide his emotions extremely well and he would have to use this skill temporarily as he told Vector about the letters. “I’ve wanted to speak to you,” he said.

Vector opened the door fully, stepping aside to invite Nasch in. “Ah. About last night?”

“Well, yes and no,” Nasch replied as he stepped into the room.

Vector closed the door behind him and walked over to the fireplace to stoke the fire and heat up the room even more. He then sat on a cushion that he dragged over by the hearth, motioning for the Emperor to take a seat on the other.

“So, I sent out more letters this morning. I hope to have responses from the people within two weeks seeing if they’ll take you in,” Nasch said.

“Oh. That’s good. It’s dull around here not being able to do anything,” he chuckled but there was something behind it that made Nasch think that he wasn’t too enthused.

“There’s no guarantee that anyone will be able to in the dead of winter though. So you might be stuck here for a while longer until the ice thaws in the spring.” Nasch yet again looked anywhere that wasn’t the man in front of him. He looked to the fire burning fierce besides him. He looked to the stained glass balcony doors and at the snow that had blown into the small room. He looked past that at the snow that was falling outside fiercely and thought be might have to cancel his plans for tonight.

There was a silence that fell between them and it was awkward and tense. Nasch hated it but he said all that he had to. He waited for Vector to think of something to fill the silence before the Emperor found a good excuse to leave like a coward. Vector sighed and Nasch instinctively looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “That I couldn’t perform um-... up to standards last night. The alcohol had more of an effect on me than I thought it would.”

Nasch buzzed with anger for no reason in particular. This only frustrated him more “Why didn’t you say anything a few moments ago before you walked out of my room?”

“I was just embarrassed I suppose. I mean I was the one that made the first advance towards you and then we had to stop because I couldn’t “keep it up”,” Vector chuckled nervously before continuing his statement. “God, I woke up this morning in your bed without you and I wanted to die of embarrassment. Then you came in and I had no idea what to or what I should say.”

Nasch looked up at Vector. His face was bright red with embarrassment as he looked at his folded hands in his lap. He wore the same sweater as yesterday but with grey leggings instead of black ones. It was cleaner that way. They might not have had sex to completion, but they still went far. Nasch cursed at himself for thinking about that again. It was what he wanted for over two months and once he got it; he was disappointed.

Not in the act itself but from himself not being able to quell his urges until he was sober until they could consent to the act.

“I don’t regret last night, Nasch,” he said.

“Neither do I. I’m just disappointed in myself. To be honest, I’m disgusted with myself and have been. I don’t believe feeling will go away,” Nasch said.

“Is that why you sent the letters? Am I the reason for your disgust, Nasch? You think by getting rid of me, your self-hatred will disappear, don’t you?” Vector’s voice became more hostile. Venom had the potential to lace his words and Nasch was not ready for an argument. If there was one though, he would be sure to win.

His next answer would either start a fight or quell one. If he was kicking Vector out of the palace, he had nothing to lose aside from future political relations. It’s not like anyone would willingly strike a deal with a nation as poor an unstable as Austrania, anyway.

“It started that night a month ago and after last night it’s gotten worse.” Life in the palace was horrifically routine anyway, a nasty fight would break that for sure. Nasch stood and walked towards the door. “So yes, I assume that it’s you.”

Vector stood and walked towards him. “The fuck did I do aside from accepting the invitation to take up asylum here that you offered me?”

“First off, you denied it. Then two years later I get a letter from you claiming your life is in danger and you need to leave Cusco. Next, you show up four months early without a proper warning. Then finally last night sealed the deal. You’re leaving my palace, that’s final.” Nasch was aware of the venom that laced his tone. He was aware his words would hurt the man in front of him but he didn’t care.

The reaction he received from Vector was not one he expected. Vector grabbed his arm with force. Nasch didn’t know what to do, so he turned around to look at him. Vector hung his head low and a devious smirk spread across his face as he looked up and laughed in Nasch’s face.

“You have no fucking clue what I’ve been through. What I’ve had done by the people I’ve trusted the most.” He released Nasch’s arm and pulled his hands into tight fists. Knuckles turned white and nails bit into the skin of his palm. “I’ve been beaten and choked to unconsciousness. I’ve had attempts made on my life and yet I still had to live in the palace lest I be disgraced and exiled from the nation. My father can’t be trusted.”

Nasch turned and pressed his back to the door, grabbing a hold of the doorknob as he spoke. “And it seems that you can‘t be either. You are moving to a different part of the palace tonight. You are a danger to myself and my family.”

With that Nasch turned and left. He practically ran down the hallway and into his bedroom, locking the door tightly behind him and checking it three times before he sat on the edge of his bed. He was shaking something fierce as he rested his elbows on his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair tightly. That was not expected. None of this was expected. At least the fight was quick and just enough to prove to the Emperor he was no good for him. He was just like the mad King of Austrania and would do anything to get what he wanted to succeed. Even if it meant he slept with the Emperor himself and toyed with his emotions. Emotions that the Emperor himself wasn’t sure of.

Despite the negative emotions, he felt for the man, he couldn’t help feel slightly heartbroken at what just happened. The night he celebrated the harvest festival with the man rang fresh in his mind. Just how beautiful Vector was in the candlelight and how it made him look like a spirit, an angel of some sort. He remembered the first night they reconnected after years of countless letters.

The letters.

Nasch kept every one in a box under his bed. He thought it might be important but now, he would never need to see it again. Nasch pulled the box out from under his bed and held it in his lap. He read every one Going through them meticulously with a fine-tooth comb. He noted every sentence and word. How they seemed overly friendly and fine until the most recent two. One was Vector stating that he would be in the Seven Lands in the spring and the other-

It was short and written quickly. Nasch never bothered to read it as Vector was already in the palace and safe. Now he found his heart breaking as he read the messy script.

_‘Nasch,_

_My dear friend. I’m afraid that I am no longer safe in Cusco or Austrania for that matter. I hope that this letter reaches you before I do. I am leaving the palace here in two days' time. I hope I am able to get away before something else happens. I have two of my most trusted cousins in my room with me until I leave._

_-Vector’_

Nasch fought the urge to crumple the page and throw it against the wall across from him. He instead folded it gingerly and placed it among the mess of letters that now decorated his bed. This futile attempt at pit would not break him. He gathered the papers and the box in his hands and walked towards his sitting room where he knew there was a fire blazing. He didn’t care if anyone gathered in the room he needed to rid himself of these vile messages that had ruined his last two years. They constantly dominated his thoughts but after the flames reduced them to ash, they would no longer exist.

He unlocked the door and walked over to the fire in a hurry, not noticing the four others gathered in the room. He threw the contents in his arms into the fire and watched as they burned. Relief flooded his body as he kicked the last paper in. He took his exit with all four others in the room watching him in shock, their mouths agape. No sounds left them as the Emperor slammed his bedroom door and locked himself inside again.  

Durbe spoke first. “What in God’s name was that about,” he whispered to the other three.

“I have an idea but I don’t know the full story,” Kellem added.

Silently Vector rose from his seat and bravely walked towards Nasch’s bedroom door. He hesitated, his hand in a closed fist hovering for a few moments before he knocked on the door hard. There was no answer, so he knocked again. His heart pounded in his ears as he tried a third time, even harder than before.

“Nasch. Let me fix this,” he called from outside.

There was still no answer.

“Fine. Fucking be that way, bastard. At least I can say I tried.” Vector left the sitting room entirely and retreated to his room with a frustrated huff.

“Ah fuck. This ain’t good,” Kellem said after watching the scene unfold.

“Kellem, tell me what happened,” Merag said.

“Not my story to tell, Merag. And I wouldn’t go around asking Nasch about it,” Kellem replied. He rose from his seat and was the next person to knock on the door. “Fuckin’ open the door. It’s me”

He heard the lock click open and walked inside. He found Nasch seated on the floor with his legs hugged tightly to his chest, his back up against the door. He was a mess, his hair was tousled, and he was breathing heavily. Kellem had seen Nasch like this a handful of times before but wasn’t sure what to do so he knelt down next to him and placed a hand on his back. Nasch swatted it away and only breathed faster. If Kellem tried to stand him up, he was sure that Nasch would collapse. So he stayed there on the floor with Nasch, careful not to touch him but staying close.

“I’m here, Nasch,” he said. “I’ll be here until you’re ready.”

Kellem rose from the floor and took an extra blanket off of the Emperor’s bed. He draped it around his shoulders hoping the trembling from Nasch was because of the chill in the room. He lit the fireplace in the room while he was up and somehow convinced the mess of his best friend to sit in front, helping him along the way.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you like this, Nasch,” Kellem said after the man had calmed down some.

Nasch let out a weak chuckle in response. He pulled the blanket around his shoulders tighter and spread it over his legs which were still pressed tightly to his chest. “It’s been a while since it’s gotten that bad. I mean. It’s always awful.”

“What’s it like?”

“What?”

“Those ‘episodes’ I guess we could call them.”

“They’re different every time. They all start the same though. It happens right after I get so frustrated that I can’t breathe. Then I quite literally can’t. I never feel enough air fill my lungs when I panic like that.”

“So you feel like you’re drowning.”

Nasch laughed weakly. “Drowning would be better than whatever the fuck those are.”

“So I will take a guess and say we will not go to Scratch’s tonight,” Kellem said.

“That might be best,” Nasch replied with a sniffle.

It fell quiet as the two men focused on the flame in front of them. Merag knocked softly on the bedroom door and let herself in with two bowls of stew in her hands. She handed one to each of them and sat in between the two friends. She leaned her head on her brother’s shoulder in comfort. He thanked her and attempted to eat slowly with trembling hands. Merag didn’t ask any questions, she enjoyed the calm.

Nasch was the type of man who would work himself to death if given the opportunity. Unfortunately, some things would stop him from time to time and physically prevent him from his duties. He was one of the lucky ones, his close friends and family understood. These “episodes” of panic weren’t a frequent thing, but they did happen from time to time. Normally he was alone and would sit for hours trying to calm down to no avail. He looked up at Kellem and smiled.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?” Kellem asked.

“Being here, I suppose,” Nasch said as he brought the spoon to his lips.

“I just think of it as being in the right place at the right time. I’m glad you’re here Nasch and still breathing at that.”

Nasch’s struggles with sanity and stability were no secret to those he was close to. There were times when he could not continue. These times lasted weeks, months even, and they were painfully clear in every move he made. It wasn’t that he changed per se but had this aura about him which alerted others and told them to take caution when dealing with him. Nasch hated this special treatment but he knew it was for the best. At least no important political figures found out about this as Nasch feared he would be seen as a coward for feeling these things, for feelings and emotions.

Nasch was one of the few men he knew who wasn’t afraid to show emotions. He didn’t understand why either. Emotions were human. Even the gods and the demigods had them, Nasch knew well. He had a tapestry pinned to the canopy of the bed of his favorite story. It was that of Orpheus and Eurydice. It told the tragic tale of two lovers after death did them part. Orpheus has so torn apart at the loss of his love that he traveled to the underworld to bring her back. He armed himself with nothing save for his instrument and his songs.

He sang to Hades and Queen Persephone about love and how Hades was just a man in love once. The pair were so moved that they gave Orpheus back his love with conditions. He could not look at her until they exited the underworld. When he saw the end of the tunnel, he ran for it. As soon as he was out of it he looked back to see that Eurydice was not completely out. She was dragged back in, her second chance at life robbed from her.

Despite the cold ending, Nasch loved the story and always had. He assumed that it was because his middle name was Orpheus but that was beside the point. He loved it for many other reasons too. One being that Orpheus did everything he could and still failed. There were many endings to the tale, however. The one Nasch liked the most was where the lovers reunited in the underworld and could spend eternity together.

He wished for a love like that but he knew it was futile. He was the Emperor with rules and regulations. He had responsibilities and a reputation to uphold. He couldn’t waste his own time with thoughts of a love like they had. There was no way he could find love and continue his family line.

Nasch knew what he had to do but was terrified of sealing his fate with his words so he kept it quiet. He promised himself that the next time the council suggested that he take a wife, he would agree and resign to a life without love. It was for the best.


	9. Pieces

**Winter: Year 3**

 

Sleep evaded the Emperor that night. He laid awake with little to no hope of falling into a dreamless sleep. He acted like a child in front of everyone in the room last night and now everyone knew there was something wrong with him. Nasch skipped the morning services because he’d rather stay in bed for a little longer. Even if he knew well he would not sleep, any form of rest was good enough. He brought out a book from his nightstand and read. This novel was more factual than his most recent read.

It was a historical novel of the customs and practices of the people in Donasus. He picked it up after he became Emperor hoping he would gain an understanding of why these people were so conservative but found nothing. It was a dry read but something to read. He spent a little while buried in the book before Merag came in to check on him after services had concluded. She laid down on the bed next to him.

“What’s this book?” she asked him.

“Something dumb,” he replied as he put the book down next to him.

“I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. You don’t miss services often but when you do, there’s normally something going on.”

Nasch sat up and leaned against the countless pillows gathered behind him. “I’m just a little off. Nothing too bad.”

“I hope you don’t mind but I checked your study this morning to see if you had things to do. It looks like this is your first day off this winter. You don’t even have to go downstairs if you don’t want to,” she said. “I know I wouldn’t.”

“I have to find someone to fix the doorknob that dad broke but I suppose that can wait till I have another reason to go downstairs.” Nasch stretched his arms and fixed the blouse he had gone to bed in. He smoothed out the blanket over his lap before sinking back into the pillows.

“What is in your mattress and why is it so comfy?” she asked him with a yawn.

“Down I think. Why?” he asked in return.

“Mine is the lumpiest thing ever and I hate it.”

“Ask someone to get you a new one. You can do that now, you know.”

“I don’t have a salary, Nasch. I’m clergy.”

“Do you want the money for one?”

“Buy it for me as a birthday present.”

“That isn’t till spring, Merag. You sure you can wait that long?”

“I’ll take an early birthday present.” The Almighty High priestess curled up under one of the spare blankets that Nasch had by the foot of the bed. “Do you remember the days where we shared a room?”

“Yes, and I hated it,” the Emperor replied.

“You didn’t hate it when we got thunderstorms, If I recall correctly,” she said, teasing him.

Nasch chuckled as he shifted his weight so he could push his sister towards the edge of the bed with his legs. “Oh no, Merag. You’re falling,” he said sarcastically.

“Nasch I swear if you push me off this bed, you’re coming down with me.”

Despite this, he continued slowly until she reached the edge and with one final push; she went tumbling onto the floor.

“Okay,” she said as she climbed back on. “First off, fuck you. Second, I’m not wrong. You used to climb in with me every time there was a thunderstorm.”

Nasch smirked. “Only the loud ones. I may have been terrified thunderstorms but at least I’m not scared of cats,” he said with a laugh.

“Listen, those things are evil. I refuse to be in the same room as one.”

“Guess I’m getting a cat then.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Watch me,” he taunted.

“You don’t have the time for a fucking cat, Nasch.”

“All you have to do is put food out for them and they do the rest. They’re more independent than dogs.”

Their back and forth continued for a while until Merag gave up and decided a nap was better than arguing with her brother. She rolled over and fell asleep next to him peacefully. Nasch picked up one of his journals and thumbed through the pages. This was not something he did often, and it wasn’t anything of substance, he wrote his ideas and certain poems he crafted. It’s not like anyone would read it, anyway. He would never let them. These poems felt like extensions of himself, an intimate part of him poured onto these pages. He wasn’t the best writer but he could be if he tried hard enough.

He found a poem he wrote when he had just become Emperor and immediately flipped the page. His writing style had changed so much in the two years since then, reading it was rather cringe-worthy. Not to mention the words that decorated the page were about someone he didn’t particularly want to think about. Although he hardly had time in the warmer months for things like writing, in his spare time in the winter, he had plenty.

Today marked the first of many days off that the Emperor enjoyed. Winter left time to himself and to catch up on missed hours of sleep. In the summer nights, Nasch would wake up before dawn and work well into the night, sometimes accidentally sleeping a few hours in his study before beginning the cycle over again. It was exhausting so when his work slowed to a halt and his days off were more frequent, Nasch made the most of his time. As any man with a stressful job that worked him near death, he spent most of that time in bed either asleep or lying there. The only thing that would improve his time would be a lover to share it with.

However, that was highly unlikely to ever happen.

The council would bring up a wife for their Emperor soon enough and they would force Nasch to agree and resign himself to a loveless marriage for the sake of his kingdom and of his bloodline. He never even thought about a wife for himself or a child of his own and the thought positively terrified him. They would force a woman to bear his child out of necessity and not love. That was not something he wanted for anyone but to keep his line strong and ensure his legacy would be told, he had to. He would be a father and a husband along with the leader of a nation. He could do this. He knew he could.

Love was never something he could have. He was not worthy.

Nasch laid down flat on his back and looked at the tapestry above him as he did often. Finally, his eyes felt heavy and he felt himself sinking into the mattress. Before he knew it, he fell asleep and when he woke, night had fallen and the smell of supper wafted through the air. He sat up slowly in his groggy state and shifted himself out from under the covers. He pulled on a pair of heavy wool socks and glanced through the open doorway at the people gathered in his sitting room. After seeing Vector though, he decided that it was a good idea to stay in his room lest he get emotional again. He lit the oil lamp on his nightstand and from that flame, lit a fire in the fireplace at the foot of his bed. He sat cross-legged in front of it with a book in his hands.

He read silently there for a while until he heard Merag declare to those gathered that supper was finished. He rose from the seat, took a deep breath and walked out into his sitting room. He sat next to Merag on the floor in front of the hearth and they ate quietly together. When Nasch was finished, he whipped out the bowl with a rag and set it back in its place before rolling himself a cigarette. This time, it had dried cherries in with the tobacco.

This was a nasty habit. Nasch knew this well but still, he continued. He hated the smell of plain tobacco so he rolled various dried fruits and tea leaves in with it to reduce the telltale smell. He pulled on his overcoat, stepped into his boots, and walked out to his balcony.

There wasn’t much wind tonight which was a blessing in disguise. Being on an island connected to another, much larger island, there was always wind. It was always perfect weather for sailing and Nasch constantly noted the times he’d rather be out on the open ocean rather than stuck inside a palace doing boring royal things. However, Nasch learned to live with the hand life had dealt him and that his sailing ventured from ages 10 to 16 were simply to get him acquainted with the lands he ruled. Nothing more, nothing less.

The match lit on the first strike by the grace of the gods above and Nasch lit the cigarette he held tightly between his lips. He walked towards the stone railing and leaned his arms against it. It was also a somewhat mild night for the middle of winter which was another blessing in disguise. The chill in the air still bit at his bones but not as hard as it usually would. Nasch let his shoulders relax as he took a long drag of his cigarette, filling his lungs with smoke before exhaling it slowly and watching the cloud drift and thin out as the wind took it. The moon was full and Nasch’s first day of spare time as a success overall. He was content with the fact he slept for most of the day and thought about how it had been a long time since he had done that. He never had the chance to take a day and sleep off most of the exhaustion.

The exhaustion that came with being the Emperor was the absolute worst thing Nasch had ever experienced. It was constant and nagged at him worse than any other pain in the world. He was sure that no matter how much sleep he got, it would never go away. It made his bones ache and ankles swell from standing on them for so long. Not to mention the beautiful marble floors that decorated most of the palace were brutal on his lower back, adding to the pain he already got constantly between his shoulders from his past injury. That was another pain that would never go away no matter what he did.

Some days the pain in between his shoulders was so great that nothing would ease it. Sess would take the edge off. It took the edge off of any pain, but this was something else. This pain would make Nasch want to tear out his spine and scratch at the wound. That would be less painful than some days. Nasch found that anything could aggravate it from standing up wrong to sitting or standing all day. It never went away.

On the days where his pain was less than others, he could reach his arm back to touch the bone in between his shoulders and feel where it had healed slightly wrong. The only thing that frustrated him about this was that he could do nothing to ease it. Bones had fused where they weren’t supposed to and all attempts to fix this were futile. The torture he had gone through when he was six years old would haunt him for the rest of his life. If he ever found the man who ordered this torture or had performed it, Nasch would make sure to personally torture the man in the same way he was. He was the youngest and only survivor of their torture and he suffered the consequences daily.

He finished his cigarette and flicked the rest of the embers over the edge only to watch it come to a halt on a ledge three-quarters of the way down to the sea. The waves would catch it and carry it off, eventually. From his balcony, Nasch watched the ember simmer out from the cold before he turned to go inside. The change in temperature was plenty to shock someone. Someone was always in his sitting room making sure the hearth was blazing something fierce, so it was constantly warm. The chill was still present, but it was better than anywhere else in the palace.

When Nasch walked inside he found his mother, father, and grandmother sitting on the sofa waiting for him. When he entered the room, they stood and turned to greet him.

“Give your old nan a hug, Nasch. Don’t know if I’ll survive the journey back home,” his grandmother said as she hobbled over towards him without her cane.

“You’re leaving so soon this year,” Nasch replied. “And of course you will live the journey home, nan. Don’t say things like that.”

Nasch met her halfway and hugged her tightly. He hated it when she constantly reminded him she was old as dirt. He never wanted to think about losing his nan, she was one of the few people he could talk to without judgment. He’d hate to lose her so soon before she even got the chance to see her great-grandchildren run around at her feet. He let go of her and kissed her on the cheek. “Stay safe, nan.”

“I will, Nasch. You know I’m kidding. I’m a roach, you can’t kill me,” She laughed as she turned away.

Nasch then turned to his mother who hugged him tightly. “I will always love you, Nasch. No matter what happens.”

He had completely forgotten about their conversation a few days prior and his reply seemed ungrateful to him as he whispered it to her. “Thank you, mom.”

She released him and allowed him to walk over to his father who gave him a firm handshake and a few words of a goodbye before turning with his wife and mother-in-law to leave. They would take a while getting out of the palace and Nasch was never sure if he should follow them out. The three of them always insisted that they were fine but the Emperor always had a gut feeling they didn’t want to bother him. This time, Nasch followed his family out of the palace and to the bridge. He watched as they entered the horse-drawn carriage that would take them close to their permanent home. They would have to walk through most of the coastal city and could probably walk across the ice that formed between the City and the small Island known as the Gap. Nasch knew the route well. He walked it many times and was still terrified of falling through the ice. It was easy for him to lose his footing so ice was never something he liked.

Nasch walked back up to his sitting room and before he locked himself in his bedroom for the night Kellem approached him. “Scratch’s tonight?” he asked.

“Fucking absolutely. Let me get my other coat and we can leave,” Nasch replied.

Nasch hung up his expensive coat and traded it in for another, much cheaper one. He glanced at himself in the floor-length mirror and when he decided that he looked normal enough; he left the room, collected his best friend, and they were off. Nasch made an effort to look as normal as possible when venturing out of the palace unattended to by the guard. They had no idea this happened, and the Emperor made every move possible to keep it that way.

They exited the palace through the stables, the easiest place to get out from, and walked along the servant’s path in near silence. They were listening for hurried footsteps echoing through the stone walls. The path was hidden inside the wall around the palace and it was a tight space with minimal lighting. Nasch figured that they created it with the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ mentality when it came to workers on estates. The unguarded passage provided the perfect escape route though.

Once they reached the bridge that ran under the main one, Nasch felt excited. Kellem had been here nearly a month, and they hadn’t had the chance to venture out together. This would be a night to remember or forget depending on the amount of alcohol Nasch consumed. No matter how much he drank, he knew he was safe and sure to return to the palace safely with Kellem by his side. They had been in countless risky situations before and had gotten out unscathed, they were sailors once and sailors got into some unsavory situations.

They turned on the road that led right by the docks and Nasch knew they weren’t headed to the pub anymore. “Scratch’s is the other way,” Nasch said.

“Oh I know, I figured a few people wanted to see you after not hearing anything from you for a while.”

“You can’t be fucking serious,” Nasch replied.

“I heard from Magee this morning. All the boys are in the Imperial for the night and we figured you might need a little taste of your former life.”

Nasch let a smile rise to his face. Everyone knew this was exactly what he needed. If everything else was falling apart, spending a drunken night with friends was what his broken spirits needed. “Fuck, if you would’ve told me I’d have brought a bottle of something.”

“Nah, I got one. Snuck down to the cellar this mornin’ to grab a few things.”

They turned left onto the massive ramp leading to the ships docked for the season and walked along the long dock to the end where the Imperial sat gracefully. Kellem whistled and a rope ladder dropped from the deck. The Captain of the ship went first, ascending with ease. Nasch took a little more time to get his footing, there weren’t many opportunities to climb a rope ladder around the palace. Once he reached the top he was pulled over and set on his feet by Kellem.

Cheers erupted from the eight men already aboard. They ran towards Nasch all at once, excited to welcome their brother home. Nasch grew up with these men and hired them mainly because he knew they deserved better. Yes, he sailed with each of them personally and knew their abilities well but the Gap was a hard place to get out of and Nasch promised them he would make them something greater than the poorest of the poor. He greeted each of them with an embrace and when he turned back towards Kellem; his friends met him with a full glass of whiskey.

“I propose a toast,” Kellem said. “To the man that saved us all.”

The men quickly poured glasses of alcohol and raised them high in the air to the Emperor who brought them out of poverty. They drank happily from their classes after another cheer erupted from them.

The Imperial wasn’t a large ship by any means, but she was built for safe, steady, and fast travel. She was one of the best ships in existence. With the outside of the hull painted in the standard royal emerald and a figurehead of Hecate on the bow, this ship was hard to miss. She was beautiful in the spring when all the sails were let down and the jibs were tied tight. Nasch drifted towards the bow despite the happy shanties from the men behind him. God, he missed the ocean.

One man came up from behind him and threw his arm on Nasch’s shoulders. “Not thinkin’ bout jumpin’ are ya?”

Nasch sighed with a chuckle, “No Malone. I would never. Drowning is an awful way to die.”

“Ah, I’ve heard it isn’t so bad. Apparently, you feel like you’re floating for a bit before ya actually bite it.”

“You always know how to cheer me up,” Nasch said sarcastically. “How’ve you been, anyway?”

“Good. Finally got me a girl here in the city. She’s as beautiful as a girl could be,” Malone replied.

“You got yourself a girl for once? You long have you two been going for?”

“Since the spring. It’s lookin’ promising.”

Nasch laughed and pat him on the back. “Marry her before she finds someone else like the last one that was ‘lookin’ promising’.”

While Nasch didn’t have the typical sailor’s accent anymore, he could still imitate it very well and when he was with his second family, he did so often. He walked back to the men who hopped down into the cargo hold. Nasch happily took a seat off to the side, resting his back up against a post, facing the other men who had gathered around their bunks. Kellem sat next to Nasch on the floor and handed him another glass.

“I’ll carry ya back in the morning, don’t worry,” he said. “Oh shit, did you hear Malone’s got a girl?”

“He just told me.” All eyes in the room turned to the man who had just climbed up onto his bunk on the top.

The room fell silent until the man on the bunk under him spoke. “Did ya fuck her yet?”

This earned him a blind kick in his direction as the room erupted in laughter.

“Come on. We all know Malone is the only virgin out of all of us,” Kellem said amid the laughter that shook him.

Malone sat up with a red face, “Not true! Nasch has never had a woman!”

Nasch raised his glass to his lips and smirked. “You’re right,” he said as he motioned in Malone’s direction. “I haven’t had a woman but I’m far from pure.”

“Forgot you were a fag for a minute there,” one man mumbled.

To this Nasch laughed. “How? I mean look at me.”

“God only knows, Nasch,” Kellem said as he leaned back against the pole. “God only knows.”

“How about you, Hogan? Haven’t heard anything from you?” Nasch asked him.

Silence fell on the room and Nasch knew he said something wrong instantly.

After a while of awkward silence, Nasch spoke again. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up anything.”

“Nah, s’alright Nasch,” Hogan hopped off of his bunk and onto the floor. “Just that my girl left me. None of the kids are mine.”

This was all too common for a sailor. Most women and men didn’t have the patience to see their love only three months out of the year. They moved on in the absence of their partners and some even had two different families. One for the winter and the other for the summer. It was cruel, but that was life. Nasch was lucky he never had to experience that heartbreak.

Hogan was the one who started a family first, marrying as soon as he could and the first of the men to have a child. Wait, the child. “If it’s not too much for me to ask, how do you know they’re not yours? I mean that little girl must be about four by now, right?”

“I saw the other man. They even call him dad, Nasch. It's bad.”

Nasch inhaled through clenched teeth and ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck, Hogan. I’m so sorry. Do you need help with the divorce? I can expedite it for you.”

“I was gonna ask ya’ that. I would appreciate it.”

“We’ll work out the details later on. Now though, you need another drink and so do I.”

Nasch refilled his glass with his third and final drink for the night. He could drink whiskey like water which was a blessing and a curse. As an added bonus, hangovers were rare, so even after a night of heavy drinking, he would be completely fine the next morning.

“How about you, Nasch?” Malone asked. “What’s been going on in the palace?”

“Everything,” He replied.

Kellem chuckled. He was drunk and would most likely not be returning to the palace with Nasch tonight unless he absolutely had to. “You know how he always lets a man ruin his life?”

“Don’t fucking start, Kellem.”

“Well, he’s going down that road again.”

“Goddamnit, Kellem! Nothing is sacred to you,” He was as angry as the alcohol in the system allowed him. He was halfway to standing up before Kellem pulled him back down.

Another sailor hopped off of his bunk and sat in front of Nasch on the floor.“Ah, you’re among friends. All of whom know your… habits.” He ended with a small chuckle.

Nasch sighed. “It’s just I have no idea what’s going on in my mind, Tracey.” Nasch began. “Look I started off tonight hoping to drink my thoughts away but fucking Kellem can’t keep his mouth shut once he downs a drink.”

Kellem stayed silent, it was for the best.

“Don’t get yourself worked up over some man, Nasch. It ain’t worth it,” Tracey told him. “No matter what happens, we’ll support you. We’ve always got your back. You should probably head back to the palace before the whiskey catches up with ya.”

Nasch agreed and slowly stood. Despite this, he still felt dizzy as he did so and his legs felt nonexistent as he walked over to the men gathered by the bunks. He said his goodbyes to each of them, taking an extra moment with Hogan to comfort him in his loss of a family. He then turned towards the hole leading to the deck and pulled himself up with Kellem following quickly behind. They walked in silence as they traveled up to the main road. It was a tense and awkward silence but neither knew what to say to break it.

It wasn’t until they reached the entrance to the servant’s bridge that Kellem found the right words to say.

“Look Nasch, I didn’t mean-”

“Save it,” Nasch interrupted him. There was nothing that would really save the evening in his mind. Yes, he met with friends he hadn’t seen in over a year. Yes, he did as planned and drank himself away from his thoughts. But they brought Vector up in conversation and Nasch remembered every letter he kept for years that was burned the day before. He remembered how childish he acted after the one night he welcomed the man into his bed. He hadn’t even given him a fighting chance but any hopes of giving him a chance were gone and turned to ash much like the letters.

Kellem and Nasch turned through the servant’s path and exited towards the stables. They ran past the guards and into the structure, climbed onto the roof, and entered the palace. They walked in silence to their separate rooms and once Nasch found himself alone in his own bedroom; he locked the door tightly. He stripped himself of his clothes and left them on the floor before climbing into bed and cocooning himself in his sheets. He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, attempting to sleep but finding that it evaded him in the worst ways possible. The thought of Vector returned to his mind. How Nasch purposefully started the fight and only found himself terrified by it‘s outcome. It was his fault that he saw Vector as a possible danger and his fault that that possible danger wasn’t removed from the rooms where he could endanger the Emperor or someone important to him. this thought frightened him but the alcohol had taken hold. He laid there and kept trying to fall asleep despite the potential danget that Vector could be to those Nasch held dear to him. 

The Prince of Austrania was a plague intended to disease his mind and insert him in every situation possible. The Emperor of the Seven United Lands found it nearly impossible to rid himself of this disease which that damned man started. He told himself that the man was to move rooms within the palace which he never enforced just because he didn;t want to stir drama within the royal halls. He hated everything about the man. 

Unbeknownst to the Emperor, Vector was a few rooms away writing a letter that would never be sent. His letters to Nasch had become some sort of a habit. He finished scribbling down whatever he could manage, folded the paper and placed it within a box he brought from home. It was meant for his jewelry and it served its purpose but for now, it held weekly letters to the Emperor. It was strictly a force of habit nothing more. 

That was the problem. He knew it well. He had a tendency to either say the wrong things or say nothing at all. Both of which left him in a hole he dug himself. He had packed what little possessions he had in his duffle bag and simple awaited the order to move but it never came. Was Nasch even trying anymore? Only God may know.

Vector glanced at the figure of his namesake, his real name not his chosen one. The creator of his people and his land. He walked over to it and said a silent prayer that he would be able to think of some way to repair the situation between them. Even if it was temporary, he needed a solution. There was no way he could lose this ally from across the seas once he came to power in his homeland. Even if it meant foolishly laying with the Emperor and toying with his feelings, he was willing to do anything to make the man look at him adoringly again but that was not the point.

He craved attention and there was no way he could get any of that closed in his room and walking on glass to get to him. He needed to think of something. Any information or trial would be acceptable. He sat on the cushion in front of the fire blazing the chill in his room away and tried to come up with a solution. Nasch would be the person to make political decisions from the heart without thinking of the potential superpower Austrania could be once it came to glory. He needed the help of a strong nation and seeking help from most others was off limits as Austrania had conquered and burned most of the ones it was close to. The ones it hadn’t, it instilled fear and caused them to close borders and cut off communication. Austrainia might have been poor but its people were brutal, willing to cut down any who opposed without a second glance and dammit, Vector might be in danger back home but he was still an Austranian through and through.

That was when the idea came to him from nowhere. He was Austranian through and through and like his people, he will stop at nothing. It filled Vector with a confidence he didn’t know he had. He rose from his cushion and threw water on the fire, causing the thing to fizzle out. He bowed to the statue of his God and thanked him. He turned and left his room and quickly walked to Nasch’s rooms. He walked into the sitting room and right to the bedroom doors. He knocked loudly and without hesitation.

Much to his surprise, he heard the lock on the door click open and he heard the creak of the hinges as Nasch opened the door. He wrapped himself in a thick robe and the expression of disgust that filled his face fueled Vector. Nasch attempted to slam the door shut but Vector stuck his barefoot in the doorjamb.

‘Okay, ouch.’ That was not a part of the plan. “We need to talk, Nasch,” he said.

“Whatever it is, it can wait till morning,” he replied.

That’s when Vector smelt whiskey and noticed the slight slur in the Emperor’s speech. This was perfect. “No. it can’t actually.”

“Make it quick,” Nasch said after some hesitation. He opened the door completely and walked into his sitting room and sat on the sofa.

“It’s about a few nights ago.”

Nasch rose from his seat. And walked back towards his bedroom door. He was drunk, and it was visible in every movement he made. Nasch grabbed the door and attempted to slam it again but Vector blocked it with his body, cushioning the blow with his arms. He pushed himself inside Nasch’s bedroom. “We can’t very well talk about it if you go slamming doors in my face,” Vector said, taunting him. “It is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Your chance came and went. Goodnight, Vector.”

“Listen, I know I wasn’t mature about things but the truth is, I had no idea how to react.” This was perfect and while not going according to plan, he could still play with the cards he had been dealt. “I truly didn’t know how to react to-... well- any of that.”

‘Keep it innocent and awkward. Make it seem sincere,’ He encouraged himself in his mind.

“Not in a bad way,” he continued with an embarrassed chuckle. He laced his fingers together and looked at his empty hands. “I just wanted that since I saw you again.”

That was a lie. He was simply drunk and needed any form of attention he could get. He couldn’t even seduce a maid or two since he arrived and dammit, he had needs. He looked back up at Nasch whose face was flushed. Whether it was from the alcohol or what he had just said, he took the silence from the other man as a sign that whatever he was saying was working.

He continued speaking, not caring what came out of his mouth. “Look, Nasch, I just wanted to spend the night with you and I felt that I came up short.” There was no pun intended there, but it happened and he had to keep every ounce of willpower in check to keep himself from laughing.

“Vector, I-,” Nasch spoke but cut himself off. There was a sudden anger about him as he reached for the door handle again but he halted once his hand was on it. He sighed and turned to the Prince who kept his facade well. “I’m at a fucking loss for words.”

“I just figured that you should know where I stand, Nasch,” Vector said as he turned to the door to let himself out. There was no point in pursuing things further tonight. All he had to do was wait until morning and hope that Nasch remembered this encounter.

He turned his back on him and reached for the handle but found that Nasch grabbed his other arm tightly and that grip threatened to keep him there in that room where practically anything could happen. This was not in the plan and this threatened to twist itself in ways that Vector was not prepared for. He turned to look at Nasch and found the Emperor was just as surprised by his actions as he was.

Nasch let go when they met eyes and ran a hand nervously through his hair. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“That’s all right, but it’s getting late and you have things to do tomorrow. You should get to bed as you intended.”

“Right,” Nasch agreed.

“We’ll talk more about this tomorrow when you have a clearer head. Sleep well, Nasch.” With that Vector turned and left. He couldn’t help but smile as he exited the sitting room and walked down the hall to his room. He would unpack his things tonight. He had a feeling that the pieces to his puzzle would fall into place easier than expected.


	10. Arrangement

  **Winter: Year 3**

 

Vector slept well that night and woke with newfound energy from somewhere. He dressed quickly and walked out of his room. He headed downstairs to Nasch’s study and was pleasantly surprised when he found him there. He knocked on the door twice softly before letting himself in, hand searching for the absent doorknob. He decided instead to push the door, hoping that he wouldn’t have to fiddle with the mechanism to open it.

It gave with little effort and he walked inside. He closed the door behind him and sat across from Nasch. He leaned on the desk with his elbows and placed his chin in his hands. “Good morning.”

Nasch snickered. “It’s the middle of the day.”

“That’s not the point. I heard of some festival going on in the Capital after sundown and wanted to know if you’d like to come with me,” Vector asked him. This was a longshot considering that only last night the Emperor was slamming doors in his face.

“A few of my old friends will be there and I haven’t decided if I really want to go,” Nasch replied. He still wasn’t looking up at him and his gaze was focused on the papers in front of him.

‘We’ll have to fix that,’ Vector told himself.

“Why not?” he asked the man in front of him.

“I barely have spare time, just a few days in the winter. So I spend it catching up on sleep I may have missed during the summer.”

“That’s fair,” Vector replied as he leaned back in the chair. He contemplated ways to get Nasch to put the papers down and look at him. Silence filled the room. It wasn’t tense or awkward, it was just silence but any the thing was too much for Vector, he got carried away and some of his thoughts became rather intrusive.

He didn’t follow those thoughts usually. Sometimes though, those were the only thoughts he could hear. For instance, in this moment something told him to take the paper out of Nasch’s hands and use himself to distract the Emperor. This was not the right thing to do but he still planned on getting his attention somehow.

“Nasch?” Vector said.

Nasch hummed in response and adjusted his spectacles.

“About our conversation last night…” He said coyly.

Nasch removed his spectacles and put down the paper, finally paying attention to the man in front of him. He pulled his chair into the desk tighter and leaned in. “What about last night?”

“I figured that we should have a civil conversation about what happened when you got rid of the whiskey in your system,” He said casually.

This was working. The odds were swaying in his favor and Vector was back in control. He could play Nasch like a game with a little more investigating. He could make himself appeal to anyone, be what they wanted until he achieved what he was looking for. That part was the easiest of all, leaving without a word. Sure, this time it was a little more long-term but it would be worth it.

His outcome was simple. Seduce the Emperor of a powerful nation, ally the two nations when the time came, then leave him. Cut off all communications and leave Nasch stranded with no hope of further contact. Vector was a force to be reckoned with and people knew not to play games with him. Nasch, however, let his emotions come into play which made this game more exciting. These emotions were something Vector was sure of. How dare the Emperor think he was worthy to love him?

Vector smiled inwardly. He could crush this God-like man in a heartbeat.

Nasch chuckled slightly. “Well, there’s no more whiskey in my system. Let’s just try to keep this  conversation civil.” There was a slight hint of venom in his words that Vector did not like.

‘Let’s get rid of that, shall we?’

“I believe a sort of ‘arrangement’ would be beneficial to both of us,” Vector stated.

“Humor me. What sort of arrangement are you talking about?” Nasch now leaned back in his chair, he crossed his arms and he looked at the man in front of him. He could intimidate people well and the Prince almost fell for it. Almost.

Vector let him think he was winning, but he still held all the strings in his hand. “A sort of… friends with benefits arrangement. Look at it this way when’s the last time you’ve had any of that attention?”

“That’s not relevant, although I am inclined to agree to your ‘arrangement’ of sorts,” Nasch replied. A smirk spread across his face as he looked at Vector.

‘Pull back. Be submissive.’

Vector did just that. He leaned forward and rested his elbows in his lap. “So?”

Nasch leaned forward also and sifted through papers again. “Why not,” he said. “But if you are dragging me out of the palace and to the festival tonight, I expect something in return.”

Vector knew where this was conversation was headed and yet he let it continue. It’s not like he had anything better to do today.

Nasch cleaned a bit of his desk before he stood and walked over to Vector. He placed his hand on his chin and moved his face up so that he was looking at him. “I’m done for today. What do you say we put this little ‘arrangement’ to the test?”

“Here?” Vector asked. “In case you haven’t noticed, your door is broken. Anyone can come in.”

Nasch snickered and rolled his eyes. He walked over to the door and produced a wooden wedge that Vector hadn’t seen when he came in. He jammed it under the door with a light kick and tested it by pulling on the small hole where the doorknob once was. When he was sure that no one would be able to open the door from the outside, he turned to one of the bookshelves that lined the walls. He pulled two of the books out and brought out a small amphora of oil. On his way back over to Vector he turned down the oil lamp that was lit, causing it to fizzle out and plunge the room into darkness. Vector was slightly alarmed at this until he felt Nasch kiss him hard on the mouth.

Vector kept repeating to himself to be submissive. Let Nasch undress him, let him leave marks on his chest. Let him have his way for now. Once he got more comfortable with all of this, he would take the lead. He just needed to learn what drove Nasch insane. Once he figured it out, he could use it to his advantage.

“Sit on the desk,” Nasch told him. “It’ll be easier that way.”

The moment was quick. Both men reached their climax and were left panting. All in all, Vector was satisfied if not slightly disgusted at just how messy this was. How could he forget that the oil got everywhere? It tended to spread and get into crevices he didn’t know he had. Nasch handed him a cloth from somewhere. It was far too dark to tell. He cleaned himself up the best he could before Locating the sweater that Nasch threw behind him. As soon as he pulled it over his head, Nasch relit lit the oil lamp and the room was filled with a dim light.

Vector finished gathering his scattered clothes and Nasch fastened his belt. He moved towards the door. He kicked the wooden doorstop out of the way and bent over to pick it up and toss it carelessly to the corner. He replaced the bottle of oil behind the books it had come from and turned to Vector who joined him at the door, now fully clothed. Nasch kissed him again before pulling away and opening the door into the library.

“I could fill a bath for you if you’d like. It might be nice after the mess we’ve made,” Nasch said.

“It would be nice if it’s not too much trouble,” Vector replied. God, how long had it been since he had a bath? It was more than a few months. Sure, he’d wash quickly with warm water and a rag but nothing compared to a bath. He had a tendency to stay in them until the water cooled completely and his feet grew cold. With this brutal winter, it wouldn’t take too long for that to happen.

Nasch opened the door of his study and let Vector exit first. He followed close behind and caught up so that they were walking side by side. “Wait,” Vector said. “You have a tub in your room?”

Nasch laughed. “I have a room next to my bedroom where it is. It’s also where I keep my soaps and lotions and things along those lines.”

“Where? I’ve never seen it.”

“Along the wall to the right. My closet blocks it so you can’t see it from the door.”

“But I’ve been in your bed before and I still haven’t seen it,” Vector said.

“Well, you were drunk and clearly not paying attention to the details of my room,” Nasch replied.

They turned left out of the library and into the hallway. They followed it around the corner and turned left again past the royal guards posted at the bottom of the staircase. This was always the worst part. It seemed endless like Vector could get trapped in it forever. Not to mention the way they thinned towards the center was awkward and changed on one stair about halfway up. He kept his head down, looking for it but missed it. The toe of his shoe caught it, sent his feet out from under him and threw him forward. He worked quickly with his hands to toss them out in front of him. He missed with one and the other hit the corner of the stair in the center of his forearm.

Nasch froze behind him, afraid that Vector would send both tumbling down the stairs. He gripped onto the railing for dear life. When he noticed Vector only tripped a few stairs, he let go and helped him up.

“Fuck, Nasch. You need to get someone to fix that stair!” Vector steadied himself and grabbed lightly at his forearm where it hit the stair. “Fuck,” he swore again.

“Is it broken?” Nasch asked. “I’ll get Merag to take a look when we get upstairs.”

“Maybe. It hurts like hell and I heard a snap when it hit the stair,” Vector replied.

“I’ve broken enough bones to know that when you hear a snap, it’s probably broken. If it is, Merag can help you out. She’s good with splints and things,” Nasch stated. He slipped past Vector and walked in front of him. They only had one more rotation until they walked into the hallway. Nasch hurried slightly ahead of Vector who cradled his arm close to him.

He walked into the sitting room and Merag, who had already started supper, hurried over to him. He told her what happened and she rolled up his sleeve without telling him. He fought the urge to pull away when she glanced at the old scars that decorated his forearm. She said nothing about them and instead inspected the bone, squeezing tightly where she saw it was hit by the bruise. “Does it hurt?” she asked.

“Like hell,” he replied.

“It’s slightly broken. You didn’t completely snap the bone, but it is still fractured.”

“How can you tell without slicing me open?”

“Years of training. Plus, you would have been able to tell if it was completely snapped. You’ve got a little give in it but not too much. That leads me to say you at least cracked it,” She replied. She told Durbe to watch the supper as she left to retrieve materials for a splint.

“Guess we’re not going out tonight, Nasch,” Vector said.

“That’s all right. I’d prefer to stay in any way.” Nasch walked by with a rather large pot made of thin metal. It was already full of water and he walked right into his bedroom presumably to place it close to the fire to heat up the water for a bath. At least that was something he could look forward to.

He sat on the sofa and glanced at Durbe who was curled up on the other end of the sofa under a blanket. His gaze was fixed on the fire a few feet away. It was slightly alarming how he barely blinked. Vector thought about saying something to him but kept his mouth shut instead. He glanced through Nasch’s open bedroom doors and glimpsed him carrying the large pot across the room and returning a few moments later. He exited the sitting room and walked somewhere down the hall. He returned with another full pot and walked back into his room.

Vector had enough of sitting in silence with the weird first Knight and decided he’d let himself into Nasch’s room. He was still holding his arm close to himself because dammit; it hurt. He sat next to Nasch in front of the fireplace. He was reading and invested in it at that. This was fine. He had his fill of attention from the Emperor for today but a little more never hurt. He wouldn’t push for it though. He’d leave him be for a while. There was also a risk that Merag would come back any second and he’d hate to be lying in the lap of her twin brother when she did.

Vector sat silently next to Nasch and waited for something to happen. He found his gaze drifting to various items and decorations around the room. The ceiling was high, much higher than that of the sitting room and the large bed that he had been on once before had curtains around it. Vector couldn’t place their use and decided to ask about it later. He then looked to the left of the bed and focused on the stained glass windows on the wall to the left. They were beautiful and large, colored perfectly with greens yellows, and blues.

‘It would be a shame if they shattered.’

The pesky intrusive thoughts in his mind always bubbled forth. He stifled them the best he could but judging by the state of the scarring on his arm that wasn’t always possible. That was the worst his thoughts have ever gotten. The one time in his life they were so loud, he had no choice but to obey. He prayed it would never be that bad again and feared the possibility of what would happen if his prayers went unanswered.

The water boiled and sizzled onto the fire and it made Vector jump. He looked quickly at the fire and then over at Nasch who pulled the pot from its spot carefully. He repeated his steps from before, into the other room and down the hall to return with a full pot which he placed practically in the fire before returning to his book.

It was then that Merag walked into Nasch’s bedroom with bandages and mismatched pieces of what Vector assumed to be a splint. She kneeled next to him and motioned for his arm which he reluctantly produced. She held a clean rag to bite on in her other hand and offered it to him. “I have to set the bone,” she said.

“I thought you said it wasn’t out of place,” Vector replied.

“Well, in taking another look at it, it's slightly out of place. Bite the rag. It will hurt.”

“Just put it back in place,” he said. “The sooner we get it done, the sooner I can move on with my life.”

“You’re sure?” She asked looking at him quizzically.

“This isn’t the first bone that I’ve broken, Merag,” he replied, pulling down the collar of his sweater to show her his collarbone that healed slightly wrong.

“But is it the first bone you’ve had reset properly?”

He hesitated, thinking about the time he broke a few ribs in a fight with his cousin. Or the time he broke one of his toes as a child when he rammed them on the leg of a table. “Yeah,” he replied.

“You sure you don’t want to bite the rag?” She asked again.

“Positive, just get it over with.”

“Okay,” she said skeptically. She rolled up his sleeve carefully folding it over itself until it was over his elbow. She positioned her hands and counted. “Ready? One, two, three.”

With another snap, it was over. She withdrew her hands quickly and Vector bit back a scream. He hunched over his legs and fought the urge to grab at his arm tightly. He clenched his free hand into a fist and pressed his knuckles into the floor hard.

Merag laughed. “That’s the worst part, I promise. You will need to sit up though. You need to see  how I tie the splint so you can do it yourself later on.”

Vector exhaled and inhaled deeply before he sat up and removed his knuckles from the wooden floor. “So how did you learn to do all of this?”

“Oh,” Merag said as she grabbed the bandages and wooden rods and moved them closer to her. “It’s all a part of the job.”

“So besides being the leader of the religion of your people, you’re a healer and a midwife. What else are you, a scholar?”

“I wouldn’t call myself a scholar just yet. My book is still in the works.” She winked at him.

Nasch looked over at her confused. “Since when are you writing a book?” he chimed in.

“Since summer, Nasch. I told you about this.”

“No, you told me you were thinking about writing a book over the summer,” Nasch said as he removed the now boiling pot of water. “Not that you were actually writing one.”

He stood and stuck his tongue out at her, taking the pot into the other room, dumping it into the tub, and walking out of the room and down the hall to fill it somewhere. Vector would have to find where later on. He briefly thought about how dumb it was that Nasch never used any sort of servants. If he did, the bathtub would be filled in notime. Then he realized that unlike himself, Nasch wasn't born into royalty and preferred to keep things simple in the royal halls. that was also why the last presence of royal guards was at the bottom of the spiral staircase.

_'No one would notice if you smothered him. Oh wait, you need him alive, don't you.'_

“Hey, Vector?” Merag said to get his attention once she was sure Nasch left the room.

“Yes?” He replied.

“Take care of yourself, okay? I know that these are old but still. I’ve seen how habits like this lay dormant for a while,” she said as she tied the last knot on the tight bandages. “I know I’m not the best with dealing with these issues but if you need someone, I’m here.”

“Thank you, but I assure you I’m all right. I was a different person two years ago.”

Merag chuckled. “We all are different. However, that doesn’t mean our demons are.”

Vector took a moment to think of what she had just said before he responded. It was true. Vector still had his intrusive thoughts, but he learned to stifle them to an extent. They were always present, but they were manageable most of the time.

“Now that I think about that, it's true. But these demons don’t really exist here. Back then I got my first taste of freedom and what the real world offered. I convinced myself that the only way out of Austrania was death,” he said.

He didn’t understand why he was telling her these things but in front of her, the words just flowed.

“Are you trying to get out of Austrania?” she asked him.

“Just until my father dies. That’s how long I’m here. He was falling ill when I left and it’s wrong of me to hope that he takes out, but I do. He’s an awful man, Merag.”

“Regardless of what my brother and or Durbe might say, you are always welcome here. Your father’s actions don’t define you,” the Almighty High Priestess replied.

So Durbe didn’t like him either. That wasn’t much of a surprise. Merag though was comforting and a voice he didn’t want at the moment but needed. He hadn’t heard anything like that since he was young and his aunt was still alive. He felt the pull of tears sting the corner of his eyes but fought them back.

“Thank you,” he replied. “I really mean it.”

“So do I.” She rose from her seated position in front of him and walked towards the door. “Now to see if Durbe actually moved from his spot on the sofa and actually paid attention to supper.”

With that, she was gone. Her words echoed in his mind for a brief moment before his own thoughts pushed them away. He turned his attention back to the Emperor’s bedroom and its decorations. He glanced through the open door into the bathroom and let his curiosity get the better of him. He walked into the room and was in awe of what he saw. The floor was a flawless white marble The wall to his right was lined with white shelves filled with herbs and perfumed oils all sorted neatly in some way. He walked over to it and examined some of them. He couldn’t name all of them and hadn’t even seen some.

He turned to glance at the large window decorating the wall opposite the spices and the large clawfoot tub in the room's center. He walked over to it to see how full it was and found it satisfactory that it was roughly halfway filled. The water had steam coming off of it and Vector fought the urge to submerge himself at that moment.

“It’s nice in here, isn’t it?” Nasch said from behind him.

Vector turned rapidly to see Nasch leaning against the doorway with a smile on his face. “How long have you been standing there?” Vector asked him.

“Long enough to see you’re confused about some items on my shelves.” He laughed as he entered the room. “They’re all used in different spells and rituals I like. Some, like lavender, I use frequently because I like the smell.”

“I could tell. You have three large jars,” Vector replied.

Nasch walked over to the wall and pulled a bottle of one of the perfumed oils off of it. He motioned for Vector to walk over to him as he removed the glass topper from the bottle. He moved it close to Vector’s face. “Smell,” he said.

“Cinnamon,” he replied.

“And?”

Vector smelt it again. “Citrus. Hey, do you make all of these?”

“The ones on the bottom shelves I do, the very top shelf are the imported ones.” Nasch paused as he replaced the bottle and reached for one on the top shelf. “Have you ever been to Jenira?”

“The only place I’ve been that isn’t Austrania is here.”

“Really? The future King of Austrania hasn’t taken the time to travel for a time?”

Vector couldn’t tell if those words were a jest or a blow at his pride. He settled for the latter. “Despite being the heir to a kingdom, it is practically ashes. I barely found enough money to make it here for asylum.”

That was the truth even though it didn’t sound like it. Vector instantly felt embarrassed by the words that left him. He looked back at the shelves of various items and prayed that his face wasn’t too red. How could he tell Merag about his past but he couldn’t even tell Nasch about how obviously impoverished his nation was?

His mind was something he would never fully understand let alone someone else.

Nasch heard the water in the pot boil over. He handed Vector the glass bottle of oil from Jenira and exited the room, only to return to pour the pot into the tub. He exited the room again to get more water from wherever. Vector didn’t care enough about it anymore. He placed the oil back on the shelf much easier than Nasch had taken it down. He always forgot he was a few inches taller.

Vector walked out and into the sitting room. He sat on the sofa. It looked like Durbe hadn’t moved which wasn’t surprising. He wasn’t too fond of the first knight and if asked, he would make it known. But nobody asked, so he stayed silent. There was something about him he didn’t like, he just couldn’t place it correctly. Maybe it was that he didn’t fucking blink.

“By the way, how long do I keep this in a splint?” Vector asked Merag.

“You’re not going to like my reply,” she said.

“What is it though?”

“At least four weeks,” she said far too casually for Vector’s liking.

He scoffed, rolled his eyes and muttered something along the lines of “fucking uneven stairs”. He sat back in the couch and attempted to cross his arms and pout but was stopped by the pain in his left arm when he tried to do so.

“What did you decide on making for supper tonight, Merag?” Vector asked her.

“It’s a sort of baked pasta dish that my mom used to make all the time. It’s one of Nasch’s favorites. I can’t remember what it's called for the life of me. He might remember.”

Vector made a noise in agreement and turned towards the fire. This day was an emotional rollercoaster and after he took a bath, he’d lock himself in his room for the evening and fight anyone or anything that came knocking. He had enough with interacting for today and at this point, he might as well keep his mouth shut left he warrant any more talking.

So he did. He sat back on the couch and distanced himself from the room. He buried himself in his thoughts and didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until he was woken up by the almighty High Priestess and a plate of food. Nasch sat next to him, in between Vector and his first knight. They ate in silence and thanked Merag for the meal.

Merag left shortly after Durbe and he and Nasch sat alone on the sofa. He wasn’t going to start a conversation but if one happened, he’d be civil and respond. He had to make this game he was playing seem all the more real.

“The bath should be a decent temperature for you now if you want to get in,” Nasch said.

Vector thanked him, rose from his seat and walked into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and debated on locking it. After some time of staring at the lock, he decided against it. Next came the tricky part, disrobing without dislodging the splint. He saw Merag tie it right he just wasn’t sure if he could get the right tension in it if he did it himself.

He shuffled out of his trousers first. They fell to the floor, and he stepped out. Next was another easy feat, the socks. They slipped off with ease when Vector ran his foot along the back of his calf. He left those where they fell. Next was one of the hardest parts, his sweater. It was a thick and tight knitted stitch. It fit his torso well but the sleeves fell down just past his fingertips. He liked this style, but it was a pain to remove without turning it inside out. Now he had to worry about catching a thread on one of the wooden dowels of his splint. This would ruin the sweater and pull may of the stitches tighter than they should.

He decided to shuffle out of the right side first, keeping his left arm still and doing the majority of the work with his right hand as he pulled his head out of the hole. He paused for a moment as this was much more work than he expected. Next came the other arm. He put his hand in between the knit and the wooden dowel of the splint. He successfully pulled the sweater off and let it fall to the floor on top of his trousers.

Despite caring a great deal about the sweater, he left it there in a pile on the floor and turned his attention to the bathtub in the room's center. He walked towards it and noticed there was still steam rising from the water. He didn’t care to touch it with his hand before climbing in and was met with water that quickly turned the skin on his legs red as he lowered himself in. He didn’t care. This was the first bath he had in a while. He leaned his back against the edge of the bathtub and lowered himself in more, careful to keep his splint on the edge of the tub to not get it wet.

This was something he could get used to. He could at least call the Emperor his “benefactor” for lack of a better term. He realized that if he let Nasch get what he wanted, he could live luxuriously in the palace until he left. He couldn’t hold back the smile that rose to his face as he slipped his shoulders under the water. Though, when he compared the flip in Nasch’s personality to that of yesterday, he realized that he’d have to keep his guard up. This man was unstable.

Vector hadn’t realized how long he had been in the bath but he heard a knock at the door and without turning his head, he heard it open. “Just making sure that you’re alright,” Nasch said.

“Fine, thank you,” Vector replied. When he looked down at the water in front of him, he realized that it no longer had steam coming off of it. That was when the chill hit him.

‘It’s the middle of winter. Get out before you catch your death. You have a task to complete.’

“I was just getting out as a matter of fact,” Vector said.

“Let me know if you need anything.”

With that Nasch left and closed the door behind him. Vector pulled himself out of the tub and onto the floor dripping wet. He stood still to make sure he had correct footing and glanced around the room for a towel or something to dry himself off with. He saw a chair in the corner draped with a towel and carefully walked over towards it. He wrapped himself in the plush fabric of it and shivered for a few moments before it calmed down to nothing. He then walked back to where his clothes were and threw his sweater on before he wrapped the towel around his waist.

‘The water on the floor, Vector. Do something about that before he slips and dies.’

Right. He untied the towel from around his waist and spread it out across the water he got on the floor. When he turned around, Nasch stood behind him. He jumped and nearly slipped on a bit of water he missed with the towel. Nasch caught him by the shoulder with a chuckle.

“I didn’t hear you open the door,” Vector said, clutching his chest with a smile.

‘Make him believe you.’

“I heard the water hit the floor and figured you had gotten out.” Nasch let him walked over to the tub, kicking a loose tile out of the way to reveal a drain in the floor. He was dressed in leggings and a large blouse, his shoulder-length hair was half braided and falling apart without the proper fastening. For being an emotional mess, Nasch looked desirable.

He then bent down and pulled at something under the tub. The water flowed out of it and into the hole in the floor.

That was interesting.

“Everything made into this palace was put in with careful thought down to every last detail. The drain system for the tub is one of my personal favorites. Unfortunately, we haven’t figured out how to heat the water while it’s in the tub in a safe way,” Nasch chuckled. “Hopefully, someone figures it out because that’s a lot of work for one person.”

“I would have helped you but, my arm is out of commission for a little while.”

“Did Merag tell you how long?” he asked.

Vector rolled his eyes. “Four weeks at least.”

Nasch turned around and walked out of the bathroom. “You’re welcome to stay with me tonight. I hope you’ll find I tend to spoil my-” he paused, searching for the right word. “lovers to the best of my ability.”

Was he a lover? Who knew at this point? Maybe they’d put a more fitting name to it with time.

“I don’t want to bother you,” he replied. His plan was working better than expected. In a mere few hours Vector landed him a ticket to sleep in the Emperor’s bed. This was something he wouldn’t take tonight. He had to take things slow.

“You won’t be. My invitation will stand as long as this arrangement does,” Nasch said before he exited the room.

This was an amazing sign. In no time at all, he could have the Emperor eating out of the plan of his hand. Vector finished dressing quickly before he exited the room to find Nasch laying in his bed already buried in a book. He walked over to him and stood next to him. With no prompting, he leaned down as soon as Nasch looked up and kissed him hard.

Vector pulled away and smirked at him. “Goodnight,” he said.

‘This will work perfectly.’


	11. Survivor

**Winter: Year 3**

 

When he woke, Nasch was not alone. The Crown Prince of Austrania laid next to him, curled up under the covers and peacefully asleep. He wasn’t there when he went to bed, was he?

A large crash of thunder sounded from outside and it jolted the Prince from his sleep. Nasch held back a laugh at the thought the prince climbed in with him because of a thunderstorm.

“Sleep well, Nasch?” he asked softly.

“I did but I don’t remember you being here when I first fell asleep.”

“I figured your invitation still stood after I had some trouble falling asleep,” he replied as he settled back down into the pillows. “Your bed is so fucking comfortable.”

Nasch smiled and ran a hand through Vector’s hair before pulling himself out of bed and dressing in his formal attire. The chill wasn’t as bad this morning which he was thankful about. His hands still shook as he tried to buckle his belt though which made it more difficult than usual. He walked downstairs to attend the chapel services but became sidetracked on the way and stopped in his study just to have a glance at what needed to be done. Work had piled up overnight and with a sigh. Nasch sat down at his desk deciding to forego the services. He brought out his spectacles, cracked his knuckles and worked. It wasn’t too long until he heard a voice on the other side of his door.

“Nasch?”

“Come in,” he replied with a huff.

Damien appeared in the study, clutching a bundle of papers as he usually did. “The council called an emergency meeting, Nasch,” he said.

“Fuck. What’s it about?” he asked perturbed.

“Remember those riots right after you became Emperor?”

Nasch quickly rose from his seat and walked towards the door. “How could I forget? They were mere months after I came to power. They were because of me.”

“Well, we got word they never stopped. They went underground. Hurry.”

Nasch and Damien ran out of the library and into the hallway. They turned left and paused before they entered the meeting room to collect themselves. Once they settled Nasch pulled open the doors and stepped inside. Four out of the seven members were present at the moment and still waiting for the first Knight. That made five people they had to wait for and the Emperor was not a patient man when it came to emergency meetings.

Nasch figured he’d manage to get a synopsis of the chaos that was about to ensue and asked who called the meeting. One member stood, the man from Heratus. He walked over to the Emperor and whispered softly. “One member will not be present as he is under investigation.”

Nasch connected two and two. “Oh,” was all he managed to say. “Magis, I presume?”

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

Magis was Nasch’s main problem in the council. He opposed everything Nasch approved out of spite towards the Emperor. He was an older man, just about Nasch’s father’s age and hated anyone or anything relating to the royal family. It amused Nasch that the man who caused him trouble was now in trouble. His morbid curiosity took a hold of him as he replied. “It doesn’t look good, I presume.”

“No, sir. I won’t tell you much at the moment but they are using the same tactics as they were during the revolt,” he continued.

“You know how I detest those methods,” Nasch commented. “I don’t hold sympathy for any who use or support them. Everyone knows my stance on that.”

“Yes, sir but we need to discuss… damages. This could negatively affect your reign as we did not know. According to the documents we’ve recovered from Magis’s desk, this has been going on continuously for two years,” he said.

The riots right after he came to power resembled the revolt which pushed for reform and a unification of the Seven Lands. If the riots and torture were on the magnitude of either of those, this would not be an easy or short meeting. The other three council members and Durbe came in at the same time. They quickly took their seats, some oblivious to the reason they were called in.

“Without further ado. I am going to appoint Derin, from Heratus to explain the reason he called the meeting,” Nasch said. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.

“Thank you, sir. I am sure you all know of the riots that happened shortly after the Emperor took the throne,” He paused for a few moments, giving the men time to recall. “Unfortunately, they never stopped as we thought. They left the public eye and went underground. They performed the same brutal torture on hundreds in basements of homes and other secluded places. There is one known survivor of these.”

This caught Nasch’s interest. To his knowledge, he was the only one who survived this torture. “Hold on,” he said. “A survivor?”

“Yes, sir. I have the information right here for you.” 

He handed Nasch a small square of paper with a name, age, and location. Nasch glanced at it before responding again. “A little girl, five years old,” he paused. “This is deplorable.”

“Her father died when she was young and they killed her mother right before they injured her. She lives in the orphanage, the address you have, waiting to be adopted or found by a relative.”

A survivor. This was amazing news. For years Nasch was the only one who survived, now, there was another. A little girl without a family sat in an orphanage alone. The more he thought about it, the more his chest hurt. He had to meet her to let her know she wasn’t the only one who lived. Nasch had zoned out of the conversation and had trouble joining back in.

“-documents and recordings found in Derin’s desk by the royal guards after gaining reasonable suspicion. As the council, it is our duty to go through them. Gentlemen, we have a lot of work on our hands.” With his final word, he sat down.

The room remained silent as the men shifted uncomfortably in their seats. They were all astounded at the information they had just been presented with and had no idea what to really do with it. After a moment of tense silence, Durbe had the idea to dive into the papers. They took each document and read it aloud among themselves. That way all the men would be on the same page when it came time for a trial.

Nasch contemplated how ethically correct it would be to force a man to retire from the council. Even if the people of Donasus nominated Magis and kept pushing to keep him in office, this would not stand with the Emperor. The people might have had a large influence but Nasch had the final say. He had to agree on each member of his council and frankly, his opinion had changed on Magis. These members were original, brought forth with the nation itself and there was never an incident like this before. 

One by one each paper was read through and charges were added to the long list that Damien kept track of. At the last letter, Nasch and Durbe were ready to be done. Magus was doomed to spend the rest of his life behind bars and Nasch was more than happy to hand him his sentence.

This form of torture was something they couldn’t take lightly in any way, shape, or form and good God, Nasch hated talking about it. After the meeting, he wanted to curl up on his bed and sleep away the rest of the evening. However, he already made his choice how he would spend it. He would travel with Durbe to the address on the piece of paper Derin handed him and meet the little girl. He had no further information on her and silently prayed that she was still at the address.

The last paper was placed down on the table to be put in a file and brought up at the trial. The date wasn’t set but Nasch wanted to damn him as quickly as possible. It was interesting how he could ruin someone’s life with a simple sentence. It was a power he didn’t feel worthy of.

Nasch was given a nod by the council member who finally took his seat with a sigh. Nasch stood and adjourned the meeting then promptly took his exit. Durbe followed quickly behind as usual. “I have a favor to ask of you,” Nasch told him.

Durbe looked at him somewhat confused for a moment but switched his gaze to the hallway in front of him. “What would that be?”

“As soon as humanly possible, I would like to see the girl who survived and I need you to come with me.”

“Are you planning on doing this tonight?”

“If you can.”

Durbe sighed and stayed silent for a few moments as they turned left in the hallway to head for the stairs. “I’ll go get my bag, we can leave as soon as you’re ready.”

A jolt of excitement ran through Nasch as they walked up the staircase and he felt as if his footsteps became lighter as they entered the hallway. Durbe turned into his room to grab his bag and Nasch practically ran to his own to change as he usually did. He quickly closed the door to his bedroom behind him and pulled on a pair of cheaper looking tan trousers with a white blouse that somewhat matched. It was his usual attire for leaving the palace along with his grey cardigan and a wool jacket. He found it much more comfortable than his expensive regal attire which comprised several layers of scratchy fabric. It was topped with a thin dress jacket which buttoned across his chest. He had three of them one purple, one blue, and one black.

Nasch had never worn the black one though. It was meant for funerals. He hoped he’d never have to wear it.

He pulled his grey cardigan from its usual place, draped over the headboard, and pulled it on. He walked out of his bedroom to find Durbe dressed and ready to go. They walked together out of the room and Nasch, without missing a beat, pulled his overcoat off of the hook on the way out. This was the only item of clothing that didn’t change when he was leaving the palace. It was long, black and made of thick wool. Yes, it looked expensive, but it did its job well which is why Nasch allowed it. He couldn’t find a cheaper looking coat that kept him warm the same way this one did.

They swiftly walked through the palace and exited through the main gate. Durbe let the guards know they would return that evening. They stepped off of the bridge and Nasch pulled up the slip of paper that hadn’t left his hand. He handed it to Durbe who knew the area better and let him lead.

The orphanage was on the other side of the Capital City and would take time to get to with the few inches of snow that covered the ground. It wasn’t enough to warrant snowshoes but it would be if it kept falling as continuously as it did. “I love the snow but dear God, I don’t want to dig my snowshoes out of the closet,” Nasch said.

Durbe chuckled. “Mine are always out. I just never feel the need to put them back.”

“I rarely leave the palace in the winter anyway. It’s just not worth it.”

“If you’re walking in it, snow is easier to walk through than rain.”

Nasch took a second before responding again. “That was off topic but I agree.”

“Oh, turn left next time you get the chance. But yes, I do enjoy the snow a lot more than the rain. I used to live in the mountains of Donasus, you know.”

“Yes, and I am from the Gap where everyone is so poor that no one cares,” Nasch said sarcastically. “Brag about it why don’t you.”

Durbe laughed and hit him in the shoulder. “My upbringing wasn’t any easier than yours was Nasch.”

“I don’t know, you never talk about your life before you became my first knight,” Nasch replied.

It was true. Durbe never mentioned anything of his family for whatever reason. Nasch never pried but occasionally Durbe would get close to speaking of them. It was a total mystery, and it always bothered him.

“I’m not proud of my upbringing. You know well,” he replied.

“Neither am I but as the Emperor, nothing I do is truly a secret, is it?”

“Not even your time with Vector in your study yesterday,” Durbe added with a chuckle. Before Nasch had the chance to reply, Durbe spoke again. “The building is up on your right. The broken down one.”

Nasch saw it as soon as the words left Durbe’s mouth. The wooden fence around the front was falling apart and patches of the wooden pannelling had come off with the wind. It was in bad condition and Nasch could only hope that the inside looked somewhat better. “God I hate orphanages. The kids are all packed in the worst of living conditions. I doubt she’s gotten any form of proper medical care.”

They stepped into the small hard in the front and walked up to the door. “What’s the girl’s name anyway?” Durbe asked.

“Iris,” Nasch replied.

“And you have no idea how she’s going to be.”

“I have nothing except this paper. I knew I had to see it for myself,” Nasch said as he turned to knock on the door. “That there was someone else, I mean.”

He knocked steady and hard on the wooden door. A woman answered and without another word she quickly ushered the men inside. The interior of the building was in a much better state than the outside. Nasch was satisfied that the inside was inhabitable and extremely homey.

“What brings you two out in this weather?” the woman asked.

“I’m looking to speak to a girl in your care. Her name is Iris,” Nasch said.

“She’s ill. Might I ask why?”

“She survived the Donasissean torture, and I got word. I had to come and meet her.” Nasch reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a leather cord. He held it in his mouth as he twisted his hair into a messy bun and tied it back. He turned around and made sure that his own scarring was visible to the woman. “I hope you understand.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. “Now I do. That might do her some good. Might I ask your name?”

“Nasch McAine,” he said. “My friend over there is Durbe Galanos.”

“Wait,” she said with a confused glance. “Those names.”

“Yes,” Nasch said with a laugh and a smile. “I am. I prefer to dress down if I go out into the city without the full escort. It attracts less attention.”

She nodded and her relaxed stance switched to one more formal as it usually did when Nasch went out more under the radar. “Right this way, Emperor,” she said.

“Call me Nasch, please. You don’t have to act so formally either, Miss. I’m simply here to see Iris.”

He turned around to glance at Durbe who stepped closer to the fire to warm himself. A child approached him, wide-eyed and curious at this stranger. He smiled at the boy warmly and knelt down to meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry, I never asked your name,” Nasch said.

“Marina,” She replied. She knocked softly on the door in front of her and entered quietly. “Iris? There’s someone here to see you.”

Nasch heard the girl cough from outside of the room and hesitated following Marina. “I’m sorry,” she said. “She’s prone to illness.”

Nasch hesitated, he would probably catch whatever illness she had. He quickly weighed his options but now that he was here, he couldn‘t turn back. He went in slowly and carefully, listening to the creak of the floorboards beneath his boots. He walked towards the girl laying in the only bed in the room and sat on the edge of the thin mattress.

Iris sat up slowly in return and faced him. “Who are you?”

“I’m Nasch,” he replied quietly. “I wanted to meet you.”

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Why would anyone want to meet me? I’m broken.” Her voice cracked at the end of her statement and tears welled in her eyes.

That statement hit him right in the chest. He remembered that feeling well and still felt it often. ‘I’m broken.’ These weren’t thoughts for someone so young to be having. It broke his heart and took every ounce of power within him not to cry with her. “You aren’t broken, sweetheart,” he said as he placed a hand softly on her shoulder.

“Those bad men hurt me,” she said. He heard her holding back a cry and immediately brought her into his arms as a failed attempt to stop it.

“I know they hurt you.” He rubbed comforting circles on the center of her back. “I know.”

He had no idea what he was expecting in meeting her but this wasn’t on the list of possibilities. He twisted slightly and pulled his leg up onto the bed so he wasn’t twisted awkwardly. He held her tightly to him. God was she thin. Nasch could feel every rib as he rubbed her back and let her cry. Her hair was thin and brittle but it was long. It fell halfway down her back and caught on the fabric of her simple dress. He felt her scar too. It was raised and went halfway down her back.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held onto his coat like a vice. Nasch saw every bone in her arms as she did so. He felt anger at the woman, Marina, for not feeding her but realized the other child by the fireplace wasn’t this thin. He remembered she mentioned Iris was prone to sickness which was most likely the cause of this. No child should be this deathly thin. Her sobs calmed down and turned to whimpers and her grip on his coat had loosened slowly and fallen. She pulled away and Nasch let her.

He figured that this was as good a time as any to show her the scar on his neck. “They hurt me too when I was little. You and I are the only ones that survived. I wanted to make sure you know you aren’t alone, Iris.”

With every word she said to him and every time she reached for him Nasch was met with the reality that he was about to make a rash decision. He didn’t consult with the council about bringing her into the palace. He didn’t even plan on adopting a child but he couldn’t leave her here.

As soon as he turned back around, she fell back into his arms and sobbed into his shoulder repeating, “They hurt us. I hate them,” into his shoulder.

He held onto her tightly as she cried more. He turned and moved her so that she was sitting in his lap. Then he turned to Marina who dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. “Can you afford her medical care? It's quite obvious that she is in need of a great deal of it.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I was hoping someone would come along and adopt her before-” She cut herself off and turned away to look out the small window in the room before she began to cry.

“Well, it just so happens that the healer that helped me is still alive and lives in the capital,” Nasch said

Iris rubbed harshly at her eyes with the back of her hand and laid her head on his chest with a small smile. This sealed this decision. He couldn’t leave her here to die and the way things were going in here, she certainly would at no fault of the woman owning the building. He would take her to the palace with him after a quick visit to his healer on the way back. She would live a life that she never could have imagined for herself. He would keep that a secret for now.

“Pack your things, little one,” Nasch said. He set her down on the bed and much to his surprise, she stood.

“What?”

He knelt down so he was eye level with her. “Pack your things. You’re coming home with me.”

With all of her strength, she jumped for joy and fell into his arms with a giggle. “Home! I’m going home!”

Nasch couldn’t help a smile at her reaction. Durbe now stood in the doorway wide-eyed and in shock as he watched Iris laugh in Nasch’s arms. “After a quick visit to a healer, you will.”

Iris pulled away and her expression changed quickly. “Nasch, I don’t have many things to bring with me.”

“That’s alright, bring what you have. I can give you what you need.”

“Okay,” she said with a smile. She limped slowly around the room and brought her belongings and placed them onto the bed. There is what Nasch was looking for, the issues walking. The last thing she grabbed was a stuffed doll which she lovingly placed on top of the mismatched items. “Oh, Miss Marina?”

“Yes, love.”

Iris turned to the woman who knelt in front of her. Her face was red. Despite this, she had a smile on her face. “Do you have a bag? This is a lot to carry.”

Durbe stepped forward and took his leather messenger bag off of his shoulder. “Here, use mine. I’m headed back with you two, anyway.”

Nasch turned to him and winked. He stood and whispered in his ear. “Don’t tell her yet. I want it to be a surprise.”

Durbe nodded and stood back in the doorway. He watched with a stern expression as he normally did. Nasch returned to Iris and helped her place the items in Durbe’s bag. He took note of all of them. A dress that was far too big for her was the last thing to go in.

“It was mommy’s. I don’t wanna lose it.”

“I’ll keep it safe, I promise,” he said as he pulled the bag over his shoulder. He stood and offered his hand for her to hold which she took. “Wait. You don’t have a coat, do you?”

She looked at the ground, embarrassed. “No.”

Nasch let go of her hand and took off his overcoat and then his cardigan which he gave to her. He pulled his coat back on and buttoned it. “I want that back,” he laughed. “It’s my favorite sweater.”

“No promises,” Iris replied with a smile. She turned and picked up the doll off of the bed. She held it high above her head and showed it to Nasch. “This is Marin by the way!”

“She’s lovely,” Nasch replied. “Are you ready to go?”

Iris gave one last glance around the room before nodding to him. “I am. Can I carry her?”

“Absolutely,“ Nasch replied.

Together they walked out of the room slowly. It took a while and as soon as they left the room, Iris erupted in a coughing fit. Nasch knelt down and picked her back up. She wrapped her legs around his waist tightly and her arms around his neck. “It might be easier if I carry you,” he said to her with a smile.

This little girl would bring so much joy into his life and he was excited about it. She would be a breath of fresh air to the grueling routine of the palace.

Nasch reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He left it on the circular table as he passed it. He knew well just how much money was in there but it didn’t matter. He had what he needed in his arms and her smile didn’t fade the entire time he held her. This was a good decision, and he was sure of it.

Marina came walking close behind him she paused and looked at the item. She held it up and walked over to give it back to him. As soon as Nasch reached the door. which Durbe opened for him, he turned to her. “Keep it and the money in it. Promise me you’ll fix up the outside, Marina.”

“I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

“I’ll make you a deal then, you take three-quarters of it. I’ll take the rest.”

“Half,” she replied. “And you take your wallet, I have no use for it.”

“That’s a deal,” Nasch said.

Marina took half of the money inside and went to place the item back in Nasch’s coat pocket.

“This money won’t go to waste, I assure you. Words will never express how thankful I am to you.” She bowed deeply at the hips to him and stood to walk him out of the small yard to the street.

“Words will never express how grateful I am to you for keeping her safe until I could meet her,” Nasch said

“I am just as grateful as you are, Emperor,” she said. “For taking her.”

“Nasch, please,” he replied.

“Nasch,” she repeated, correcting herself.

He thanked her again and made a mental note to return sooner or later to make sure she truthfully fixed up the outside of the building. He carefully walked down the steps with Iris in his arms as she coughed roughly. It shook her body and Nasch realized how great of an undertaking this was. A slight panic flooded him as he held her tighter to him. Could he really do this?

He could absolutely afford her medical care and give her everything she needed and more. However, he wasn’t sure if he was mentally stable enough to do it. He knew his sanity would leave him eventually and prayed that he could keep it hidden from her the next time he found himself in the midst of a breakdown. 

“Durbe,” Nasch said. “Iris and I are going to Jethro. You should head back and give them word that I have her.”

Durbe agreed and when they made it to the main road, they parted with a wave. Nasch walked on through the snow with the little corl pressed tightly to his chest. He decided to fill the silence with some trivial questions to her to better understand her. “So how old are you, Iris?”

“Five,” she replied after a coughing fit.

“My goodness!” he said. “I would have guessed that you were at least ten!”

She giggled and coughed more. “I turn six in late spring.”

Nasch hummed in response. The sun was going down rapidly and causing shadows to dance on the pristine snow beneath his feet. He turned through the streets and walked up to a house he knew well. He sighed in relief when he saw the lit lamps behind the closed shudders. He placed Iris down on her feet and knocked on the door. She grabbed a hold of his hand and looked at him.

“Don’t be scared. They’re good friends of mine. He’s been my healer since I was little.”

“Oh,” she said as she looked at the door.

A woman opened it and smiled when she saw Nasch standing there. “Nasch! Wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

He smiled as he hugged her with one arm. “Iris, this is Ms. Anna. Her husband is the man who will help you.”

Iris tried to respond but was met with another coughing fit instead. Anna stepped aside and Nasch picked the little girl up to bring her inside. He placed her on a chair in front of the fire and knelt in front of her to comfort her and calm some of her nerves. God, she was cold. He took his overcoat off and wrapped it around her like a blanket which he should have done before. He berated himself for not thinking of that earlier. Despite the embarrassment he felt, he smiled at her. When she looked up he could see just how tired she was.

“We’ll be home soon,” he said.

“Okay,” she replied.

Jethro walked into the room and quickly took over Nasch’s place. He stood to the side with his hand on Iris’s shoulder to let her know that he was there and he wasn’t leaving her side. She leaned on him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pressed her face into is side when Jethro leaned forward.

“It’s all right, Iris,” Nasch said. He pulled her arms from around him and held her hands in his as he kneeled down beside her. “There’s no need to be scared.”

Once she finished Jethro asked her questions. He figured the awful cough was a good place to start. “Iris, right?”

She nodded and held Nasch’s hand tighter.

“Beautiful name, love. Now how long have you been sick for?” he asked

She looked over at Nasch who knelt by her side for reassurance. He nodded and smiled. “Go ahead.”

“A week since my cough got worse.”

“And it has gotten no better?”

“No, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me ‘sir’, love. I’m not one for formalities.” As Jethro finished speaking he shot Nasch a glance and a smirk.

Nasch had to hold back a chuckle. He hated being called ‘Emperor’ but knew it was a form of respect. That and the Royal Guard escort that he was with wouldn’t hesitate to restrain and question anyone who called him other than the title. However, if the guard were around when Nasch told them otherwise, the person he was talking to would be fine. The guard still looked uncomfortable with it though.

“Alright Iris, can you stand up for me?” Jethro asked her.

She let the overcoat fall onto the chair and stood slowly. She grabbed Nasch’s hand tighter for support. Jethro kept a straight face but Nasch could tell that he was disappointed. Not in Iris but for the situation she was in.

“Remind you of someone?” Nasch asked to ease the tension in the air.

“God, yeah,” Jethro whispered. “Just like you when you started to walk again. Turn around for me, love.”

Iris did that too. She limped slowly around and showed him her back. Jethro felt her spine carefully and when he hit the middle she yelped in pain and began to cry herself into another coughing fit.

“Same spot too, isn’t it?” Nasch asked.

“Hers is lower which explains why she’s walking now.” Jethro laced his fingers together and placed his hands in his lap. “Iris, you can sit back down now, love. No need to cry. I’m here to help you but I have to figure out what’s wrong first.”

“It just hurts,” she said quietly.

Nasch carefully picked her up and sat down in the chair. He placed her in his lap and wrapped his overcoat around her. He held her tightly. No child should have to go through what he did. And God be damned he would hunt down the men that allowed this to happen and make them suffer for doing so. He had no idea that Iris existed a few hours ago, but he already felt himself growing too attached. Maybe this was a good thing.

Nasch let her rest her head on his chest. She closed her eyes tightly and whimpered. This was heartbreaking but Nasch knew she could get better with the right care. After all, he did.

“I have one more question for you, love,” Jethro said.

Iris didn’t move. She was overwhelmed and exhausted. She made a noise to let him know she heard him.

“How long ago did you get hurt?”

Without opening her eyes and letting go of Nasch she responded. “Last autumn.”

Jethro and Nasch locked eyes in surprise. Nasch chuckled and shuffled her in his lap. “You’ve got some moxy, Iris,” he said to her. “I took two years to get back on my feet.”

Anna appeared into the room with two bags of assorted herbs. These were most likely for the cough that Iris had. “You’ve got yourself a strong girl there, Nasch. Never let her go.”

“I don’t plan on it,” he replied. The thought crossed his mind that this little girl would be the only woman he’d ever allow himself to love. Not in an odd way, of course. He wanted to protect her and hide her from all the bad things in the world, which there was a lot of.

“So wait. How did this happen? You taking her, I mean,” Jethro asked.

Nasch sighed and smiled. He glanced at Iris who’s hand fell into her lap and she was drifting off into sleep. “There was an emergency meeting called. There were riots in Donasus a few years back. We thought we stopped them but apparently, they went underground. I had a note handed to me with her name and an address and heard she survived. I knew I had to meet her. So I did. She was in an orphanage a few streets over and obviously in rough condition. I couldn’t leave her there to die.”

As soon as the words left Nasch’s mouth he glanced down at her in shock, hoping she didn’t hear him. When he noticed that she didn’t stir, he relaxed. “There’s only two of us. That we know of anyway,” he continued.

“So you adopted her without telling anyone?” Anna chuckled.

“Durbe was with me. I sent him back to warn the others.”

Jethro chuckled. “You might as well get on your way. I’ll stop by tomorrow to check up on her and come up with a plan to get her strength back. Be careful with food. She’s deathly thin and we have to work her back up to a normal amount of food. Give her a cup of broth tomorrow morning. I should be there around midday and we’ll play it by ear.”

Nasch shifted Iris and woke her up. He took his sweater from her and put it on. He then decided to wrap his overcoat around her and pick her up in his arms.

Anna grabbed a knitted blanket from a chair in the corner and thrust it into Nasch’s arms. “Wrap this around her instead of your overcoat. It’ll keep her warm. Jethro can get it back tomorrow when he comes.”

Nasch took his overcoat and put it on without buttoning it. He stood Iris up and wrapped the blanket around her. He then took the herbs that Anna handed him and placed them in his pockets. He placed his arm under Iris’s legs and the other on her lower back. He picked her up and held her close. Anna fixed the blanket around her front and Iris whispered a small “thank you”.

Nasch smiled and headed for the door which Jethro opened for him. “Be safe getting home, alright?”

“I will,” Nasch replied as he stepped out into the cold. The sun had fully set and the stars above him shone brighter than he ever remembered them. He took this as a good sign and set out for the main road back to the palace. He found himself hoping that she still hadn’t caught on to his massive surprise and couldn’t stop the smile that spread to his mouth.

The walk back to the main bridge seemed to take forever. The snow had just began to fall in earnest once he stepped onto the cobbles of it and he thanked the powers above that it started at a good time. He made it to the guardhouse and checked back in. Iris slept through one hell of a conversation with one of them. He could tell they were dumbfounded at the child in his arms.

“Durbe was correct?”

“Yes, he was.”

“Well then, good luck Emperor.”

Nasch smiled as they let him pass and he continued the rest of the way down the bridge. He climbed the stairs slowly and once he reached the top, he woke Iris up. “I have a bit of a surprise for you,” he told her when she opened her eyes.

She looked above him at the large structure and turned her head to the left to look at the wooden double doors where the guards were waiting for a signal. “What?” she asked.

Nasch set her down on her feet and adjusted the blanket that was wrapped around her. “How do you feel about living in the palace with me?”

“You live in the palace?” she asked, clearly confused.

“I actually own it, so to speak.”

He watched her think and could pinpoint the moment that she caught on. “You’re the Emperor!”

Nasch laughed at her excitement. “I am.”

“Does this mean I get to be a princess?”

“Well, not yet. There are a few things we have to take care of before you can officially be a princess.”

If she wasn’t so exhausted Nasch knew she would have jumped for joy again, instead, she looked forward at the doors. “This is a good surprise,” she said with a smile.

“I think so,” he replied. He knelt down to meet her eyes with a soft smile. “Now, I want you to do something that will be a little hard for you. I want you to walk into your new home.”

“I’m not very good at walking,” she said shyly.

“I’m willing to take all the time into world if it means you get to walk into your new home.”

Nasch stood and took a hold of her hand. “Are you ready, Iris?”

“I am,” she said. It was the first time he heard confidence in her voice and it made his heart melt.

He raised his arm and the guards in front of him opened the doors. Iris limped forward slowly and Nasch advanced with her at the same pace. He let her lean on him and hold him tightly for support as they walked into the final guard checkpoint and into the palace. Once they were inside enough, the guards closed the doors behind them. Nasch picked her up quickly and spun her around with a laugh.

“Welcome home, Iris,” he said.


	12. Healing

**Winter: Year 3**

 

It wasn’t too long after Iris walked slowly into her new home that she found herself the center of attention in Nasch’s sitting room as she waited for Nasch to fix her a cup of tea with the herbs that Jethro had given him. She sat wrapped in blankets on his sofa and chatted happily with the High Priestess of the Seven Lands. It wasn’t too long after that Nasch handed her a ceramic mug and told her to sip from it once it cooled down a bit. He sat next to her on the sofa and she moved over so she could lean on him.

It was an odd feeling to have, really. Nasch never thought he could grow so attached to a little girl he had only known for a few hours. What was more disturbing was that he allowed himself. After a while he concluded that if anything happened to the little girl he would not hesitate to kill for her.

“So you’re twins?” Iris asked Merag.

“Yes we are,” the High Priestess replied.

“That must be interesting. I don’t have any brothers or sisters,” Iris said.

Nasch sighed and crossed his legs as he hung his arm on the back of the sofa. “It’s interesting all right,” he added.

Merag laughed. “That’s a good word for it. A lot of people thing Nasch and I act way too similarly and it scares some people.”

“I mean we used to share a room when we were little so I’d be surprised if we didn’t,” he said.

“You shared a room with all of the spare ones in the palace?”

Nasch chuckled. “Well, we didn’t always live in the palace. I wasn’t always supposed to be the Emperor.”

“What? Really? How did you get to be the Emperor then?”

Nasch sighed. “To be honest I have no idea. It just happened.”

“Where are you from?”

“Pelia.”

Iris gasped and turned towards him with a sparkle in her eyes. “I’m from Pelia too! We moved to Heratus after daddy died because mommy had family there.”

Nasch glanced at Merag from at the other end of the sofa with a smile. This coincidence was sure to be a pleasant one and one that would lessen the council’s hatred for adopting a child on a whim. “Do you remember where in Pelia you’re from?” He asked her.

“No. I was really little when we left.” The room fell silent for a brief moment as Iris took a sip of the tea and made a face in disgust at it. “This is gross,” she added as she tried to hand the mug to Nasch.

“You have to drink it all to help with your cough. I could put a spoonful of honey in it to try and make it sweeter but I don’t think it's going to work.”

“I don’t want this anymore. I’ll deal with the cough.” As if on cue she began to cough again.

Nasch quickly took the mug from her hands to be sure that she wouldn’t spill it on herself. “You sure you’ll deal with that,” he said skeptically.

“Nevermind. I’ll take the tea back,” she said softly after she lowered the hand she was coughing into back on her lap.

Nasch chuckled as he handed her the mug back with a smile. He glanced out into the hallway to see that the buzzing of maid activity had died down. Thanks to Merag and Durbe, they had Nasch’s old room cleaned and fresh linens placed on the bed for Iris. this kind of activity was one that he could deal with even though he still wasn’t too fond of it.

“After you’re done with that cup of tea, you might as well get to bed. I think the maids are finished cleaning now,” Nasch told the little girl.

Iris took another large gulp of her tea and attempted to stop herself from gagging to no avail. “Nasch, this is so gross. Can you put honey in it?”

“Sure, love.”

He stood from his seat and walked to the cabinet where he knew he had enough honey for one more spoonful. He rummaged around for a bit, taking glass jars out and placing them on the floor next to him as he searched for the last little bit. Before he had the chance to turn around Vector appeared behind him.

“What are you looking for?” he asked.

“The honey. Did you use the last of it?” Nasch asked him.

“There was still a little left when It put it back up here,” Vector said as he stood on his toes and reached to the top shelf. He brought the jar down and handed it to Nasch with a smirk. Nasch detested that Vector was slightly taller than he was. Nasch was positive that when Vector came for his coronation, he was slightly shorter.

“Figures that you’d put it somewhere that I couldn’t see. This is all I have left till spring.” It was a trivial thing to be upset about but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t.

All Vector did was laugh as he walked away and sat on the bricks in front of the hearth.

“Who are you?” Iris asked him.

Vector jumped and turned around quickly. “I think a better question would be ‘Who are you’ Miss?”

She giggled. “I’m Iris.”

Vector stood and sat on the ground in front of her. “Well then, it's lovely to meet you, Iris. I’m Vector, one of Nasch’s friends.”

The Emperor had to stop himself from laughing at that statement. ‘friend’ didn’t seem like the right word to use either. He’d leave it for now though, he had better things to attend to. Once he found a teaspoon he scraped the remainder of the honey onto it he placed it in Iris’s mug. He then set the empty jar beside the fireplace to be cleaned after Iris had gone to bed.

He sat down in the place he once occupied and assumed his former position with a sigh. This was an interesting day. Not too long after Iris quickly finished her tea and handed Nasch the empty mug. Her nose was scrunched in disgust as she did so and Nasch couldn’t help but laugh. “Did the honey help any?”

“No,” she replied with a yawn.

“Time for bed?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

Nasch stood in front of her and grabbed her hands. “I want you to walk into your room. Its something I want you to do every night so you can get used to using your legs again.”

Iris pulled herself off of the sofa and let the blankets fall onto it. “It’s going to take a while.”

“I know but the more you walk, the easier it’ll get.”

“Is that what you did?”

“It is.”

With that, Iris bid goodnight to Merag and Vector with a hug and took Nasch’s hand as they walked together slowly out of the sitting room and into the hallway. Nasch watched her carefully to make sure that he would be able to catch her if she lost her footing. Her gait was unstable and wobbly. He remembered well how frustrating it was to want to run and play as children did but not being able to.

“Did you put Marin in my room?” Iris asked after a while. She was slightly out of breath and Nasch had a feeling that she would start coughing soon.

“I handed her to one of the maids. She should be ii your room.”

“Good.”

Iris kept walking. She was unsteady for sure but she was persistent. Nasch was amazed that when he offered to carry her the rest of the way, she declined. “I can do this,” she said. “You said doing this every night will help me.”

“Yes it will,” Nasch replied.

Eventually, they arrived in the bedroom and Iris walked with Nasch right to her bed. Nasch let go of her hand and headed to the wardrobe that was his once and opened it to find dresses that he knew from somewhere but couldn’t place properly. All the way towards the left was a small white chemise he was sure would fit the little girl. He walked back over to where she was and discovered that she didn’t take any time to explore her surroundings and instead attempted to climb onto the mattress. She struggled as the bed was slightly too high and her legs weren’t strong enough and looked at Nasch for help.

“Change into this first, it’ll be more comfortable than the dress that you’re wearing,” he said as he handed her the item.

She looked around somewhat worried before Nasch took her shoulders and pointed to a divider next to the wardrobe for her to change behind. She hobbled over and behind it and returned some moments later struggling to tie the cord that tightened the collar. She held her other, simple dress over her arm as she did so. Nasch smiled and knelt in front of her to help her and as he did so he took her old dress.

“I want to keep that,” she said.

“Can I ask why?”

“It’ll show me to never forget where I came from."

Nasch’s heart melted and he agreed. He folded the item carefully and placed it on the nightstand so he could keep it safe in his closet.”

Iris walked over towards the bed and struggled to get on top of it. She looked at Nasch for help again and he lifted her up and sat her down. He then gave her time to shuffle and make herself comfortable before he sat on the edge of the bed. Iris immediately closed her eyes and curled up, facing him.

“What do you think?” Nasch asked her.

“Tired,” she replied.

Nasch chuckled and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. This would need to be cut short in a few days so that it was able to grow back stronger once she got proper nutrition. He’d hold off on telling her that though. For now, the little girl was half asleep and Nasch couldn’t take his eyes off of her. In a few hours, this little girl stole his heart and by no means did he want it back. She could keep it. She needed it after all.

Iris sat up abruptly. She frantoay looked around the dark room. “Can you find Marin? I can't sleep without her.”

Nasch quickly looked around, glancing over his shoulder at the various surfaces in the room. He retrieved the doll from the nightstand next to him and tucked it close to Iris. She wrapped her arms around it and pulled it close to her chest.

“Thanks,” she said.

Nasch pulled the comforter up to her shoulders with a smile. “You are absolutely welcome, little one. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay,” she replied softly.

“My bedroom door is open in case you need something. Don’t hesitate to come in.”

She made a noise to let him know that he was heard. Nasch lingered in the doorway for a few moments before turning to leave. He decided to leave her bedroom door open too. If she ended up getting scared, there was no need for her to slow herself down worrying about opening doors and things. As he walked down the hallway, panic rose in his chest. He had no idea how to take care of a child. How could he take her in with no prior preparations? He walked quickly to his sitting room and sat down on the couch, holding his head in his hands.

“What the fuck was I thinking?” he asked no one in particular. “I don’t know how to raise a child!”

Merag sensed the distress in is voice and in order to avoid an all out episode she moved close to him and put her arm around his shoulders. “Does anyone really know?” she asked.

“I’ve only known her for an afternoon and all I know about her is that she was hurt last autumn and that she’s from Pelia,” he replied just as distressed as before.

“That’s not true, Nasch. You know it isn’t. You know a lot more about her than you think. Because she lived, she is strong just like you. While I never saw you as a father, I can tell you one thing; that you’re all she has. What better person to take care of her than someone who knows what it feels like to go through what she has?”

Nasch swallowed hard and let out the breath he was holding. He looked at his twin slightly confused. “How do you always know just what to say?”

Merag took her arm back and moved into her former position. “Part of the job I guess. That girl does have a lot of fight in her though. You can see it in her eyes,” she said.

She was right. Despite Iris being weak and frail, her spirit contained so much courage and strength that Nasch couldn’t even fathom. She was able to allow herself be carried away from her orphanage that she somehow ended up in after she was hurt by a complete stranger that showed her a scar. There was also an insane amount of trust in her heart. That was something even Nasch figured he could learn from.

“That is true. She’s a miracle,” Nasch said as he sat back and crossed his legs. “What’s for dinner by the way?”

“Vector made it. Rather, is trying to. I don’t think he’s ever had a proper chance to cook.”

“Well, he grew up in a palace. It would only make sense that he’s not odd like us,” Nasch laughed.

“I’m sitting right here. I can hear every word you’re saying,” Vector said from his seat at the desk.

Nasch glanced behind him to find that Vector was sketching again. Nasch stood and sat on the desk right next to whatever Vector had laid out in front of him to find that he was cleaning up a sketch of Iris holding a cup of tea while leaning on Nasch. It was slightly alarming how good he was at remembering details because Nasch was sure he didn't see Vector's sketchbook in his hands when he sat by the hearth.

“When did you start that?” He asked.

“I was sitting right in front of you when I started, did you not see?”

Nasch chuckled, “Was I supposed to?”

He sat for a few moments and watched as Vector meticulously progressed as he cleaned up his drawing. He added thicker lines where he knew he was going to keep them but struggled with certain details on Iris. Nasch held back a comment on how her hair was longer than what he had drawn but kept it silent. Nasch's eyes drifted up from the paper and focused on Vector's face. His concentration was adorable as he bit his lip and squinted his eyes slightly. He wanted to grab his face and kiss him. It was such a shame that Merag was in the room as they had to keep things about their arrangement quiet for as long as they continued.

Nasch was no stranger to keeping affairs quiet and denying rumors but there was no need to feed the prying eyes. Merag was extremely trustworthy, this he knew. However, she had a tendency to let things slip accidentally from time to time. Nasch wasn't about to take any chances. Instead of a kiss, Nasch settled on brushing a piece of Vector's hair behind his ear after he watched it loosen and fall from it's tie. Vector looked up and nuzzled his face into Nasch's hand with a smile before he returned to work on his sketch.

It was then the exhaustion hit Nasch. Much like Iris, he had long day full of adrenaline and a mix of feelings. He decided he could do without supper for the evening and bit his sister and Vector goodnight before he head into his bedroom. He unfastened his boots quickly and changed into a pair of riding leggings before he propped open his bedroom door and lit the fireplace to take the chill off of the room. He would let it die as he slept and clean it out in the morning.

As soon as he laid down in bed and made himself comfortable he realized that it got particularly dark in the hallway at night. He didn't want an anxious child who couldn't walk properly to fall and not see where she was going after she did so. Nasch lit the oil lamp on the nightstand and placed it outside his door off to the side so it was out of the way. He turned the wick up just enough so that he was sure she would be able to see it from her room but not enough that all of the oil inside would be used up. He then used that flame to light another oil lamp which he placed on his nightstand. When he was satisfied and sure Iris would be comfortable he laid back down in bed and fell asleep rapidly.

Just as he expected, he was stirred from his sleep by Iris who stood next to him in tears. She clutched her doll to her chest tightly.

“Nasch,” she said. “I'm scared.”

Nasch turned towards her and sat up with a smile. He helped her onto the bed and over him to the middle of it where she settled down under the covers. She laid her head on his arm which he so foolishly left extended next to him. He heard her sigh as she settled down next to him and she adjusted her arms so she could wipe the tears from her face.

Nasch turned onto his side to look at her and put his free arm around her. “There's no need to be scared, Iris. I know it's big but there's nothing bad about this place.”

“I know. I just am.”

“And that's alright,” he replied.

Iris shuffled onto her back and looked up at the canopy above Nasch's bed. “What are the curtains for?” She asked.

“To trap heat in when it gets really cold. I don't use them because I don't like not being able to see my door if it's open,” he replied.

“Oh.” Iris was silent for a few more moments before she asked another question. “Is that a story on the tapestry?”

Nasch nearly forgot he pinned a tapestry on the canopy. He switched onto his back and adjusted Iris so that she wasn't laying on his arm. “It is.”

“I can't read. What's the story?”

Nasch sighed and found himself smiling. “It's the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, my favorite legend.”

“What's it about?”

“Do you want the whole story?”

“Please.”

Nasch looked up at the images sewn into the dark blue cloth and pointed to the first one in the top left corner. “That is Orpheus. He was a wonderful musician and is known as the father of songs. He is the son of a king and the muse Calliope which is how he was so talented with music and songs. He plays the lyre which is that instrument he's holding.”

“Is the lady next to him his wife?”

“That's Eurydice. Yes, she's his wife. They tell us that their love was one of the strongest. Their love made those around them happy. Shortly after their wedding Eurydice was walking along the river. She wasn't paying attention to where she walkee and stepped on a snake. She died after it bites her. Her soul is taken to the underworld to the field of reeds.”

“I thought this was going to be a nice story,” Iris interrupted.

“It is, I'll get there. Now, Orpheus was so distraught that the love of his life had died that his music became sad and he moped around the place. That is, until he gets the idea to get her back. So, he travels to the underworld to get her. He is armed with nothing but his lyre and manages to sing his way to the palace where Hades and Persephone live. He even managed to sing to calm Hades’ vicious three headed dog, Cerebus. The legends tell that he stood before Hades and his wife and sang to them of love. The two were so moved by his song that they allowed him the chance to retrieve his wife from the underworld on one condition, that he was not to turn around and look at Eurydice until both of them were completely on the surface.”

Nasch glanced at Iris who was transfixed on the tapestry above them. She carefully examined the images as Nasch pointed to them when they corresponded with the story. Nasch saw the wonder in her eyes light up and he smiled so much that his face hurt.

“Does he do it?” she asked, enthralled.

Nasch pulled Iris closer to him before he continued. “He traveled back to the surface and exited the underworld. However, as he left the underworld completely, he got excited and ran a few steps ahead. He then turned around but Eurydice didn’t fully made it out of the underworld. She was quickly dragged back in where she would remain.”

Isome wonder faded from her eyes and transferred to worry. “Where's the happy part?” She asked.

Nasch chuckled. “It's coming. Be patient. Orpheus begged the ferryman to let him back into the underworld but he wouldnt budge. He refused to take him back over the river Styx. Orpheus spent the rest of his days saddened by the loss of his love. He was walking along the same river where Eurydice walked the first time she lost her life. He is then confronted by a group of women who are so upset by something he told them, that they kill him and tear him apart.”

Nasch looked back down at Iris with a mischievous smile. “Limb. From. Limb.”

“Does he get taken to the Underworld too?”

“He does. Now, this is where some stories differ from others. For the sake of keeping this a good story, I'll tell you my favorite ending. Orpheus was taken to the field of reeds and in the distance he saw his love. He ran to her and they kiss. From this point on, Orpheus never left her side and they get to spend eternity together.”

“That's a nice ending,” Iris said with a yawn. “Why is it your favorite story?”

“I've just always loved how he had the courage to face Hades with a nothing but a song to try and get his wife back.”

“That is nice. I hope I can find someone who'd do that for me.”

“Go to sleep, Iris. It's late.”

“Okay.”

He focused on the sound of her breathing next to him. It was slightly raspy but that was to be expected with the violent coughing fits she had although it had been a bit since she had one. That must have been the tea working. Nasch laid back on his side and pulled Iris close to him. She was so cold. He couldn’t help but feel pity for her. She didn’t deserve the cards she had been dealt and she was so strong for having to overcome everything that she had.

He held her close and allowed some panic from earlier return. Was there really a way he could properly raise her? All worry was stolen from him though. When Iris was just about to fall asleep she whispered to him “Goodnight, Nasch. Thank you.”

As she drifted off, Nasch prayed to the gods that she would turn out okay in the end. That she would regain her strength and be able to overcome the attack better than he had. He fell asleep to the sound of her breathing and held her close. He swore that he would protect her no matter what.

“I promise that I'll keep you safe for as long as I can,” he whispered


	13. Unsteady

**Winter: Year 3**

 

He woke the next morning to Iris having a particularly nasty coughing fit. He sat up and wrapped an arm around her. “I think it's time for another cup of the tea from Jethro, love.”

Iris swallowed hard and flopped back down onto the pillows. “I don't wanna,” she whined.

“You have to. It'll make you better. Now come on. Let's get you dressed and ready for the day.” Nasch picked her up and placed her on her feet. Together they walked to her room slowly and argued over dresses that would fit until they found one that fit her perfectly. She walked out from behind the partition with a smile on her face.

“I really like this one,” she said.

“It fits you nicely. Come here, let me tie the ribbon.”

She stood in front of him and turned around to let him. She played with her hair which she pulled over her shoulder. Nasch held off on telling her that they'd cut it until later. For now, he watched her turn back towards him and smile. She hugged him around his waist and thanked him.

“You are very welcome,” he said. “Now, I'm going to go get ready. Would you like to come to the morning service with me?”

“Sure. I wanna explore my room some though.”

“I'll stop by before I head down. You can stay here and explore.”

Nasch hurried back into his room and changed into his formal clothes before he decided to fix Iris another cup of the tea she hated. He brought it to her when he stopped by her room to get her for the services.

He handed it to her and she sipped at it before handing it back to him with the promise she would finish it. Nasch decided to hold her to it. He held the mug in one hand and took hers. Together they walked slowly downstairs and through the palace. Iris stayed silent and looked at absolutely everything with wonder as she walked. When they made it into the grand foyer she paused for a moment to take everything in. After a bit, she let Nasch lead her into the sacristy and sit her down on a countertop by Merag's desk as they waited for the Almighty High Priestess to arrive. He handed her back the mug which had now cooled enough for her to drink it quickly. She still sipped at it and took her time.

“How long do I have to drink this awful stuff, Nasch?”

“Until your cough is gone.”

Iris rolled her eyes and took another sip. “What's this room for?” She asked.

“I'll wait for Merag to get here so she can explain better.”

“She's your twin, right?”

“She is,” Nasch replied with a smile. “Take another sip from your tea before you start coughing again.”

Iris did as she was told and drank a fair bit of it quickly before putting the mug on the counter next to her as she gagged. Nasch asked her if she was all right and offered her the water he carried in his hip flask. She took it and quickly unscrewed the cap. She handed it back half empty with the cap still unscrewed. He’d have to refill it later on in case she needed more. She most likely would before she finished the rest of the tea.

Iris settled down and looked at her worn shoes. She swung her legs happily and smiled at Nasch. “Did you sleep well?” She asked him.

She was just full of questions, wasn't she? “I did,” he replied. “Did you?”

“Okay I guess. I just got really scared last night. It's so big here.”

Nasch pulled himself up into the counter and sat next to her. “That it is. What do you think of a tour of the palace after I finish my work for the day? Maybe that'll make it seem less scary.”

Iris’ eyes lit up as she smiled at Nasch. “That sounds fantastic!”

She giggled as she leaned on him and kept swinging her feet. “Ah, hold on. Jethro is supposed to come by this morning at some point. I completely forgot.” Nasch snickered at his own forgetfulness.

He could push back the tour for a little while though and he could most definitely carry her through the house as he showed her where things were if need be. Nasch thought about the test of the day and how it might go now that he had Iris. There was already so much he had to do and there was definitely not enough daylight to do it. Nasch looked at her play with her hair after she hung it over her shoulder and got an idea. He shuffled her off of him and pulled a leather cord out of his pocket. She looked at him curiously and Nasch felt another storm of questions brewing in the distance.

“Turn towards the door,” he told her. “Let me braid your hair.”

“But you're a boy. How did you learn how to braid?” She giggled.

Nasch combed through her thin hair with careful fingers and pulled it backward, eliminating her natural center part. “In case you haven't noticed, I have long hair. So does my sister. It only makes sense that I'd know how to take care of it,” he laughed

Iris closed her eyes and allowed Nasch to start a French braid at the crown of her head. He was careful not to pull too tight and break the already thin hair she had. He continued braiding as his sister walked in the door and smiled at the sight. She smiled and bid good morning to both of them before she sat at her desk and prepared Cherry's book with the scripture passage for the service.

Nasch took his time to make the braid look good and hoped she wouldn't pull it out halfway through the day as most children tend to do. He finished by thing the leather cord in a bow at the bottom. A ribbon would look much better than the cord but he made do. He pat her lightly on the shoulder signifying that he was finished and she pulled the braid over her shoulder. She twirled the end of it in her fingers and smiled at Nasch.

“Thank you,” she said as she leaned back against him.

“No problem,” he replied. “I've been meaning to ask how your back feels. Do you have any pain in it?”

“Sometimes its sharp. It doesn't get bad till the end of the day.”

Nasch made a noise in acknowledgment and mentally compared that to his own pain. Depending on what he did, it would feel like a knife and the pain would shoot down into his legs and arms causing them to go slightly numb. However, that was only when it was really bad. He tried to remember back to the days after he first got hurt but as usual, he couldn't remember a thing.

“Merag,” he called to his sister.

She closed the scripture and turned her chair towards the pair seated on the counter. “Yeah?”

“Do you remember anything about the first year I got hurt?”

These were painful stories and normally elicited panic for no reason but he supposed he should let Iris know what happened.

“Not much. We were about six I think. There were times where you went into a shock and we're incoherent. Knowing what I know now, I think that was what we call sepsis from a bad infection. I also remember how hard it was for you being stuck inside and not being able to walk properly. I also remember the winter right after you got hurt in bits and pieces.”

“I don't remember a bit of it,” Nasch chuckled. He supposed it was to relieve some of his own tension in discussing the events that followed his injury.

Iris gasped and sat up abruptly. She winced in pain slightly from doing so. “I remember what happened after I got hurt!”

Merag seemed intrigued possibly from Nasch finally talking about things like this or from Iris's excitement that she could have input in an adult conversation. “Do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't, Iris. Nasch still has a hard time talking about it,” Merag said.

“Oh I'm okay with talking about it. It's not like I'm still sliced open.”

Nasch couldn't help but shut his eyes tightly at the words that left her mouth. Iris must have noticed and she changed her mind. “We can talk later, okay?” She said.

 

Merag agreed and turned towards the door from the grand entryway that had just opened. Cherry walked inside, her red hair tied back in a bun and a smile on her face. Her eyes immediately focused on Iris and it was like nothing else in the room existed, not even the Emperor himself. She walked quickly towards the little girl and introduced herself with a smile. “Hello, Princess.” She said. “My name is Cherry. I'm Miss Merag's student.”

“She has a long ways to go before she's officially a Princess, Cherry,” Nasch interjected.

He was right. There was so much to be done before he could even think about making her his heir. Not to mention the countless arguments he was going to have with his council surrounding naming a child that wasn't his as his heir. There were also going to have to be countless hours of tutoring to get her used to Royal life and a formal education so she would be prepared to take the throne after him.

Cherry and Iris continued their conversation as Nasch worried himself with the laundry list of things he had to take care of regarding his new addition. It felt odd to call himself a father. He felt as if he was trying to replace her biological parents, of which he definitely was not. He figured he'd let her call him Nasch until she mentioned it or came up with a different title for him.

It interesting to think about how he had grown so attached to Iris in a matter of minutes and took her home without a second thought. It was even more interesting to watch her as she stole quick glances towards him to make sure everything was still there or the way she instinctively reached out for him when she was scared or nervous about something. She certainly wasn't shy as Nasch thought she would have been instead she greeted people back with a smile as the various Priests filed into the room to begin their duties.

Merag stood from her seat and helped Iris off of the counter. “Are you coming into the services this morning?” She asked.

“I am. But I don't know anything about the services,” Iris replied.

“That's  okay,” Merag told her as she reached down to pick her up. “Who better to reach you than the Almighty High Priestess herself?”

Nasch followed the pair into the Chapel where people already gathered. He sat next to Merag towards the rear in case Jethro arrived. Iris watched with wonder in her eyes as Cherry lit the holy incense towards the back of the chapel and began to sing a hymn as she processed forward to the altar. She looked around the room and took in the various marble busts of the gods that lined the walls. She looked carefully at each stained glass window and the images carefully preserved in them. Whenever she had a question, she whispered it in Merag's ear and the woman gladly answered every single one to the best of her ability. Nasch watched them from the pew behind as they continued through the majority of the service.

Nasch heard the door from the Grand Foyer open and turned to look to see who walked in. As soon as he saw it was Jethro, he tapped Iris on the shoulder and told her it was time to leave. He picked her up and carried her quietly back into the sacristy where he placed her down next to the half empty cup of tea.

He turned around to properly greet Jethro and his wife who decided to tag along. He thanked them for coming out so early in the morning and Jethro set to work properly examining Iris ad Nasch chatted with Anna from the side of the room.

The wood burning stoves had fully kicked in and we're successfully combating the chill in the room. Surprisingly it wasn't too bad for the dead of winter.

“Did you see the front rolling in from the coast?” Anna asked.

Nasch berated himself for jinxing it and replied with a somewhat defeated “no”.

“People are saying it's going to be bad. Jethro and I wanted to come before the snow started and messed everything up. He was saying that he should have a better idea on how to get her strength back up after today. So hopefully you won't need him for a bit.”

“If the snow is going to be as bad as people are saying, I'm glad you were able to get here early,” Nasch replied.

He heard Iris Yelp in pain and turned towards her quickly. He saw Jethro had his fingers pressed lightly against her spine. He motioned for Nasch to head towards him and told him to remove his jacket, which he did. Jethro turned Nasch around so that his back was facing him and carefully counted the bones on his spine.

“Same spot as you, Nasch,” He said. “Damn Donasusians are meticulous.”

“Watch your mouth,” Anna berated him from her spot. “He's got a kid now.”

Iris chuckled. “I've heard worse. My daddy was a sailor.”

Jethro laughed. “You two have more in common than you think there, Nasch. Did you know Nasch used to sail before he became the Emperor?”

Iris looked at him with wide-eyed excitement. “No! Can you teach me Sailor's Gaelic? Daddy promised me he'd teach me but died before he could.”

Nasch walked towards her and sat next to her on the counter again. He replied with a phrase in the aforementioned language as he handed her the ceramic mug of cold tea.

“I didn't understand any of that.”

“I told you to finish it and that I have water for you afterwards,” Nasch said with a smile.

He unclipped his hip flask and unscrewed the cap, readying it for the girl. Iris looked into the cup of dark liquid and exhaled before she quickly drank the rest of it. Before she had the chance to gag like before, she quickly reached for the water. She handed it back to him when she was finished and scrunched up her nose.

“It's never gonna get any easier, is it?” She asked.

“Sorry love, it won't,” Jethro replied. “Even I have trouble drinking the stuff.”

“So how are we going to go about this?” Nasch asked.

“You can start her on broths of sorts, chicken, beef, vegetable. As she keeps them down slowly add in soups, then stews, then other things. in a few months she should be back on  normal portions of food. As for her gait, she's doing pretty well, much better than you did at this time. Keep her walking for as long as she can and carry her when she can't. Use the same tactics you used to strengthen your legs,” Jethro replied.

“I haven't danced in a long time, Jethro,” Nasch laughed.

“It's time start again,” Jethro replied as he turned to Iris. He took her hands in his own and smiled brightly at her. “You'll be dancing at Beltane this year, love. I promise.”

With a quick goodbye, Anna and Jethro were on their way home before the storm had the chance to strand them in the palace for a few days. Iris thanked them both and hugged them before they left and she turned back to Nasch with a smile.

“He said I can have broth, right?” She asked.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving!” she replied with a laugh.

Nasch helped her off of the counter and offered his hand which she took. “That might have to wait for a bit. I'll have to ask Merag if she can get her hands on some sort of bones for you.”

“Can you leave her a note so she knows?”

Nasch let go of Iris's hand and walked to Merag's desk. He found a scrap of paper and jotted down a shorthand memo for her with a quill and placed it where he knew she would see it. He returned to Iris and offered her his hand again and together they walked out of the sacristy and into the Grand Foyer.  They continued slowly into the hallway and around to the library all the while Nasch explained the various offices and rooms along the way. He promised her that they'd stop in a few of them later on.

For now though, he took her into his study and lit the oil lamps as she sat in his desk chair and looked at him with a mischievous smile. He walked over to her and picked her up as he sat down so he could place her on his lap as he quickly sorted through papers and made sure everything was in order. Thankfully there wasn't too much to do with the investigation of Magis taking most of everyone's time. Iris chatted happily with Nasch and asked him questions about what he was doing as he glanced over documents and sorted them into their proper folders to distribute to the council members.

Normally, he'd have a pageboy deliver them but today he and Iris would do it themselves as a chance to introduce her to the new faces that she would see often. Once he was finished, he scooted her off of his lap and tucked the folders under his arm and took Iris's hand with the other.

“Remember those offices I was talking about earlier when we walked here?” He asked her.

“Yeah. You mentioned that I'd see them later on.”

“Well, it is later on. Ready to meet some new people?”

“I'm not going to remember their names, Nasch.”

Despite some reservations, Nasch led Iris to each of the council member's offices. He introduced her and much to his surprise, none of the protested the little girl in his care. Each of them treated her with respect without question. Finally, there was something admirable about the council.

After they finished distributing the folders Nasch led Iris to the marble staircase and picked her up. He knew the stairs would be too much for her at this time. He carried her and carefully paid attention the the stairs so he wouldn't trip and fall. He put her down once they reached the hallway and together they walked into Nasch's sitting room. Iris head right for the sofa and wrapped herself in the knitted blanket draped on the back of it.

Nasch poured some water from a jug in a cast iron pot and set it aside as he lit the hearth. Once he had a steady flame, he moved a metal rack over it and placed the pot on top so the top of the flame licked at the bottom. He then reached for a chimney looking device with a spout on the side. It was old but it did its job well. He placed a large clay container under the spout. After he finished meddling with his water purification device, he sat next to Iris and braced himself for questions.

“What's that clay thing for?” She asked.

“As the water boils it lets off steam, there's a way that the inside of the clay thing catches it, let's it cool slightly and let's the pure water drip into the clay pot. In short, it purifies water and makes it safe to drink,” he replied.

Iris made a noise in acknowledgement and leaned against Nasch. She yawned and rubbed at her eyes with the backs of her hands. It only made sense that she was tired this early. She was still weak and she had a very long day. Nasch adjusted himself on the sofa and kicked off his boots, leaving them where they fell. He pulled his legs up onto the sofa and laid down on his back. Iris curled up in the space between him and the back of the sofa and laid her head down on his chest. Nasch found himself pushing stray hairs that had fallen from the braid, behind her ear. In this moment Nasch found himself overwhelmed with an emotion he hadn't really felt often.

Adoration.

This girl, despite being so weak, never complained as Nasch walked her around the palace delivering folders and introducing her to various important people. She willingly allowed Jethro to examine her current condition and she put up with the awful elixir of tea to help soothe her cough. Nasch looked down at the girl laying on his chest and felt his heart beat faster. He adored everything about her.

He found himself humming a song his mother used to sing to him when he was little and afraid of the world. Eventually both of them fell asleep only to wake a few hours later to the smell of something that was placed next to the fire. Merag stood over her brother and called his name a few times to stir him from sleep.

“I ended up booking the bone all day in the sacristy on top of one of the stoves down there. I strained it too so it should be ready for her do drink when she wants,” she said.

“I can't thank you enough, Merag,” he said.

“It's all right, Nasch. It's the least I could do.”

She sat on the bricks in front of the hearth and began reading silently. Nasch decided that now was as good a time as any to wake the girl sleeping on him. He gently shifted her and he watched her eyes open slowly.

“You still hungry?” He asked her.

Iris sat up and coughed for a bit. it wasn't as violent as this morning, thankfully. The tea must have started working properly. “Yeah,” she replied.

Nasch sat up slowly and placed his feet on the floor. He stood slowly and walked to the cabinet to retrieve another mug, berating himself for leaving the other one in the sacristy this morning. He grabbed a ladle and after he filled the mug with broth, he handed it to Iris who gladly sipped from it.

“It's been a while since I've had something like this. Mommy used to make me broth when I was sick when I was little,” she said. “It doesn't taste like hers but it's still good.”

Merag marked her page in the book and placed it down next to her. “Nothing matches a mother’s cooking. Even if I use my mom's recipes for things, it still doesn't taste the same.”

“Yeah. It's weird,” Iris said before she took another long sip.

Nasch walked into his room and closed the door behind him to change into more comfortable clothes and join Iris back on the sofa. He rested his arm on the back of the couch and allowed Iris to lean against him once more. This was a wonderful habit that he hoped would stay. It was reassuring knowing that she trusted him enough to follow him around and constantly reach for him.

Nasch allowed himself to get lost in the moment. He let himself acknowledge that even if he didn't know exactly what he was doing, he was doing something right.

“I made stew with the extra broth by the way,” Merag said. “It’s here if you want some.”

Nasch thanked her and retrieved two bowls and spoons from the cabinet he sat next to her and allowed her to ladle stew from the other pot he hadn't noticed into them. He didn't realize how hungry he was until he had the stew in his hands. He ate it quickly and went back for a second helping. Iris eventually joined the twins on the floor and served herself half of another cup of broth. Nasch was going to protest as he didn’t know if it would make her sick but she sipped at it slowly as she watched the fire so he let it be.

They sat in a comfortable silence until Vector walked in with Durbe behind him. The pair were laughing at their own conversation and walked over to grab themselves bowls. Iris placed her mug aside and shifted so she was sitting cross legged as she warmed her hands by the fire. Nasch moved next to her and placed his arm behind her. Despite the long day she had, she strangely didn’t look tired. He then remembered that he promised her a tour of the palace to make it seem less scary.

“Did you still want that tour, Iris?” He asked.

“Can we do it tomorrow instead?”

“Absolutely,” he replied. “Whenever you’re up to it.”

Iris used Nasch’s shoulder to stand  and she smiled at him. “If it’s okay I’d like to spend some time in my room,” she said.

“Of course. Do you need help walking there?”

“No I think I’ve got it,” she replied.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’ll put the lamp outside of my door like I did last night for you.”

She thanked him and he watched carefully as she limped out of the sitting room. After a few moments he rose from his seat to watch her walk into her room. He sat back down after he heard the door close with a sigh.

“How was your first day of fatherhood there, Nasch?” Durbe asked.

Nasch almost flinched at the mention of ‘fatherhood’. It was still odd to think of himself as a father. He chuckled softly and hung his head slightly. “Good I guess. She definitely isn’t shy I’ll tell you that much. I'm just worried about her adjusting, is all.”

“She seemed like she was doing perfectly fine today,” Vector said as he ladled some stew into the bowl. “I saw her talking to one of your council members as of she'd known him since she was little.”

Durbe tucked his bite of food into his cheek so he could respond. “Yeah. She also said 'good morning’ to most of the guards she passed. She was the talk of the Town in the Guard's quarters today. No one could shut up about her.”

“And the priests were all over her too. Cherry is really excited about having her in the palace,” Merag added.

Nasch just smiled as he placed his empty bowl aside. She made his day more enjoyable just by being there. Despite the numerous questions, he found himself happier and more ready do complete his tasks fully. This was something he could get used to.

Despite all odds, Iris persevered. She lived and wasn't afraid to tell the tale, which she promised Merag earlier. She wasn't afraid of her past like he was despite going through similar struggles. He knew he could learn a lot from her. He just had to keep his heart and mind open.

“I'll go check on her in a bit, put her to bed and things. I'd imagine she's overwhelmed and needed some time alone,” Nasch said as he rose from his place.

He walked into his bedroom to change into more comfortable attire and was slightly surprised to find that Vector's shawl was folded on the left side of the bed, his sketchbook places neatly next to it. He did extend the invitation to stay in his bed for as long as the ‘arrangement’ lasted. However, he was slightly concerned as to what would happen if Iris needed something in the middle of the night. He'd discuss this with Vector at a later time. Regardless of his own feeling towards Vector, Iris came first.

He exited the room to find Durbe got stuck with cleaning the dishes. He was going to make a joke about this but the oil lamp he set in the hallway needed to be refilled and the wick needed trimming. He brought it inside and placed it on the desk before taking a seat. He opened one of the drawers and found the necessary tools for taking apart the lamp and a pair of snips for trimming the wick. He placed the top portion upside down as to not get oil everywhere and filled it with the oil of the lamp he never used on his desk. He supposed he could have just moved that one but it was far too expensive. The glass that protected the flame was decorated, painted intricately with holy symbols and attached to the metal piece with some sort of epoxy. It was also fixed to the base in an odd way so there wasn't really a way around what he was doing.

Once he was finished with his task, he lit the lamp and set it in the same place as the night before. He walked down the hallway and knocked softly on Iris's door before walking in. She changed into her chemise and managed to tie the neckline in place haphazardly. She sat in bed talking to her doll who was propped up on some pillows that she moved. Nasch apologized before he sat on the edge of the bed.

“You doing okay?” He asked her.

“Fine. Just a lot of people,” she replied.

“I know. I figured as much. What are you two talking about?”

“Just how different things here are. I've never really had a home since daddy died. It's weird.”

“I can imagine,” he said. He then got an idea. there was one room in the palace  he knew she would like, that would peak her curiosity and he wouldn't wait to show it to her. "There is one thing I'd like to show you before you head to bed. I'll carry you. It might be easier.”

“Okay but Marin is coming. She missed me today,” she said.

Iris reached for him and he picked her up. Together, they walked in silence out of her room, down the hall, down the spiral staircase, through a much longer hallway and into the Grand Foyer. Nasch took the stairs on the left and turned into the upper left wing of the palace. He never had a real reason to visit the upper wings of the building. Most of his work was done downstairs and the Royal Rooms had a separate entrance entirely off limits to the people that wandered about on a day to day basis.

He decided not to talk about the Portraits of former royalty of the Seven Lands that lined the hallway and instead focused on the clicking sound that his shoes made on the marble which was soon hushed by a long green rug. The last door on the right was their destination and Nasch turned the doorknob and pushed it aside. He put Iris down and placed an oil lamp in her hands, trading it for the doll which he promised would be okay in his temporary care, so she could walk around on her own and ask the inevitable questions of 'what's this’, and 'why is that'.

Much to his surprise she looked at the various items throughout the room in silence. She looked at the portraits and busts carefully. She inspected each piece of jewelry with a keen eye for detail but her surprise came when she stood in front of a dress form bearing the clothing that Nasch wore on the night of his coronation nearly two years ago.

She started with the boots and slowly looked up in awe. She took a couple steps back and turned her head upwards to look carefully at the intricate floral pattern on the purple vest. She focused on his family crest imprinted on the buttons and Nasch didn't stop her when she reached out to touch one of them, carefully rubbing her pointer and middle finger over the image. Nasch placed the doll on the table where the lamp was and knelt beside her silently. He let her take in the sight of the clothes he wore once and would never wear again.

She handed the lamp to him and he took it from her. The girl's gaze trailed further upwards once her hand fell to her side and she focused on the golden clasp that kept that godforsaken cape in place.

It was green and the color hadn't faded one bit despite being under a massive skylight. The fur that lined the edges was dust free and still looked like if the black pelts that made it had just been tanned. He was told it was bear but he wasn't too sure now. The green part of it was a beautiful velvet. Iris reached out to touch that too. She walked a few steps forward to catch the fur, carefully rubbing her fingertips through it. Then she placed an open palm on the velvet.

Nasch sat on his knees and watched her in curiosity as she seemingly relived a memory she didn't have.

She then caught a glimpse of the crown sitting on a marble pedestal and cushioned by a green velvet pillow, the same material as the cape. She walked over and looked at it. She adored the emeralds embedded in the front and found herself speechless at the excellent metalwork that went into making it. She looked at the rods of gold twisted in the front to look like a trident and stared in awe at every single bit of it.

“I remember the day you became Emperor,” she whispered. “I remember.”

She began to sniffle and Nasch knew she would let out a cry soon, but she didn't. Nasch stayed silent.

“They took everyone from Pelia and placed them in tents in a field. We had just moved. Daddy died in spring,” she whispered. “We were there forever and they took people and hung them with their arms up on those wooden things. I watched so many people die.”

Nasch found his own heart breaking and swallowed back tears. He knew every detail of this story and prosecuted absolutely everyone involved they could get their hands on. No one should have lived their final moments in so much agony, so much fear.

Fear. He remembered that well during the revolt.

He remembered the pain too. He remembered how it felt like he was dying before he actually held hands with death. He remembered his last thoughts before his vision faded to black.

_‘We can't afford to pay the ferryman.’_

He heard it as if someone from his past whispered it in his ear. Before he had everything, he had nothing. His dad was a poor farmer, his mother, a retired sailor and an illegitimate child with two young illegitimate children by her fiance. Nasch wasn't sure if his parents were ever married, come to think of it.

He finally found courage to speak. “I'm so sorry.”

As he spoke his voice cracked. He placed the lamp on the floor and covered his mouth with both of his hands. “It's all my fault.”

Sheer panic coursed through his veins but he had to keep it together for her, for Iris.

For his daughter.

They stayed still as the many marble statues throughout the room. Only the sound of Iris's sniffles and quiet cries echoed throughout the room.

“It's all my fault,” he repeated.

He was never meant to be the Emperor.

He was thrown back in time to when he was nothing more than poor and hungry. He let Merag sleep closer to the wall that night in the bed they shared in the main room of their tiny shack. That was normally his spot but he was listening to pops tell a story in his rocking chair and crawled into bed far too long after her. Their mattress was stuffed with leftover straw from the harvest and rested on the floor. It was uncomfortable but it was all they had. He pulled himself under the blankets that were far too thin for the changing of the seasons and fell asleep quickly.

He woke in the middle of the night to the door to their home being thrown open and slamming violently against the wall of their small house. Their mother jumped out of bed and tried to prevent the soldiers from dragging her son away no avail. Nasch could still hear her screams.

“Don't take my baby! Please! He's only six years of age!”

And the guard's reply, “More incentive for you to submit to Donasus.”

And then he was tied to a tree in between a young woman and an elderly man. Their faces were a blur.

That night was bitter and cold. He shivered like a tree in the wind and just as dawn broke, the soldiers untied him from the tree and dragged him into a row boat and into the Coastal City. He waited in line for his turn to die and remembered each of the screams of agony of the ones before him. There was something he realized while standing in that line though, the more noise you made and the more you begged for death, the slower it came.

When it came his turn to be made an example of he stayed silent and kept his gaze low. There was so much blood on the makeshift platform that the air smelt of it. He left footprints with his bare feet as he walked to where the stopped him.

They cut the ropes carelessly off of his wrists. They held both of his hands above his head and tied his limbs as if he was being quartered. The hoisted him up with a word from the executioner and tied his legs, spread apart far too tight.

He heard the sound of his thin shirt tearing and then felt the sharp press of a knife at the base of his skull. It dragged down, halfway down his back and stopped. The executioner stuck his blood-stained hands inside the wound and forced it open farther to expose his backbone.

He stayed silent. Death would come quickly.

He heard the large crack of something hitting one of the bones in between his shoulder blades. He felt the worst pain of his life and suddenly, could no longer feel his legs. He squirmed in an attempt to move them. He tried to wiggle his toes, to flex his ankles but to no avail.

He heard the shouts of the crowd behind him and suddenly the platform shifted when he supposed people began climbing on it.

“He's too young!”

“Stop this madness!”

“Someone cut the boy down!”

Their angered voices were reduced to ringing. He was fading fast. His vision went dark.

_'We can't afford to pay the ferryman.’_

Nasch was back in the room with Iris standing in front of him. She looked at him with shock. He didn't realize he was hunched over, clawing at his shoulders and there was skin lodged under his nails from it. He was shaking and breathing fast. Far too fast for himself to handle. He was trembling and tears streamed down his face. There was a dull ache in his chest and a fierce burning in his lungs. Now was not the time for an 'episode'. Not in front of her.

“It's all my fault. You should have never gotten hurt,” he choked out.

So much for keeping it together.

Iris was terrified at the sight. He knew she would be. Instead of running, she knelt down in front of him, scared to touch him.

“I forgive you,” she whispered lovingly, hands clasped tightly across her chest as if she was in prayer.

Nasch broke. He sobbed violently into his hands and let his fear take over him despite his best efforts.

“Nasch, I forgive you,” she repeated, louder this time. She made sure her voice was heard and did a fantastic job at it. Nasch looked up at her, his red face matched hers. Tears filled both of their eyes and ran down their faces. 

She reached out a hand, palm open and facing up. “I can't do this alone,” she said. “I need you.”

Nasch pulled her somewhat roughly by the hand and into his arms. He held onto her for dear life. She was so brave and somehow knew just what to say. He held her tightly as they both sobbed, sitting on the floor of the Hall of Remembrance.


	14. Snow

**Winter: Year 3**

 

“Nasch, I'd like to try and sleep in my bed tonight,” Iris said.

“Of course,” he replied. “But there's no shame in coming in with me.”

She held on tightly to him as he carried her. One arm tucked under her knees, the other behind her back. Both their faces were red and irritated from crying in each other's arms. It was a moment of weakness on Nasch's part that came all too soon and unexpectedly at that. This was the first time he remembered the entire event and he ended up embarrassing himself with an episode in front of Iris. She took it bravely and somehow knew exactly what to do.

Stay close, don't touch.

He was thoroughly ashamed for letting this side of him show to her. He was supposed to be strong, he was the damned Emperor for God's sake!

“I'm sorry that you had to see that, Iris.”

“It's okay. It's hard for me to talk about sometimes. Seeing the clothes just made it more… ouch.”

Despite the breakdown both of them just had Nasch allowed himself to laugh for a moment with her. “This isn't what I expected when I thought I'd take you in there.”

That was true. He expected her to bound around and look at the various treasures kept within the Hall of Remembrance with wide-eyed wonder. She was supposed to ask questions about things and laugh as Nasch responded. This was not at all what happened.

He slowly climbed the spiral staircase and walked towards Iris's room. He was thankful he placed the doll on the table where the oil lamp belonged otherwise he'd be walking back into the Hall of Remembrance which he most definitely did not want to do. All he wanted to do was sleep off his sorrow. He was exhausted.

Once he reached her room, he placed her on the bed and tucked her in. She curled up much the way she had the night before, doll hugged close to her chest, on her right side facing Nasch.

“Don't forget if you need anything at all, you come to get me, okay?” He assured her.

“I know. Goodnight, Nasch.”

“Goodnight, Iris.”

He pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and quietly left. He closed the door behind him this time, at her request.

When he walked into his sitting room, no one was there and the fire had been put out. However, he did see the glow of another fire coming from his bedroom.

Right, Vector.

Vector sat on the bed scribbling something in his sketchbook. He was wrapped in his shawl and completely focused on what he was doing. Nasch decided not to bother him and instead climbed into his side of the bed. He laid on his left side, facing away from his companion and sighed as he relaxed into the bed.

“How did everything go?” Vector asked him.

“Alright,” he replied. He turned onto his other side to face him. “I haven’t really seen you for a few days. What have you been up to?”

“I spent quite a bit of time in the sparring room with Durbe. He wanted to learn some Austranian techniques and things,” Vector replied.

“Even with your broken arm?”

“I don't need a sword to instruct. But drawing without my dominant hand is fucking awful,” he replied.

“How do you instruct someone to fight without a sword? Nasch asked.

“Show them the form and yell until the execute it properly. It's how I learned to fight,” he replied.

“I can't imagine that's very effective,” Nasch said. “When I learned how to fight I needed some visual.”

“It’s effective, I assure you. Next time you have time, I'll show you.”

“I might have to take you up on that offer.”

Vector went back to his sketchbook and whatever he was fixing up. Eventually, the curiosity made Nasch sit up and lean against him to view what he was working on. The drawing was a lot messier than his other ones, being drawn completely with his non-dominant hand but Nasch could still tell what it was.

An image of Durbe, sword drawn and pointed directly at his opponent, taunting him graced the page. He'd never know how Vector did what he did. However, he noticed a key detail in the background was slightly off. The curtains were far too long the way Vector drew them. He pointed it out and earned himself a playful shove from the Prince. He smiled and laid back down.

The two fell into silence as Vector continued drawing. It was peaceful and Nasch was almost asleep when Vector spoke again.

“Do you want me to leave in case Iris comes in again?” He asked.

‘No,’ would have been the simple answer, however, that felt like it left some open ends and opportunities for questions that he didn’t have the energy to answer. Although Nasch wanted nothing more than to spread out and take up three-quarters of his bed, he felt that he needed company as he fell asleep. What better company to have than the object of one’s affection?

“I doubt she will. She was out cold as soon as her head hit the pillow,” he said. “She had a long day too which leads me to believe she'll sleep through the night.”

Vector made a noise in acknowledgment and went back to his work. He hummed softly to himself, a melody and language that was unfamiliar to the Emperor. He supposed it was Vector's native tongue as it sounded extremely similar to the one Vector prayed in during the harvest a few months ago. It was a beautiful melody, however, it was somewhat predictable. Nasch let it go on account that he was no expert in music and things like that. He took this time to admire the man next to him.

His concentration slowly turned to frustration and he closed his sketchbook harshly. He stopped humming as he pulled the covers up to his shoulders and flopped down on his side. After a few more moments he reached over and turned the oil lamp on the nightstand down.

Eventually, he continued humming quietly. Nasch wasn’t sure if Vector realized he was doing it. Regardless, it was a calming moment after the storm that came and ran it's course a few moments ago.

He drifted off to sleep to the sound of the crackling fire and the quiet song from the man next to him.

He dreamt for the first time in a long time. He saw images of his people gathered in the courtyard of the palace much like they were on his coronation. He looked down at himself to discover if he was dressed in the same clothing he wore that day. Next to him, Iris wore a matching purple dress with a green ribbon tied around her waist. She was no longer deathly thin, but she wasn't plump either. She looked up and smiled at him.

He woke just before dawn as he always did and as expected, Iris hadn't climbed in with him the night before. He rose from the bed and dressed, filled with thoughts of the odd dream he had and whether or not it classified as a nightmare considering the circumstances. It didn’t matter now, it was in the past. He left it where it lie. He needed to check on Iris.

He walked out of his rooms and down the hallway. He hesitated before he knocked on her door. He was nervous. Would she think any different of him because of last night?

He knocked softly on the door and let himself in. “Good morning, Iris,” he said but there was no answer.

“Iris?”

Silence.

He stepped into the room. With the dawn light coming in, he could see her bed was haphazardly made. Her doll, Marin, was tucked under the blankets, her head on the pillow that Iris used for herself. He looked over to the partition to find she threw her chemise carelessly over the top of it. He noticed her old, worn boots were also missing.

“Iris!”

Still no answer.

_Panic._

He took off running down the hallway and barged into his sister's room without knocking. She wasn't there either. Since Merag wasn’t there, she was most likely on her way to the Sacristy. He ran across the palace as fast as his feet could carry him. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to Iris. Not now, not ever.

He ended up running into the room looking disheveled to find Merag and Iris sitting on chairs by one of the wood stoves, unharmed and cups of tea in hand. Both of them turned to look at him then turned back to face each other with a giggle.

“Good morning, Nasch!” Iris said happily. Her smile told him that everything was alright. Nasch allowed himself to breathe.

As he walked over towards them he pulled his spare leather cord out of his pocket and pulled his now matted hair back into a high ponytail. He'd have to wash it tonight because of this. He complained to himself as he walked over to the girls.

“How long have you been up, Iris?” He asked. It was here that he noticed her hair was pulled back into a neat bun low on her head. Merag probably helped her with this.

“Not too long,” she replied. “I woke up when Merag started heading downstairs.”

“Did you walk here by yourself?”

“Yep! It took me a little while but I did it,” she said with a laugh before she took another sip from her cup of tea. “Merag found a way to make Mr. Jethro's tea taste a little better by the way.”

“Dried strawberries,” Merag chimed in. “Strawberries and a little bit of green tea.”

Nasch hummed in response and glanced out the window to his left. Snow had piled up and was sure to inhibit most activities around the Capital. The storm yesterday was hopefully the last of the season though and he found himself particularly excited to be rid of the incessant cold and the dryness that came with it. He stood next to Iris and Merag as they sipped from their mugs.

“Nasch? Can I go play in the snow today?” Iris asked him.

“Let me double check what I have to do today and I'll go with you,” he said.

“Actually, I was wondering if Merag and Cherry could go with me instead,” she asked shyly. It was the first time Nasch had seen her act shy since she first met Jethro and it was an interesting sight compared to her bravery the night before.

Nasch was slightly taken aback by her request and laughed as he responded. He placed his hand on her shoulder lightly. “Of course.”

Merag happily hugged Iris and she lifted her out of the chair into her arms. She spun her around with a laugh. “We're going to have so much fun!” Merag exclaimed. “I can't wait!”

“Neither can I! I think I saw a coat that might fit in my closet,” Iris replied.

“It was one of my old ones when I was little. I'm pretty sure I left mittens in there somewhere too. Those are new and were a gift from one of the new Priests’ wives. Obviously, they didn’t fit me.”

“Awesome!”

Nasch smiled at the girls as they talked about what they were going to do with the freshly fallen snow. He excused himself from the room. Knowing that Iris was safe, he decided to forego the morning services and get right to work so he could crawl back into bed as quickly as possible.

His episode from yesterday still stung his mind and sapped all energy from him despite a full night of sleep. He wanted nothing more than to sit in bed with a good book until he fell asleep. He walked into the library to find Vector leaning against the door to his study. Nasch's heart skipped a beat for some unknown reason. He must have stirred when Nasch woke up a little bit ago.

“Did you find Iris?” The Prince asked. He adjusted the sling for his arm slightly so it laid even across his forearm.

Nasch walked towards him with a smirk as he retrieved the key to his study door out of habit. He really needed someone to fix the damn doorknob. “She's with my sister.”

Nasch put the cord back around his neck and simply pushed the door open.

“How much do you have to do today? You said you wanted me to show you Austranian fighting techniques, I'm ready when you are,” Vector replied.

Despite his exhaustion, Nasch found himself excited at a chance to spend time with Vector and sparring at that. He quickly looked around and was more than elated to find that there were no papers slipped under his door. Nothing made its way over to his desk either. Everything sat just where he left it the day before. He reasoned that the snow was too much for people who traveled some distance in and out of the palace on a day to day basis. He closed the door and locked it again. He looked at Vector with a smirk. “Let's go,” he said.

The sparring room was below the main floor of the palace. Connected to the Guard's Quarters, it was normally crawling with activity from members of the Royal Guard. However, this was not the case today. It seemed like the massive snowstorm that Nasch hardly noticed yesterday did a number on the roads. As a result, many had trouble getting in or simply stayed the night in the next room over. This was fine, Nasch didn't mind.

Vector walked to the end of the room and pulled a sword out from somewhere Nasch didn't notice. He was too affixed on the hole in the plaster just the size of someone's head. He chuckled at it before he turned his attention to Vector. Nasch grabbed a dulled sword with a weight he found suitable and waited for Vector's instruction.

Vector stood with his feet planted far apart. His toes in line with his front but his head was turned, his face parallel with the wall behind him.

Nasch imitated his position and held the sword in his arm out straight towards the wall.

“Lunge!” Vector yelled with enough force to knock anyone off guard.

Nasch obeyed and moved his weight to one side, finding it remarkably easy as his center of gravity was lower to the ground.  He lunged and was able to keep his balance with minimal effort. This was remarkably efficient. Straight-faced, he looked back at Vector to find out he wasn't standing where he was before. In fact, he wasn't anywhere in his field of view.

He straightened his legs and looked around the room to find Vector was nowhere to be seen.

“Vec-?”

_Clang._

Nasch spotted the silver of a blade in the nick of time and blocked it with his own. He craned his neck to find Vector at the other end of it. Despite using his non-dominant hand, he had force behind the blow and it certainly would have knocked Nasch off balance had he not seen it. Confusion must have been apparent on his face because Vector locked eyes with him and chuckled menacingly.

“I don't need my broken arm to fight, Nasch. I'm ambidextrous when it comes to fighting one-handed,” he said. It was a skill he found it necessary to learn when he was originally learning to fight. God forbid something happen in the middle of a fight and he was left helpless.

This slightly worried Nasch as he had never seen Vector fight before. Thank God the swords were too dull to do any damage aside from a few bruises if they made a hard enough impact. He didn't reply to the man instead, he placed both hands on the grip of his sword and leaned into it, forcing Vector off of him with all his weight.

“You're playing a dangerous game. I won't go easy on you,” Nasch replied with a smirk.

Vector lunged at him in the way he taught before and Nasch successfully swatted his blade to the side. “Good, I don't need you to.”

Their swords crashed together again and again as they spared with each other. Vector had enough speed and agility to outmatch Nasch by three times. However, Nasch had weight and strength, upon which his techniques were heavily based. Both were masters in their own ways and both needed this time to sharpen their skills.

Vector's technique was so agile that it seemed like he was dancing around Nasch with every strike. His sword became an extension of his arm as he swung quick and with power.

Nasch caught on to a pattern though, a fatal flaw in Vector's fancy footwork. He was able to diverge Vector's attention to his own sword when he swung haphazardly as if he made a mistake. He let Vector scrape the dull blade along his ribcage and used this opening to trip him, sending him tumbling to the ground, gasping for air. It was a small price to pay for the satisfaction of watching the man tumble onto his back.

However, as quickly as Vector fell, he stood, somehow using the momentum from his fall as a springboard. He twisted behind the Emperor and placed the tip of his blade In between his shoulder blades. It was a light touch but it was noticeable. Very noticeable.

_'We can't afford the ferryman.’_

Nasch gasped and pulled away quickly. He turned around to look at Vector, wide-eyed with shock. His grip on the sword in his hand loosened and sent it clambering unceremoniously to the ground. He stood there for what seemed like an eternity on the verge of panic. He mumbled something under his breath as if he was in a daze. Wherever his mind was, it wasn’t here.

Vector had no idea what to do.

“Nasch?” He called softly. “Are you alright?”

Nasch shook the fear from his face at the call of his name. “Fine. I just… I don't know what just happened.”

He let out an unsteady breath. And looked at his trembling hands. Maybe it was the overexertion or maybe it was the ghost of pain from his past but damn, his back was killing him.

Vector placed his sword on the ground and took a few steps towards the Emperor who at this moment seemed unapologetically human. “Maybe that's enough for today,” Vector said with a feigned worried smile.

“I think so,” Nasch replied as he bent down to pick up the sword he dropped. “That's enough,” he repeated softly.

He picked up his sword despite the sharp pain that shot down his back and into his legs as he bent over. “That's enough,” he said again, like a mantra.

Vector watched him with a careful eye. He'd seen this before. Not from Nasch but from his mother after his father raised his hands in frustration. There was no strike and no attempt made to harm though. Panic triggered by some seemingly harmless action. Maybe pressing the sword to his back wasn't the best idea somehow.

Wait. His injury.

Vector had seen the scar a few times. It sunk into his skin and decorated his back like some sort of demented trophy. 'Hey, you lived,’ it seemed to say. 'But now you'll deal with the consequences for the rest of your life.’

He pitied him in some odd way. Demons chose the worst time to present themselves, Vector knew this well. However, for some reason he wanted to pull Nasch into his arms and hold him. He would have done so if he was someone else and not someone with a game to win. Despite this, he had a part to play and a facade to keep up.

He picked up his sword and placed it back on the rack next to Nasch's. He looked at him. He presented himself as calm and collected but Vector wasn't a fool. He saw the fear that still presented itself in Nasch's eyes.

“You're sure that you're okay?” He asked.

“Fine. Just tired,” Nasch replied with a chuckle and a smile.

Vector couldn't decide who was better at playing the part, the Emperor, or himself.

“Let's go upstairs,” Nasch said.

Vector couldn't help but agree. He followed Nasch out of the room, up the stairs and into the hallway. However, instead of turning towards the spiral staircase, he turned left towards the grand foyer. Vector followed him out of the main entrance and saw what. Nasch was looking for.

Iris was playing in the gardens with Merag and that young priest. He saw the onslaught of snowballs that Iris unleashed on Merag and couldn't help but smile. Not much had the power to turn his cold heart warm but for some reason, children were his weakness.

Once Nasch was satisfied with the sight he turned back around and went inside. This time, he head for the spiral staircase. As they climbed, he expected Nasch to make some joke about the stair that broke his arm but he didn't. He stayed silent as they made their way into his rooms.

Nasch turned right into his bedroom and unbuttoned his jacket as he did so. He hung it in the closet and winced at the pain in his shoulders. He paused before he attempted to raise his arms again in attempt number two to hang his jacket. Vector debated on helping him but instead came in and laid down on the bed under the covers. Nasch hung his jacket successfully and unfastened his trousers, swapping them for a much more comfortable pair of riding leggings. He took off his starched shirt and hung that too, with a bit of a struggle. He decided to forego replacing his shirt as that would mean he needed to raise his arms more and cause himself more unnecessary pain. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, resting his elbows on his knees and slouching.

“Lay down, Nasch,” Vector told him.

“I'm getting there,” he chuckled.

It took the Emperor a few more moments of what Vector supposed was preparation for the pain that came when he stretched his back to lie down. This gave Vector an opportunity to look at his scar. Although his hair was covering the majority of it, it did stretch halfway down his back. Although he didn't know the extent of the circumstances, it most definitely was a painful injury for a child to receive. He debated asking about it but considering what he just witnessed, he let it be.

That was definitely it. Anything surrounding sharp objects around the scar. Vector had found the trigger and made a mental note of it in case an opportunity should arise where he need to use it. He didn't anticipate one happening but it was better to be prepared just in case. He wondered what would happen if he raked his nails down his back the next time he fucked him into the mattress. He'd have to try sometime in some sort of demented experiment.

Instead of climbing fully into the bed, Nasch left his legs where they were and laid his torso and head back with a slow. He remained tense for a few moments before Vector saw him relax. It took a little while longer for him to swivel his legs onto the mattress and even longer for him to climb under the covers with his pillow tucked tightly under his head and shoulders to support his neck.

He laid closed his eyes tightly and sighed as he relaxed fully. Vector kept his eyes on the man for a few more moments before he decided to move closer to him. He was never one for cuddling but was freakishly cold, after all.

He curled up close to Nasch, and kept his eyes on him, observing carefully as if he was looking for something. When he found nothing else, he closed his eyes. It was amusing that Nasch had no idea that a storm laid dormant next to him in his own bed. Vector had to keep himself from smiling at the thought. He had the Emperor wrapped around his finger and there was nothing the man could do to unravel the knots.

He was just about to fall asleep he felt some foreign emotion rise in his chest as Nasch rolled onto his side and pulled him closer. It was most definitely not guilt. That was something Vector was sure he was incapable of feeling towards Nasch. However as he attempted to decipher it, he felt something painful sting his heart.

This was guilt.

Nasch loved him and it was something he made apparent in almost everything he did for him. Vector intended to do nothing more than play him like a game, use his emotions and turn them to benefit himself. However, seeing Nasch in a daze in the sparring room made him realize he would only cause more of those moments. He would ruin the only think Nasch held onto throughout his life, love.

He turned onto his side to hopefully free himself from the Emperor’s death grip on him but Nasch held onto him tightly and held him in a way he’d never been until Nasch came into the picture. His back was pressed closely to Nasch’s chest. So close that he could feel his heart beating. Vector forced himself to relax into this. He couldn’t alarm Nasch, it would only ruin his game.

He focused instead on the feeling rising in his chest, growing stronger with each moment he stayed like this. He felt his heart pounding under Nasch’s hand and he knew he noticed. Nasch was a master at picking up on things like this. He just hoped he wouldn’t say something to point it out. Vector had no idea how to explain it because he had no idea what was going on himself.

At this moment he wanted nothing more than to hold the man next to him tightly and kiss him. He ignored his urges and pushed them aside, growing slightly alarmed at this feeling which was out of his control. He didn’t like this one bit. He was always in control. It was something he prided himself on.

He fell asleep with more questions swirling around in his mind than he could answer.

He woke just as the sun began to set. Nasch sat up in bed now, most of the pain having subsided. He was reading something. Vector stayed silent and took the time to admire the Emperor against everything he knew was good.

It was odd how he went from a weak, spineless human to something closely resembling a god in a matter of hours. Damn, this man was gorgeous.

Vector sat up and rested his head on the man's shoulder. In turn, Nasch pulled his arm under him and pulled him closer, holding the book with one hand. Vector settled his head on Nasch’s chest and glanced at the page of the novel in front of him. He laughed. “A romance novel?”

Nasch sighed as he closed the book and placed it on top of his nightstand. “Unfortunately,” Nasch replied with a smile. He relaxed back into the pillows and closed his eyes. “I can only read so much non-fiction before I start to crave something else.”

Vector chuckled. “I never expected the mighty Emperor of the Seven Lands to enjoy romance novels.”

“I never expected the brutal, unforgiving Crown Prince of Austrania to be a master at painting,” he replied sarcastically.

“Nasch,” he said in protest.

They fell into a comfortable silence until they heard giggling and the uneven pattering of Iris's boots against the marble floor in the hallway. They jumped apart from each other. Vector threw himself out of Nasch's bed and pulled his mother's shawl around his shoulders, over his blouse. Nasch Rose quickly from his bed and pulled a blouse out of his closet before he pulled on his grey cardigan.

Iris was an obstacle Vector hadn't planned. She would get in between him and Nasch and this was something he didn't like. However, he couldn't deny her right to him, to a father. He'd just have to find a way around her. He sat down in front of the fireplace in the bedroom and lit it after some error. He was never good at starting fires with a flint and steel.

He sat there as he watched Nasch walk out of the room to greet Iris.

“Woa, hold on. You're wet. You'll ruin the floor if you come in here with those boots on,” he heard him say with a laugh.

“I had so much fun, Nasch! I've never really played in the snow before! But my back hurts so we had to come inside.”

“I'm glad you had fun, let me untie your boots. You  start undoing your coat so we can get you warmed up by the fire.”

“Okay.”

It wasn't too long until she came walking into the bedroom and sat down next to Vector in front of the fire. She smiled at him before he turned towards at the fire. Nasch came n after a few moments and wrapped her in the knitted blanket they had forgotten to give Jethro back and walked back into his sitting room. Iris pulled it tighter around her and Vector realized she was shivering slightly. He pushed her closer to the fire and threw another log on.

“I take it you had a good day, Iris,” he said.

“Yeah! And I haven't had a coughing fit since last night,” she replied.

Vector thought it was odd that she had so much energy despite her frail stature. Normally, people, this thin were bedridden for weeks but somehow she had energy to spare. Iris settled down a bit, calmed by the crackling of the fire.

“You're from Austrania, right?” She asked.

“I am,” he replied. “I was born there.”

“What are you doing here? You're really far from home,” she said.

“I'm visiting for a little while. Nasch and I have been friends for years and we haven't seen each other in a really long time.”

“Oh. Well, I'm glad you're here. It's really nice to meet you!”

There was a lull in the conversation as he heard Nasch talking to Merag. She was saying something about how Iris needed new boots and a proper coat. The one she wore fit well but had become slightly worn in the elbows. Nasch agreed and walked back into his bedroom a few moments later.

“I lit the fire in the hearth,” he said. “I'm heating up some broth for you, Iris. I can imagine you'd be hungry after running around all morning. It's leftover stew for us tonight, Vector."

Iris rose from her seat and walked with Nasch into the sitting room. Vector stayed in the bedroom for a bit longer before he decided to grab his sketchbook and graphite and sit at the desk in the other room quietly. He walked in just in time to see Nasch handed Iris a cup of broth for her to sip on.

He sat next to her on the sofa and listened to her ramble on about how Cherry hit her in the face with a snowball.

“It was massive! And it hit me right on the nose!” She said.

“I hope you hit her with one back,” he replied.

“I can't throw very well because of my back but Merag definitely did!”

She laughed and from across the room Vector hid his smile.

“Good. As long as someone got her back,” Nasch laughed with her. “After that cup of broth, it's off to bed for you. It's getting late.”

“It's not that late, Nasch! Can't I stay up a little longer?” She asked with puppy dog eyes.

“On one condition,” He said.

“I'll do it!”

“You don't even know what it is yet!” Vector heard Nasch’s laugh from his seat and couldn’t stop the smile that rose to his face.

 _‘What is going on?’_ He heard the voice in his head ask.

“I don't care. I'll do it!” Iris replied.

Nasch smiled at her and pushed her hair out of her face. “This is something big, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I'm going to ask you to cut your hair.”

Even Vector turned around to gaze at Nasch in confusion. Then he realized. Despite this being a clever ploy to get It to bed if she denied, her hair was brittle and breaking off anyway. It was at an awkward length because of the malnutrition. Cutting it off and making it even would also help it grow back stronger. He turned back around to his sketchbook and thought nothing else of it.

“I had a feeling you were gonna ask that. Merag mentioned it,” she said quietly. She didn't want to, that was apparent. Nasch anticipated her disagreeing and heading right to bed after she finished. It was still an option she had. However, that was not what happened. “I'll do it,”

After she said yes, Nasch leaned over and hugged her. “I'm so proud of you,” he said.

This earned him and another large smile from the little girl. “Thank you, Nasch.”

They sat in comfortable silence until Iris finished her cup of broth. She handed the mug to Nasch who placed it on the ground next to him. “Whenever you're ready, Iris.”

She stood and turned towards him with confidence in her eyes. “Let's do it.”

Nasch stood and motioned for her to follow him into his bathroom. She followed slowly and turned into the room. Nasch grabbed the pair of snips he gave to Merag to cut his own hair occasionally and positioned Iris in front of floor length mirror. He wrapped his arms lightly around her shoulders. “Ready?” He asked.

“Ready,” she replied.

Nasch pressed his cheek to hers with a smile and pulled back. He began to comb through her hair gently and once he was finished, he found the part where it was at its thickest, right above her collarbone. He pulled it back behind her shoulders and began cutting it just above that spot. It didn't take too long thankfully and before he knew it, Iris had a smile on her face. He finished and combed it through again just to double check it was perfect. He pat her shoulder lightly.

“Okay, what do you think?” he asked her.

Iris stepped towards the mirror. She ran her fingers through it and carefully surveyed the job he had done. It was short, much shorter than it was, just barely touching her shoulders but it looked healthier and fuller than before.

“I can get used to it,” she replied.

“That doesn't mean I did a good job,” Nasch said with a chuckle as he reached for the broom in the corner.

“No, it looks good. It's just not what I'm used to,” she said.

She turned around and hugged him around the waist. “You did a good job,” she said with a smile. “Can you still braid it if it's this short?”

“I can braid my own hair and it's just a bit longer than that.”

Iris pulled the leather cord he had given her out of her pocket and smiled at him as she held it up. “Please?”

“Let me finish sweeping this up. Could you grab me the dustpan?”

She agreed and went to the corner where Nasch kept the broom. She knelt down and held it in place as Nasch finished sweeping up the hair he had cut off. He took the dustpan from her and placed it in the corner, making a mental note to get rid of it later.

“Now?”

“Go change into your chemise first.”

She rolled her eyes at him and walked off to do as she was told.

Nasch walked back into the sitting room and sat on the desk. Vector was still attempting to fix up the drawing from last night but as a consequence, it only looked messier. Vector looked up at him and leaned back in his chair. “What?”

Nasch took this opportunity to kiss him roughly. He moved back all too soon and only left Vector wanting more. He grabbed Nasch by the collar and pulled him back in to get what he deserved. Despite being an overly emotional mess, Nasch was an excellent kisser. Though, that was most likely what made him good at it; daddy issues and things. They pulled back when they heard Iris walking back down the hallway. She came in with her doll in hand and sat on the sofa with her legs pulled up onto the cushions.

‘Later,’ Nasch mouthed with a wink before he head over to sit next to Iris.

She handed him the cord and relaxed. At this moment, Nasch couldn't have asked for more. He braided her hair as she asked and soon, he'd go put her to bed. He would return to his companion who would most likely be waiting in bed for him already.

He'd just have to remember to lock the bedroom door though.

Normally when people saw it closed, they knew he didn't want to be bothered. Iris definitely did not know this. In order to avoid an awkward exchange with the girl he adopted two days prior, locking it was a must.

Iris began to yawn and Nasch took this opportunity to get her to bed. “You've had a big day,” he said. “It's time for bed.”

This time he wasn't met with a protest. Instead, Iris stood and waited for him to follow her into her bedroom. He did and together they walked slowly as the pain in her back was starting to increase. He picked her up once they reached the doorway and placed her down. They said goodnight and Nasch remembered to close the bedroom door behind him.

He had to stop himself from running back onto his own bedroom though. He glanced around his sitting room and found that Vector had put the fire out. He then turned into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. He locked it with an audible click and turned around to find Vector already laying in bed like he thought he would be. He toed his shoes off by the door and unfastened his belt as he walked to him.

“Close the curtains on your side. You should be able to just pull the cord,” Nasch told him.

Together, they closed the thick curtains around the bed to trap heat in and before Nasch could even think, Vector was on top of him, kissing him violently, all teeth and tongue.

All in all, this was setting up to be a fantastic night.


	15. Travel

Spring: Year 3

 

“Iris, are you finished packing yet? We have to leave soon,” Nasch called for her.

The little girl came out of her room dragging her suitcase with one hand and her doll in the other. “Ready!”

Iris had lived in the palace for nearly three weeks and she was almost fully adjusted. She now had clothes and shoes that fit her properly and weren't hand-me-downs for the first time. Her gait had improved considerably as well as her weight. It was a remarkable sight, watching her grow like this. Nasch considered himself the luckiest man in the world for being able to watch her grow in this way. He compared it to a phoenix, born from ashes into a burning hot flame.

With nutrition and weight gain came more energy. This was something Nasch didn't think was possible considering the limitless energy she had when she first came to live with him. She constantly bounced off the walls and had joy and smiles to spare for the numerous people she saw during her time downstairs. Nasch even hired a tutor for her and she began her studies simply learning to read and write, both of which were a struggle but Nasch made her read scripture to him before both of them went to bed. She showed a particular interest in studying his religion and wash night her reading skills improved.

She held her head up high with confidence and wasn't afraid to introduce herself whenever Nasch brought her along somewhere. She had even come with him to a public appearance in the Capital and carried herself with grace. Thanks to the hours of nervous coaching from Nasch beforehand. In a year or two, she would most definitely be ready to be named his heir and officially be known as the Princess of the Seven United Lands.

But that was a long time away.

Nasch smiled at her and took her suitcase for her. They walked downstairs together, chatting happily about the small “vacation” of sorts that they were about to take. Iris was now also able to walk down the spiral staircase if she took her time. She did so slowly with a death grip on the railing. Nasch walked a few steps in front of her to catch her if she fell every time.

“So you never really get to leave the palace?” She asked as they descended.

“Not often but I manage to steal two or three days for Beltane every year. So Merag and I go home. We always drag Durbe along with us,” he replied.

“Vector's coming too, right?”

Nasch chuckled. “He is, he should be downstairs already.”

Eventually, they made it to the bottom of the stairs and Nasch waved to the guards posted there. Iris bid them good morning as they walked past and both of them bowed in respect and acknowledgment of the girl before drawing their weapons and crossing them over the door.

They walked to the front door of the palace and came in contact with the full armored escort that would walk them to the docks safely. The ice was completely gone and the weather had broken, leaving the promise of warmer days. Iris was excited about this mainly because it meant her birthday was around the corner.

At the bottom of the stairs, Vector waited with his canvas bag over his shoulder. He was finally able to get rid of the splint and settle for a sling when his arm became tender. Unfortunately, he wasn't wearing the sling so Nasch couldn't tease him for it.

Iris hugged the Prince and together the three of them walked to the docks and onto the Imperial where it's captain and crew were waiting anxiously. They all greeted Nasch with enthusiasm as old friends do and promised him they could tell stories over a few drinks after everyone else had gone to bed. After all, they had a day and a half on this ship. That meant they had a day and a half to catch up on a lot of time spent apart. The three walked into Nasch's private cabin on the ship and set their things down.

It was small as most cabins were and had a bed, untouched for a while, pressed up against the wall with a plank of wood on the other side to keep whoever occupied it from rolling out unexpectedly. Another one was across the cabin, pressed up against the other wall. Nasch offered one of them to Merag and the other to Iris, knowing he'd much rather spend time with his friends than sleep. There would be plenty of time for that once they reached their destination but he could find an extra bunk with them if need be. An oil lamp hung from the ceiling. It swayed with the tide and cast animated shadows on the room.

Iris took off towards the deck without a warning to explore as she did often. She left her doll sitting on a table in the room and let the door behind her slam accidentally and yelled a hasty apology before he heard her footsteps run in the direction of the ladder leading above deck.

“She's a ball of energy, isn't she?” Vector laughed as he sat cross-legged on the mattress.

“She is. Don't know where it comes from for the life of me.” Nasch sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You're sure that you'll be alright? You mentioned before that you get seasick easily.”

“I already feel it setting in. I'll be fine if I lock myself in my cabin. Don't worry about me,” he replied.

Nasch laughed before he kissed him quickly on the lips. “Don't get sick in here if you can prevent it.”

“I've never been that bad, Nasch. It's just a little nausea.”

He kissed him again and let himself linger for a little longer before he heard footsteps outside and head into the other cabin across the way. This one was for other dignitaries that weren't quite the Emperor but still deserved to stay in private quarters. They heard the footsteps walk away and relaxed.

“You might want to move your things before people get suspicious,” Nasch whispered with a smile.

“And before I get too nauseous,” Vector added with a wink.

He picked up his bag and exited the room just in time for Merag to walk in and place her suitcases under the bed Nasch currently sat on. She laid down on the bed with a sigh. “I've been up all fucking night,” she said.

“Doing what?”

“Midwifery. I fucking hate it.”

Nasch stood and walked out of the room. He closed the door as quietly as he could behind him as to not disturb his sleepless sister. He heads above deck to watch it leave port and to see where Iris was. She was sitting on a barrel in the corner carefully observing the crew scramble around as they prepared to get underway. Kellem stood by the wheel, barking orders. Iris seemed unphased by this. Nasch sat on the barrel next to her and watched the crew carefully as she did, mostly for material to tease them on later.

The first time they set about this year went smoothly. The sailors’ finely tuned skills hadn't died down a bit in the office season and Nasch found himself proud in the choice of the crew for this ship. Soon, the docks and the capital were behind them and the activity settled down a fair bit as the men settled into their tasks. Nasch hopped off his barrel and took Iris into his arms. He walked directly to the bow so she could see what the figurehead of Hecate saw. She looked at the gulls and commented on how loud their squawking was compared to the palace.

“They've just come back for the summer,” Nasch told her. “They'll be at the palace soon enough.”

They were interesting birds but extremely messy. They gave the palace staff a run for their money in the warmer months and became a wake-up call every morning. As soon as they were squawking, everyone was awake with no hope of falling back asleep. Nasch found it particularly humerus that one would smack into his bedroom window from time to time. They'd sit dazed on his balcony for a few moments before they flew off again. That was always an alarming awakening if it happened.

“They're so noisy,” Iris said.

“Yes, they are. It's a nice headache in the summer.”

Iris rolled her eyes and snickered. “They're still singing, Nasch! They're just not as good at it as other birds.”

That was something he'd have to remember. Iris was full of one-liners and bits of childlike wisdom. There was a time he was stressed with his tasks and the things he had to complete within a day. Iris marched up to him and said, “But that's like four things! That's not too many.”

Since then, he's looked at his tasks like that. It helped them go by faster.

She had changed his life in so many ways in the shortest possible time. She changed his heart too. He never saw himself as a father before. He didn't even think he was capable of doing something along the lines of child rearing but here he was with Iris in his arms on his way to visit family.

_Oh shit._

He forgot to tell his family about Iris. This was sure to be an interesting visit home.

“When's the last time you've been to Pelia, Iris?” He asked her.

“Well, before daddy died… That would have to be- two years ago?”

“That's a long time away from home, love,” he replied.

“I dunno. I don't miss it much. I've got a better home now.” She hugged him tight around the neck and pressed her cheek to his with a smile.

They fell into silence as Iris watched the birds. Eventually, his arms get tired and he placed her down. He knelt in front of her, meeting her eyes and took her hands in his own. “Never forget where you came from though. One day it'll be far behind you. So far you can barely remember it but never forget who you were before all of this,” he told her.

He knew his words went over her head and disregarded. However, he held onto the hope that one day she'd remember this moment and hold onto it when palace life became too much.

“I don't plan on it, Nasch,” she replied.

Kellem called her name from the wheel in the stern and she took off running haphazardly towards him, her gait still somewhat unsteady. She climbed the stairs with relative ease and stood next to him happily and excitedly asking him questions about the ship and how he captained it. He answered all with a smile until Iris was picked up by the first mate, Hogan, who took her to look at a different part of the ship. Nasch was content in watching his friends interact with her in the way they did. Each and every one of them addressed her questions and met them with answers as they showed her around. Nasch stood on the bow, content with the sight.

He missed this. He missed sailing on the open ocean with his friends and the chaos that came with sailing on less than perfect ships, which the Imperial was not. He closed his eyes and leaned on the wooden railing for a few moments to take everything in. He would have been content if this were the rest of his life. No stress of being royalty, no Emperor this and Emperor that. Just the ocean.

He listened carefully to the waves hit the hull like it was the most beautiful song he'd ever heard and ever would hear. The breeze pushed his hair back behind his shoulders which gave him the idea to tie it back before it got too tangled. As soon as he finished tying it back in a messy bun, he heard his name called from the Crow's nest. He looked up to see the youngest of the crew, Malone, waving at him.

 _'Of course they stuck him up there,’_ he thought.

He ascended the cargo net slowly and reached the top out of breath. He was out of practice, that was for sure. He stood and hugged Malone quickly before he sat down in hopes to regain his breath.

“Missed ya, Nasch. What ya been up to?” He asked.

“Not much to do in winter around the palace. I do have Iris now though,” he replied.

“I've been meaning to ask you 'bout her. How'd that happen?”

“Long story short, she survived the same Donassisean torture that I did. I heard about her, went to see her in the orphanage she was in, and ended up leaving with her. Not what I expected to happen,” he laughed. “My parents don't know either. I completely forgot to tell them.”

“I already know your dad's not gonna like it.”

“Well, this is one thing he'll just have to deal with. She's not leaving that's for sure.”

“Did ya ever fix yer daddy issues?”

Nasch cringed at the mention of his “issues”.  He remembered the last time he'd seen them all in the dead of winter and drunk as all hell below deck. He forgot completely Kellem spilled his secret but he knew he didn't need to worry around this crew, it wouldn't get any further.

“No. They've just gotten more… interesting,” he eventually replied.

“You'll give me the details later,” Malone said as he scanned the horizon. “My girl’s promised me her hand. We'll be married by next spring I hope.”

Nasch laughed. “If you get married before next spring, I'll let you get high with Kellem and me,” he said.

“I'll hold you to it.” Malone extended his hand to Nasch and shook it. “That's a deal. I'll never let you forget it.

Malone was three years younger than the rest of them and started sailing later too. He became a younger brother to the boys quickly as they sought to protect him from all of the shady situations that sailing tended to bring about, hard drugs being the main one. Nasch knew all too well about them. Kellem did too. That was a rough part of his past he was willing to talk about if asked. It was possibly the only one.

“God, you'll be married at seventeen. Meanwhile, I have no idea what's going to happen to me.”

“You might have to put your tastes aside for your kingdom,” Malone replied.

“I've put so much aside for my kingdom. 'My tastes’ are the only thing I won't budge on. Besides, I have Iris now. She has every right to be named my heir.

“Does she know?”

Nasch chuckled. “About me being a little light in the loafers? No. Don't know how to tell her. I'll figure it out when she asks about it I guess,” he replied with a sigh.

There was so much of this 'parenting’ thing he had yet to figure out. Surprisingly most of it came instinctively. At least he thought it was instinct. He wasn't the worst father in the world. After all, he could be dead.

“So everyone aboard knows but her?”

“Yeah.”

Silence fell between them before Nasch stood and pat Malone on the back roughly. “I'd better say 'hello' to the rest of 'em and find out where Iris is. We'll talk later. I brought the good whiskey.”

Malone smiled and returned to his post as Nasch somewhat struggled to descend the cargo net. He made it to the bottom with a huff and wiped his now raw hands on the thighs of his trousers. He looked around to find the rest of the crew absorbed in their tasks as Iris still bounded around and watched them. She'd make a good sailor if she wasn't stuck in the palace all the time.

Nasch head back below deck to check on Vector who was most likely nauseous and curled up under the blankets. It was no surprise that was exactly what Nasch walked into. He sat cross-legged on the bed and laid a hand on Vector's now pale face. Even in the oddest of circumstances, Vector still took his breath away. He brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face and unfastened his hip flask of water. He offered it to him with a smile.

“You look like you could use some,” he said.

Vector sat up slowly and took it from Nasch's hands. He drank from it carefully with shaky hands. “I'm keeping this with me,” he said as he screwed the cap back on and laid down.

“You know, staying below deck only makes it worse,” Nasch said. “I'm dragging you out of bed after the sun sets.”

“No,” he replied. “I’m not leaving this cabin till we land.”

“The wind helps, trust me. I sailed for five years.”

“God knows how,” Vector replied. “Fuck, I can barely be on a boat for a few moments before I get sick to my stomach.”

“Like I said. I'm dragging you out of bed at some point. There's no shame in sleeping on deck. You aren't on the ocean that often.”

“They don't know that.”

Nasch kissed Vector's forehead. “Yes, they do. There are dignitaries that do it all the time.”

Vector groaned as he turned onto his side. “Give me till sunset then.”

Vector rolled into his back and placed the metal flask to his forehead, hoping to ease the nausea. Nasch stayed with him for a while, whispering loving words for him as he brushed his fringe off of his clammy forehead. He didn't know why he agreed, morbid curiosity most likely.

Nasch eventually kicked his shoes off and let them fall loudly on the ground. He crawled into the bed with Vector and held him from behind. His arm was wrapped around his companion's chest tightly, pulling him so close that he could feel Nasch heart beating. He buried his face into Vector's hair and rest with the man for a while, listening to the noise coming from the deck.

The creak of the floorboards and the dulled voices of the men above provided the perfect backdrop for this moment. Despite the noose and activity outside of the cabin, inside was perfectly still, calm, and quiet.

God in heaven, he was hopelessly in love with this man and nothing in the world could stop him from falling more for him.

He knew his feelings weren't returned in the same way they were given. It hurt, yes, but he could mask that as long as Vector let him hold and kiss him. Nasch pulled him tighter to his chest and hummed in satisfaction. Despite the fact that Vector was desperately seasick, Nasch still found him amazingly beautiful. Holding him like this, he realized that they fit together perfectly. Like pieces of a puzzle that just so happened to interlock amid the thousands of others scrambled about.

He prayed that he wouldn't hear footsteps walking towards them so he wouldn't have to move. He hated keeping things like this hidden, but it was for the best. No one would understand the way that he loved Vector. He was sure if he fully understood it either.

“Nasch?” Vector whispered.

“Mhm?”

“What are we going to do with this?” He asked.

“With what?”

“Us. Someone's going to find out eventually,” Vector said.

“Kellem already knows but that man will take a secret to the grave.”

“Not Kellem. I mean someone like Durbe or Merag.”

“Deal with the consequences, I suppose. Not much we can do.”

“What would those consequences be? I don't want people thinking anything different of me.”

“People tend to not question the Emperor. You'll be fine,” Nasch replied as he kissed the back of Vector's head. “I mean, people definitely knew about my previous lovers but they dare not to ask anything. Gossip might spread fast but they never have confirmation.”

After a few moments of silence vector spoke. spoke. "Who were you with before me?" He asked.

Nasch sighed. “Damien was my most recent before you.”

“Before him?”

“Quite a few one night stands,” he responded with a sigh. He hoped Vector wouldn't question things further.

Vector turned on his other side to face Nasch. “Were you ever with Durbe?”

_‘Fuck. What brought this question about?’_

“When I was sixteen,” he replied hesitantly. “It was the kind of forbidden love you read about in fairytales. It just so happened that it was immensely one-sided.”

“On your part, I'm guessing.”

“Unfortunately.”

They fell into silence as Vector realized Nasch's adversity to Durbe going for Merag. He would have been with both of the twins. That in and of itself was an accomplishment to be proud of in Vector's eyes. If not slightly gross.

“So how about you?” Nasch asked. “I'm definitely not your first lover.”

Lover. Is that what they were?

No. That didn't seem right.

“Well,” Vector sighed. “I had a fiance.”

Nasch pulled back slightly and looked at Vector confused. He didn't answer though, he didn't know what to say.

“Katia. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Shame it was an arranged marriage though. There was no genuine love there but there was immense respect.”

“If you don't mind me asking, what happened?”

“She went missing three months before I left for here. No one knows why or where she went. We would have been married during the last harvest festival if she hadn't disappeared.”

“She just left?”

“Without a trace. I woke up one morning to find that she wasn't next to me. The guards had an investigation but… nothing. I still wonder what happened to her and can't help but think my father had something to do with it,” Vector replied.

His engagement was no secret. It's not like Nasch wouldn't have figured it out anyway. He thought about her often. About how they cared for each other despite there being no genuine love. When Vector thought of it, he had never experienced love before. But here in the calm ship's cabin, Vector couldn't help but feel some foreign emotion pulling at his chest.

“Your heart's racing, Vector. Are you sure you're alright?” Nasch asked. Of course he noticed.

“Fine,” he replied. He'd have to figure out that emotion later and push it to the side, whatever it was. He had better things to do than let feelings come into play.

He still held onto the hope that when he returned, Katia would welcome him home. They'd sit by the fire and talk about where she went and why she left so suddenly and without a word. He'd have to ask her why she left all of her things too. He'd hold and kiss her after and if he played his cards right, he'd lay with her. After all, she was the closest thing he had to a lover before Nasch came along and fucked things up.

His heart showed no signs of slowing down as his thoughts drifted back and forth as the ship swayed with the waves. He pressed his face into Nasch's chest and forced himself to relax. He could hear Nasch's breathing, deep and slow. He had no idea he would like being held and by another man. Despite this type of relationship being okay in his own eyese and the eyes of his culture, this still felt particularly scandalous.

Vector sorted through his thoughts for what seemed like hours until they heard the inevitable footsteps walking towards the cabin. Nasch sat up quickly and straightened his jacket. He sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed to keep face for when Durbe walked in.

“I'm kicking you out, Nasch. I'm going to bed,” Durbe said.

“Did the sun set already?” He asked.

“Yeah. They're all done up there for the day,” he replied.

Nasch stood and put his shoes back on. “Let's go, Vector. You'll feel better once you're out in the wind.”

Vector hated himself for agreeing to let Nasch drag him out of bed but he sat up and stood slowly. He wrapped the blanket around himself and slipped on his shoes. He handed Nasch the hip flask which the Emperor fastened back to his belt. They walked out of the cabin and climbed the ladder carefully. The sails were wrapped and tied tight for the night and the crew sat around telling stories to Iris by the light of the full moon. At the sight of Nasch, Iris ran to him and hugged him around the waist.

“Bed,” Nasch said with a smile and a kiss to the top of her head.

She agreed and walked off. Nasch didn't move until he heard the door to his cabin slam accidentally again. He walked towards his friends and joined them in the circle on the deck. He took up the place where Iris sat, in-between Kellem and Hogan.

“Walk to the bow and look at the horizon. It'll help,” he told Vector.

“Seasick?” One of the men asked.

“Yeah,” Vector replied without looking at them. He walked right for the bow and stood, leaning his arms on the railing and looking out at the horizon as Nasch told him.

“Bout that whiskey, Nasch,” Malone asked.

Suddenly, all eyes turned towards the Emperor. He rose from his spot with a smile to go retrieve the bottle he stashed in his suitcase. He returned and popped the cork with his teeth. He opened it before he left in the morning just so he could watch their faces. He was the master of stupid pub tricks and wouldn't be defeated. He sat back down, took a drink from the bottle and passed to Hogan on his left.

 _“I'll eat when I'm hungry, I'll drink when I'm dry,”_ one of them began singing as the bottle was passed around.

 _“If the hard times don't kill me, I'll lay down and die_  
_Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry_ _  
If you don't give me rye whiskey I surely will die._ ”

The bottle made it three-quarters of the way around the circle as each man got their first share.

“Wouldn't call it a trip with you all without a song or two,” Nasch said as Kellem handed him back the bottle. “I'm surprised you still remember that one, Tracey. You don't hear it too often.”

“I think of it every time I have whiskey,” he replied.

Nasch took another drink from the bottle and passed it around like before.

“Iris was good for you guys today?”

“She was great. You got yourself a sailor in a couple years,” Kellem replied.

“We'll see where she is in a couple of years. She already wants to learn Sailor's Gaelic,” Nasch said.

“Does she really?”

“Yeah, her father apparently knew-”

“Oh fuck you, Nasch!” Vector yelled from across the ship

Nasch stood again to go check on him. He was happy to see he wasn't as pale as before. Vector stood, slightly perturbed but mostly relieved to be rid of the majority of his nausea. Nasch looked at him with a glare that screamed 'I told you so’ and invited him over to the group of his friends. He refused the whiskey Hogan offered him and sat next to Nasch.

“Wait. Did you fucking skip me?”

“You weren't here Emperor _,_ ” Hogan said sarcastically.

The men laughed as they handed the bottle back to Nasch who took his third drink from it and passed it back to Hogan.

“So he's one of us,” Malone said.

“With a foul mouth? Absolutely,” Kellem laughed. “Not your typical royal, I'll tell you that much.”

“Nothing about me is 'typical’ thank you very much,” Vector replied sarcastically.

An awkward silence fell among them as someone finished the bottle and placed it empty in the center of the circle, upright. They let the alcohol take hold in silence. Thousands of questions were burning their minds but they were all too scared to ask.

“Alright,” Kasey said. “I'll go first. Who wears the pants?”

Nasch laughed. “On a good night, neither of us.”

Vector looked at him shocked. “They know?”

“I forgot to tell you. They got me drunk a month ago and Kellem ratted me out,” Nasch said as he punched Kellem in the arm. His speech began to slur and it was somewhat adorable. “He can keep a secret alright but not around these guys while drunk.”

Had he been in other company, he would have been offended. Instead, he moved closer to Nasch and rested his head on his shoulder. Might as well play the part if they all knew he and Nasch were sleeping together. That feeling in his chest returned. It was weird and uncomfortable. Now that he knew it wasn't the nausea, he was able to try and decipher it. He half listened to the men in front of him talk happily about where they spent the winter.

He watched Nasch as he placed a hand on his forehead. "Fuck, been a while since I've been this drunk," he laughed. Vector swore he noticed the hint of his Sailor's accent coming through. It was interesting seeing Nasch switch back and forth from great and powerful Emperor to something simpler than that, much simpler.

Vector closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Nasch's voice for a while. As he continued to come up with some sort of an explanation for this annoying feeling.He sat up suddenly when he figured out something to call it.

Nasch turned to him, worried he would be sick and backed away slightly. “You alright?”

_A spark, that was it._

“Fine, sorry,” Vector replied. “Just thought of something.”

He had to keep this in check. He couldn't let emotions come into play, not now, not ever.

But there was something about the way Nasch looked in the moonlight that made his heart flutter. There was something in the way Nasch held him that made him never want to move. There was something in the way Nasch looked at him.

There was always something.

Now, this damned spark threatened to ignite a fire and ruin everything he spent his last few months working for. It threatened to tear apart an entire family and ruin reputations. Everything he had worked for in keeping things 'casual’ would be for naught if he let this get in his way.

For the sake of keeping appearances, he moved close to Nasch and laid his head back down on his shoulder. This was a bad idea.

His heart threatened to beat out of his chest as soon as he relaxed. He wanted nothing more than to hold the man next to him, to kiss him and run his fingers through his hair. He thought of the times he saw Nasch smile in his presence. He thought of how ready and willing he was to give. Vector felt a pang of guilt run through him at the thought that he was so ready and willing to take but give nothing in return.

The Emperor let him sleep in his bed and use his rooms to whatever extent Vector wanted at the price of sex every now and then. Vector gave him what he wanted and gave nothing more, nothing in return for the clothes he bought him and the time he spent with him. Vector lied to this man who was so hopelessly in love with him and he let him live this lie.

He picked his head up off of Nasch's shoulder but stayed close. He fully tuned out their conversation as he argued with himself. He couldn't let this spark do anything aside from fizzle out for the sake of everything.

But what did he have at stake, really?

Here in the Seven Lands, he was without anything familiar. He didn't have money, barely had any clothes before he came, and he certainly didn't hold any power here. In fact, no one knew who he was. He wandered about the palace for nearly seven months and no one even batted an eye. He had nothing here.

In Austrania things looked bleak as they always did. They were poor, hopelessly so. Their resources were burnt up from the countless years of warfare and their fields were overfarmed, giving way to massive dust storms in the southern regions. There were times that even he, the Crown Prince, went without a full meal but in the Seven Lands, he had everything he could have needed if we went out to get it. They quickly became one of the richest nations after they flipped their old system on its head. Vector knew he could implement the same tactics back in Austrania once he took the throne. He'd just have to wait patiently till his father died, whenever that would be.

He thought back to the time two years ago when he desperately wanted out of Austrania and the role he was born into. His small taste of freedom left him longing for more than his sparse palace walls. He was tired of the poverty across the nation. This was also around the time that the voice in his head told him that the only way out was death and a slow, agonizing one at that.

He hated these times. He hated himself for letting the voice in his head take over more than it should have.

He had now what he wanted two years ago, a ticket out. He wasn't sure if that was what the person he was now wanted. Deep down somewhere his younger self screamed at him, desperately trying to escape.

 _'Stay,’_ it told him. _'You have nothing to lose.’_

That was a lie. He had his mother and his cousins. They would be worried if he disappeared without a trace. However, he figured that in a few years, he'd become a thought in the back of their minds much as Katia had become for him.

He really did have nothing to lose.

Against everything Vector knew was good, he let the spark ignite.


	16. Home

**Spring: Year 4**

 

Vector woke the next morning to a particularly loud snore from Durbe. He scoffed and rolled over, hoping that the blanket he pulled over his head would muffle the noise. It didn't.

He slowly rose from the bed and slipped his shoes on before seasickness had the chance to set in and went above deck to find Nasch already awake, dressed in casual clothes, and sitting on the stairs towards the stern, reading. He looked absolutely peaceful and at home on the Imperial. It was an interesting thought how Vector had never seen him so relaxed. Even his shoulders hung lower than usual.

The sun had barely begun to rise and Vector cursed at himself for getting up this early but as soon as he woke, nausea started to creep up in his stomach so he couldn't stay locked up in his cabin for too long. He wrapped his blanket tighter around his shoulders and decided to sit next to Nasch on the stairs.

“Still the same romance novel?”

“It's thle sequel to the first,” Nasch replied.

“So it's the same romance novel,” Vector said with a smirk.

Nasch closed the book and rolled his eyes before he kissed him quickly on the mouth.

God, Vector could lose himself completely if he wasn't careful. Then again, it didn't matter now.

“As soon as the guys get up we'll get back underway. We should head into port by midday,” Nasch said as he put his arm around Vector.

“Not a long trip compared to the ones I’ve made,” Vector replied. “It's two weeks from here to Austrania. Then another five days to get to Cusco.”

“And you spend all two weeks on a ship seasick?”

“Well, the trading vessels we use aren’t as steady as the ships you have. Or Jenira for that matter.”

“I take it you’ve never been to Jenira?”

“Never. The first time I travelled out of Austrania I was six. I came here with my father. I bet you don’t remember much of that visit.”

“I remember you annoyed me so much that I knew I had to learn how to walk again just so I could walk away from people that pissed me off.”

Nasch wasn’t sure how much of that statement was true. He did find something to hold on to and hope for but he wasn’t too sure if that thing was Vector. If their affairs ever came to light, he’d have to ask once the initial shock died down. However, Nasch would prevent that happening at all costs. Stolen kisses in secret were much more thrilling anyway.

They sat together like this for a while with Vector reading over his shoulder until they heard rustling come from below deck. Vector moved off of his shoulder and slightly away from him. Nasch kept on reading until Kellem came up from below deck and sat on a step below them.

“You hurt him, I'll cut your balls off,” Kellem said as he took a bite of the bread in his hand.

“Good morning to you too, Kellem,” Vector replied sarcastically.

Kellem laughed and eventually the rest of the crew joined them above deck. Nasch closed his book and offered his hand to Vector. Vector took it and found himself being pulled towards the cargo net leading up to the crow's nest.

“Nasch, you better not,” he said.

“Oh come on. It's not that windy. Don't tell me you're scared of heights?”

“I'm just scared of falling from them,” Vector said, slightly pouting.

Nasch smiled at him and continued dragging him towards the net. Once he grabbed into it he turned to Kellem. “Hey Captain,” he yelled. “Stick Malone somewhere else for today. The boy’s useful elsewhere.”

“You sure you've got it up there?” Kellem yelled back.

“You know who you're talking to?”

Kellem shrugged his shoulders and laughed. Nasch began ascending the net and hesitantly, Vector followed. Nasch seemed to make it to the top in triple the time that Vector had and by the time he made it to the top, he found Nasch kneeling down with his hand offered. “Come on, we'll be able to see port in a few hours,” Nasch said with a smile.

Vector took the hand he was offered and found himself being pulled up onto the crow's nest. He held a death grip on the railing once he failed his footing and Nasch couldn't help but laugh at him. “You're not going to fall, you know. You're safe up here,” he said.

“What did I get myself into?” Vector asked.

“The most beautiful view in the world,” Nasch said softly.

Nasch stood next to him and placed a hand around his waist, pulling him closer. For the first time, Vector allowed himself to move closer to Nasch. He had never seen the man so relaxed and donation home. It astounded him to see Nasch looking out at the sea as the chaos of getting underway unfolded below them. The sails were lowered and Kellem put the men back on course, steering the ship with expertise. Despite all of the noise around them, somehow up here and away from everything it seemed strangely quiet.

Nasch inhaled deeply as the wind blew through his hair. He stepped behind Vector and rested his chin on his shoulder. He nuzzled his face in Vector's neck and closed his eyes.

_'Vector, run.’_

Not now.

_'You don't need complications. You have a goal.’_

Not. Now.

Vector pushed the voice in his head away, tossing it aside like trash. He didn't need it now or ever. This moment was what he wanted. Ultimatums and games aside, he wanted this moment. He wanted to be held and loved by the man with him. He wanted nothing more.

Vector turned around in his arms and pressed his back up against the railing. It squeaked in protest and he jumped forward, falling more into Nasch's arms. Nasch pulled him close with a smile. He wrapped his hands around his waist and pulled them chest to chest.

“Kiss me,” he said.

Vector did. He kissed him softly with a genuine smile on his face. Maybe letting this spark ignite was a good choice for both of them. Vector broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together. Nasch glanced over his shoulder. He grew excited and turned Vector around by the shoulders.

He pointed somewhere in the distance. “That over there is the Coastal City,” Nasch said.

Vector strained his eyes to try and see but found it nearly impossible. “I don't see it,” he laughed.

“Wait right here.” Nasch walked around to the other side of the crow’s nest and yelled down to the men on deck. “Coastline, Captain! Portside!”

Kellem whistled in return and the men kicked into action. Nasch returned to Vector and wrapped his arms around him again.

“So we're… south of the Capital?” Vector asked.

“We are. This is still northeastern Pelia though. We have to go through the channel and dock at the Coastal City. From there we walk and catch a ferry to the Gap. We'll be there this afternoon hopefully,” he replied.

“Provided everything goes right,” Vector said with a smirk. He placed his hand flat on Nasch's chest and felt his heartbeat with his fingertips.

“With these guys? We’re fine. If they weren't the best sailors in the world, I wouldn't have hired them,” Nasch said. He leaned in and kissed him again. It was soft and full of admiration.

If Vector didn't keep himself in check, these kisses would be the death of him. He pulled away and held Nasch close.

Eventually, their time alone grew short and they had to come down from the Crow's nest. Nasch descended first, much quicker than Vector could ever manage. As soon as Nasch's feet hit the floorboards of the deck, he was ambushed by Iris who hugged him around the waist.

“Good morning, Nasch!” She said happily.

Nasch knelt down to meet her gaze and hugged her properly. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah!”

Vector joined Nasch with a huff. He couldn't decide if going up the net was worse than coming down.

Iris hugged him too. “Good morning, Vector!”

“Good morning, Iris,” he replied with a pat on her back. “Are you excited?”

“Very,” she replied.

Nasch scooped her up in his arms and carried her off to the bow. He pointed in the distance somewhere to show her the coastline that Vector couldn’t see. Maybe his sight wasn’t as good as he thought. He shrugged it off and headed below deck to make sure his things were packed fully, not that he even bothered to open his bag since he boarded. He just needed something to do to occupy his time.

He spent longer than anticipated below deck and when he came back up, Iris was in Nasch's arms watching the coastline grow closer. Vector stood back and watched it for himself. Travel was always exciting. He never had don't much though. Between his father's tyrant-like ways and the low amount of money in his nation, he couldn't but he wanted to.

He watched from the sidelines as the sailors scrambled, readying themselves to dock. Malone was clearly confused and out of practice but the others never lost patience when it took him slightly longer than the others to tie a knot or two. They never took over his task or rolled their eyes. Yes, there was the occasional joke made but that's all they were, just jokes which Malone laughed off with ease.

They were like brothers from a mismatched family, pieces of a patchwork quilt that seemed so different but fit together perfectly. It was easy to see how Nasch used to fit in with each one of them too. Vector had seen bits and pieces of it from his few months in the palace. Nasch was laid back but strict on a few things. He lacked a routine with most things but the few he had, he kept with ease. He woke early and went to bed late. This, Vector knew, was from his sailing days. Keeping active was also a struggle due to Nasch's massive workload around the palace but Vector knew whenever Nasch found time, he found himself in the sparring room.

Vector wondered for a moment if Nasch would let him help out with things, alleviate the load a little and reduce the stress. It would benefit both sides in the long run. Nasch would have more time to spend with Iris and Vector could take what he learned back to Austrania when he returned. If he ever returned.

Soon enough the sails were tied up tight and the Imperial drifted towards the docks of the Coastal City. They wouldn't be there long. Nasch was adamant about that.

They docked and gathered their things quickly. The walk to the ferry was quick and before Vector even thought to say anything about the beauty of the bustling city, they were on their way to the small Island that Nasch and Merag called their hometown.

As Nasch stated, they were walking through the main street in the Gap around Mid-afternoon. Iris held Nasch’s hand tightly and looked up at him with a smile every so often. Her gait had improved greatly and she had quite a bit of strength in her legs but Vector noticed her falter every so often. In just three weeks, Iris was able to run up and down the halls of the palace and play as a child should. However, she wasn’t completely healed and still had a long road to go before she could do most things that five-year-olds tended to do.

It was sweet to watch her open up and grow into her new life without leaving the old one behind completely. She still held onto little routines and nuances that seemed odd but no one questioned them. Vector was talking to Nasch about one of the particularly odd ones where Iris would tie her shoes three times before she would consider them tied.

“Let her be a kid for as long as she can,” Nasch told him. “I don’t want her to grow up as fast as I did.”

Vector admired him for that. Nasch vowed to raise her right and although it was apparent he didn’t know much about child rearing, he took his cues from her. When asked if he would hire a nanny for her, he instantly denied the suggestion. She'd have to learn how to take the throne some day and he knew from the start that there was no better teacher than the Emperor himself. Iris was easy though. She could tell him what she wanted. Vector humored the thought of Nasch with a younger child, one that would be tricker. Not an infant, per se, but a toddler that would follow him around constantly and babble to him. He wondered how Nasch would react and if some sort of parental instinct would kick in just as it had with Iris.

“Nasch, are we almost there? My back hurts,” Iris whined.

“Almost,” he chuckled. He picked her up and held her with one arm with ease. He used his other hand to point to a small cottage. “That one right ahead, over the bridge, do you see it?”l

Iris gasped. “Is that where you grew up? It's so cute,” she yelled excitedly.

Nasch skipped slightly and made Iris bounce and giggle in his arms. She held tighter to his neck and smiled. “It is. Although, it was a lot smaller when I lived there,” Nasch replied.

“They added rooms onto the sides of the house three years ago I think,” Merag added. She jogged slightly to catch up to her brother and her niece.

“Depends on which room we're talking about. Mom and dad's room was first, then they built one for Nan,” Nasch replied.

“Nan?” Iris said curiously.

“Our grandmother. I have a feeling she'll spoil you rotten,” Nasch replied playfully through gritted teeth. He skipped again and Iris laughed some more as she bounced up and down in his arms.

Nasch put Iris down just before the small wooden bridge and they walked ahead of the group, hand in hand. Iris talked on about the plants that had just begun to fully bloom. She pointed to the cows and sheep with a smile and Nasch promised her they would see the animals later on. He had an obstacle to tackle first, after all. He had completely forgotten to write and tell his parents about Iris's sudden adoption.

As they walked up the dirt road leading to the house, Nasch's mother caught sight of the group and came running out of the front door with a smile and open arms. However, as soon as she caught sight of Iris, she stopped short, a few feet in front of Nasch and Iris with confusion written on her face.

“It's good to see you again, Nasch, but who's this?” She said with a smile. She leaned down to meet Iris's eyes properly.

“I'm Iris,” the girl said. “Nasch adopted me a few weeks ago.”

Nasch's mother stayed silent for a few moments as she processed the information. Those few seconds seemed like an eternity for Nasch as he held his breath and waited for his mother's reply. He placed the suitcase down and expected the worst.

Suddenly, the woman scooped Iris up into her arms and spun her around happily. Nasch winced slightly at the way she held Iris and knew it would aggravate her back. “Welcome to the family, Iris,” she exclaimed. “Oh God, I can't believe I'm a grandma!”

“I've never had a grandma before,” Iris told her once she was placed back on her feet.

“Be careful with her back, mom,” Nasch warned.

“Did you get hurt?” The woman asked Iris with concern in her voice. “Are you alright?”

To this, Iris turned around and pulled her hair out of the way slightly to show her scar. “I did but I'm getting better. Nasch is helping me get stronger. He even taught me how to dance!”

It was then that Nasch's mother fully understood.

Nasch walked towards his mother with open arms and a smile. He embraced her tightly with a laugh. “She lived mom,” he said. “She lived.”

The two pulled back with tears in their eyes. Nasch laughed as he wiped his eyes with his ring fingers. “I don't know what brought us together but something did,” Madelia said. “I'm so happy to have you here, Iris.”

“I'm happy to be here,” Iris replied.

“Madelia!”

She snickered. “Coming mom! Oh Iris, you have to come inside. My mom just made tea. You have to meet everyone!”

Relief washed over Nasch as he watched his mother reach for Iris's hand and walk with her to the house. He couldn't hide the smile that spread across his cheeks. He walked with confidence behind his mother and Iris to the front door of the house.

“Did you change the door too?” Nasch asked.

“We did,” his mother replied. “I think dark oak looks a lot better than what we had before. We also added another room with a loft towards the back a month or two ago so there's plenty of room for everyone.”

Iris reached for the handle on the door and pulled it open with a little help. She walked into the room and paused, carefully taking in her surroundings just as she did when she first entered the palace. It was a safety thing, Nasch supposed.

Iris looked at Nasch slightly embarrassed. “Is it okay if I-”

“Absolutely,” Nasch replied. “I want you to know you're safe here.”

Iris walked around the house, checking every room carefully. She tested and made sure she could open every window and made a mental note of the ones that she couldn't.

“It's a routine she has. Whenever she goes to a new place she checks for any exits or something,” Nasch explained. “I never asked why. Don't feel the need to.”

“I bet it took forever when she first got to the palace,” Madelia added.

“We broke it up into different nights for different parts of the palace. It was just easier on her that way.”

Madelia smiled at her son and hugged him again tightly. “Never expected you to adopt,” she whispered.

“Well, neither did I,” he laughed.

When Nasch turned around Nan cleared her throat. “You gonna tell me how you got the kid?” She asked with a hand on her hip and a smile on her face.

Nasch walked over to her and kissed her cheek. “That's a story for later, Nan. When everyone's here so I don't have to tell it a million times,” he replied.

Nan nodded and sat back down in her chair by the hearth. Supper was cooking over the fire and the smell of what she was cooking wafted through the air. Nan smiled at Vector and motioned for him to come over. He hugged her with one arm and kissed her cheek.

“Good to see you again,” he said. “How have you been?”

“Alright,” nan replied. “The same routine. Nothing eventful happens when you’re old.”

Vector laughed and sat down on a chair next to her. The two began chatting about this and that as Nasch picked Iris up into his arms and sat her down at the table. She was slightly overwhelmed but content with the people around her. Her shoulders were relaxed and heer hands were folded peacefully in her lap. Nasch knew she felt safe which was a good thing. He decided to leave her be for a while as he helped his mother carry and distribute spare blankets about the house where people would be sleeping. Three in the loft and two in the bedroom under it. They would argue over who took which spot later on.

“Nasch?” The little girl asked.

“Yes?”

“When can I go see the cows?”

Nasch laughed along with his mother who has just walked over. “Soon, Iris. You have to meet my dad first.”

“He should be home soon,” Madelia added. “Lambing season and all that.”

Nasch snickered. When he lived here it was the worst time of the year. It was the last few weeks before he started sailing for the warmer months and it was spent pulling lambs out of ewes. It was disgusting and Nasch was grateful he didn’t have to look forward to inheriting his father’s farm after the man died. Although, it was a bit late in the season to be lambing still.

“Nasch? Does this house have a basement?” Iris asked him.

“No, it doesn’t,” he replied.

Nasch turned and glanced at Iris who shuffled restlessly in her seat. Unfamiliar environments had the potential to make her panic but he tried everything he could to make her feel safe. It was the same way with cellars and basements of small houses. He never asked why but assumed it had to do with the circumstances surrounding her injury. She would tell him when she was ready but for now, he vowed to help her out in any way that he could.

Nasch leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not right now,” she replied. “Maybe later.”

“If you think of something, let me know.” He smiled warmly at her to let her know that she wasn’t crazy and that it was okay to feel this way.

Nasch decided to leave her alone to adjust to the unfamiliar environment and sat on the floor by nan’s feet. He half listened to the conversation her and Vector were having and closed his eyes. Even though the weather had broken and it was gradually getting warmer day by day, there was still a chill in the air. Nasch couldn’t decide which was worse, the chill or the humidity to come.

Iris eventually decided to join Nasch and leaned on him. She was tired, that much was apparent. She yawned and Nasch nudged her slightly. “You still have a little bit to go before bed. Try to stay awake.”

“Can we go see the cows then?” She asked.

“Its late, sweetheart. They're all probably asleep. We'll see them tomorrow,” Nasch replied.

“But it isn't even that late! The sun just set,” Iris whined. There weren't many times that Iris acted her age. However, all bets of having to act like royalty were off when she was tired.

“Tomorrow, Iris,” Nasch replied. “Stop whining. We've talked about this.”

“But Nasch.”

She was testing his patience. He hated it when she whined. “I was going to let you stay up late tonight. I guess I won't be able to if you keep whining at me.”

Iris crossed her arms across her chest and moved off of him. She was pouting at him and debating on just how much antagonizing she could get away with before he sent her off to bed.

She mumbled something about “just wanting to see the cows” and then sat as still and as silent as she could.

“Are you holding your breath?” Vector asked from his seat.

Iris didn't move.

“Iris?” Vector called again.

“Let her go. Either she'll give in or pass out. I used to pull the same thing when I didn't get my way,” Nasch said.

Somewhere across the cottage, Madelia laughed.

Nasch sat and shot an occasional glance at Iris whose face had begun to turn red. Her puffed cheeks and angry expression melted Nasch's heart but he had to keep his composure. He couldn't let her get her way. Not this time.

She continued holding her breath for what seemed like ages. Nasch was surprised that she got this far this time and started to worry slightly about her holding her breath for this long. He watched her out of the corner of his eye carefully and watched as she began to sway slightly. As soon as he went limp, he moved to catch her.

“This is why you don't fight with me,” Nasch mumbled. He took note that she started breathing regularly again and it was only a matter of moments before she woke up.

He scooped her up and took her into the other room where he placed her on the bed and pulled a blanket over her. He exited the room but left the door open so he could watch for when she started to stir. It wouldn't be long at all but if things went his way, Iris would just change into her chemise and go right to bed. He’d just have to keep an eye on the doorway into the room for when she stirred. She wouldn’t be out for long

However, Iris was overly tired and it was a gamble to see whether or not she’d still put up a fight.

“You sure you're not her real father?” Nan asked.

“Not a chance,” Nasch chuckled. “Thank God.”

“Your father still doesn't know, does he?” Madelia asked.

“No and I'd like to keep it that way for as long as humanly possible,” Nasch replied. This was what he wanted, acceptance by the people he loved. It was all he really needed. His friends never treated him any differently and neither did his mother or his sister. It gave him a glimmer of confidence that somehow and in some way his father would be the same. However, he wouldn’t say a word about it yet. His father needed to be taught before he was told.

Nasch’s father, Basil,  was a kind man. He was able to appeal to everyone and learn on the fly. He also had a talent that Nasch always described as being “able to sell dirt to earthworms”. That man could convince someone of anything if he tried to. This is why Nasch wasn’t surprised at all when Basil suddenly became the forefront of the Revolt. It made sense that he’d find a way to become someone important.

It was slightly odd though, that Nasch knew next to nothing about his father’s upbringing. The man simply didn’t talk about it at all and Nasch never asked. However, he was sure Merag knew some things about him. She spent much more time with him while they were growing up.

“Mom,” Nasch said. “Do you think dad will be back at a reasonable time?”

“At this rate, probably not. This morning he said something about a lot of orphaned lambs.”

Nasch glanced through the doorway and into the bedroom where he placed Iris and found that she had changed into her chemise and sat up in bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room, carefully looking at her new surroundings. Nasch stood and kissed his mother goodnight before he went in to Iris. He closed the door behind him and walked to the side of the bed were she reached for him.

“Lock the door,” she asked softly.

He did.

“Can you sleep in here tonight?”

“That was the plan,” Nasch replied. He kicked off his shoes and socks and climbed into bed next to her. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m sorry for being rude, Nasch,” Iris whispered. “I feel really bad.”

“While I don’t appreciate it, I understand. You’ve had a long day, Iris. You’re tired,” Nasch replied as he pulled the covers over both of them. “Travel can be hard.”

“I haven’t done much of it. Just moving around after daddy died.” Iris had closed her eyes. She’d be asleep soon. “My head hurts.”

Nasch smiled and rolled his eyes. “Of course it does. You held your breath for quite some time. Sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Iris didn’t say anything else. Nasch felt the bed shift slightly as she relaxed completely and drifted off to sleep. Nasch knew he wouldn’t have any trouble sleeping tonight. He was home with people who loved him. He had his little girl by his side. In reality, that was all he needed.

 


	17. Beltaine

> **Spring: Year 4**
> 
>  

Nasch was roused from his particularly deep sleep by giggling coming from the next room over. He looked to his side to find Iris’s side of the bed was neatly made. He stood and walked to the doorway to find Iris sitting in his father’s lap. He was telling her some sort of story. Nasch knew how much she loved stories. He walked into the room with a smile on his face.

Thank every God above that he welcomed her with open arms.

“Nasch! You didn’t tell me today was your birthday!” Iris yelled.

She was immediately hushed by Nasch’s father. “People are still sleeping, Iris.”

She apologized sheepishly and hopped off of his lap. She hugged Nasch around the waist as per her morning ritual and quickly ran back to Basil’s lap. The man smiled brighter and continued his story.

Nasch had something slightly more important to do at this moment and was thoroughly excited that Iris was occupied for the time being. He went into the room he just left and grabbed the largest down pillow he could find. When he walked back into the main room of the house, pillow in hand.

“Merag in the loft?”

His dad smiled and nodded. “Her, Durbe, and Vector. Do you care about waking the rest of them up too?”

“As long as I’m the first to get Merag,” Nasch replied with a smirk. He thought for a moment before he motioned for Iris to come with him. She followed him up the ladder and into the loft. There were two beds up here and Nasch chuckled as he realized Vector drew the short straw. He was curled up on the floor in the far corner on top of a pile of extra blankets. Despite sleeping on the wooden floor, he looked particularly comfortable.

Nasch took a spare pillow Durbe had thrown onto the ground and handed it to Iris. “It’s tradition,” he said with a wink.

He then walked over to his twin sister to deliver the traditional birthday awakening. He held the pillow up high and hit her in the face with it as hard as he could manage. She sat up quickly in shock and was met with another pillow to the face from Nasch, and one to the side from Iris.

“Happy birthday, sis,” Nasch laughed. “I win.”

“Dammit, Nasch,” she said with a yawn once the blows with the pillows had ceased. “You even got Iris in on it.”

“Yep!” The girl replied with a smile. She handed the pillow back to Nasch and started heading down the ladder to the main room. “I’m gonna go see the sheep now. Your dad is taking me.”

“Be careful with your back,” Nasch warned her. “It’s steep down there.”

By the time Nasch finished his statement, Iris had already pulled Basil by the hand and halfway out of the door. He heard it shut behind them and turned back towards Merag who was still half dazed.

She pulled her tangled hair out of her face and rubbed her eyes. “Excited for today?”

“Definitely. I’m more excited for Iris,” Nasch replied.

Iris had definitely never been to a Beltaine celebration and never one in north-western Pelia. It was always a big celebration with music and dancing accompanied by copious amounts of alcohol in Nasch's case. This year would be much different than all of the others for Nasch. For once he might actually remember it.

The people of Nasch's hometown were the poorest of the poor. They had nothing to loose therefore, their parties and celebrations were the absolute best to attend. There were no reputations at stake, no fancy clothes to ruin, and most certainly no formalities. It was no secret to the people he grew up with that Nasch became the Emperor. However, they still treated him the same which was more than he could have ever asked for. Here he was just Nasch, the young man who used to live and play here when he was a boy.

It was a toss up to see whether or not Iris would get overwhelmed by all of the people after sunset. That was when the real festival began. Despite this, she was set on going to the smaller celebration during the day. Nasch promised her that if she didn't feel right they could leave but she was too excited to refuse. She could finally dance as Nasch promised her when they first met. He taught her some of the traditional dances in what little free time they both had. It was their time together and every moment was saved, locked deep within Nasch's memory so he would never forget it.

Nasch hit Merag one final time with the pillow before he threw it at her and head downstairs. He swapped his shirt out for one of his favorite blouses and his grey trousers for brown ones. He slipped on his worn boots with every intention of going to join Iris and his father but when he turned around Vector stood in the doorway. His hair was tousled and his shirt collar fell slightly off of his shoulder. Of course he untied and loosened the collar. He was far too distracting when he did that and he knew it.

“Happy birthday,” Vector said with a smile.

Nasch opened his arms and walked towards him with a grin. “21 today. Makes me seem older than you than I actually am.”

He wrapped his arms tightly around Vector and glanced around the main room of the cottage to find no one was there. He took this opportunity to steal a kiss from his companion.

“You're only two years older than I am. It's not that much considering the age difference between some of the arranged marriages I've seen,” Vector laughed and Nasch's heart melted.

It had been months and this infatuation hadn't calmed down at all. Rather, it got worse. Every moment spent with Vector seemed to speed up. Nasch Looked at him and his world seemed a little brighter every single time. He wondered how long it would be before his world grew too bright because of this.

“Some of those are just disgusting. I hate arranged marriages but its what’ll happen to me if I don’t find a way out of it soon.”

“Now’s not the time to think about that, Nasch. You’re far away from the palace for a few days. Perfect time to completely forget you’re actually important,” Vector chuckled.

They heard the floorboards above them creak and assumed either Durbe or Merag had finally gotten out of bed. Nasch pulled back but stayed close. “I’m guessing you didn’t really come down here to wish me a happy birthday.”

“Well, yes and no. I’m stealing your bed for a while. The floor fucking killed my neck.”

Nasch debated on whether or not he could get away with picking Vector up and dropping him onto the bed but decided against it. These walls were paper thin and the bed frame creaked something fierce. For now though, Nasch stole another kiss and let him by. He watched adoringly as Vector flopped down on the bed and curled up under the blankets. Nasch couldn’t help but let his eyes linger slightly longer than they should have before he turned around and walked out of the house.

There was a dirt path lined with the occasional stone that led through the center of the property. This farm had been in the family for generations and brought in barely enough money to upkeep the animals and feed the family. However, now that Nasch was on the throne, his family never had to worry about feeding the animals or themselves. All they had to do was ask. It was only fair, after all. They raised him and put him on the throne somehow.

He walked along the path to the farthest area. There was an enclosed shack where the sheep were kept in bad weather. He walked in and saw Iris with a lamb in her arms. She had tied a red ribbon with a bell around its neck. It was how they kept track of the new lambs. She smiled when she saw Nasch and nuzzled her face into the lamb’s back.

Nasch knelt down to her level and pet the lamb in her arms. “Did you name him?” He asked.

“Her,” Iris corrected.

“Her,” Nasch chuckled.

“Lilly. She’s really cute.”

“That’s a perfect name,” Nasch said with a smile. “Fits her well.”

“She’s an orphan like me. But her mommy is still alive. Your dad said sometimes things don’t work out and the lambs get rejected.” Iris put Lilly down and the little lamb wobbled for a few moments before it walked off somewhere else.

“They do. It's sad but they do have someone to take care of them and help them grow strong.”

“Like me!”

“Like you,” Nasch repeated. “And you’ve grown a lot stronger in just a few weeks. Imagine what you’ll be able to do in a few more.”

Iris hugged him tightly and took his hand as she dragged him around the structure. She had named each and every one of the new lambs after different flowers and types of trees. This was something she had shown an interest in during her studies. She had her tutor throw different botany lessons in with the “boring stuff”. She caught on to those quickly and always remembered them. She had even corrected Nasch quite a few times.

“This one’s Aspen,” Iris told him. “He’s sick and we’re not sure if he’s gonna make it. Your dad said he was too small and that his hind legs don’t work right.”

“Who knows, Iris. Maybe he’ll live,” Nasch said.

_‘After all, you and I did.’_

Nasch watched as Iris crouched beside the lamb and pat his head softly. He lifted it and bleated. It was quiet and defeated. Nasch knew he was close to death but he had seen animals turn themselves around in a matter of hours.

“At least he wasn’t orphaned,” Iris said. “His mommy hasn’t left him for a second.”

Nasch knelt beside her and watched as she spoke softly to the little lamb. Even if he did die, he had Iris to comfort him for a little while.

Nasch turned his head when he heard footsteps walking towards them. His father held another lamb in his arms and placed it beside Iris.

Iris looked at the lamb, still wobbly on its legs. She cupped its face and inspected it carefully as she tried to come up with the perfect name. In the meantime, Basil turned and grabbed another ribbon from the wall, this time blue, and fastened a bell to it. He handed it to Iris and she tied it around the Lamb’s neck.

“Boy or girl?” She asked.

“Girl,” Basil replied.

“Laurel.”

Nasch smiled as he watched Iris pet the lamb and whisper to her. He looked up at his father with a smile. “She’s good at that,” Nasch said. “A lot better than I was.”

“And your sister,” Basil added. “Merag was awful at naming things.”

“She still is.” Nasch stood and smiled at Iris who was still petting the lamb.

Iris was a miracle and a blessing on his life. She changed him in the best ways and made him stop and observe more. That’s most of what this parenting thing was, really. Observing and stepping in where needed. It would most definitely be different from another child but Nasch wasn’t planning on adopting again any time soon, nor was he getting a surrogate. He’d figure it out later on but for now, as Vector said, he was far away from the palace and any responsibilities that were tied to it. He had a party to attend today and now wasn’t the time to stress about his reputation.

“Ready, Iris? Things should be starting around town about now if you want to go walk around.”

Iris hopped up and took his hand. They walked out of the structure after she waved good-bye to Nasch's father and down the dirt path back towards the cottage. Iris practically skipped along next to him, excited to see what the day would bring. Instead of taking Iris back inside, he turned right and crossed the bridge leading to the main road in the town.

As soon as they were in the main square Iris let go of his hand. She walked around to the different market stalls to stare at the food and goods in wonder. She stopped and watched the musicians as they played a song that she knew, one that Nasch taught her. She looked back at Nasch with excitement and ran back to him as she sang the refrain. Nasch couldn’t help himself from joining her.

“Téir abhaile riú, téir abhaile riú

Téir abhaile riú Mhearai

Téir abhail gus fan sa bhaile

Mar tá do mhargadh déanta.”

Nasch picked her up and spun her around. She laughed in his arms and held onto him tightly. He put her back on her feet and grabbed her hand as he let her drag him around the main street of the tiny town. Everyone was dressed in their best clothes. No tears, no stains and most certainly no black.

It was strictly against tradition for anyone to wear black during such a joyous time. There were exceptions to this rule though. Mourning dress had to be worn by those affected. There was also something about illegitimate marriage where all grey had to be worn until the union was officially recognized by both families. This, Nasch supposed, was an attempt to prevent people from eloping although it still happened. For a quick moment Nasch debated on if he could stand the ‘public humiliation’ of an illegitimate marriage to avoid the threat of an arranged one.

“McAine!” Someone called.

Both Nasch and Iris turned to look in the direction of the voice. Iris thought nothing of it and instead assumed it was someone from Nasch’s past life that hadn’t seen him in forever. She turned her head to look at the flowers one of the stalls were selling. Nasch let go of her hand so he could greet the woman walking towards him.

“Quinn! Good God, it's been years! How have you been?” Nasch extended his arms and pulled her into a tight hug.

“God damn, Nasch. I made it out,” She replied as she pulled back.

“Fuck, how?” He asked her with an excited smile on his face. He loved hearing the tales of his friends who managed to escape the clutches of poverty. They gave him hope that not everyone was stuck in this horrid lifestyle.

“My plays took off running. The one show in the Coastal City when I was 17 was what hooked me in. The one of Orpheus and Eurydice that you were in forever ago.”

At the mention of that story, Iris turned her head and stood next to Nasch. She took his hand subconsciously and held it loosely. “I like that story,” she said softly.

“It’s one of Nasch’s favorites,” Quinn replied. He knelt down in front of Iris and offered her hand for the little girl to shake. “I’m Quinn, an old pal of Nasch's. Who are you?”

“Iris,” she replied. “Nasch’s adopted daughter.”

Quinn looked slightly shocked at her answer but smiled nonetheless. She stood up and laughed. “Never thought you were the type to actually go about having children. Or adopting for that matter.”

“I was an accident,” Iris added with a smirk.

Nasch pulled her in and placed a hand over her mouth lightly as a joke. His face turned bright red with embarrassment. “That’s not something you should go around proclaiming, Iris,” he laughed nervously. “And who told you that you were an accident? I willingly took you in.”

She giggled and moved his hand down. “Yeah but you weren’t planning on it.”

“That doesn’t make you an accident,” Nasch replied.

Iris pulled away from him easily and took a few steps back. “I think it does,” she smirked mischievously.

“I don’t like that look,” Nasch said.

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” Iris replied. She turned her head away and stuck her hands on her hips.

Nasch shut his jaw and ran for her. He picked her up and held her tightly on his hip. Thankfully she was still small so he could still pick her up.

“How long have you had her, Nasch?” Quinn asked him.

“Almost a month. I think she’s adjusted well. Don’t you, Iris?” Nasch replied.

“Yeah. Its weird. The palace is so big,” Iris added. “I’m gonna go look at the flowers again.”

Nasch put her back down on her feet and helped her smooth out her dress. “Stay where I can see you,” he told her.

“That little girl adores you,” Quin said with a smile. “Anyway, you wanna work the ropes tonight? I’ve already got Kellem and Hogan in on it. I just need two more.”

“Yeah, sure,” Nasch replied. “Try Malone by the way. I dunno if Casey will but he’s worth a shot too.”

“I knew you’d help me find people. Thanks a bunch. We’ll talk later.”

With a smile and a wave, Quinn walked back the direction she came from. Nasch turned back to where Iris was before and she happily had begun talking to the man that ran the flower stand. Nasch could have sworn he’d seen him before but couldn’t place him. He walked over to ensure that Iris wasn’t annoying or overwhelming him as she tended to do to new people.

He stood behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder to let her know that he was there.

“Sorry,” Nasch apologized. “She tends to talk people’s ear off.”

“Oh that’s alright, Nasch. She’s a smart one, you know. Knows way more about these things than I did when I was her age. How old were you again?”

“Five,” Iris replied with a smile. “I turn six next month.”

“Keep up with this stuff, Iris. You never know when it’ll come in handy.” The man turned around and grabbed a purple flower from a vase. He placed it in Iris’s hands with a smile.

Her eyes lit up and she ran to hug the man around the waist. “Thank you! Thank you so much! I’ve never seen these in person before!”

When Nasch attempted to offer him payment, the man refused. He put a hand up politely. “She’s got some knowledge in her, that one. Try and keep up with her if ya can.”

Nasch nodded and shook his hand. Despite the man’s protests, Nasch left two coins on the table where the man sat. “One for the flower and the other for making my daughter’s day,” he said.

“What kind of flower is that?” Nasch asked.

“It’s me! Well, not me. It's an iris flower. Isn’t it beautiful, Nasch?”

“It is,” he replied. “Just like you.”

Iris smiled and took his hand. She led him back to the cottage to collect the others because “this would be so much more fun with others”. Iris bounded into the main room of the cottage and began talking at a rapid pace to everyone in the room.

Nasch instead walked to the room he stayed in and sat on the edge of the bed. Vector was sound asleep, sprawled out on his back. Nasch gave him a shake but he didn’t budge.

“Vector.”

Another, harder shake. This was odd. Normally Vector woke right up at any movement. Nasch thought he was faking but Vector had an awful poker face and would smile if he were trying to hide something.

“Vector, it’s almost afternoon.”

Still nothing.

It was here that Nasch had an idea. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat on it, facing Vector. He placed his legs on Vector’s midsection and pushed quickly and hard. Vector was sent falling over the edge of the bed and landed on the floor with a loud thud. Nasch crossed his legs and smirked as he watched Vector sit up quickly and look around the room nervously.

He locked eyes with Nasch and smiled.

“Time to get up. Iris wants to drag everyone out and I need someone to watch her while I do something else,” Nasch said.

“So you’re sticking her with me."

“Absolutely. She adores you, thinks you’re interesting and all that. Probably because you're foreign or something.”

Vector stood and cracked his back. “Sounds like someone else I know,” he whispered.

Nasch stood and began to walk out of the room but Vector threw something at him. It was Nasch’s shirt from earlier that he most likely forgot to put back in his bag. Nasch threw it right back.

“I wasn’t done talking to you,” Vector teased him.

“Well,” Nasch replied sarcastically. “What is it that you would like to say, my Prince?”

He bowed sarcastically and Vector threw the shirt at him again. “I wanted to know what you’re doing today that you can’t take Iris.”

“Working the ropes for a play,” Nasch replied. “A good friend of mine made it out writing them.”

“Never thought you liked acting,” Vector replied.

“I’m not. I’m simply pulling ropes to move sets and curtains. I used to do it for her in the off season. The ropes for a stage are similar to the ones on a sailboat so she always got Kellem and I to do it.”

“What’s her name?”

“Quinn, why?”

“Just wondering,” Vector said. He turned his head slightly to the side and avoided eye contact with Nasch.

Nasch laughed at his expression. “Are you jealous?”

Vector hesitated. “No.”

“I didn’t like that pause,” Nasch laughed. He took a few steps closer the the bed so he could lower his voice and be sure no one else would hear what he was about to say. “Listen. After the play tonight, Iris is going to pass out. She’s going to be exhausted. Which means you and I could head out and spend some time together.”

‘Sounds good to me,” Vector whispered. He glanced quickly behind Nasch and pulled him into a kiss by the collar. He then playfully pushed the Emperor off of him. “You had better get going.”

Nasch flattened his blouse where Vector pulled and smiled before he walked into the main room. Iris was still talking a mile a minute and attempting to drag everyone out of the house before they were ready.

Nasch kissed his mother goodbye and waved to his father. Just as he was about to head out of the door, he heard Vector call Iris’s name. He turned around to see her run into his arms. He picked her up and held her on his him as he whispered something in her ear. She giggled and waved goodbye to Nasch.

He walked back into town and didn’t think much of the goings on around him. It had been years since he had the opportunity to work the ropes on one of Quinn’s plays. He wasn’t even sure if he still could for that matter. He wasn’t as physically fit or as strong as he was then. He turned left off of the main road and came up to a makeshift stage that had just completed connstuction. He stood in front of it for a few moments and wondered if Quinn actually needed all the help with the ropes she said she did or if she anticipated someone, like Malone, being too drunk to. It was a strong possibility.

Nasch walked towards the stage and walked into one of the biggest fits he had ever seen Quin throw.

“What do you mean he’s gone? He’s Orpheus, I need an Orpheus!” She screamed.

She saw Nasch approaching out of the corner of her eye and her mood snapped to its polar opposite. She hopped off of the front of the stage and walked towards Nasch with a bright smile and extended arms.

_‘Oh no.’_

“Nasch,” she began in a frighteningly warm tone. “You’re the Emperor. You’re good at public speaking, right?”

_‘Oh fuck no.’_

“No,” came his simple reply. He hated every speech and public appearance he gave. There were too many people and way too many eyes on him. He always felt as if he were being strangled.

“Well, I don’t know how much of that you caught,” she chuckled.

“Enough to know your Orpheus bailed. No, I’m not doing it. I don’t know any of the lines anymore.”

“They’re ripped right from the legend, Nasch.”

“Nice try but the song Orpheus sings for Hades isn’t in the legend or anyone I can think of. I can’t make shit up on the fly like that.”

“I’ve saw you charm your way into Philip’s pants years ago. You were what, fourteen? That was something to be proud of. And you were Orpheus for me before. Nothing has changed!”

“Getting into someone’s pants and making up one of the most important parts of your play are two totally different things and my first boyfriend has nothing to do with this.”

“He’s Hades.”

Nasch scoffed and threw his hands in the air dramatically. “Even worse, Quinn!”

“Please?” Quinn whined.

“I fucking hate it when my daughter whines like that. I’ll walk away. Don’t test me.” Nasch crossed his arms and changed his stance to try and make himself seem taller. He couldn’t tell if he was just short or if Quinn was just tall. God damn, she was like a mountain.

“Please? Pretty, pretty please?”

“No.”

“Nasch…”

“No, Quinn.”

“Aye, Nasch! You’d be great at it,” Kellem yelled from somewhere in the distance.

“Stay out of this shit! I said no! You got fucking Kellem in on this.”

“Who says I can’t use your friends against you?”

“What?”

With that, Nasch found his most trusted friends had taken a hold of his arms. Kellem locked his arm around his neck and Nasch grabbed at it frantically to try and pull it off of him.

Quinn laughed and bowed in front of him. “End scene,” she proclaimed with a laugh.

“Quinn. I said no.” Nasch struggled to get out if the hold his friends had him in but was largely unsuccessful. However, he was close to giving in. It would be interesting to be onstage instead of behind the scenes. It's not like this had anything to do with royalty anyway. “Guys, c'mon,” Nasch said, defeated.

“You know you want to, Nasch. You know you'd be the perfect Orpheus for my play.”

Fuck it. He'd do it but he'd make her wait in silence with bated breath for his reply.

Nasch sighed after a while and rolled his eyes. “Gimme the script. I'll try and get as many of the lines right as possible.”

Quinn squealed and ran over to her bag which sat next to the stage. She produced a stack of papers held together with twine in some sort of rushed binding. “Just get the just of them. You've never failed me before, Nasch and I know you won't now.”

His friends released him and pat his back slightly too hard. He took the script and walked off somewhere to study hid lines in silence. If there's one thing he was halfway decent at, it was memorizing things. However, even he was unsure if he could have all of this memorized by sunset. He found himself in a clearing in the woods bordering his hometown. It was a spot that he knew very well. It was far away from the noise from the town and from people in general. Here it was nice to get away from things. Occasionally, he used to bring his companion of choice here in the middle of the night. It was far enough away that they could be as loud as they wanted and no one would know what was going on.

Time seemingly flew by and despite not seeing the script for this play for years, he remembered most of the lines after simply brushing up on them.

The sky turned beautiful shades of pink and orange and Nasch decided to head back to the are where he knew Quinn and everyone else were waiting. He figured he should most likely tell Iris that he got sucked into actually being in the play. She would be excited for him. She would probably bounce up and down and ramble on about how her dad was Orpheus.

He smiled at the thought.

Nasch walked back into the clearing with the stage. He stood off to the side and scanned the crowd in the dimming light. He caught a glimpse of everyone standing somewhere in the middle. There was no way he’d be able to get to them in time. He instead walked behind the stage where Quinn threw a change of clothes at him. Brown trousers, brown leather belt, with a ruffled blouse made to look worn down. He scoffed and walked back off somewhere to change, and returned feeling far too puffy for his liking.

“You look great Nasch,” Quinn told him.

Nasch took his place backstage and sat on one of the steps. He prayed that he’d remember the lines, that some divine force would bring them back from his distant memory. Before he knew it, Quinn yelled for people to take their places. He stood and placed his hand on the railing lightly. Kellem and Hogan pulled the curtains open and Nasch couldn’t possibly believe he agreed to this. If he didn’t have a dignity, he would have backed out right here and now.

However, Nasch felt his feet carry him like they did a long time ago. The beginning of the play was a blur. He knew there was no stumbling over lines. He assumed he got most of them somewhat correct as no one else stumbled and looked at him oddly.

His trouble came when Orpheus found himself in front of Hades.

“Sing for me, boy.”

Nasch froze. He hesitated and people would notice if he waited much longer. He didn't remember the words to the song. He barely even remembered the melody.

“What are you waiting for?”

He inhaled deep and long. He turned towards the faces in the audience. All of their eyes were on him. He felt panic rise in him in just the same way it did when he gave speeches as the Emperor. He could do this. He always came out on top.

“Boy, lets go.”

“Hades,” Nasch began. “All I ask for is my lover’s safe return to me.”

“Then sing.”

Nasch did. He sang to the tune of a Melody he heard once but couldn't place, one that was nostalgic in the weirdest way.

_“King of the damned_

_Lord of the River Styx_

_Isn't it true that you were once a man,_

_Nothing more than a man in love?_

 

_I don't have much to give_

_I know you were like me once_

_A man in love_

 

_You met her in the garden,_

_Enticed by the flowers that blossomed in her palms_

_Captivated, enticed by her beauty_

_You took her for your own_

 

_Your heart is hardened_

_Your armor, unbreaking_

_But even the hardest of hearts unharden_

_For something as eternal as love._

 

_It kills and strangles you_

_It holds you by the neck and keeps you there_

_It's hell and heaven all at once_

_After all, you would know_

 

_Love is what I have._

_The strongest and most pure_

_Nothing else matters to me_

_She is all I need_

 

_Return to me, my love and her soul_

_Bring her back to me_

_For she's all I have left.”_

Nasch finished and the crowd was silent. He hardly realized he had tears falling from his eyes. He cleared his throat and stepped back, away from the man dressed as Hades.

He gripped Persephone's hand tightly. “Take her,” he growled. “Take her but don't look behind you at the horrors you're leaving.”

Nasch felt like he ran offstage after that. He tripped over the last step and fell to his hands and knees. That was it. He was done.

The anxiety and panic he felt didn't leave him. Kellem motioned for Malone to take the rope to the curtain and he moved over to Nasch. He stood him up and walked him into the darkness of the woods and away from the people. Nasch heard the applause erupt from behind them and crumbled as soon as they entered the trees. He sat in the brush for a while and forced himself to calm down.

“Is this what it's like after every appearance out give?” Kellem asked with a laugh to lighten the mood.

Nasch laughed too. “Thank God, no,” he replied.

“We'll wait till everyone clears out and then walk home. Iris is probably in shock.”

He nearly forgot about Iris in all of that mess. “God yeah.”

Normally forcing himself to calm down didn't work but he was thankful it did this time. After a while and an exchange of a few jokes he and Kellem began the walk back to the stage to collect the clothes he changed out of earlier.

Quinn ran up and hugged him tightly. “I knew you could do it, Nasch.”

He thanked her and told her he'd return the clothes in the morning. He had to get Iris to bed. She waved as he turned around and walked away.

“You got any cigarettes?” Kellem asked.

Nasch shuffled the clothes in his arms and pulled out his tin. Kellem took it and shuffled through it for two cigarettes and a match. He handed one to Nasch and struck the match on the sole of his boot. He lit his own before he handed the remainder of the burning match to Nasch who quickly lit his own cigarette and shook the flame out.

“Some fuckin story, ain't it?” Kellem said.

Nasch took a long drag. “It's still my favorite.”

“Why is that?”

“Dunno. It always has been.”

The two crossed the wooden bridge leading to Nasch's childhood home and stood in front of it for a while to finish their cigarettes.

“What happened to Orpheus after he lost her again?”

Nasch sighed. “Some legends say that he never loved a woman again.”

“Poor bastard.”

“Emphasis on ‘a woman’.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah. According the one of the oldest accounts, he took on male lovers instead. I like to think that he did love again, just not a woman.”

“You ever love a woman, Nasch?”

“No,” he chuckled. “Never even kissed one. You knew this.”

“I always forget. Lots of people think you and Quinn had something.”

“Pretty sure she wanted it that way.”

“Damn, and you had the audacity to break her heart like that?” He laughed.

“It's not like I've every been interested in women, Kellem. I'm fucking flaming.”

Nasch threw the butt of his cigarette on the ground and stomped out the embers. Kellem did the same shortly after.

“See ya tonight?” Kellem asked with open arms.

“Eventually. Provided Iris isn't too exhausted. Vector had her most the day,” Nasch replied.

The embraced quickly and Nasch walked up to the door and went inside. As soon as he entered his childhood home though, all eyes were on him, wide with shock.

“Fucking flaming, huh?” His father said as he stood from his chair by the window.

Nasch found himself honestly praying to his gods for a way out of this situation. He did not want to confront his father, not after he had the audacity to listen in on a conversation he had no business listening to.

“I thought you were with the lambs all day,” Nasch replied.

“Don't change the subject,” Basil barked.

Nasch flinched and began to back away as his father approached him slowly. “What are you doing?”

Basil exhaled and shrugged his shoulders. “How dare you subject a little girl to your perversions.”

“Perversions-... Dad you don't understand.”

“There's nothing I need to understand. You are not fit to raise a child. I knew you were never going to be a good father.”

This set Nasch off. He didn't want to raise his voice in front of Iris but he felt he had to at this point.

“As if you were perfect! It was always obvious you favored one twin over the other!”

Basil kept advancing and he looked over Nasch from a few feet away. Nasch locked eyes with Iris and saw pure fear in her eyes.

“I never did until now.”

Basil raised his hand to strike his son.


	18. Broken

**Spring: Year 4**

 

“Dad y-you can't. I'm your son. You raised me. You can't do this.”

Nasch backed away more in fear. His father lowered his hand and panic filled every inch of him as he heard the clinking of his father's belt buckle coming undone. He'd never been hit by his father before and now was certainly not the most ideal time to. Not with everyone gathered in the main room of his childhood home.

He breathed hard and his hands shook as he held them in front of himself for defense. He knew this would be futile as his father was much larger than him. He was much more muscular from working out in the fields too. Basil McAine was strong, one of the strongest men Nasch had ever seen. It was what happened when one spent their entire life raising cattle and working the land.

“Stop!” Nasch yelled.

Basil didn't hear him. His blood pounded so loud in his ears. His teeth were clenched tight enough to shatter each and every one. He kept advancing on Nasch ominously. He had a fire in his eyes that Nach had never seen and it terrified him. It looked through him and into his soul. _'You failed,’_ it belted out. _‘You failed. You are no son of mine.’_

This would be Nasch's undoing. He began to tremble. He wanted to tell Iris to run but she’d have to run past Basil in order to run free. She knew where Kellem was. She’d go there. He tried to yell, to make her run but he choked on his words.

His dad walked closer. He folded his belt in half and snapped it. Nasch flinched.

“Dad, please,” he begged. He held his hands in front of himself for protection as if that could stop the man in front of him from advancing. “Let me explain.”

“What is there to explain, Nasch? How is that going to make this any better? I thought I raised you right!” Basil screamed.

“Dad, listen to me. It's not-”

“Marriage is between a man and a woman. No exceptions. How do you expect to continue your bloodline? Iris isn't yours, you can't name her your heir!”

Nasch saw red. Iris was the best thing to happen to him. He was able to see her gain confidence and poise day by day. He was able to watch her grow in a way that he didn’t think was possible. She was his daughter. She was his first line of defense and God help anyone that tried to get through an angry father.

“Leave my daughter out of this!” Nasch yelled. “This is between you and me.”

It was then Basil struck him, open-handed across the face with his non-dominant hand. Nasch’s head turned to the side rapidly and before he could get his bearings, he was struck by the belt on the shoulder

The scream that Nasch let out as soon as the worn leather belt made impact pierced the ears of everyone in the room. Vector took Iris into his arms quickly and pressed her head close to his chest, covering her ear with one hand tightly.

Nasch's mother stood and grabbed her partner's arm. “Basil, enough,” she commanded.

She pulled his arm back only to be shoved violently back by him. She failed to gain her balance and fell to the floor on her knees. Nasch didn’t know what to do. So many thoughts were flooding his mind. He saw Iris in Vector’s arms and he heard her start to cry.

Nasch turned his back to his father in an attempt to lure him out of the house. He made it a few steps but was struck right in between his shoulder blades. This sent a shockwave of sharp pain and numbness through his legs. It caused his knees to buckle and sent him unceremoniously to the floor in a heap. Escape was no longer an option.

“We can't have a fag like this ruling the lands. What would you do if someone found out, Nasch? Do you want more fucking riots?”

Nasch didn't reply. More riots were a possibility. More riots meant more children hurt and killed. He couldn’t let that happen no matter the cost.

_Crack._

He struck him again. “Do you want more people like you out there?”

_Crack._

“More broken”

Crack.

“More demented”

_Crack._

“Twisted.”

_Crack._

“Sick.”

_Crack_

_“_ People like you!”

Basil was unrelenting. He took this time when his child was down to strike him again and again, not caring where the belt actually landed. It struck Nasch absolutely everywhere. He curled up and brought his forearms up to protect his face, his stomach shielded with his legs. He was panicking, hyperventilating and trembling. He had no other choice than to cry. He cried loudly as his father hit him again and again.

“Stop,” Nasch yelled out. “Please.”

His father kept going. Striking him with the force of a thousand men. Hitting him in places that were already raw and tender. The backs of his thighs, his calves, back, and shoulders were throbbing. His choked cries were barely intelligible as he begged and pleaded. Only one thought echoed in his mind, he was going to die here if someone didn't stop this man.

“Basil!” Madelia cried. “You're going to kill him!”

She charged at the man again, this time going straight for his hand that had a death grip on the belt. She was crying and frantic. “I knew,” she said with hysterical laughter. “I knew this whole time!”

Basil pushed her off again, harder this time and shoved her down to the floor. She stayed down.

He charged for Nasch. He picked him up by his shirt collar and placed him on his feet in front of him but he couldn't possibly stand, not with everything happening all at once. Nasch kicked, trying to gain his footing and grabbed at the wall behind him. Basil grew increasingly frustrated at watching his son struggle and pushed him up against the wall with enough force to knock the air out of his lungs and make him gasp. He held him there, crushing his chest between his balled fists and the wall.

“How long?” He growled.

Nasch didn't answer. He clenched his jaw until it hurt and struggled to get free. Despite limited feeling on his legs he still tried to push the man he called his father off of him so he could breathe.

“How fucking long?” He screamed.

“My whole life,” Nasch choked out.

Basil swung at Nasch with a closed fist, hitting him square on the cheekbone. His head turned with such force that he smacked against the brick wall and scratched the other side of his face. He turned slowly to look at his father, one eye closed and the other half-lidded because of the pain. The man who raised him and refused to lay hands on him when he did something bad as a child stood holding his son against the brick wall of the cottage with death in his eyes.

This man, whom he trusted with his kingdom when he couldn't bear to move, was in the process of beating his own blood half to death.

Basil swung again, harder this time. Nasch felt the bruise forming and throbbing in his face. He would back again preparing for another blow. He hesitated but when Nasch thought his father would go in for another blow, he dropped him.

“You are no son of mine,” he spat out. He kicked Nasch in the stomach and then stormed out of the house, belt still in hand. He left those remaining in the room in shock.

It was deafeningly silent as Nasch attempted to pull himself up on his arms to no avail. Despite his limited strength, he kept trying only to lose his strength and fall to the wood flooring. He needed to run, to get away but everything was working against him. He spat blood onto the floor and scrubbed at his tear-filled eyes with his left hand.

“Iris,” he choked out. “Where's Iris?”

Nan slowly rose from her seat and grabbed a rag off of the table. She knelt in front of her grandson and tried to dab at the scrapes on his face but was pushed away.

“Don't touch me,” Nasch whispered. “Don't-”

He cut himself off after he fell to the floor in a miserable heap one final time. He gave up and laid there. Since he was already in a sorry state, he let himself cry. This was a disaster. These three days he had planned were supposed to be happy, he missed home and the people who raised him but it seemed that even they didn't care anymore.

Nasch had given up. Nan went in again with the rag to wipe his tears and he let her. He hated being touched in moments like these but he needed to. He couldn't even hold himself up properly.

“Where is she?” Nasch sobbed frantically. “Tell me someone got her out of here!”

Nan pulled back in shock but went back in with her rag as she proceeded to wipe the blood from his face. “Hush Nasch. Vector took her out the window of my room. She's safe,” she replied softly.

He let her sit him up against the wall slowly and helped him take off his cardigan and his now blood-stained blouse. He couldn’t give this back to Quinn now, dammit.

Madelia set to work heating up a pot of water and Merag now knelt next to her brother. She tied his hair back carefully in a high ponytail.

“He didn't hurt you, did he mom?” Nasch asked softly. He was still out of breath and would be for a little longer. Panic still coursed through his veins and he wanted nothing more than to run. His legs though were useless though, aggravated by the blows to his back and knees.

“No, Nasch. I'm alright,” she whispered. “Let me see your hand.”

In the struggle, Nasch didn't even realize that he scraped his knuckles against the brick. He offered it to his mother who dabbed at it with hot water and wrapped it in bandages tightly. Merag took him by the arm and turned him slowly so he was facing the wall. She allowed Nan to wash his back and clean the area completely before they wrapped his torso in more bandages.

“Let me feel if your cheekbone is broken,” Merag said as she took his face in her hands and turned his head slowly towards her. It was a pitiful sight, the Emperor of the Seven United Lands sat in a heap on the floor, bruised and broken taking help he didn't deserve. He sister took her thumbs and felt the bone carefully, pressing down hard to feel below the swelling and bruising that started blooming across his cheekbone.

“You lucked out, Nasch. Just badly bruised and swollen.”

“Good,” he said softly.

Once the bandages on his back were tucked into place he reached for Merag who half-carried him and sat him down in Nan's chair by the fire.

“Hope you don't mind, Nan,” Merag said with a shrug.

“Not at all, love. Not at all,” the old woman reassured her.

Nasch flinched as he leaned back in the chair. Absolutely everything hurt. It would be worse in a few hours after the panic wore off completely. Merag handed him his cardigan and he slipped it over his shoulders, not bothering to put it back on as he felt every single strike his father handed him. He leaned back into the chair again and looked into the fire.

He remembered days like this. Days where his legs never seemed to work properly. His grandfather always placed him in his own chair next to this hearth, the same chair that Nasch now had in his sitting room. No one sat in it now. It was a privilege they didn't deserve.

“Mom, I'm locking the door.”

“Alright. Just remember to let Iris and Vector in if they come back.”

Years ago, the old man sat on the floor in front of him and talked to him for hours, calming him down when everything became too much. It could have been anything on any given day but the worst was hearing other children play outside. He hated not having memories like those. He felt cheated out of his youth, grown up far too quickly and robbed of his youth by a man with a knife who was most likely still alive.

Nasch closed his eyes and let himself drown in his own sorrow. He flitted back and forth between the past and the present. He heard his grandfather's voice somewhere in the distance.

_“You're more important than you know, son. Don't give up. You're too young to do that…”_

_“Does that make you old enough to give up, pops?”_

_“No, I'm not. I'm still too young.”_

Pops died when he was 70-something. He was the greatest man in Nasch's life and an ideal to strive for. He married Nan, who had a young illegitimate child by a man she had only seen once. Pops loved her and was the father Madelia would have never had without him. He loved his step-daughter as if she were his own. Although he was only in Nasch's life for a short time, he made every single difference he could have and more.

He remembered the day they cremated pops well. Nasch and Merag lit the pyre after placing sprigs of juniper over his shrouded body. He stepped back and watched as the man who made all the difference went up in flames.

_“I thought you were still too young to give up, pops.”_

Nan him years ago that pops died so Nasch could live. He gave his life force to him and allowed him to grow stronger in the months after the old man's death, which he did.

When everyone told Nasch he'd never walk again, he took off dancing.

“Nasch.” He heard his name being called from somewhere distant.

He took off dancing.

“Nasch, wake up.”

He woke with a jolt of adrenaline, confused and in more pain than before as he expected to be. Iris. Where was Iris?

“Did Vector come back with Iris yet?” He asked. Damn, his mouth was dry.

“No,” Merag responded. “Give them time.”

“Can you hand me water or something?”

Merag reached onto the floor next to her and handed Nasch a cup. He sipped from it carefully with his shaky hands and handed it to his sister empty. The numbness in his legs was still present, but less. He rose slowly from the chair, bracing himself on both arms of it. He stood and took a while to steady his balance and walked slowly into nan's room to retrieve a spare shirt of some sort.

He discarded several options on account that it would make him raise his arms more than others. He settled on an overly large button down he kept from an ex-lover that he repurposed as a nightshirt. It took him longer to put it on than he thought it would but he managed. He limped back out into the main room of the cottage to find Nan took her chair back and was knitting by the fire. Nasch walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said.

“No problem, Nasch,” she replied with a smile.

“Mom, I'm going to go find Iris.”

“Be careful,” she warned him. “Do you want Merag to go with you?”

“It's alright. I've been in worse conditions,” despite everything that just happened, he managed to chuckle. “Cross your fingers that I don't run into dad on my way.”

With that, he turned and left. He heard the door close behind him and limped off to one of the locations he had in mind.

“I've known he was gay since he was little,” Nan chuckled once he was out of earshot.

“Hush mom,” Madelia sighed. “Now isn't the time.”

“Better than how I found out,” Merag laughed. “Walked in on him snogging a guy in the hallway and suddenly everything made sense.”

Madelia couldn't help but laugh. “God, he told me during Yule. Guess I'm the last to know everything.”

“Nice young man he's got though,” Nan said. “His first instinct was to protect the girl.”

“If he's with Vector I'm gonna die,” Merag laughed. “There's no way that would work.”

Nasch walked down the dirt path leading from his house and into the stables. Iris expressed an interest in the animals that were kept in the area, especially the cows. This was a good first option and he went with it. It took him a while to get there and was satisfied when he heard Iris's voice as he walked up to the structure. He wouldn't have to walk for much longer thankfully.

He pushed the door aside to find Iris sitting on the floor next to his horse, Cinnamon. She was brushing her and speaking softly to her. Vector was next to her, talking to the little girl softly to calm her nerves which were certainly aggravated.

Nasch let the door spring back and slam accidentally. Both of them jumped when they heard the noise and looked at Nasch. Iris quickly went back to brushing Cinnamon which was calming both her and the horse down.

“You look like you just stared death in the eyes and told him ‘no’,” Vector said as he stood and walked towards Nasch.

“He really did a number on me,” Nasch said. “My cheek looks bad but it's not the worst.”

Vector placed a hand on his shoulder softly but it went ignored as Nasch walked over to Iris and sat next to her. “I think she likes you,” he said.

“Yeah. Vector gave me the idea to brush her for a while. I think she likes it.”

“Are you okay, Iris?” He asked her.

“Just shaken. I'm okay,” she replied, not taking her eyes off the horse in front of her.

“How about you, Cinnamon? You alright?” Nasch pat her ribs and she picked up her head. The horse looked at Nasch and laid back down with a grunt. He chuckled. “Fickle thing.”

Nasch leaned back against the wall of the stable and sat in silence for a little while as he watched Iris talk softly to the horse and continue to brush and pet her. It was painfully obvious that Cinnamon adored the long-awaited adoration. Vector came over and sat next to Iris. He eventually laid down and laid his head in Cinnamon's stomach and closed his eyes.

“Do you have any questions, Iris?” Nasch asked after a long moment of peace.

“About what?”

“Why my dad acted the way he did,” he responded.

“Vector explained a lot. I don't understand why you not being able to love a woman would make him so awful though.”

Nasch sighed. “Where Vector comes from, it's perfectly acceptable. However, Iris, people from different places think differently.”

“But you and your dad are from the same place. He hurt you because of something you can't change and I don't like him.”

She replied far too casually for the statement she just gave. In truth, even after everything that just happened Nasch had no idea what to think of his father. He only had pleasant memories up until that point. He almost cringed but cringing would have meant that he moved his face in a way he didn't want.

“To be honest, I didn't think he would have acted like that. It's not right,” Vector added.

“Well, it's in the past and you both are alright. That's what matters.”

“Yeah,” Iris agreed. “Hey, can we take Cinnamon back with us? It's better than leaving her here alone.”

Nasch laughed. “Well you see, she did live in the stables at the palace for a while. That was until she kicked a stable boy square in the chest.”

Iris gasped. She put the brush aside and folded her arms as she pouted. “Cinnamon! That's not nice!”

The horse whinnied softly in protest and looked at Iris. 'More brushes, more attention,’ she seemed to say. Nasch glared back at her and she put her head back down with a grunt.

“Horse has an attitude,” Vector laughed from his spot, curled up next to said horse.

“Have you met Mach? He's ten times worse,” Nasch replied. “He just doesn't kick innocent stable hands that are just trying to feed him.”

Cinnamon whinnied again, louder this time. She looked at Iris again who was still pouting at her. Iris scootched away from the horse and leaned her head on Nasch for a few moments before she turned her head upwards to look at him.

“Oh my God, your face!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah. The other side is worse.” Nasch turned his head to show her the bruise. It was swollen quite a bit but it would go down eventually. This wasn’t the first time he’d been punched in the face. “I'm okay though.”

“I mean you walked here. I saw you get hit in the back. That had to hurt.”

Vector opened his eyes and shot Nasch a glance. This was news to both of them.

“It did and it took me a little while to get here because of it,” he replied. “I'm okay though.”

“I know, Nasch. You and I have been through a lot worse,” Iris said with a smile. She wrapped her arms around his bicep and hugged him tightly.

“Yes, we have,” Nasch agreed. “Now, are you hungry? Nan was making dinner.”

“I am but I don't wanna go back if your dad's there.”

“He left. He won't be back, don't worry,” he said. In reality, there was no way to tell if his dad would come back or not but he knew everyone in that household would prevent it at any cost.

“Then okay.” Iris stood and waited for Nasch.

Standing up was a struggle for Nasch. His legs still wouldn't cooperate fully. He braced himself on the wall and took a while to gain his balance before he took Iris by the hand and walked with her out of the stable.

“You're limping bad,” she said.

“It'll get better in a couple of days,” he replied.

“Vector, can you get his other side? I don't want him to fall on me.”

“Sure thing,” Vector replied. He offered his arm to Nasch who took it readily and leaned on him. This moment only made him disgusted at allowing himself to be this weak. He couldn't dwell on it now though.

It took a long while to walk back to the cottage and thankfully the smell of stew drifted through the air. Nasch had lost his appetite completely but that didn't mean he wouldn't be forced to eat something.

Vector stepped ahead of Nasch and Iris to open the door but found it was locked and shut tight. He knocked, announcing who was there. Madelia answered and stepped aside to let them in. She must have noticed the uncertainty in the way Iris looked around the room.

She knelt down to meet her gaze and took her hands. “He's gone. He won't be back while you're here, little one. You're safe with us,” she said with a smile.

“I don't ever wanna see him again,” Iris said softly.

“You won't have to,” Durbe said.

“Sorry you missed that fiasco,” Nasch said sarcastically as he took a seat next to Durbe at the table.

“If I were here, he would have been dead.”

Nasch looked at Iris who was positively uncomfortable at that statement and decided a sudden change of subject was in order. “Oh, Iris met Cinnamon,” he said.

“Oh God, Iris are you okay?” Merag said with obvious worry.

“I'm fine. She just needed a little love,” she replied. She chose the seat at the table next to Nasch.

“A little love and a few treats,” Vector added.

“Damn horse is dangerous,” Madelia said. She grabbed the pot of stew off of the fire and placed it on the center of the table with rags underneath to not burn the wood.

“She's just misunderstood, mom,” Nasch said in protest.

“What, like you?” Vector laughed.

Nasch rolled his eyes as everyone in the room erupted in laughter at his expense.

Nan sat across from Nasch and Merag and Madelia sat on either side of the elderly woman. “Well, it's not the best recipe. Unlike you all in the palace, we have to attend to the changing of the seasons but the beef in here is fresh.

Nasch glanced at Vector with a smirk. Neither of them could eat this meal without getting sick to their stomachs.

“Oh shoot, I made some with chicken. Hold on a second.” Nan stood and walked to the fireplace where she unhooked another, smaller pot.

Nasch looked back over at Vector. “Can you eat chicken?” He asked.

“I'll pick it out,” he laughed.

“I'll take it!” Iris said excitedly.

“You still have to be careful with what you eat. I can't have you getting sick,” Nasch said as he shoved her playfully.

Nan returned and placed it in front of Iris so both Nasch and Vector could reach it.

“You don't eat meat?” Madelia asked. “Can I ask why?”

“I've never eaten meat. Religious reasons and things. Plus there isn't much meat where I'm from,” Vector laughed. “It's not a big deal. Chicken broth is easy for me to stomach.”

“Yeah,” Merag laughed. “Now it is.”

Vector rolled his eyes at the memory of the few nights he spent curled up under blankets on Nasch's balcony as he tried to train his body to take in some sort of poultry. Those were not good nights at all. He spent a solid week and a half sick to his stomach because of the smallest bite of chicken.

“Hey mom, I have a question,” Nasch stated.

Madelia had just taken a massive spoonful of the stew in front of her so she hummed in response.

“Who else has that red meat thing in our family? I've been meaning to ask.”

“I dunno,” she replied. “Mom, do you remember?”

“Could be your father. That's a possibility,” Nan replied

“Right,” Madelia said. “Glad it skipped me.”

Iris happily offered her bowl to Nasch who spooned some of the beef stew into it. They ate in silence. It was a nice, calming moment and Nasch knew he needed it but panic still tugged at the back of his mind as he forced himself to eat. There would be an episode tonight at some point, that was for sure. Hopefully he would be able to sense it coming and remove himself before anyone saw. He didn't need any more humiliation.

Vector finished his stew and offered the chicken and remaining broth in the bowl to Iris. Nasch made a mental note of it just in case she made herself sick later on. It only happened once and it was simply because she ate way too fast. She learned her lesson and took her time since then but Nasch was still cautious.

Iris excused herself from the table first and hugged Nan, thanking her. She then wandered off into the spare room to take some time alone. She shut and locked the door behind herself.

“Is she okay?” Madelia asked.

“She's fine. She likes to take some time at the end of the day to be alone. She talks to her doll and tells her about the day. It's a coping mechanism I think,” Nasch replied. “She'll come out and sit by the fire for a while when she's ready.”

“That's so sweet,” Nan said. “You lucked out with her, Nasch.”

He chuckled. “I didn't know I needed her until I had her.”

Vector smiled as he sat back in his chair. It was beautiful to watch Nasch interact with Iris. She brought out a softer, more human side of him. He found himself secretly longing to see more of it. Nasch always seemed like a God when he wandered around the palace but here, there was nothing to make him seem like he was anything but human.

“Durbe, you're doing the dishes,” Merag announced.

“Why can't Nasch?” He complained. He then realized his mistake. He apologized quickly and collected everyone's empty bowls in defeat.

Merag laughed as she rose from her seat to help him. It would go by faster this way. A little while after the dishes were done, Iris came out of Nan's room, dressed in her chemise with her doll in hand. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and sat by the fire just as Nasch expected. He winked at his mother and stood to join the girl by the fire.

After a while Nan sat in her chair, Vector and Madelia dragged chairs from the table over. Durbe and Merag sat at the table and played some sort of game with a worn deck of cards. Nasch didn't bother to ask.

“Can I lean on you, Nasch?” Iris asked him after a while.

“Who wouldn't you be able to?”

“You're hurt. I don't want you to hurt more,” she replied.

Nasch didn't respond, he just pulled her close and let her lean on him. It was uncomfortable and stung a place he didn't even know was hit but it was their routine and he’d hate to mess up the routine. They watched the fire in silence for a while before Iris started to yawn.

“Miss Madelia,” Iris said.

Madelia smiled at her. “You don't have to call me that, sweetheart.”

“What do I call you?”

“Grandmom would be nice. That is if you'd like to.”

Iris smiled, stood, and practically ran into Madelia's arms. “I've never had a grandmom before!”

“I've got a better name for you to call her, Iris,” Nasch said.

“What?”

“Móraí. It's grandma in Sailor's Gaelic.”

Her eyes went wide with wonder. “Is that okay? Can I call you Móraí?”

“Absolutely,” Madelia replied. “I like it.”

Iris repeated the word to herself a few times so she was sure to remember it as she walked back over to Nasch. She didn't sit down though. “It's time for bed, Nasch,” she said.

“Give me a minute to get up. I'll be in, in a minute.”

Iris nodded and walked off slowly but halted suddenly with a gasp. She turned to Nasch with panic in her eyes and he limped quickly as he could towards her as soon as he noticed.

“Iris, what's wrong?”

“What if your dad comes back while I'm asleep? I don't want him to,” her voice cracked and she began to cry. “I don't wanna see you get hurt again, Nasch.”

He knelt down in front of her and pulled her close to him. “It's okay. I'll be okay, I promise. He won't come back.”

“But what if he does?” she repeated this phrase like a mantra, frantic and panicking. She showed the same signs that Nasch did when he got worked up. Her breathing quickened, she repeated one phrase because it was all that echoed in her mind. She clung to those words as if her life were in danger. Nasch pulled her closer and held her tighter to him. Unlike him though, Iris wanted to be held.

Suddenly everyone in the room surrounded her. She got overwhelmed quickly and her breathing sped up more at everyone trying to comfort her. “Too many people!” She yelled.

Everyone besides Nasch backed off quickly and went back to their former spots. They watched carefully as Nasch consoled his little girl. He held her and let her cry until he got an idea. He pulled away slightly so he could wipe her tears and look her in the eyes. “I know somewhere we can be safe.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. Go grab your blankets and your pillow. I'll be right here.”

“Come with me,” she demanded.

“Alright.” Nasch stood again. He was in so much pain but he had to keep it together for Iris. He followed her into the bedroom as she gathered the blankets she was given and her pillow. Nasch gathered his own while he was at it and together they walked back into the living room. Iris was still crying and it hurt everyone to see her like this.

“Where-?” Madelia asked.

“Upstairs,” Nasch replied with a smirk. Madelia nodded in acknowledgment.

“Have a good night, Iris. I hope you sleep well,” Nan said.

Iris was still too worked up to respond properly so she just nodded as Nasch took her hand and led her out of the house. He was secretly hoping it wouldn't rain tonight as there was no real upstairs to the cottage aside from the new loft. He led her around the back of the house and motioned to a ladder that was propped up against the side. The flat roof over the extension of the house was the perfect place for Nasch to hide when it was the off season and needed time away from people.

“You go up first, drop your things and then come back down for mine. I need a little bit of help.”

“There isn't really an upstairs, is there?”

“Not really,” Nasch replied. “We get to sleep under the stars tonight.”

“You're sure we'll be safe up here?”

“Absolutely. My dad can't climb up here.”

Iris climbed the ladder and did as she was told before she returned and took Nasch's blanket and pillow from him and climbed back up. Nasch followed her slowly. Every part of his body was screaming in protest but he continued for her, just so she would feel safe. He helped her lay out the blankets he brought up and he laid next to her on the roof. Iris had finally stopped crying and sniffling and she looked peacefully up at the stars. Nasch turned to look at her.

“What are you thinking about, Iris?”

“That star there, the really bright one,” she said. She pointed at it and Nasch immediately knew what it was.

“Polaris?” he asked.

“No. That's not what that star is called.”

“What is it then?”

“It's my daddy,” she replied shyly.

Nasch’s heart skipped a beat. She rarely mentioned her parents and Nasch knew it wasn't something she particularly wanted to talk about “What?” he asked.

“It's my daddy,” she said again. “He used to take me outside to look at the stars all the time. I remember the night he died I was so sad I came outside to look at the stars and I saw one I never noticed before. I know it's my daddy not whatever you called it.”

“Well, Polaris is the name we give it. We don't know it's your dad.”

“Oh,” she said with a yawn.

“Do you talk to him, Iris?”

“Sometimes. My second night in the palace I did. I realized I had a balcony and I sat outside for a while. It was really cold but I wanted to talk to him so I wrapped myself in blankets. I didn’t have a coat yet.”

Iris’s second night in the palace was most likely that hardest for both of them. Nasch figured another change of subject was in order. He didn’t want to have another episode in front of her. Not after the first one.

“Does he talk back to you?” He asked.

“No, but I know he's listening. He's always watching me and making sure I'm okay.”

Nasch felt tears sting his eyes and pull at the back of his throat. He swallowed hard. Not now. He didn't need this now. Despite his best efforts, a few stray tears fell from his eyes and into the pillow below his head.

He could never be what she wanted, a real father. He wasn't even sure if he was what she needed. Trouble followed him, grabbing at his heels constantly. It wasn't a good environment to raise her in. There were so many questions that went unanswered, so many things that needed to be done correctly. Nasch wasn't sure if he could do any of it.

He turned his head away from her and coughed to clear his throat before he looked back up at the sky to Polaris. “Do you miss him?”

“Every day,” she replied. “It's weird having you now. I mean you adopted me so that makes you my new dad but it feels weird calling you dad.”

“I'm not meant to replace what you had. It's fine if you call me Nasch. I don't mind.”

“Good.”

It fell silent between them until Nasch heard rustling around the bottom of the ladder. He crossed his fingers and hoped Iris didn't hear.

“Room for one more?”

It was Vector thank God.

Nasch turned to look at Iris. “I dunno, do we?” He asked.

“Yeah!” She yelled down to him.

Nasch heard the creaking of the ladder as Vector climbed up. He sat cross-legged next to Nasch and smiled. “Nan sent up a cold rag for your face,” he said as he placed the item on Nasch's cheek.

“Thank God. I needed something for the swelling,” he replied. He moved the damp rag over his cheek and pressed it lightly to the bruised area on his left.

“I have a question,” Iris announced after some silence.

“And that would be?” Vector replied.

“Are you two a couple?”

Nasch and Vector froze. This was a question that neither of them expected or knew the answer to.

Vector let out a shaky breath and inhaled slow and long. “What makes you ask that, Iris?”

“You two act like a couple. You're always together and when you're with Nasch, he smiles differently. His posture us even different. He seems happier,” she replied softly.

Nasch rolled into his side to face her. He had to tread lightly. He promised her he'd never lie to her and now wasn't the time to start. If she picked up on those little nuances, she could pick up in anything.

“Iris,” he said. “Relationships aren't that easy to explain most of the time. There's a lot of things involved and things that have to happen-”

“Like love,” she interrupted. “You mentioned love like that before when Orpheus chased after Eurydice.”

“Like love,” he continued with a small smile. It was all his bruised face would allow. He was glad she remembered the story he told her though. “Like the love that Orpheus felt. Those things fit together like a puzzle to make things work.”

“So is that a yes or a no?”

“It's an almost,” he replied with a small smile. It was all his bruised face could manage “However, there's a catch.”

“Okay.”

“You have to keep this a secret.”

“Oh, that's easy. You and I already have secrets, Nasch. It won't be hard to add another,” she replied. She moved closer to Nasch. There was a silence, slightly tense and awkward but not unwarranted. At least she handled this news well. After a

“What are you laughing about?” He asked her with a smile.

“Two dads are better than one,” she laughed.

Vector let some of the tension in his shoulders fall. Could she really keep a secret like this? Nasch sure trusted her but she was young and naive.

“So do I have to keep everything that I know a secret?”

“Me being gay is no secret to the people here. Around the palace, you have to keep it quiet,” Nasch replied. “About Vector and I, that's the big one that you have to keep to yourself.”

“I can do that,” she replied sleepily. She closed her eyes and snuggled up close to Nasch's chest. “I can do that,” she repeated.

“Tell Nan I said ‘thanks’ for the rag,” Nasch said.

“Wait. You're not staying up here?” Iris asked.

“I can if you need me,” Vector replied.

“That would be nice,” Iris whispered. “Extra safe.”

Nasch maneuvered the blanket so Vector could climb in on the other side of Iris. He took a corner of Nasch's pillow and tucked himself under the blanket. It was a beautiful night out, if not a bit chilly. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and all of the stars above them were visible. He turned onto his left side to face Nasch and wrapped an arm around Iris.

“Extra safe,” he heard her whisper. “Not alone.”

“Go to sleep,” Nasch told her.

“Okay.”

Nasch shuffled onto his back and moved Iris off of his arm. He looked out at the stars, studying them as if he was counting each and every one. Vector looked at him and wondered if he knew all of the constellations. He probably did, having been a sailor in his past an and all. He admired the way Nasch looked in the moonlight. Despite the scrapes that were visible to him, Nasch was still beautiful, godlike even. Vector could have sworn he saw a tear run down Nasch's cheek at that moment. If it really was, he couldn't begrudge him that.

In reality, Nasch was only looking at one star, repeating the words 'thank you’ over and over in his mind until he fell asleep.


	19. Return

**Spring: Year 4**

 

Within minutes of waking, Iris woke Nasch and Vector. They rushed inside, packed their things and woke Merag and Durbe who in turn, packed their things. Nasch kissed his mother and his grandmother goodbye. He promised them letters when he returned to the palace. With a tearful hug, they set off through the town to go collect Kellem who collected the rest of the boys. Nasch had Vector on his right and Iris on his left. Vector for physical support, and Iris for emotional. He needed both of them the most right now as this could very well be the last time he saw his hometown.

Before noon, those who came to The Gap were back on the ferry two days early en route to the Capital once more.

Despite Nasch’s bruised and beaten appearance, Kellem didn’t ask any questions. It simply wasn’t his place. He shut down Malone and Casey with a glare when they attempted. It was quiet, far too quiet for Nasch and Iris. She held his hand like a vice and shifted uncomfortably every now and then. Nasch moved her in between himself and Vector and noticed when she grabbed his hand too.

Vector leaned in close. “It’s over, Iris. You don’t have to worry anymore,” he whispered.

“But Nasch is still hurt. I dunno how long it's going to take for his walk to fix.” She paused, scrunched her nose and giggled. “That didn’t sound right.”

Vector nudged her and smiled.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll rest plenty when we get back to the palace,” Nasch told her.

“You’re safe, Iris,” Vector said.

“Extra safe,” Iris corrected.

Nasch allowed his expression to soften and for his shoulders to relax. God save the man who tried to hurt the ones he loved. Thankfully, they were unhurt save for a few mental scars. Those would hopefully heal in time.

The ferry pulled into the coastal city and they quickly went to the dock and onto the Imperial as fast as possible. Vector half carried Nasch across the deck and to the ladder. He descended first with his own, and Iris’s suitcase. Nasch followed slowly after. Every muscle and joint in his body screamed in pain and he was relieved as he stepped on the wooden planks.

“Where do you want your things?” Vector asked.

“Captain’s quarters. Kellem’s got a bed but he sleeps on the hammock he put up,” Nasch replied.

Vector walked ahead and opened the door. He placed Iris’s suitcase inside and went back up for Nasch’s which was carried by Durbe. He came back down into the captain’s quarters to find Nasch had kicked off his boots and leaned back on the bed in the corner. Iris leaned on him and she was fighting herself to stay awake. Vector smiled and sat on the other side of Iris. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her off of Nasch. He shuffled so he was leaning in the corner and closed his eyes.

“Why don’t you two go get some rest?” Vector said.

“I might miss something,” Iris replied.

“We’re not leaving port until Kellem has everyone ready. Could take a while, Iris,’ Nasch said.

“I don’t wanna,” she pouted.

“Well, I’m going to. Move over. Let me lay down. My back is killing me.”

Vector stood and picked Iris up as he did. He sat her back down next to him and exited the room. She’d probably fall asleep after she realized nothing much was going on around her. He’d go back in in a while to check on both of them but for now, he went through his bag and pulled out his sketchbook and a stick of graphite. He went above deck, sat on the stairs, and began to draw.

It was quiet and the gentle rocking of the ship made it easy to relax after the absolute chaos the trip had become. Eventually, Vector heard small, uneven footsteps walk towards him. Iris sat next to him and glanced at the sketchbook on his lap. He nudged it slightly towards her so she could see it better.

“Nasch kicked me out,” she said, defeated.

Vector couldn’t help but laugh. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. “How’s he feeling?”

“He said he was in a lot more pain than yesterday. Needed to sleep for a while.”

Vector hummed in acknowledgment and turned to the page before in his sketchbook. Iris’s eyes lit up when she realized what it was.

“When did you draw that?” She asked him.

“Yesterday. Right before we left for the play.”

The image before her was one of herself. She sat at nan’s feet cross-legged with her doll in her lap. She looked up at the old woman in wide-eyed wonder as she listened to her tell a story.

“What was she telling you about?” Vector asked her.

“She was talking about how she helped Nasch after the Revolt. It reminded me of what happened when I got hurt,” she replied.

“Oh yeah?”

Vector didn't want to press her further. He'd let her carry the conversation wherever she wanted or needed to.

“Yeah. Apparently, he was hurt a lot worse than I was. He was very sick for a long time.”

“I know,” Vector chimed in. “When Nasch and I met, he could barely stand.”

Iris closed Vector's sketchbook and took the graphite out of his hand. She placed it in her lap and away from him. “Tell me about how you met Nasch,” she requested.

Vector chuckled and retook his graphite. He placed it in the book so it wouldn't get lost. “I was six. He was eight. My father and Nasch's father wanted to have some sort of meeting about trade and a bunch of other boring stuff. One of the maids took me up to meet Nasch.”

“That's not cute.” She sounded slightly disappointed.

“Apparently I annoyed him so much that he had to force himself to learn to walk again, no matter how difficult. I guess that means I became the reason he started to walk again. Motivation, if you will.”

“That's what I was looking for,” Iris said with a smile.

“And what was that.”

“You smiled the same way Nasch does when he talks about you.”

Vector swore his face turned red in embarrassment. He didn't even realize he was smiling until she pointed it out. He chuckled nervously. “I do, huh?”

“I think it's really sweet.”

“How do you pick up on things like that?”

“Like what?”

“It's called empathy. You're able to pick up on little things like my smile when I talk about Nasch. You kind of-... feel the emotions of other people when you're with them in some way.”

“Oh.”

“Did that make any sense?”

“Kind of,” Iris replied.

Vector could easily see her deep in thought as she tried to unpack what he said. Nothing ever got past Iris. If someone were to lie to her, she would let them know why they were wrong and provide several different reasons why. Her tutor told her she shouldn't learn botany because it was “too difficult”. She replied with a rant about how nothing was too difficult with enough practice. Even she could learn complex maths if she tried hard enough.

“Gimme another example, Vector.”

He took a moment to think. “How about that time a few weeks after you came to live in the palace when I was upset about not knowing about what was going on with my mom. You knew something was wrong even though I did my best to hide it.”

“Oh!”

“Understand it better?”

“Yeah. I mean, a little bit. I don't completely understand it. Did you ever figure out a way to send a letter to your mom or something?”

“Not yet. Nasch said he'd try something.”

“I want you to know if your mom is safe. You only get one.”

Vector’s heart broke when she looked at him next. Her eyes were slightly glassy and it looked as if she were about to cry. Vector put his sketchbook aside and put her on his lap. He held her tightly and close to his chest.

“She’s safe. I know she is. She’s one of the strongest women I know,” Vector said softly. “Are you alright, Iris?”

He heard her whimper as she held on tightly to his forearm. “No.”

Vector pulled her head close to his chest much like he had the night before. He smoothed her hair and prepared himself to deal with her cries. However, she held back.

“It’s okay to cry. I know you miss your parents.”

Iris gripped tightly onto his shirt as if she were going to fall. She curled up in a ball on his lap and hid her face. “I miss my daddy,” she cried.

Vector buried his face in her hair and rocked her back and forth. She was a little too old for this but he knew she needed it. He sang her a song his mother used to sing him when he was scared and felt a little too small.

“Daddy died in the spring. I hate the spring.”

Vector now had another piece to this puzzle. He had been trying to piece together details of Iris’s life from before but waiting for little hints and statements that would bring him to realizations. It wasn’t the most effective way but he didn’t want to overwhelm the girl

"Breathe, Iris. I don’t want you to make yourself sick.”

She tried to and that’s about all he could have asked for. However, she was still very upset about almost everything it seemed. Vector heard the rest of the crew coming up the ramp and figured it was about time for a change of scenery. He placed her on her feet and took her hands in his own. Her red and tear-stained face broke his heart.

“Do you want to go below deck? I don’t want you getting overwhelmed.”

She nodded.

He let go of one of her hands and gripped tightly onto the other. He took his sketchbook and his graphite and together he and Iris walked towards the ladder. He went down first so that he could catch her if she lost her grip with shaky hands and legs.

As soon as her feet hit the flooring, he scooped her up. “Captain’s quarters or another place?”

“Captain’s quarters,” she replied.

He carried her in and pushed the door open. Nasch laid sprawled out on his back in bed in a deeper sleep than he should be. Vector held back a smile at the sight.  He placed Iris on her feet and put his sketchbook on a desk in the corner. He knelt down in front of her.

“Do you want to talk about your daddy, Iris?” He asked her.

“I don’t wanna wake Nasch up.”

Vector chuckled and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “He’s out cold. His body needs the rest. It's okay if you need to talk about your daddy, Iris.”

Iris’s biological parents were her “mommy” and “daddy”. There was no other name she called them and no other name she wanted them referred to as. It always gave Vector a constant and sometimes painful reminder of just how little she was. She was four years old when she lost both of her parents and ended up in a place she had no one else. Vector wanted that former councilman from Donasus to rot in hell. However, if his involvement with the torture hadn’t been exposed Iris would most likely be dead too.

Her cries had quieted most likely because she didn’t want to wake Nasch but she was still shaken.

She shook her head ‘no’ and Vector left it at that. He assumed she had an aversion to talking about her parents much like Nasch did with talking about his injury. There was no use trying to pry a response from her.8

“I miss them,” she whispered.

Vector pulled her into his arms so he could comfort her more. He ended up sitting down on the floorboards and pulling her into his lap. “I know you do,” he replied.

After a while in silence, she started to giggle. Vector quickly hushed her. “Nasch is still asleep,” she said.

Vector glanced over to the bed where Nasch hadn’t moved. He made sure his chest was still rising and falling as he breathed before he allowed himself to chuckle. “And he says that I’m a heavy sleeper.”

They giggled for a bit but hushed themselves when they noticed Nasch stir and turn onto his stomach. It was then he began to snore. Vector rolled his eyes and snickered.

“He snores,” Iris laughed.

“Only when he’s on his stomach or when he’s sick apparently,” Vector replied.

“Can I wake him up to get him to stop?”

Vector thought for a few moments about telling her no but shrugged his shoulders and let her go ahead. This was something he wanted to see.

Iris climbed up onto the bed and sat cross-legged next to him. She shook his shoulder lightly a few times but then decided to lay over top of him.

“Nasch,” she whined. “You’re snoring.”

He mumbled something that was muffled by the pillow he buried his face in.

“What?” Iris asked.

“My back.”

Iris sat back up immediately and apologized. He rolled onto his side, facing her, and pulled her down onto the bed. She squeaked as she felt herself being pulled by the waist closer and closer to him. “Nasch! Let me go,” she laughed.

“Let me sleep,” he replied.

“Not if you snore!”

Vector laughed as he stood and sat on the edge of the bed. Iris squirmed and tried to get free from Nasch’s hold but he wrapped his other arm around her. She was laughing as he locked his arms around her. She managed to pull one of her arms free which she used to reach for Vector.

“Help,” she giggled out. “Vector! Help me! I don’t wanna get crushed!”

Instead of helping her as she asked, he crossed his arms. “Nasch, do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Guys!”

After a bit more teasing, Nasch released her. She sat up and crossed her arms. He would have assumed she was angry but the smile on her face have it away.“You betrayed me, Vector!”

“Betrayal means nothing to me,” He laughed.

Nasch shuffled onto his back again and folded the pillow in half so his head sat slightly higher. Iris laid down next to him. She curled up next to him on the bed and yawned.

“There’s room for one more,” Nasch said with a smile.

Vector glanced at the latch on the door and stood to lock it before he returned. He laid down on the other side of Iris and put his arm over her.

If Nasch had it his way, he would spend the rest of the voyage like this, his daughter in between himself and the man he loved. She was safe in their arms and she knew that.

The Imperial went underway about mid-morning. The captain and crew worked through the night so they could all make it back to the capital as soon as humanly possible. Nasch spent the entirety of the time in the Captain’s quarters taking the time to rest everything that ached in his body. Kellem came in to check on him occasionally but found that Iris and Vector were plenty of company.

Iris came and went. Mostly to check on Nasch and see that he was still alive. He didn’t mind. It was endearing in a way. She’d poke her head in the door, check to see if Nasch’s chest still rose and fell, and then promptly exit to occupy her time with something else. Nasch assumed she was keeping his friends company by asking them all of the questions she possibly could. He’d hear everything about it when they returned to the Palace.

They made it to the Capital city sooner than anticipated and everyone filed off of the Imperial. The swelling on Nasch’s face was almost completely gone but the nasty bruise on his left was still a dark purple. As Nasch walked into the palace he could tell that it was obvious many members of the Royal Guard were alarmed. However, they didn’t ask, he didn’t tell. He simply walked past them with Iris and Vector at his sides and straight up to his rooms. Iris left him and went into her bedroom, presumably for the rest of the night. Nasch handed her, her suitcase and hugged her goodnight just in case.

“Feel better, Nasch,” she said.

“I’ll try. Should be easier now that we’re home,” he replied.

He waited there until she closed and locked her bedroom door. He then turned and walked right into his bedroom to flop face first, unceremoniously onto his bed.

“Nasch,” he heard Merag say from somewhere by his doorway.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“I asked the maids to run you a bath,” she said. “I feel like you might need it.”

“Thanks,” he replied, muffled by the mattress.

Merag began closing the curtains around his bed so he could simply lay there as the maids did their work, carrying buckets of boiling water from somewhere down the hall. He closed his eyes for a bit, knowing well that he wouldn’t fall asleep with the noise of the maids running through.

It didn't take long for them to fill the bath and Nasch waited for them to leave before he rose from the bed and locked himself in his bathroom. He stood in front of his floor length mirror as he undressed slowly so he could properly survey the damage done to him.

He took off his shirt first and discarded it next to him on the floor. Parts of the bandages on his side were soaked through with dried blood. He turned and looked over his shoulder at the rest of his back. There were patches where blood went through but not as many as expected. He slowly attempted to undo the knot on the right side of his chest that kept them together but couldn't get a good enough grip. He quickly looked around for his snips. These bandages couldn't be saved at this point anyway.

When they weren't where they normally were, he exited the bathroom and entered his bedroom to find Vector curled up on the bed with Iris. He was telling her some story about his people and she was listening as if she were in a trance.

“Vector, have you seen my snips?”

“Last time I saw them was when you cut Iris’s hair,” he replied.

Nasch snickered and decided to head back into the bathroom to give the knot one more try. He struggled for a few moments before he yelled for Vector. He came into the bathroom to find Nasch looking slightly disheveled and frustrated. He smiled and quickly undid the knot.

“I loosened it up for you,” Nasch grumbled.

Vector promptly left without another word to finish his story for Iris. He closed the door quietly behind him. Nasch turned back towards the mirror and slowly undid the bandages. The areas where skin broke were awfully stuck and more painful to remove than he was expecting. He held his breath as he finished pulling them off. Some wounds started to bleed slightly but it didn't matter. He'd have Vector bandage them later in if they became a problem.

Nasch took a step back and looked at himself in the mirror. His father's worn leather belt did a number on him. He had scrapes and bruises practically everywhere on his torso. He turned around like he had before and froze. He could see practically every blow that was given to him highlighted with greens and yellows. It was beautiful in a morbid way and Nasch found himself disgusted at that thought.

These marks were not beautiful, they were horrid.

In disgust, he turned away from the fogging mirror and unfastened his belt. He discarded his trousers somewhere near his shirt and walked slowly over to the shelves of herbs and spices. He selected his favorites; lavender, and rosemary. He took a soap for his hair because he might as well wash it while he had hot water available. He walked over to the tub, opened the jars, and poured a generous amount of the herbs in.

The task of raising his shaky legs into the tub proved to be a momentous one. It took a lot of effort but eventually, he had a firm grip on either side of the claw foot tub and lowered himself in. He hissed through clenched teeth as water met open wounds. Once he found himself chest deep and sitting on the bottom, he allowed himself to relax and lean back. He sighed as his wounds finally got used to the water. He allowed himself to empty his mind and finally think of nothing just for once. He shifted himself to be slightly lower, up to his neck and almost fully submerged.

“You still alive in here?”

Nasch sat up far too fast and looked in the direction of the voice, Vector’s voice. He winced in pain as it set in quickly and decided to lean back again. “Fine,” he replied.

“Iris went to bed a while ago. Just wanted to check on you.”

“Let me wash my hair, then I'll be in.”

He heard the door close and he sat up to retrieve the bar of soap he used on his hair. He took his time washing it. He made sure each strand was covered and he massaged it through his scalp. Nasch didn't take time to wash his hair often but when he did, it was something he thoroughly enjoyed. He submerged to rinse the soap out of his hair but lingered under the water until he had to come up for air.

After he sat up, he took his time getting out of the bathtub. He was still sore but it was slightly dulled for the time being. He grabbed at a towel and bent over to take most of the wetness out of his hair. He took his time with this too. There was no need to rush things. He didn't have to worry about getting to bed at a reasonable time tonight. After all, he wasn't supposed to be back in the palace for another three days.

After his hair was somewhat damp he wrapped the towel around his waist, kicked the tile under the drain out of the way, and flicked the lever under the tub. He gathered his soap and jars of herbs to place back where they belonged and went to pick up his clothes. When he turned around again Vector stood in the doorway.

“He really did a number on you,” he stated flatly.

“It hurts but it's more of a dull ache. I have to thank Merag for thinking ahead. She cares more about my health than I do.”

Vector walked towards him and took the clothes out of his hands. He discarded them back on the floor and watched the shock on Nasch's face with satisfaction. He placed his arms around his shoulders and pulled him to his chest. “Despite the bruising, I still see you as one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen.”

“Despite the wonderful things you tell me, I think there's another motive behind that statement.”

“If there is?”

“I don't want to aggravate anything,” Nasch now had a faint blush rising to his cheeks which Vector thought was adorable.

Vector leaned down to kiss him softly. “That's fine,” he said.

He stood upright far too quickly and Nasch had to stand on the balls of his feet to compensate for the slight difference in height. He kissed him quickly. “I hate that you're taller than me.”

“I dunno. I kinda like it,” Vector said.

Nasch readjusted his towel and began to walk away with a smile on his face. Vector, however, managed to catch the bottom corner of the towel as Nasch walked by and in one swift movement, the cloth was somewhere across the room. Nasch froze in either shock or embarrassment, he couldn't tell but he didn't turn around. He felt Vector wrap his arms around him again and pull his back close to his chest. Vector pulled Nasch's hair over his shoulder to expose his neck and he began kissing it softly, teasing him.

“I don't want to have sex tonight.”

“At least let me please you in a different way.”

“And what would that be?”

Vector turned Nasch around to face him and he took a moment to admire him. He was slightly soft, lacking the muscle one would expect from such a powerful Emperor, but such is the life of a busy ruler. Vector particularly loved Nasch's stomach. It was soft but still flat. He placed his hands lightly on Nasch's hips and pressed their foreheads together.

“I won't be rough, I promise. Tell me if it's too much.”

“Okay,” Nasch said with a small smile. He leaned in and kissed him again.

With Nasch's permission, Vector knelt in front of him. He licked the tip of Nasch's arousal slowly with a flat tongue and he heard Nasch take in a sharp breath. He glanced up at Nasch's face before he closed his eyes and took almost his entire length in his mouth. He heard the sigh that fell from Nasch lips and it only encouraged him to continue. It was a good thing Vector didn't have much of a gag reflex because there was no stopping him at this point. He felt Nasch's hands tangle in his hair and hold firmly but not too tight.

“Vector,” Nasch whispered, slightly strained.

Vector hummed in response, his mouth was busy elsewhere.

“Vec, my legs.”

With that warning, Nasch's legs buckled and he was sent to the floor awkwardly. Vector had enough sense to try and divert his fall from the marble flooring so he quickly wrapped his arms around Nasch's waist and pulled him towards himself. Vector was sat on his knees with the Emperor in his lap at the end of it. After the initial shock wore off, they locked eyes and broke out in laughter. Nasch wrapped his arms around Vector's shoulders and his legs around his waist.

“You okay?” Vector laughed.

“Fine,” Nasch replied. “My back is still a bit off.”

Vector then got an idea. He shifted Nasch off of him and stood. He then bent over and picked him up bridal style. “Since your legs are still wobbly, allow me to help.”

Nasch made a noise in shock and wrapped his arms tightly around Vector's neck. He held onto the man's shirt for dear life but he could stop the smile that rose to his lips. It started small but grew into a full-on grin when Vector sat him down on the edge of his bed and knelt in front of him. Nasch placed a hand on the side of his face and looked him in the eyes.

He wanted to tell him the truth, that he loved him all these months but it didn't feel right just yet.

Vector helped and hurt him in the best ways. He waltzed back into his life like it was nothing. He took the invitation he insisted he didn't need and showed up without a warning.

Nasch was more than thankful all of those letters he sent came back with denials. However, to those who asked when Vector was leaving, Nasch would tell them he hadn't heard anything from those he'd asked.

Vector looked up and locked eyes with him. He was met with an emotion he'd never seen from him before, something he couldn't place or give a name to. He didn't care though. He leaned down and kissed him adoringly.

Vector was never meant to stay in the Seven Lands permanently. As soon as his father died, he'd have to leave to take the Austranian throne. For now though, Nasch had him here. He had him in front of him and better yet, on his knees. Nasch broke the kiss and pulled back slightly.

“Don't think that I'm done with you yet, Nasch,” he said.

“I never thought you were,” Nasch replied.

Nasch tangled his fingers in Vector's hair as the man leaned forward to finish what he started. Nasch leaned back and used one hand to steady himself on the mattress. He gripped the sheets like a vice as Vector moved his head up and down, delighting in the quieted moans and gasps that he pulled from the Emperor. It wasn't too long until Nasch's composure came completely undone.

“Vec-,” he gasped. “God, you're too good for me.”

He felt his orgasm begin to build in the pit of his stomach but he didn't want this moment to end. He placed the palm of his hand on Vector's forehead and pushed him off with a chuckle. Vector looked up at him slightly confused but he stood anyway and pushed Nasch lightly onto his back to assault him with soft kisses to his jawline and neck. Nasch's moans grew gradually louder as Vector let his hands wander up and down the man's sides to purposefully make him shiver all the while adorning his collarbones with kisses and little nips. Nothing to leave a mark though.

There was something noticeably different about Vector, something softer and more genuine. Nasch found himself falling into every move he made. He wrapped his legs around Vector's waist and felt his hands leave his sides to unfasten his belt and trousers. He let them fall to the floor and he awkwardly stepped out of them. Nasch didn't give him a chance to return his hands where they were. Instead, he tugged on the hem of his blouse. He wanted this gone. He needed to feel Vector's heart pound against his chest.

He obliged and removed the blouse only to discard it next to him on the bed. They'd lose it in the sheets later on and scramble looking for it once the sun rose. That didn't matter either though. Vector pressed their foreheads together and smiled at him.

“You're so fucking beautiful,” Vector whispered as if he were in awe of the man below him.

Nasch felt a blush rise to his face and he looked off to the side in embarrassment. He had never been called beautiful in this way before. It was odd and left him with a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. He wasn't quite sure if he liked it though.

Vector kissed his cheek. “Adorable,” he said.

“Stop,” Nasch complained with a smirk. He playfully pushed on Vector's shoulders in a willingly weak attempt to push him away.

“Never.”

Vector softly turned Nasch's head to face him with the palm of his hand and captured his lips in an enticing onslaught of passionate kisses. He was too good. Nasch quickly returned to the state he was in a moment ago. He wanted this man and everything about him desperately but he knew his injuries wouldn't allow for that tonight. He felt Vector shift above him without breaking the kisses that held them together by their tongues. He felt his cock press against his own and Vector hand stroking them both agonizingly slowly. Nasch wrapped one hand around Vector's back and gripped his forearm tightly with the other. He had the friction he needed to keep him satisfied for now.

However, Nasch shifted his fingers slightly downwards and felt something odd on Vector's forearm. He thought they were veins at first but then realized there were far too many.

These were scars.

Nasch wanted to believe they were something other than what they were but he wasn't dumb. His heart sank and he tried to make it so Vector didn't pick up on the fact that he noticed but he paused and released his hold on their arousals. He broke the kisses and moved back so he could look Nasch in the eyes.

He had no idea how to respond. Vector looked at him with an emotion Nasch couldn't place and it was clear Vector had no idea what to say. He had to say something, right? Anything to relieve this agonizing tension that fell rapidly.

“I can't believe I never noticed,” Nasch whispered.

“I've had them for so long I forgot they were even there,” Vector replied. His expression was pained as if he was remembering the time he inflicted them. “I… don't know what to say.”

“Neither do I,” Nasch replied.

He lightly pushed Vector off of him and grabbed his robe from the headboard. He wrapped it around himself and made sure to cover his lap. They could continue their activities later but this was something that had to be addressed. Vector went for the spare throw blanket. He wrapped it around himself and sat in the bed across from Nasch.

“Where do I start?” Nasch asked.

“What do you want to know?”

Nasch paused for a moment and sighed. “Why?”

“Long story or the short one?”

“Whatever you're comfortable with.”

“After your coronation, I got the taste of freedom I longed for, for so long. I went back to Austrania and tried everything to find a way out of the role I was born into but something inside myself convinced me that death was the only way. I spent my entire life basically locked in the palace and when my mom helped me sneak out so I could be there for you… I just-... I don't know. Something snapped.”

Nasch fought the urge to reach out and hold him. There was clearly more to the story. However, he couldn’t tell if Vector wanted to tell it just yet. They sat for what seemed to be an eternity in silence before either of them had the courage to speak.

Nasch sighed. “I don’t want to lose you if you ever go back to Austrania. I always looked forward to your letters when we were growing up.”

“But you burned them.”

“I was frustrated. I didn’t know what to do but burning those memories seemed like the right thing to do at the time. It wasn’t.”

“It’s my fault for trying to play you.”

“It’s my fault for losing my temper, not yours,” Nasch chuckled nervously. “I kept every single one in a box under my bed for years. You were my first friend when all of this started, the first friend I had that wasn’t a ‘normal person’.”

“I highly doubt that I’m normal by your standards,” Vector said with a smirk. “I just wanted this to be a good night after all of that mess.”

“I just want to make sure that you’re alright, Vec. I care about you and in the dark I couldn’t tell if they were new or not”

Vector showed Nasch the inside of his arms just to be safe and to calm his nerves. “At least three years healed at this point.”

“Why didn’t I notice sooner?”

“Never enough light. We rushed so my shirt was on. You’ve always taken a more dominant role and let’s face it,” Vector laughed. “How many people pay attention to their lover’s forearms during sex?”

“I do if I’m holding onto them while getting pounded,” Nasch mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Vector looked at him with a smirk. “Something about getting pounded?”

“Not tonight,” Nasch laughed. “I don’t wanna aggravate my back any more than it already is.”

Vector looked him in the eyes and Nasch could have sworn his expression was something playful. He didn’t have any time to decipher it before Vector pounced on him like a cat. He pushed Nasch back into the pillows. His mouth was on his own and Vectors hands began untying the strip of fabric keeping his robe together.

“Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted by you?”

"Hey, I was concerned, okay? I care a lot about you.”

“Care a lot about me, huh?”

“More than you’ll ever know.”


	20. Assistance

**Spring: Year 3**

 

It took a few days for Nasch to feel somewhat normal after his return to the Palace. He was thankful that he couldn’t find much logistically that needed to be done. Iris was sitting with her tutor for five days a week and adjusting well to a heavily structured routine. It tired her out at the end of the day and Nasch took this as a blessing in disguise. She woke around the same time he did and attended the morning services with him, sat with a tutor for most of the day, took some free time to do what she needed, and was exhausted by the time supper was done.

Vector began to move his things into Nasch’s room. It was slightly disappointing that no one asked about it. He was in the mood for a good scandal.

Scandal or not, Nasch was determined to make this relationship more than just an affair and he tried to prove that in everything he did. Iris even took more to Vector than he thought she would. Day by day, his little mismatched family was growing closer and it made him excited for each new dawn. He wasn't finding himself reluctant to get out of bed in the morning as long as he woke up with Vector by his side. Having Vector made most things easier.

Nasch's scrapes and bruises from Beltane had mostly healed save for a few tender areas where some bruising remained around his sides. The weather grew warmer every day but with that came the humidity. As much as he loved the lighter clothes and the general absence of snow, he abhorred the humidity.

Morbid curiosity led Nasch to wonder about how Vector would deal with his scars in the upcoming months as the humidity rose as unrolled sleeves on dress shirts were nearly unheard of in the warmer months. Back home, Vector was the crown prince and therefore not to be questioned. Here though, he held no power.

However, Nasch sought out to change that.

He had just pried himself from Vector’s arms after he woke up. This was becoming more and more difficult as the days went on and Nasch had less flexibility with his schedule. The man rarely stirred from his sleep when he was getting dressed for the day but for some reason on this particular morning he woke easily. Nasch had just pulled an ascot from its place in his wardrobe and hung it loosely around his neck to tie it as his last step. Vector sat up in bed and stretched.

_ ‘Perfect timing.’ _

“Good morning Vec.”

“Morning,” he replied with a yawn.

“I have something for you to do today. Iris and I are going to the morning services but after that you’ll be needed in my study.”

“For what?”

“You’ll see.” Nasch turned and walked to the bed. He kissed Vector quickly before he walked out of the door without another word as he tied his ascot.

It seemed like Nasch’s days were finally looking up. This was something to be proud of. He developed a sort of odd routine with his little mismatched family and no one even batted an eye. He was sure they talked behind closed doors though. How could they not? This sort of partnership was immoral, scandalous even. It was practically unheard of for two men to be in a stable relationship together and be in it for more than just physical pleasure.

When Nasch walked by Iris’s room, the door was open. He knocked softly on the frame and she greeted him with a smile and a hug around the waist as she usually did. Together they walked down and into the chapel while Iris talked about how she was excited for her lessons today. Nasch listened to every bit of it. He adored hearing her talk about things that seemed like nonsense to him but meant a lot to her. He could see a sort of passion and excitement in her eyes. He wanted to keep that and foster it as much as he possibly could.

They decided to skip sitting in the sacristy before services and instead walked directly into the chapel. Iris was catching on to different words in Proper here and there. Nasch figured it was a good idea to let her come so she could get more exposure. After all, she’d have to learn the language in its entirety someday soon. It shouldn’t be too hard though. Nasch knew the language and spoke it enough to get by so he could try to be a good teacher.

The services went by quickly and before he knew it, Nasch was walking towards the library with Iris at his side. They entered she room and she greeted her tutor with a deep bow at the waist. Nasch shook his hand and thanked him as he usually did. Iris and her tutor took their seats at a table by a window as per Iris’s request and Nasch unlocked the door to his study. Now that the doorknob had been fixed, he was able to keep important papers and files under lock and key in here. It was much easier than having to store them in Damien’s office while he was away.

The council scribe, Damien had taken an emergency leave of absence for an undisclosed amount of time. He came to Nasch looking disheveled and concerned about something but Nasch didn’t pry. Damien worked tirelessly for him for years. It only made sense that he’d let him go. His temporary replacement, however, was unsure as to how most things went and needed a lot of coaching. Nasch kept his patience though and was the one who volunteered to give her the proper time she needed. After all, no one else wanted there to be a female scribe sitting in on the council meetings.

Inara was the first of her kind and Nasch was more than excited to bring her on. She worked as a maid in the palace before Iris ended up striking a conversation with her over something with her studies. The young woman didn’t hesitate to stop to help her with a kind hand. Nasch would have hired her as a scribe on the spot if he could have.

As soon as Nasch sat down at his desk, she appeared at his door much like Damien did with a stack of papers in her hand. She was unfamiliar with most things but was willing to learn and that’s what mattered.

“Do you have a minute, Emp-,” she cut herself off to correct her mistake. “Nasch?”

He chuckled and folded his hands on top of his desk. “Perfect timing. I haven’t started anything yet.”

“I had a question about this document. I found it on Damien’s desk when I was getting trying to clean it off..”

Since Inara was the current council scribe until Damien’s return, she was given the key to his office. Damien worked in organized chaos and normally had papers spread everywhere for various reasons. She begun the task of setting up some sort of organization system so it would be less of a hazard for people simply walking in with a question. She took the top page out of her pile and handed it to Nasch. He put his spectacles on and skimmed over the page in front of him.

It was a letter to Merrick, Damien’s current partner. He read the first paragraph and folded it neatly in half so it would be safe from prying eyes.

“It’s a letter,” he said plainly.

“I thought it was. I read the first line and thought I should give it to you. You and Damien were close after all.”

“Well, it's not addressed to me I can tell you that much.” Nasch chuckled as he tucked the item away in his desk drawer.

It was then Nasch got an idea, slightly sadistic and possibly reputation damning. He’d see where this went though. He could stop it if it went too far. “Tell me, Inara,” he began. “What do the rumors say about Damien and me?”

She was shocked by his, obviously so. However, she did reply. “The honest truth?”

“As honest and brutal as you heard it.”

“The maids say you two were lovers. That some have even seen you running through the palace to get upstairs.”

“Do you believe those rumors?”

“I don’t know, Sir.”

Nasch sat back in his chair with a smirk. “You don’t have to call me ‘Sir’ anymore. You’re my council scribe.”

“It just feels odd,” she replied.

“It feels right to me,” He paused for a moment before he decided to swing the subject back to the rumors. “What other rumors are there about me?”

“Mainly rumors about different affairs I think,” she said. “One with Durbe, one with a member of the guard. The newest is with Vector.”

“Which royal guard member?”

“Marcell. He said something about it a few years ago, I think. Tried to dispel them but nothing worked. Once a rumor takes hold and spreads, everything adds fuel to the fire. Including a denial.”

It was then Nasch remembered that Inara was the victim of the last big bit of gossip to spread around the palace.

“Let me ask you a question, if I may?”

“Go ahead.”

“Those rumors about you, the reason you were cleaning the foyer alone when Iris needed help. Were they true?”

Inara hung her head slightly. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or outright ashamed. “Unfortunately, yes,” she said.

“There’s no reason for you to be ashamed about something like that. There’s nothing wrong with it. If members of the council start giving you trouble about it, I want you to come right to me.”   
  
“It was immoral, sir.”

“Who says?”

“Scripture.”

Nasch held back a laugh. “Go talk to my sister about it,” he said. “I’m pretty sure she has a speech about it already.”

She seemed taken aback at Nasch’s casual response. After all, the Emperor just dismissed the rumors that damned her reputation as a maid. He decided to build her up despite those rumors and give her a promotion in an area she never thought she could receive.

“You know this, how?”

“I asked her about it one day when I was-... sixteen I think. Just figuring things out, myself.”

“Wait. You’re-”

“I will neither confirm, nor deny. It’s how you get by these things. Deniability. People don’t have any direct confirmation so they eventually go away and fade into obscurity so you can laugh about them over a pint at a pub.”

Vector appeared at Nasch’s door and knocked on the frame. “Busy?” He asked.

“Just chatting,” Nasch replied.

“About?”

“Rumors,” Inara chimed in. Her nervousness would wear down around him eventually. However, today was not that day. She sat upright in her chair with her hands folded neatly in her lap.

Vector laughed and decided to sit on the corner of Nasch’s desk. “Ah, I know quite a bit about the rumors around here. Quite a few of ‘em.”

“Was the letter the only thing you had for me?” Nasch asked her.

“It was. I just wanted to put it in the hands of someone trustworthy,” she replied. She stood and thanked Nasch before she left. Nasch listened to the sound of her footsteps fade as she began to walk across the room.

“Speaking of rumors and gossip, what’s in the letter?”

“Not my place,” Nasch said as he tucked the letter in the back of his drawer to forget about as Damien had before he left. He might have loved playing into the gossip and rumors but he still considered there to be a fine line between feeding the gossip and being untrustworthy.

Vector nodded and swivled so he could better face Nasch. “Anyway, you said you needed me today?”

“Since I have you here for an unknown amount of time, I figured that I could put you to good use.” Nasch dropped an overly full folder next to his hip and it landed on the desk with a dull thud. He placed his spectacles on the bridge of his nose and smirked at him. “You're helping me go through these proposals. Put the shitty ones in a pile and the ones that might be useful in another. We'll go through them together when you're done.”

Vector moved off of the desk and complied with Nasch's request without protest. He finally had something to do. He sat in the chair that Inara had just vacated and pulled it up towards the desk. “I don't know much about your policies and laws that are already in place.”

“Most are similar to yours. If it involves tax reform put that in your discard pile though. We don't need another rehaul of the system just yet. Any questions, just ask.”

Nasch was more than ready to have a hand with things logistically. He had no issue involving Vector as he had been around long enough to know the customs and norms of the Seven Lands. These were issues he could have input on. There was also something about Vector having been born and bred Royalty. This made him even more of a candidate to help out than anyone else.

The pair worked in silence until all of the documents were sorted through. Their task was complete about mid morning and Iris's tutor had released her for a short break. Most of the time she sat in Nasch's study with him and forced him to take a break. This was both a blessing and a curse. However, with Vector's help that was not an issue. What would have taken Nasch most of his day was complete with plenty of time to spare. He had just begun to skin through Vector's rather small discard pile when Iris came bounding in with a rather tattered and well-used journal that she used for her simplified botany lessons.

“How are you, Nasch?” She asked him with a smile.

“Good. How are your lessons going?”

“Pretty good. Mr. Andaross said he's going to take me out into the garden today and show my how to press flowers to save them in my journal.”

Vector sat forward in his chair and smiled at her. “Mind if I take a look at your notes?” He asked.

“Um… Be careful with my book. I use it a lot.”

She handed the book over gingerly and Vector handled it with the same care she gave it to him with. He flipped through the first few pages and accidentally tore one out that was hanging on its last thread in it's binding. He apologized as Iris winced at the noise and handed it back quickly before he did any further damage. “Just how long have you had that?”

“Not long... It was mommy's first.”

“Ah, I see,” Vector replied. A sudden oang of guilt tore through him at the thought of the ripped page. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs at the thigh. “She liked botany, I assume?”

“She used it for which flowers and things made the best dyes for fabric. Some pages are just scratch paper with small drawings and-... Quotes I guess.”

“Would you like a new one?”

“I wanna finish this one first.”

Vector thought about something for a moment before he leaned forward again to speak to her, meeting her gaze. “When's your birthday, Iris?”

“The seventy-eighth day of spring,” she replied with a smile.

“That's right around the corner, Iris! You never told me this,” Nasch interjected, clearly shocked at how casual she was in addressing this.

“You never asked. Besides my birthday was never anything special. It's not a big deal. I don't like big presents and surprises.”

Vector laughed. “That makes two of us. I hate surprises. I'll tell you what though. I'll get you a few more journals for your birthday. Very special ones,” he said.

It was obvious Iris wanted to deny any sort of gift but she begrudgingly agreed anyway. “Only if they're not super expensive.”

“Iris, I'm the Emperor,” Nasch interjected. “Expense isn't that big of a deal.”

“I know but I always feel bad,” she replied softly. “It's not like it was always like this.”

“I understand but you rarely ask me for anything. It's okay if you want a few journals for your hobby. It's not a big deal.”

“Promise?” she asked.

“I promise,” He replied.

Eventually, the time came for Iris to go back to her lessons and she left the room with a smile and a wave. Nasch took off his spectacles and placed his hands over his face. “This kid is going to be the death of me. I swear.”

“You picked her.”

“What kind of 'special journals’ were you planning on giving her?” Nasch asked, slightly perturbed.

“Bound by myself. Figured she'd appreciate something like that if she doesn't want her birthday to be a big deal,” Vector replied casually.

“Since when can you bind books?”

“My mother taught me when I was little. How do you think all of my sketchbooks turn out the same? There’s no possible way I could keep finding the same exact one,” he chuckled and crossed his legs at the thigh again.

Nasch sighed and returned to his task, skimming through Vector’s discard pile. When he found only a few that needed to be looked over again, he placed it in a corner of his desk.

“Now, you said you were largely unfamiliar with certain ordinances and laws but you did a good job for not knowing much.” Nasch leaned over the desk and placed the papers so that they were facing Vector.

“I tried,” Vector chuckled.

“A couple of these I put in the other pile to appease my council members at the meeting tomorrow,” Nasch said. He showed Vector the few he chose and took his time explaining them. “These three are for stipends for farmers built into the infrastructure. Not technically tax reform but one wants to raise it, the other two want to lower it.”

“Why is that in there? The stipend I mean.”

“Back when I still lived in the gap if farmers didn't make enough last season, there was little to no way to buy new crops for the upcoming one. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was across the seven lands. While my father mainly raised livestock, a good family friend struggled with the profit loss for years. This was one of the first things I implemented as Emperor, actually. It's saves quite a few people.”

Vector nodded. It was an interesting thing to have. It seemed helpful but it was most definitely not something that was able to be implemented in Austrania when he returned. Not right away, anyway.

“This one is about tax reform and redistribution of funds but we keep discussing it solely to appease one of the council members who won't shut up about it,” Nasch said. He rolled his eyes as he put the document aside.

“This one much have been an accident. Child trafficking. You remember the toddler, don't you?”

“Roca,” Vector replied. “I wanted to know what happened to him but I have no way of getting in contact with home.”

“I got a letter from the translator last week that I forgot to tell you about. Instead of returning him to the palace, she kept him. Not the most legal thing to do but I'll let it slide.”

“What did you do with the letter?” Vector asked, intrigued. Even if he was slightly offended at not returning the child to the palace, it was for the best. He hated that tradition and would do away with it if he could. There was no reason to rob innocent children of their lives.

“Burnt it. Destroy the evidence and such,” Nasch laughed. “I'm normally not one for breaking the rules in this way but-”

“No,” Vector interrupted. “He's safe in her hands.”

Nasch looked slightly surprised but nodded and continued. “This is basically trying to make punishments for those caught and found guilty harsher. Which, I am all for.”

“That was definitely an accident. Probably got stuck to the back of another paper,” Vector said.

Nasch spent a few moments shuffling around papers on his desk before he placed a blank page and a quill in front of Vector with a smirk. “I think I found a way for you to get in contact with your mother by the way. Is there anything I should know before I tell you my plan?”

“Her letters normally aren't read beforehand if that's what you're asking. Unless there was an all out frantic search for me. That must have died down by now though.”

“Good,” Nasch said. “Bottom line, I used to use a fake name when I slept my way through cities in my past life. Using this fake name, I think we can actually get letters to your mother through 'me’."

“What exactly was this name?” Vector asked skeptically.

“Ríoga. It means royal. Not really a name but then again, no one really asks for your name of you're looking for a quick fuck.”

“Enough did for you to find a fake one,” Vector laughed. “Sounds exotic enough. My father might think she took on a lover.”

Nasch sat back in his chair and pushed it out from under the desk. “I didn't even think about that,” he said. “Do you think it'll work?”

“Fuck, I hope so.”

Nasch stood and walked around to the other side of the desk. Ke kissed Vector quickly and gathered some papers to give to the Council Scribe in training. “My chair is much more comfortable. You can adjust the height.”

With that, Nasch left the room and closed the door behind him. Vector gladly set to work, writing a first page of nonsense as Ríoga and slowly transitioning into writing as himself. He gave his mother instructions on how to reach him when the time came and ensured that he was completely and utterly safe here.

As Vector wrote his letter, Nasch was halfway across the palace having distributed the papers. He peered out the front steps and into the garden to check on Iris and her tutor before he went back inside to annoy his sister and distract her from whatever task she didn't want to be distracted from. It had been a while since he finished with his tasks before her and he figured it was cause for a celebration by way of a quick visit to annoy her.

He walked into the room to find the activity level high with Priests of all ages teaching and learning about the art of healing or scripture. He walked right over to his sister who sat at her desk with Cherry presumably looking over and choosing scripture for the next day. He sat on top of the desk without warning and smacked the wood in front of her with a closed fist to get her attention as she did to him often.

“Can you not?” Merag asked, already perturbed.

“Nah. I finished my stuff for the day until something else happens.” Nasch laid down on the desk across whatever papers she and cherry had sprawled out. “Figured I'd come and say ‘hi’.”

“Say ‘hi’ to me another time. We're busy.”

“With what?” Nasch asked.

“Cherry and I are planning her Ceremony. She's getting promoted,” Merag said. She grabbed a fistful of hair on the top of Nasch's head and pulled him up and off of the papers.

Nasch stood and helped fix the papers he messed up. He apologized and walked over to Cherry to congratulate her. She stood and hugged him tightly to thank him for supporting her.

“We would have told you yesterday but Miss Merag said you were busy.”

She looked him in the eyes and brushed her hair out of her face. “Yes, very busy,” she repeated sarcastically.

Nasch grew slightly embarrassed. The day before he finished his work in the morning and practically ran back upstairs to help Vector move his things into his bedroom. This was the first mention of this. He was certain Merag knew about their relationship at this point. They could talk about it later.

“I actually wanted to give you this, Emperor,” Cherry said as she handed him a piece of paper.

He squinted at it but managed to read the title. It was an application to move into the Royal Rooms. Nasch had almost forgotten that this was completely acceptable for high ranking Priests and Knights. It was seen as a gesture of thanks from the Emperor to them for their service. At this point, Nasch had no reservations about Cherry moving in save for the thing he had with Vector that resulted in them sharing a room and a bed out of wedlock. This was most likely not the smartest move but Merag and Cherry most definitely shared secrets. It shouldn't be that hard to keep this quiet too.

“I'll look it over when I get back to my study. Have you talked to Durbe about it yet?” Nasch asked her.

“I have. He said he had no problems. The only person left to ask was you.”

Nasch nodded and congratulated her again. “Let me know when you want your ceremony,” he said.

“As of right now, as soon as possible. I hate the attention from big events.”

Nasch scoffed. “You and me both. I'll get back to you this afternoon. You'll be here?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Still planning.”

Nasch apologized one final time for royally messing up their planning session and excused himself from the room, slightly embarrassed. He head back to his study quickly to find Vector was just finishing up the final draft of his letter. He must have gone into the desk to pull out an envelope because one sat in front of him. Nasch propped the door open again and sat in the chair across from Vector.

He reached for his spectacles which were just slightly out of grasp. Vector moved them even more out of his grasp without looking and laughed and Nasch stood up to reach for them. Vector saw this coming. He quickly snatched the item and tossed it on the chaise lounge behind him with a smirk. He acted as if nothing happens and simply returned to reading over his letter. He folded the pages carefully and stuffed them into the envelope as Nasch stared at him in disbelief.

“What?” Vector asked as he placed the envelope on the desk.

“You threw my specs!” Nasch laughed.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Nasch grumbled as he stood to go retrieve them but found Vector also stood to block him. Nasch stepped to the side to pass him but found Vector mirrored his movements. Vector smirked at him. “There's nothing back there,” he said.

“You're smirking. I watched you toss them behind you. I need them.” Nasch stepped to the side again  only to be blocked by Vector.

“There’s nothing back there, Nasch,” he said with a chuckle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Vec,” Nasch said as he tried to push past. “Just let me get them.”

Vector pushed him aside and blocked him with a smile. The pair struggled for a few moments before Vector finally decided to let him pass and grab his spectacles.nasch took his desk chair back and Vector sat in the spare chair across from him. He watched as Nasch pulled a generic wax seal out from a desk drawer and seal the envelope. He placed his specs on the bridge of his nose and grabbed for Cherry’s application. There was no real need to read it in depth as he knew Cherry was already fit to move her things. He placed it on the corner of his desk and took his specs off one final time.

“So,” Nasch began. “Anything you want to do?”

“What do you mean?” Vector asked him.

“I mean since I have the rest of the day free because you decided to help, we could probably go out and do something.”

“Out of the palace?”

“Why not? You said you were going to bind Iris journals. I know a place on the Main Walk of the Capital that sells that kind of stuff. There’s plenty of little shops and things too.”

“Like a date?”

“Anything to get me out of the palace for a while.”

Vector smiled as he agreed and together they walked up to their bedroom to change into normal looking clothes before they left. Nasch ended up tying his hair back in a high ponytail simply to keep it out of his face. Vector lingered upstairs for a while, tidying things and making the bed, while Nasch looked for Durbe to let someone know he was heading out for an afternoon in the city.

Nasch returned sometime later with a sheathed dagger in hand which he gave to Vector. “Durbe is fine if just you and I go. He’s seen you fight and apparently thinks your suitable to protect me should something arise.”

“You’re not worried about leaving without an actual escort?”

“I do it all the time. No one knows who I am, really. Just ditch the well tailored suit and stuff and I look like a normal citizen.”

“In broad daylight though?”

“It’s been about a year since I’ve done this but I doubt much has happened since.”

Vector unfastened his belt to slip the sheathed dagger on and ensure that it was easily accessible. Once he was done he smiled at Nasch and pulled him into his arms excitedly. This was his first real time exploring the Capital. The other times they ventured in it was for a purpose and so unbelievably cold. Now that the weather broke, it was so much easier to take some time to look around.

They left the palace through the main entrance and notified those at the guardhouse on the bridge they were out and would return before the sun set. With that, they were free for the afternoon to walk around and pretend they were normal for a while.

The pair head to the other end of the Main Walk and decided it would be a good idea to work their way back to the palace. Nothing caught their eye for a block or so until Vector say a statue of something and ran off without a warning to Nasch.

He followed him inside to find him excitedly chatting with the owner of the shop in a language he didn’t understand, presumably Quechua. While the two were engaged in conversation Nasch took a look around at the shop. It seemed like he stepped into a different world. Colorful tapestries hung off of every wall, different statues and jewelry decorated the shelves. Nasch took note of the different necklaces with idols and symbols that he thought might suit Vector well. He focused on the tapestries that had small pieces of the hand woven pattern displayed and wondered what would happen if he decided to unroll it to see the full pattern.

For a few moments and for the first time, Nasch had a small look into Vector’s native culture and realized just how different it was from his home.

When Nasch looked up again, Vector was being led around the shop by the owner. He was being shown various treasures. Nasch understood none of it. He wanted to know but figured it was for the best that he didn’t. Let Vector have his moment. He’d ask about it later on.

Nasch turned his back to look at a carefully sculpted statue when Vector appeared next to him.

“Viracocha,” he said. “My creator god. Also my namesake.”

“Your namesake?” Nasch asked.

“Well, my birth name isn’t Vector. Its customary for all in the royal line to be named after gods. My father’s name is Illapa, God of Thunder and Lightning among other things.”

“Is that why you get uneasy during thunderstorms?” Nasch teased.

“Probably. I used to be a lot worse when I was little. The association with the name and all that,” Vector chuckled nervously before he turned away to ask the shopkeeper what Nasch assumed was a question.

Without asking, Vector pulled Nasch’s wallet out of his pants pocket and paid the man behind the register for something. On his way back over, he picked up a necklace and one of the tapestries Nasch had his eye on earlier.

“Ready?” Vector asked.

“Sure. You mind giving me the gist of the conversation you two had?”

They walked out of the shop together and much to Nasch’s dismay nothing else along the Main Walk caught his eye. He decided simply to head to the store he mentioned earlier to get Vector the things he needed to bind Iris some journals.

“That man's from Cusco. He travels around the world selling Austranian things. He tries to sell them to Austranian people, where most of his business comes from but he made so much money selling his wares in the Capital he decided to stay.”

“Smart move,” Nasch said. “We get a lot of people in and out of here from everywhere. What did you end up buying?”

Vector stopped and unclasped the golden chain from the necklace he bought. “Turn around, Nasch.”

Nasch obeyed as he realized Vector had thought of him when buying the necklace. Nasch stood still as Vector fumbled to close the clasp again. Nasch pulled his hair out from under it and turned back around with a smile. He looked down at the charm on it.

“You’re going to have to tell me what it means, Vec,” he said.

“It’s called a Chakana. Each of the different edges means something different. The best way I can explain it simply is that it’s like a compass but more… spiritual?”

“Go more in depth,” Nasch said, coaxing more out of him.

He saw a light in Vector’s eyes as he tried to find the right words to say. He wanted to hear Vector talk about something he was passionate about and if he didn’t understand a bit of it, so be it. He began walking by his side as he tried to explain.

“Okay so,” he began. “To make it easier I’m going to compare it to a compass. If you’re looking at from the bottom Northeast stands for responsibility, productivity, and the present. Southeast is happiness, passion, and expression. Southwest is acknowledgement, protection, and awareness. Northwest is trust, connections, and-... well, love.”

It took Nash everything in his power not to kiss him in the middle of the Main Walk. Instead he reached for Vector’s hand and held it tightly. “Thank you,” he said softly. “It means a lot. More than words can say."

“There is a bit more if you want to hear it,” Vector said.

“Absolutely,” Nasch replied without hesitation.

Vector went on explaining the different meanings of the Chakana he had just given Nasch. The center stood for overall spiritual wisdom, which Nasch thought was interesting.

After Vector finished speaking, he looked around as he felt eyes on him. Nasch looked in the same direction to find a glare of disgust coming from a woman. She pushed her young child behind her to protect him from whatever danger two people in love could possibly bring.

He looked in another direction and found a few young girls whispering to each others we something Nasch couldn't hear. Judging by their glances to the pair, it was most likely them.

All around Nasch and Vector people glared at them. Some laughed and others snickered. This broke Nasch's heart. Vector went to pull his hand away but Nasch only held onto it tighter. “Fuck what they think,” Nasch said. “They don't know a damned thing.”

“But this is-”

“Disappointing? Trivial? Sad? Aggravating?” Nasch interrupted

“All of the above,” Vector sighed.

“Fuck it. Don't let them ruin our day, Vec,” Nasch replied.

They fell into a silence as they continued to walk and just to aggravate the onlookers more, Nasch moved closer to Vector and placed his cheek against his shoulder as he looked up at him adoringly. This earned him a chuckle from Vector and some remark about loving the attention.

Much to Nasch's dismay, none of the other shops caught his or his partner's eye. They simple decided to make their last stop and then head back to the palace. He led Vector by the hand into a small shop filled with books. He motioned to the back where the materials for binding were kept.

The man behind the counter greeted Nasch with open arms since there was no one else in the store. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Got anything good for me?” Nasch asked with a smirk.

“You got the sequel to the one novel, right?”

“Done. Read it twice actually,” he replied.

“Don’t have much after that one.”

The bookbinder knew Nasch many different ways. Yes, he knew him as the Emperor currently but he also knew him as a sailor and the Prince at one point. They met in Eastport years ago before Nasch had the chance to figure out just who he was. The man supplied him with books and journals at a discounted price back then. Now, Nasch had to argue with the man to let him pay in full.

“How long you plan on staying here today?” The man asked Nasch after a while.

“Not very long. My daughter should be done with her studies soon.”

“Daughter?”

“Adopted. You think too highly of me,” Nasch laughed.

The man laughed. “You always were a bit unorthodox, weren’t you?”

“Always was, always will be.”

At this point in time, Vector had what he needed gathered up in his arms and he placed it on the counter to show the man what he was taking.

“This is Vector by the way. My latest uh-”

“Partner?”

“That’s a good word,” Nasch said with a smile.

“Better than anything we could come up with,” Vector added. “How much?”

“For you, free,” the man said with a smirk.”

“Dear god, man,” Nasch said exasperated. “I have the money now.”

“You send me good business, that’s payment enough.”

Nasch snatched his wallet out of Vector’s hands and placed ten coins on the counter. Definitely more than he should have paid but together they quickly gathered their things and ran out before the man had a chance to protest payment again. They walked out of the store laughing and reached for each others hands again. Maybe this whole relationship would work out in the end. However, Nasch knew not to get his hopes up.

“Back home?” Vector asked.

“Yeah,” Nasch replied. He looked over and saw Vector smile. He walked confidentially with his shoulders back and face forward. Nasch vowed never to forget the way the hair hit his hair just perfectly and illuminated the freckles on his face. Nasch found himself nearly breathless as he let go of Vector's hand to walk up to the guardhouse.

They walked together back inside and straight up to the Royal Rooms. Nasch let Vector move into the room that was once his with the promise to remove the remaining few items over. He passed Merag's room to find her and cherry with papers sprawled out on the bed presumably still planning. They were too dressed in normal clothing and laughed as they planned. Nasch knocked on the doorframe and smiled.

“When are you moving in?” He asked Cherry.

“As soon as possible if that's okay, Emperor,” she replied.

“Well, you can start moving in tonight if you'd like. On one condition.”

“That is?”

“Up here, call me Nasch. We're a lot less formal up here.”

“Deal. Wanna help me, Merag?”

Nasch took note that Cherry dropped the 'Miss’ before her name and assumed she had the same talk with her not too long before they moved their planning up here.

“Let's go,” Merag said.

With that, the girls practically took off running to Durbe's room to collect him before they went to start gathering Cherry's things. Nasch smiled as he watched the girls run off excitedly but he quickly turned to see Vector walking out of his old bedroom with an armful of miscellaneous items and a smile.

“This is actually the last of it,” he said. “For some reason I thought there was more.”

Nasch smiled as he walked with Vector into the bedroom they now shared. No one questioned a thing. No one raised concern, not even Merag. They wordlessly accepted. At least he assumed he did at least, he hadn't heard otherwise.

Finally, something was going right.

Nasch absentmindedly wrapped his hand loosely around the golden Chakana as they walked and smiled at the man next to him. 

 


	21. Anger

**Summer Year 3**

 

“Need a hand?” Nasch asked.

“No, I’ve got it,” Vector replied. He was in the middle of placing a statue of one of his gods on top of the wardrobe. It was a slightly difficult task as the thing was slightly too tall for him. “It’s not like you could reach it anyway.”

Nasch scoffed and returned to his task, placing his suit jackets on hangers to situate in the wardrobe once Vector moved away. Once he finished, he turned around to find Vector still struggling with his statue. He smiled and rolled his eyes as he left them on the edge of the bed. He turned around to find Vector abandoned his statue on the floor in pursuit of something else.

Hey Nasch, What’s this door?”

“What door?”

“Behind the wardrobe. What’s back there?”

“A walk-in closet. Too big for the small number of clothes that I have,” Nasch replied casually.

Without asking, Vector leaned his back against the side of the wooden wardrobe and pushed it back with his legs.

"Hey," Nasch said. "Me telling you what it was didn't give you permission to go in it."

Vector didn't listen. He moved the wardrobe out of the way slowly until he could fully open the door and step inside.

Nasch stood back and watched with his arms folded across his chest. A smug grin spread across his face as he watched Vector emerge and grab a doorstop from one of the bedroom doors to prop the closet door open and let light in. He walked over to the bed and lit Nasch’s oil lamp before he head back inside. 

"Fire hazard with all this damned dust in here," Vector said under his breath. 

Nasch didn't reply. He simply let Vector explore for a minute in silence. He placed the lamp on the floor and walked back out to retrieve the clothing he placed in the wardrobe a day or two prior. He carried armfuls and placed them on the right side of the closet.

"There are even spots for folded pants in here, Nasch. The fuck didn't you use-"

He cut himself off quickly and stormed out of the closet.

"You didn't fucking warn me," he growled. "Nearly gave me a damned heart attack!"

"Oh, by the way, Vector. I used to do taxidermy and I put my favorites in the closet so they wouldn't scare the shit out of whomever I decided to bring to my bedroom at night," Nasch replied sarcastically.

"You did those?"

Nasch nodded and stepped inside the closet to retrieve some of his favorites. He brought out an 8 point buck, the full body of a fox, a bear pelt rug, and a squirrel in bad disrepair.

"My pops taught me when I couldn't walk and was too unstable to be moved to the palace. I stuck with it after I became the Prince and sort of abandoned it after I became the Emperor. No time for hobbies and all that."

Vector carefully inspected the beautiful red fox, perched on a wooden platform and flexed as if he were walking on small stones fastened to it.

"The squirrel was my first," Nasch explained. "It's terrible and the pelt came detached around the eyes but I can't bring myself to get rid of it."

"We should have that buck mounted over the fireplace. After he's been dusted, of course."

"Iris."

"It's dead, Nasch. It's not like it's gonna move."

As if on cue, one of the glass eyes in the buck slipped out and rolled across the floor. He needed a bit of work before there was any talk of mounting him, that was for sure. Nasch picked up the eye and tossed it to Vector who held it in his hand awkwardly. He decided to place it back where it belonged even if it was slightly cock-eyed. Nasch chuckled and rolled it into the correct position.

"I haven't had the time to go in and bring any of this out. There's more in there if you wanna see it."

"Fuck yeah I wanna see," Vector replied.

Nasch stepped inside the dusty closet and blew out the oil lamp so he wouldn’t start a fire and burn the wooden shelves. That would be interesting to explain.

He handed Vector a wooden carton and carried one out himself. After a few more were cleared out, Vector began the task of spreading the various animals and pelts out along the floor of the bedroom so he could get a better look at them. Nasch decided he'd follow Vector's lead and begin moving their clothing into the closet where it was supposed to be.

"How many have you gotten yourself?" Vector asked as he worked. 

"The raccoon, two foxes, the bear, and one of the deer pelts."

"Damn," Vector said softly. "I haven't been hunting in ages."

"I can't hunt for the life of me. I never have a steady enough hand for bows. I prefer trapping."

"You got a fucking bear in a trap?"

"High set wire snare. Hence how it's head is sewn back on."

Vector pushed aside the fur around the neck of the bear and took note of the careful stitching that held it in place.

"No ducks?"

"I'm shit with a bow, Vec. Don't think I could get one if I tried," Nasch replied 

"I used to be really good at them. I'd sit on the palace steps and just shoot them."

"Seems a little morbid, don't you think?"

"They were a fucking infestation and it's not like they went to waste. I'd give them to whoever wanted or needed one. It's not like I let a bear almost behead itself with a wire snare, either."

"It wasn't meant for a bear."

"The fuck was it meant for?"

"Not a bear," Nasch laughed.

Nasch just finished hanging his jackets and vests like he planned before and began to refold his pants to place in the little cubbies built for them. He walked back out to find Vector rummaging through one of the nightstands for something before he walked into the bathroom. Nasch shrugged it off and continued his various trips to and from the closet without paying much attention to Vector.

Once he was almost finished, he found Vector retrieved a wide tooth comb from the bathroom and started to comb the dust out of the bear pelt rug.

"If it scares Iris, it's going back in the closet," Nasch said.

"I'm pretty sure she'll be fine," Vector snickered. Nasch stood in the doorway to the closet and watched him with a hand on his hip for a few moments before he turned back inside. 

"You know what I forgot to do?"

Vector hummed in response.

"Fucking dust before I put my pants in."

Vector laughed and sat back. "Can't wait for you to go to the council meeting tomorrow with dust on your pants."

When Nasch turned back around he noticed Vector had rolled up his sleeves. He took note of this for no other purpose than to satisfy his morbid curiosity and pushed it away to the back of his mind somewhere.

Nasch made a point to dust with an old, damp rag before he began moving Vector's clothes in. Before he knew it, he was finished moving their clothes in. Nasch stood back and took note that Vector ended up with more clothes than him. He smiled and mumbled something to himself about being a ‘benefactor’ before he turned back around to see Vector had made little progress on the bear pelt. Nasch knelt beside him to take a closer look. He knew what he was doing, that was for sure. He carefully and slowly combed through the fur in small strokes and collected a satisfying, yet gross clump of dust behind the comb. 

Nasch had no idea how long they sat in silence like this but he heard Iris's uneven steps come running down the hallway, most likely to show him her new specimen from her venture in the garden. He didn't turn around to catch her shocked expression but he heard her pause at the doorway and whisper “cool”. 

She placed her tattered journal up on the mantle of the fireplace in the bedroom and sat down on the floor next to the rug Vector was working on. She ran her hand through the dust-free part of the pelt and looked up at Vector who was still at work.

"Get a lot of flowers today?" Vector asked her.

"A few," Iris replied.

"Which ones?"

"Buttercups, daisies, a couple of forget-me-nots, and an orange rose," she said.

It went silent for a few moments before Vector sat back again and threw the clump of dust and fur on the wood floor next to him. "What do you think, Iris?" He asked her.

"I remember daddy had a deer over the hearth at home when I was little. I watched him skin it," she replied.

Vector looked at Nasch with a satisfied grin before he handed Iris the comb and pulled her into the rug. He showed her what he was doing and let her have at it for a while so he could let his arms rest.

"Guess I have to fix my buck then," Nasch chuckled.

"Don't put him over the hearth," Iris told him. "Do something weirder."

"Like what? I'll have you know that is a beautiful eight-point buck over there."

"With a loose eye," Vector added with a chuckle and a playful nudge to Nasch's shoulder.

"I dunno." She sat back and looked at the various animals around the room before she pointed to a mountain lion head that was a gift from someone forever ago. "That maybe?"

"Mountain lion it is," Nasch said as he stood to retrieve it. He dusted his knees and took it into the sitting room. There was already a nail over the fireplace and all he had to do was find a step ladder to position it or someone taller to do it for him.

Nasch decided now was a good time to head out of the room to see who put what on the fire for supper. He took a book with him just in case. One of Vector's, something about a daring Knight wanting to be something more. He wasn't too sure as he only read the first chapter. He sat on his sofa, kicked his shoes off, and pulled his legs up beside him. 

“Lamb,” Merag said without being asked.

“Nice,” Nasch replied. “Need any-”

“No.”

“You’re not okay,” Nasch said.

This was something the twins did. Instead of asking if the other was okay, they would simply state it. Despite rarely seeing each other anymore, they still had an unseen, odd connection that no one could explain. 

“I have a question,” Merag said after some silence.

“That is?”

“Can anyone propose a new law?”

Nasch was slightly confused by this. He placed his bookmark back in its page and set the book beside himself on the couch. “I don’t think there’s anything against it. There’s normally an order to things before they end up on my desk though. People to representatives, representatives to the council, council to me. There’s more to it but that’s the gist of it.”

“Would someone like me be able to give a proposal directly to you?”

“I don’t see why not. You hold a position of direct power. We sort of work together to form Church and State,” Nasch replied. “Two separate entities but connected in a way.”

Merag reached over and handed Nasch a few pieces of papers without making direct eye contact. Nasch leaned forward and took them from her.

“A petition to remove the celibacy from the priesthood. For good.” Merag said. “If they are supposed to operate as two separate entities, I don’t want your part interfering with mine.”

Nasch didn’t question her reasoning as he thought the policy was too outdated to exist anymore. It was instituted generations ago to keep the children of those priests from inheriting holy ground. There definitely could be better ways around this now. He only hoped his council thought the same.

“I’ll bring it up at the meeting tomorrow.”

"Thanks."

With most tension gone, Nasch and Merag fell into silence. He couldn’t help but feel there was another reason Merag wanted this gone. However, to the best of his knowledge, this was the only piece of legislation tying the two entities together. It was for the best that it went away for good. He stood to retrieve his specs from the small desk in the corner and sat back down only to be called into his bedroom by Vector a few moments later. He grabbed Merag’s proposal and his book before he walked into the room to find Vector and Iris sitting on the edge of the bed laughing about something.

Amid the laughter, Iris pointed at a squirrel Nasch had laid out years ago. “Nasch look,” she squeaked out. “His paw.”

Nasch walked over to get a better look at it only to find the middle digit on its paw was the only one that hadn’t shriveled up most likely because of the wire running through it. It looked as if it were making a rude gesture to anyone who observed it.

“I don’t think he likes being displayed,” Iris giggled.

Nasch nudged her and playfully pushed her down onto the bed. She was laughing too hard to get up so he left her there. At this point, Vector had calmed down and was able to tell a very amused Nasch the story.

“She went to move it to see if he needed to be dusted.” He paused to clear his throat. “And uh… Iris called him rude.”

Nasch shrugged with a smile. “Guess you had to be there.”

“Definitely,” Iris added as her laughter calmed down. She sat up slowly with a smile and clutched her arms around her stomach. “My sides hurt.”

“I wonder why,” Nasch said as he sat down on the bed. “I’m kicking you out, Iris. Merag could use a little cheering up.”

Iris agreed and before long, she was running off into the sitting room.

He handed Vector Merag’s proposal and let him skim through it for a few moments. “You don’t let your priests marry?” He asked, confused.

“Outdated law most people forget about. It was something that was similar across the seven Lands when they were first uniting so they kept it to make things easier to deal with. Merag wants it gone though. Perfect teaching opportunity for you if I’m gonna force you to help me while you’re here.”

“I mean it’s written in the hand of the Almighty High Priestess, that has to be something, right?”

“Absolutely,” Nasch replied.

Vector kicked his shoes off and sat on the bed. Nasch climbed fully onto the bed and threw the throw pillows up against the headboard so he could have back support as he sat. Vector moved in next closely next to him and laid his head on his shoulder as they read through the document. Nasch took the time to explain the formatting of the multi-page document as they did so and how clear and concise everything had to be.

Something Vector found particularly interesting was the section towards the end where the possible flaws were required to be listed. The section was minuscule and Nasch made some sort of joke about Merag most likely wanting to cite “there are none” as the negative effects. However, she listed genuine concerns she knew the council would have instead.

“Property rights and inheritance laws are a big one that might set this back. That’s why the law existed in the first place, right?” Vector asked.

“Unfortunately. Children were going around and stating that they owned holy buildings because they were the sole executor of the estate of their parents. Which was a mess to deal with apparently. It was one of the few things all Seven Lands had trouble with and they all had some sort of legislation like this.”

“That’s why it got carried over into the new regime,” Vector stated. He caught on quick.

They fell into silence again as they finished reading together and when they had, Nasch placed the papers and their fastening off to the side on his nightstand. He then shifted his position so he was seated cross-legged on the bed, facing Vector.

“How good are you at playing devil’s advocate?” Nasch asked him.

“Depends, why?” Vector replied.

“Tell me why this law should not be passed.”

“Are you asking me to argue with you?”

“Absolutely.”

Vector mirrored Nasch’s position so that they were face to face. “Moral or legal issues?”

“Moral first, that’s what’s going to piss me off the most,” Nasch said.

Vector took a long moment to think. He put himself in the mindset of what he thought Nasch’s most conservative council member might think. “The priests won’t be holy carrying the sins of man in their hearts. They received a calling from the gods to become the holiest of people and they should conduct themselves as such.”

“But who sets the president for what is and what isn’t holy? The gods married and had numerous children most of whom are illegitimate and born out of-”

Nasch was interrupted by Merag who had stepped inside his bedroom and closed the door behind her. “Nasch, can I kick Vector out for a few minutes?”

Vector didn’t give Nasch the time to provide an answer. He rose from the bed without a word and took the keys to Nasch’s study with him as he left and closed the bedroom door behind him. The click of the door shutting behind her seemed to cause her to break. She stood there with her back to the door of Nasch’s bedroom and cried softly in a pitiful attempt to stifle her tears.

“I’m not okay,” she cried.

Nasch stood, now thoroughly concerned and went to attend to his sister. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry for a while before he walked her over to the bed and sat her down. She laid down and curled up as Nasch placed a blanket over top of her. It has been a long time since Nasch had seen her like this.  He was prepared to kill whoever crossed her and caused her to break down at whatever cost.

“I don’t know how to say this,” she choked out.

“Then just say it,” he told her

“I’m pregnant.”

Nasch’s heart fell into his stomach. He tried to hide whatever shock rose to his face to no avail. Merag sobbed loudly and hid her face in his sheets. “I’ll try whatever I can to get this passed tomorrow.”

“They normally take months of consideration. You’re missing a council member! It’ll never get passed.”

“I’ll do what I can to expedite the process. There’s hope. I know there are a few members that agree with me on this. Your proposal needs a few amendments beforehand but I’ll fix it and get it ready,” Nasch whispered.

“What if it doesn’t pass? I’m the Priestess on Almighty High. Their connection directly to the gods, pregnant out of wedlock,” Merag argued frantically.

“We were born out of wedlock, Merag. You think people forget that?”

“That’s one of the problems!” 

Merag sat up and wiped her eyes with the wool blanket Nasch placed over her.  “Mom was born out of wedlock to a man Nan only saw once. We were born out of wedlock just like the pair of tins before us that died. I wanted to break the cycle. I thought I was being safe then I realized that I know nothing about what goes into having children. Neither did he apparently.”

“Zeus couldn’t even pull out effectively, what makes you think some man can?” This comment was an attempt to make the conversation somewhat lighter but it failed miserably. Merag started sobbing softly into her hands. Nasch sat on the bed across from her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

“I can be prosecuted for this. I can be put to death.” Merag was frantic, hyperventilating and crying. Nasch had many of these moments and knew how to deal with them when he had them but this was his sister. Someone other than him in hysterics but rightfully so.

“Okay, first off, I’m not about the death penalty, you know this. As the Emperor, I have the power to delay court decisions or deny them entirely. You kept me safe when I was hurt. Think of this as me paying you back for everything you’ve done for me.

This seemed to work well. Merag calmed down slowly.

“You’re my sister. It only makes sense that I’d do everything I can,” Nasch assured her.

“You’d only be delaying the inevitable, Nasch.”

“I don’t think of it that way. If there’s a law, there’s a legal way around it.”

“You might be right about that but morally. I’ll be outcast. Can you imagine the glares of contempt I’ll get?”

“Can you imagine the glares of contempt Vector and I got when we went out today? Look, I’m not saying I understand the situation you’re in but I’ve experienced my own sort of hell when it comes to moral obligations,” Nasch said.

“Right,” Merag chuckled. “The whole being gay thing.”

“It hurts like hell to love someone so much but have to keep it a secret. I’ve been doing that my whole life and now I know you know how it feels.”

“I’ve been doing it since our seventeenth birthday. I can’t imagine how you lasted your whole life.”

“Same guy since then?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn. My longest, serious relationship was a year and a half,” Nasch laughed.

Merag sniffled and laughed as she did so. “Damien was a year wasn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Nasch replied.

“Before him or after?” Merag asked with a smirk.

“Before. A couple of years before. The day I became the Prince actually.”

“Mind if I ask who?” Merag asked, now less distraught and more intrigued than before.

Nasch sighed and clenched his teeth. “Durbe.”

Merag’s smile quickly faded into an expression of surprise. “Oh fuck.”

Nasch kicked into panic mode. “What?”

“We’ve had the same lover,” Merag laughed.

Nasch scrunched up his nose and cringed. “That’s fucking gross.”

The two laughed for a minute about the realization before Nasch made an assumption. He could have sworn Merag said Durbe and her got together on the day they turned seventeen. This was something he needed to clarify before the two could laugh it off and push it aside.

“Something doesn’t add up,” Nasch said.

“What do you mean?” Merag asked. “I’m pregnant with his child?”

“No, not that,” Nasch began. “I spent a year and a half with him. We broke up sometime in the winter after you and I turned seventeen.”

“Durbe and I got together on our seventeenth birthday. You don’t think-”

“That fucking dog,” Nasch said. He was completely in shock.

He knew there was something about Durbe towards the end of their relationship seemed different in a bad way. All of a sudden, Durbe wouldn't spend the full night in Nash's room like he used to. By the time the Prince woke, he wouldn’t be there. This continued until Nasch mentioned it to him. It resulted in a massive fight and the beginning of the end of their relationship. Nasch never knew why and he never bothered to ask but now he knew.

He stormed out of the room, blinded by his anger and marched himself down the hallway and into Durbe’s room. He looked around to find he wasn’t there. He turned around and went across the hall to Merag’s room and threw the door open. Durbe sat on the bed and jumped to look at Nasch who was red in the face and panting.

“Caught fucking red-handed,” Nasch said. His voice was low, almost a growl.

Durbe rose from his seat on the bed and walked towards him. “I take it she told you?”

“I’m not mad about you knocking up my sister. I’m pissed that you fucking split the nights!”

“Nasch I don’t-”

“Don’t play dumb, you fucking dog!” He yelled. 

Durbe stepped back with his hands out in front of him. Nasch was fuming and Durbe knew instantly that the man in front of him had pieced things together, something he never intended to happen. 

“You must think you’re so fucking smart. Starting off the nights in my bed fucking me into the mattress and then leaving when I’m asleep only to turn around and fuck my sister! My twin sister! How fucking dare you!”

“I was a different person back then, Nasch,” Durbe said. This could have been true but Nasch was too blinded by anger to see that.

“I can only fucking hope so! If I find out you’ve started the same bullshit again I’ll chop your cock off and feed it to the gulls.”

Durbe stayed silent and took another step back. It was best to let Nasch work this out without any interference.

“What was I to you? Was our relationship a lie? Were you using me to get to her? Is this some sort of sick fetish?”

Durbe didn’t reply.

“Fucking answer me!” Nasch commanded. 

“I fell for her.”

“Fucking obviously! I want to know why you did things the way you did. Why didn’t you call things off?”

“I didn’t know what to do.”

“You are four years older than me. You were my age at the time we ended things. I’m fucking smarter than that. I don’t buy it.”

“I can’t tell you what was going through my head, Nasch! That was four years ago!”

Nasch stepped forward without thinking and swung at Durbe with a closed fist. He hit him square in the cheekbone

“Nasch enough!” Merag yelled from the doorway.

Nasch had no choice but to let himself be pulled back by her and pushed out of the room entirely.

“I’d love to let you two work things out but there is so much more at stake now,” Merag said.

“You’re fucking lucky she was here. You would have been dead otherwise,” Nasch yelled.

Nasch then turned and walked away from the Royal Rooms entirely. He descended the stairs and walked through the hall leading into the Grand Foyer. He ascended the staircase to his right and walked down the long hallway to the eastern wing of the palace.

He never came through these halls but he needed to find a quiet spot. Somewhere devoid of all activity. He opened the doors at the end of the hallway and closed them with a light kick as he walked through. He walked towards the banister of the balcony he just stepped onto He leaned his arms on the marble and laid his head in his hands. He stayed like this for a long while until he heard a loud smack of something hitting the stone behind him. He turned to look at the offending noise to find it was only a small gull that miscalculated its path of flight.

When he noticed it didn’t move at all, he began to walk towards it, fully expecting to throw its dead body over the ledge for someone in the gardens to deal with in the morning. However as he grabbed it roughly, it woke up and squawked frantically in protest. Nasch dropped it and pulled his hands away. He moved back quickly lest he be attacked by this damned bird.

It eventually calmed down and Nasch got a good look at the bird. It wasn’t the usual species of gull they had flying around the Capital. This one had brown speckles on his wings. One realization led to another and Nasch realized the gull broke his wing in the impact. It was twisted unnaturally forward. Nasch began to pity the poor thing. It must have been awfully far from home and it still had some of its downy feathers on top of its head. They stuck out awkwardly and Nasch noticed he had unintentionally entered a staring contest with a bird.

He sat down on the stone and reached out his palm, facing up towards the bird. He always had a soft spot for hurt animals and for now, it took his mind off of the events that had just unfolded.

"Are you lost, little guy?"

The bird cocked its head to the side and attempted to stretch its wings. Nasch heard a sickening crack and the bird started squawking in pain as it tried to put its wings back where they belonged. Nasch stayed still and silent and still as he waited for the bird to calm down. It must have been in a desperate spot because once it calmed down again, it hobbled towards Nasch.

"You really did some damage, didn't you?"

The bird hobbled and sat in front of Nasch, defeated as a bird could look. Nasch picked it up and much to his surprise, it didn't fight back. He surveyed it again and realized it wasn't only the ring that was broken, but it's leg as well. It could have been a bad sprain which Nasch was hoping it was. He'd hate to see the thing be put out of its misery. 

It was here he realized the bird was practically asking for his help. Nasch had never fixed a bird's wing himself but he had seen Nan do it more than a few times. He knew what he had to do but was deathly afraid of getting pecked at. He placed the bird down in front of him and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and placed it over the gull's head. He then felt the wing to find out which part had broken. When he felt it, he counted to three under his breath before he snapped it back into place.

The bird was too exhausted to react, or possibly too concussed to realize what happened. Nasch took the handkerchief and folded it so it could form a sort of bandage. He tucked the broken wing back into the place it should be and tied the makeshift bandage around it and across its body, taking the care to leave the other wing free.

He picked up the bird again and looked at him. "You flew too far, Icarus," He said. "the sun isn't even out anymore."

It was then he got an idea. A gull would be a quite unconventional animal to rehabilitate but Nasch needed something to focus some caring energy on aside from Iris. This might do him some good.

"Icarus," Nasch repeated. "What do you think of that name?"

The gull looked at him and cocked its head.

"Hopefully you didn't do any permanent damage to your head there. I'll make sure you're ready to fly again in no time."

Icarus cocked his head to the other side and Nasch pat his head with the knuckle of his forefinger. This was seemingly something the bird enjoyed as it not only leaned in but picked its head up so Nasch could scratch him underneath. Icarus then stretched his wing out as if he were happy.

"Adorable little thing, you."

Nasch sat like this with the full for a while until he heard the door handle for the glass door twist and open. He didn't take his attention off the bird though. Vector sat across from Nasch and watched with a smirk on his face.

"Let's add this to the list of things I never thought I'd see," Vector laughed 

"Meet Icarus. He hit the stone pretty hard," Nasch said. "He's actually quite tame for a gull."

"Merag told me what happened," Vector said.

Nasch put Icarus down in his lap and continued to scratch him wherever the bird pleased. "I lost my temper. I shouldn't have but I did."

"She's not mad. Not at you anyway," Vector said. "Durbe seems to be the focus of everyone's anger tonight."

"What did he do to you?"

"Yelled at me in front of Iris for sticking up for you. This, in turn, made Iris yell at him for yelling in front of her. That was a godforsaken mess."

"Glad I wasn't involved," Nasch said. "Is Iris alright?"

"Yeah. I got her. Told her you needed some time to cool down. She took supper into her bedroom and said she wanted to be left alone for a while."

"Good but not good. I'll poke my head in when we go back in."

"Good plan,” Vector replied. He looked at the gull in Nasch's lap and smiled at it. "Damn thing looks happy despite cracking its skull on the wall."

"Surprisingly content."

"Head injury?"

"Probably. Hopefully nothing permanent though," Nasch replied.

Vector sighed and reached out to pet the gull in Nasch’s lap. Much to his surprise, it didn’t bite him either. Nasch picked Icarus up and moved him between the pair so Vector could spoil the gull with scratches for a while. Nasch smiled at the sight.

“I just wanted today to be a good day,” Nasch sighed.

“Don’t let one bad thing ruin it.”

“That was a big bad thing though.”

“It’s just one thing, Nasch. I also slipped into your study and pulled the original law in question and made amendments so it matched the original proposal. I figured something serious was going on and that you wouldn’t have proper time to figure things out.”

“How?”

“I pulled the file labeled ‘foundation legislation’ and compared the proposals in there to some of the ones we went through this morning. Then I found out they looked exactly the same so I took the celibacy law out with its original proposal and fixed some of the things that made Merag’s proposal different.”

“You learn quick.”

“It’s an easy system, really. Everything is written down and filed neatly somewhere. I’m pretty sure I can find transcripts for your first council meeting if I tried.”

“I have a feeling it’ll be hard to let you go when you go back to Austrania.”

“In more ways than one,” Vector added. He stood and brushed off his trousers and extended a hand to Nasch. “Ready to go back in?”

“Absolutely,” Nasch replied. He took the hand that was offered and pulled himself up. He then bent over and picked up Icarus who had begun hobbling in the wrong direction. He held the gull close to his chest and let Vector open the door inside for him.

Nasch did as he said he would and stopped in to check on Iris who was still angry for Durbe unintentionally involving her in private matters she didn’t need to know about. This was met with numerous apologies from Nasch that she had to see any of that mess. Iris handed Vector her empty plate from supper and quickly kicked them both out of her bedroom. She paid no mind to the seagull in Nasch’s arms which he thought was odd. Then again, nothing about this little family he chose was typical.

After Nasch made a makeshift bed for the seagull out of a tattered wool blanket and a crate, he set it in the corner of the bedroom and climbed into bed next to Vector. He laid his head down on his chest and fell asleep.


	22. Pressed

**Summer:Year 3**

 

Nasch woke the next morning to Icarus, the gull, who got out of his box and somehow managed to climb the bed frame. He laid on the pillow next to Nasch and nested himself comfortably in the down filled and silk covered item. Nasch saw this and panicked slightly, fearing the gull made a mess of the sheets but he sat up and inspected them thoroughly to find nothing. He reached in his nightstand to find a rag. He lifted the gull with one hand and placed the rag under him with the other. Icarus made a noise in protest to being placed back down but settled back in quickly and tucked his head back under his wing.

Nasch turned onto his side away from Vector and began to pet Icarus softly.

"If I find the damned bird shit on the bed, I'm throwing him off the balcony," Vector said sleepily.

"He didn't. I stuck a rag under him though."

He felt Vector wrap his arms around him and pull him close.

"Is that the one you just threw back in the nightstand after a few nights ago?" Vector asked.

"There's just oil in it. Not like we've had time to go 'all the way', Vec."

"Still gross in my opinion."

Nasch rolled his eyes but settled in to Vector's hold for a little while longer until Iris decided to make an appearance. She climbed into the bed without any words and sat on the edge.

"I don't like Durbe," she said without prompting.

"Iris," Nasch protested. "He does a lot for us. You can't let what happened up here get in the way of what happens downstairs."

"I know but he hurt you."

"He shouldn't have yelled in front of you."

"At Vector."

"Yelled at Vector in front of you," Nasch corrected.

"Merag said she was gonna talk to him. I don't know though."

"It's not our business anymore, Iris," Vector added. "Let her take care of it. We need to focus on us."

"Right," she assured herself. "Focus on us."

Nasch reached over and pulled her into his arms. She, however, squirmed out of his grasp and climbed over him. She separated Nasch and Vector and settled down in between them.

"Can we skip services, Nasch?"

"I was thinking the same thing," he replied.

Nasch was more likely to forego the morning services on days where he had only a council meeting. It meant he could lay in bed till midday and prepare himself mentally for the possible frustrations ahead. This was exactly what he intended to do this morning. He rolled into his right side to face Vector and Iris. It was odd thinking that Iris was simply accepting of Nasch and Vector's relationship. For a few moments, Nasch thought about how Iris was the tie that held them together. She adored and looked up to Vector almost as much as she did Nasch. The two had their secrets and inside jokes that Nasch didn't ask about. She trusted him and that, Nasch supposed, was honorable of her. 

"Are you doing better this morning, Iris?" Vector asked.

"Little bit. I don't have my studies today. I was planning on staying up here and organizing my plants and stuff."

"Right. I forgot you brought in a few new ones. At this rate, were going to have to get some new shelves built for you," Vector replied.

"I'll show you them when I feel like moving," Iris replied with a yawn.

Nasch smiled at this. It was interesting to watch the pair interact as if Vector had been present her whole life. She leaned on him in a way he never thought she would. It gave Nasch confidence that he could trust Vector with her 

"I just don't like people yelling in front of me. I mean if it's a joke, that's okay but not about bad things," Iris said. "It makes me feel weird."

This set off a red flag in Nasch. "What kind of weird, Iris?"

"My chest gets heavy and I kind of think of my time in Donasus. But I feel like I'm there sometimes," she replied. "I dunno what it is."

Nasch knew exactly what it was even though she was vague. He felt it too. He reached his arm around her and pulled her close. "I feel it too sometimes. Like the day I got hurt just happened."

"What starts it?"

"Sometimes it's a word someone says. Sometimes it's nothing," Nasch replied. "For you it might be others yelling about bad things in front of you."

"That makes sense," Iris replied with a yawn.

The three didn't speak anymore. They simply settled down under the blankets, comfortable in the silence that fell.

Peace. Maybe this was what Nasch needed all along.

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He spent the majority of his life surrounding himself with things he thought would fill the empty space in his chest. However, now he laid here listening to the squawking of the gulls outside with Iris in his arms and his lover close by, he felt strangely complete.

"Nasch?"

"Yes, Iris."

"Am I really going to be your heir?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

"No like am I really fit to be your heir?"

"Absolutely. What makes you think you're not?"

"I just-... Nothing."

Her hesitation made Nasch curious. He lifted his head and folded an arm under it for support. "No, really. What makes you say that?"

"I heard two people talking when I took a break from my studies yesterday and I just thought that maybe I'm not really the right choice."

"Who were these people?" Nasch asked her with the full intention to have a nice, stern talk with said people.

"Council members," she answered reluctantly.

"Iris, you are more than enough. No matter what anyone else says, you are enough. You are the perfect choice. You always will be the perfect choice. I never second guessed taking you in and adopting you. I never thought once that you didn't belong here, that you weren't the perfect daughter."

"I'm not perfect."

"Neither am I, Iris. But you're perfect in my eyes. That's what matters."

She moved closer to Nasch and held onto his free arm tightly. "I'm just worried."

"Don't be. I will always support you. I'm always here for you. Don't forget that."

She settled down quickly and went still. She got comfortable where she was and eventually let go of Nasch's arm. Both Nasch and Vector were relieved when she drifted back to sleep in between them. This was something he needed to bring up at the council meeting today. This kind of behavior would not be tolerated and the council needed to know.

Nasch rolled into his back and drifted back to sleep after a while of mulling over the thought that someone had the absolute nerve to talk bad about Iris within earshot of her. How dare they.

He woke again about mid-morning to an empty bed and the smell of something cooking from the other room. He untangled himself from the sheets and sat up slowly. In the silence of his bedroom, he heard Iris laugh at something. He felt relief wash over him. At least she was alright for now. He then heard the familiar squawk of a gull and looked around the room to find Icarus absent.

He eventually stood and walked into his sitting room where he found Vector, Iris, and Merag sitting by the fire in the hearth. Icarus was settled in Vector's lap comfortably and he absentmindedly patted the bird here and there as he listened to Iris talk about her new plants.

Nasch decided to join them but sat on the sofa instead of the floor. He stayed for a while in silence and listened to them talk and politely declined breakfast when asked. It always made him nauseous anyway. Instead, he went back into his bedroom to change into his suit for the day. He walked back out, hugged Iris and kissed Vector on the cheek before he headed downstairs to his study.

He kept the peaceful moments from the morning in the back of his mind and held tightly to them as he grabbed his papers for the council meeting and head to the meeting room. He'd need those moments to keep him sane today.

He felt his steps get heavier and heavier as he got closer to the doors. He also hoped Vector did a good job with editing the proposal Merag drafted as he didn't even get the chance to look at it. He reached the doors to the meeting room and paused before he pushed them open. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and prayed silently to the gods that everything would work in his favor.

Just this once.

He pushed open the doors to find he was one of the first to drift into the room. He took his seat and spread his papers out as usual only to find a small slip of paper torn from a notebook fall out and flutter to the floor. He reached down to pick it up and as he did so he realized it was a handwritten note.

_We love you lots and know you'll do fantastic today. Everything will turn out fine._

_-Vector and Iris_

He couldn't stop the smile that rose to his lips. He folded it and tucked it away in his breast pocket as he set back to his task. The first thing he'd bring to the table was Merag's proposal. It was the most urgent and most likely the largest thing they'd need to discuss. It was here he debated on leaving out that it was written by the Almighty High Priestess herself. He feared the council would suspect something was amiss if he mentioned it.

When he picked his head up again, the rest of the council had already filed through the door and began to take their seats. Once ready, he called together the meeting, telling the men to place what they would like to discuss in front of them if it had not found its way to his desk.

As usual, Nasch went first.

"Good afternoon gentlemen. I have some interesting pieces for us to discuss today.," Nasch began.

The council members in the room nodded and glanced down at their papers, wondering which ones of theirs the Emperor would choose to bring forward and which had simply been discarded.

"I am going to start with the most interesting proposal first. This is written to nullify a current piece of legislation that had been carried over from the merger. All Seven of the lands had some sort of legislation to keep Priests from marrying as you may know. This proposal seeks to completely undo that law and allow our priests to marry as they choose."

"On what basis, my liege?" Ont of the men asked at Nasch's pause.

"On the basis that it was written to keep the children of our Priests from owning holy sites run by their parents. While it was good at the time, after some discussion with various priests of many different stations, I've come to realize it is outdated."

"Might I ask just who you spoke to?"

"Certainly," Nasch replied.

He'd have to tread carefully and think on the fly here. Who could he trust that wouldn't question his motives and would even lie for him? Merag was a given as this was her idea, but who else?

"Priest Aeneas, Priestess Agata, Priestess Cherilynn, and Priestess on Almighty High Merag."

These were people he spoke to often. He trusted them and would be sure to warn them after the meeting of possible questions directed at them for the council.

"Forgive my ignorance but might I ask who Cherilynn is?" Achilles, the council member from Heratus asked.

Nasch chuckled. "No ignorance in that statement, good sir. She commonly goes by her nickname 'Cherry'. My sister's student. It took me ages to remember her full name."

A hum in acknowledgement was heard from the man who asked. Nasch glanced over at Inara who was hard at work recording the goings on at the meeting, word for word. She worked quickly with her quill and looked up at Nasch once she had finished and nodded for him to continue. This wasn't necessary by any means and it wasn't something Damien needed being practiced at his position. However, Inara was new. She needed a little more help and Nasch was more than willing to give it to her.

"What are your thoughts, gentlemen?" Nasch asked them.

The council member from Kaltos stood. "What are we going to do to protect our holy sites from becoming private property once more? I don't mind doing away with that law Emperor, however, I can't deny a large concern."

"I'm sure something can be drafted to protect our temples and shrines. Something that passes them to the next priest instead of said priest's child," Nasch replied.

Another council member stood after the last sat down. "Emperor I am not in favor of this law. It existed in Aponia to keep the priests holy, to keep them closer to Gods by separating them from most Earthly attachments. I do believe this is why the Priests are still not paid a salary today."

"While you are correct sir, the priests are given what they need by government funds. Every year we allocate funds to each temple and site where priests reside and give them the money to do with as they see fit. Whether it be buying clothing, or beds, or food. From that stipend, they are able to provide for themselves and those that they watch over."

"It is given to them, not earned."

Nasch had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Here it was, the big opposition."I'm not asking to pay them a salary. I'm asking to give them the ability to marry."

"I am aware sir. But without a salary we would have to allocate a larger fund to provide for their families too."

"Not necessarily," Nasch added. "If their spouse is able to receive a salary, someone is providing for them. Although, a larger stipend never hurt anyone. We ended last quarter with more than we thought we would. Our economy is at the highest it's ever been and those who work in the treasury predict it will only get better from here. We have a bit more money to play around with when it comes to allocating funds. If it is needed, we give. It is our duty to protect those close to the gods, is it not?"

"I understand but children will take away their ability to focus on their duties to the gods. It will distract them from leading us on the correct path."

"If they can lead us on the correct path, they can lead their children too. By marrying, they won't abandon their duties to the gods, I assure you."

"But they might."

"But that might just be a small number. With everything good, there is a downfall, yes?"

"What about children out of wedlock? That is a sin in an of itself we can't have our priests-"

Nasch raised his hand to silence the man. "It seems you have forgotten there is someone who is born out of wedlock in the room. It is something I do not hide now and never did before. Since I was born out of wedlock, that makes my twin sister a bastard as well. In case you've forgotten, she is the holiest of the holy, closest to the gods as one can be."

The man opened his mouth to speak again but sat down instead. There was no point in offending the Emperor today. Not in a matter that involves his sister.

Nasch waited a few moments and rejoiced in the silence that fell upon the room. "Those in favor?"

Four out of the six men in the room raised their hands.

"Those opposed?"

Two men in the room raised their hands.

"Padraíg. You didn't vote?"

Paidraíg was the youngest member of the council and the one from Pelia. Although he and Nasch saw eye to eye on most things, there were a few things where they did differ.

"I'm in favor as long as something is put in place to protect our holy sites."

"I will have guidelines drafted by tonight," Nasch assured him.

"Then I am in favor."

"It's settled then. As of tonight, this piece of legislation will become null and void. Our Priests will be able to marry and have children," Nasch said.

Nasch paused to allow for Inara to catch up. He waited for her to look over at him before he continued with the meeting. He then sifted quickly through anything else that needed to be discussed. He brought up any legislation he knew would keep certain members happy by letting them know he was still thinking about it. For example, the one proposal about increasing spending for the military kept finding its way in simply to make a certain council member or two content and quiet. Nasch knew how to play the game and he played it frighteningly well. 

It had been hours since they began and he was sure the sun had set by now. Icarus crossed his mind briefly as a few of the council members argued about a piece of legislation that needed amending and he wondered if someone remembered to feed the bird. Vector wouldn't have fed him but he might have remembered that someone needed to.

"Emperor, before we adjourn I have a request."

"That would be?"

"We are becoming increasingly frightened that you have still remained single despite your time on the throne."

_'This again?'_

"I don't see an issue with it."

"Your current choice of an heir is of fragile health. She might not be alive when the time comes to pass the crown-"

Nasch put his hand up to silence him. "Speaking of my daughter she came to me this morning. She overheard a few of you, she didn't mention who, talking about how she was unfit to be my heir. I will take this time to tell all of you here that this behavior will not be tolerated whatsoever. While on the topic, Iris is still of fragile health, yes. I won't deny that. However, she has gotten stronger since she came to the palace. Her gait has improved and gotten stronger, she has gained weight and is catching on to her studies quicker than expected. She is more than fit to be my heir regardless of what was said within earshot of her."

"I am requesting a movement from the council. It has been agreed on and signed by all of us and the former Kings and Queens of the Seven Lands. You will need to take a wife within the next year."

"That sounds like a threat," Nasch interjected. He was taken aback by this sudden movement that he hadn't heard of.

"If you do not take a wife within the next year, the council along with all of the former Kings and Queens of the Seven Lands will choose a wife for you."

Nasch was then handed a few pieces of paper with stated what the council member had just said. At the bottom of the last page were the signatures of everyone seated in front of him, and those former Kings and Queens that he knew well. He took a minute to read and account for everyone mentioned. When they were all accounted for, Nasch calmly took the piece of paper and placed it in front of him.

He was hurt. He trusted some of these people that had signed with his life. He couldn't help but feel they were coerced into signing somehow. As if the piece of paper were shoved in front of them and they signed without reading. However, marriage was a traditional step in whatever he ended up doing. He was expected to take a wife and have children because that was what everyone else did when they held power.

Since this document was signed by some of the most influential people in the Seven United Lands, Nasch had no choice but to accept, lest someone have blackmail on him. He knew at least two of the people that signed definitely did.

"I accept. But know that I feel as if I have no choice in doing so," Nasch said calmly.

The council member who handed him the piece of paper sat down. There was another silence and after a few moments, Nasch knew there was nothing else.

"Meeting adjourned, gentlemen," Nasch announced.

In unison the men that sat before him rose from their seats and exited. Nasch stayed and watched them as they did so.

He waited until they all filed out of the room and it was simply him and Inara left.

He placed his head in his hands and sighed.

"If it makes you feel better, they approached Damien and myself with that paper. Durbe too, I think. We all refused. I wish there was something else I could have done for you," Inara told him.

"I'll figure a way out of this, Inara. I always do. This isn't the first time they've tried to force me to take a wife."

"But this isn't just the council this time. Its-... everyone."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be alright. 

Inara placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him before she collected her papers and walked out of the room.

 Nasch was alone at last and time seemed to slow and speed up all at once. It felt like a thick fog washed over his perception. He felt like he was watching his life from a distance. he'd felt this before. It was never a comfortable feeling.

He stayed there in the silence of the meeting room long after the others left. It wasn't until the oil lamps began to fade that he realized he should make his way to his study to quickly draft the guidelines he promised. He found himself struggling with the simplest of outlines and after five or six crumpled sheets of paper hit the wall, he decided enough was enough.

He blew out the oil lamp and head upstairs. Merag met him in the hallway on the way back to her bedroom and quite possibly, Durbe.

"It passed with little opposition. You're safe, Merag."

She hugged him and thanked him with tears in her eyes. "Something else happened. You don't seem right," she told him after she pulled away.

"Just the council meeting," he told her. "I'm exhausted after that."

There was no need to make her worry now that her and her child were safe.

"Go get some rest, okay? Iris fed the bird and I think its in her room with her. Not sure though."

"Thanks," he said as he turned to walk farther down the hallway. He stopped in Iris's room and waited for her to answer from inside after he knocked. She yelled something from inside and he entered to find her seated on her bed with Icarus and her doll Marin.

"Did you introduce them?" Nasch asked with a smile. Iris always seemed to make the worst of situations a little brighter. At least he had her.

"I did. I don't think he likes her though," she replied.

"What makes you say that?"

"He tried pecking at her buttons."

Nasch couldn't help but laugh at this as he sat on the edge of her bed. "You be nice to Marin, now," he told the bird. He cocked his head to the side in response.

"You headed to bed, Nasch?" Iris asked him.

"Yeah. I'm exhausted. Sleep well okay?"

"I will. Can Icarus stay with me? I took his crate in here when I brought him in."

"Be careful with him. His wing is still broken."

"I know. Vector told me. He showed me how to pick him up and everything."

Nasch stood and opened his arms. Iris hugged him goodnight. "I'm just down the hall if you need anything."

"You say that every night, Nasch. I know."

"I just want to remind you in case you forgot."

With that, Iris let go of him and settled down into bed. Nasch turned down the oil lamp as low as he possibly could and left the room, closing the door behind him. He took note that Vector had refilled, lit, and replaced the oil lamp for Iris in the hallway. When he reached his sitting room, he found Vector seated on the sofa reading. He sat next to him, room the book out of his hands, and wrapped his arms around him.

"How'd everything go?" Vector asked him.

"Merag's proposal passed. I have to draft guidelines tomorrow for it. I couldn't do it tonight."

"And?"

Nasch moved in closer to his partner. "My council went behind my back. They're forcing me to take a wife by this time next year."

"This isn't the first time, Nasch."

"But they got signatures of all of the former Kings and Queens of the Seven Lands."

"So?"

"Blackmail."

"Oh please," Vector said. "What kind of blackmail could they possibly have?"

All Nasch had to do was look him in the eyes and he knew.

"How bad?" Vector asked.

"I've slept with two of their sons and they know. While I don't think it would come to that, it might. One of them actually disowned their son after they found out. I'm not sure what happened to the other."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. This puts a damper on things, doesn't it?"

"Well, a little. I mean I don't care about your past choices in lovers but the fact they have that kind of material is distressing," Vector said.

"I'm surprised that you don't care to be honest."

"You forget that I was engaged before you."

"Sometimes. It's difficult to think about."

"Why?"

"What will you do if she turns up?" Nasch asked him.

Vector paused for a moment to think and Nasch began to worry he would leave him if she somehow returned.

Vector sighed. "To be honest? I don't know. I mean, I thought about just leaving and going for her. But what would I tell Iris? I'd be leaving so much behind by just turning this into a memory," he said.

Nasch wasn't sure if that was the correct answer to that question but he'd take it as if it was. He moved back in closer to Vector before he was promptly pushed off. "I kept supper warm for you," Vector told him. "Figured you wouldn't have had a chance to eat or drink anything really."

"What is it?"

"Iris wanted chicken soup so Merag showed me how to make it properly."

Vector rose from his seat to grab a bowl and ladle Nasch some of the aforementioned soup. He handed the bowl back with a smile. 

"You're finally getting the hang of this cooking thing, aren't you?" Nasch asked with a smile as he took a spoonful.

"I hope so."

Vector sat back down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He kissed the top of his head. "Everything will turn out fine, Nasch. Whatever happens, know I will always support you."

Vector's words filled his chest with warmth. Everything was alright.

After all, a day with a good beginning and a good ending was definitely not outweighed the bad in between. 


	23. Afraid

**Summer: Year 3**

 

Somewhere around the time Nasch changed into his nightshirt and climbed into bed, a fierce thunderstorm rolled in from the sea. The flashes of lightning and the crashes of thunder filled the air. However, Nasch and Vector were safe within the walls of their bedroom and in each others’ arms. They talked about nonsense and of this and that before their conversation drifted off as Vector began to fall asleep. Nasch settled down, comfortable with the moment and content with the way the last few hours had gone despite the obvious. He curled up closer to Vector and closed his eyes. He opened them again for one last glimpse of the man next to him. Seeing him here, laying on his back on the edge of sleep made it so much more painful. It hurt that he couldn’t have him for very much longer. 

“Vec?” Nasch whispered.

He hummed in response. Sleep was just about to take over him.

“Do you think we can actually make this work long-term?”

Vector rolled onto his side and put an arm around Nasch. “Dunno,” he replied sleepily. “I’m willing to try. Like your-... Hades and Persephone, right?”

Nasch smiled at Vector's comment. It was comforting to know that Vector actually listened to Nasch ramble on about the stories of his faith. He even showed curiosity in it. Nasch pretended to not notice that his personal copy of scripture had found its way into Vector's nightstand along with a few other religious texts.

He smiled as Vector leaned down, kissed his forehead and pulled him closer to his chest.

"I just worry about what will happen when you get word your father is dying," Nasch said.

"For all I know, he could already be dead."

"That still means you'll have to leave, Vec."

Vector fell silent for a few moments and pulled Nasch closer so his head was rested on his arm.

"Look," Vector began. "I've been thinking a lot about what should happen versus what I want to happen. And honestly, I don't want to go back."

"You have to."

"I don't have to do anything. I just want something that's good for me for once. I have you and Iris. An awkward little family that I found myself a part of. Here, I'm not on the front lines for once. I get to live safely and securely in your shadow. And you know what? I find that idea more appealing that whatever godforsaken mess waits for me back in Austrania."

"What are you saying?"

"If you'll have me, I'd like to make my stay more… permanent."

"As much as Iris and I would love to keep you, you're an only child. I'm not sure about lineage and all over there-"

"I have a cousin I am prepared to leave everything to. She already knows that she is the one to pick everything up if I were to drop dead. Palla. Shes seventeen now and god, I hope she's alright since I left."

"Do you think your father put her on danger too?"

"Not mine. Her own. You see Austranians, especially royalty, have an awful reputation for toxic masculinity. Women can't do this and that because they're women. By putting Palla in the throne in my place and helping her rebuild from afar, I could change that."

Nasch took a few moments to take in Vector's words. He thought for a brief moment about how wonderful it would be to keep Vector permanently, to have someone to hold him when the days were rough like this one, to give Iris another father figure in her life. She adored him and trusted him so much already so it would be an easy adjustment.

For a brief second, a thought crossed Nasch's mind. By actually marrying him, both of them would have an easy out of their troubling situations. Their marriage wouldn't be illegal, just massively immoral. They come break stereotypes and change people's minds. However, Nasch knew there would be massive repercussions if he were to actually seek to marry this man. 

He pushed that thought aside quickly. He wasn't the type to get married. Then again, he was never the type to be a father either.

Nasch pulled away from Vector slightly and propped his head up with his arm. "So you're saying that you love it here with me and Iris so much that you'd like to stay. You're willing to abandon almost everything that you knew for a brand new life."

"Not just brand new but stable. And I'm not abandoning my culture. I don't think I could ever do that."

Nasch leaned down and kissed him. "As much as I'd love to see you stay, know that I won't force you to do anything. It's your choice in the end. If you should change your mind, I'll let you go."

Vector pulled him in for another kiss and for the first time in a long time Nasch felt overwhelmed with an emotion that he was certainly not accustomed to. His heart fluttered uncontrollably and his hands started to tremble. After a few moments, he pulled away and laid his head down on his lover's chest.

Nasch relaxed and felt the mattress shift as he did so. He focused on the sound of the rain hitting his bedroom windows and the thunder crashing outside. Thunder was always more relaxing than it should have been for him. However, it was slightly odd that Iris hadn’t tried to climb in yet. She was terrified of thunderstorms as any young child would be. She normally climbed in bed with him just as they started. Nasch shrugged it off and assumed that she was simply in a deep sleep.

He focused on the sound of Vector's beating heart. It pounded loudly in his chest and created a comfortable found to focus on as he fell asleep to he would of his lover's heartbeat and the rain hitting against the window of their bedroom. 

He would love for Vector to stay more than anything. He would adore falling asleep next to this man for the rest of his life. Nasch found himself dancing on the edge of sleep and allowed himself to fall into it.

There was a large crash of thunder and a rather bright streak of lightning but also a hint of something else.

A scream.

Nasch sat upright quickly and so did Vector. He listened carefully to see if he could hear it again or if it was just his exhausted mind playing tricks on him.

  
"Nasch! Help me!"   
  
Iris.   
  
Panic and adrenaline coursed through his veins. He wasn’t sure which would take over first but for now, he went with whatever his instinct told him. He pulled a pair of riding leggings on and ran out of his bedroom and into the hallway. The lamp Vector put for Iris in the hallway had gone out and he could barely see a thing. He caught a glimpse of two large figures dragging something behind them from the far end of the hallway. Without taking the time to think, he ran at them. These shapes didn't fit any familiar facade of those that lived in the Royal Rooms. They were Intruders and by the sound of things, they had Iris.

“Nasch please!” Iris sobbed. “Help me.”

Two large men were dragging Iris by the arms. She kicked and screamed and tried her best to break free but simply couldn’t. She was just too small.  
  
Without thinking, he charged at them, prying at their hands to free the little girl and inserting himself in between them and her. He held her in his arms and began to run bach to his rooms when one of them grabbed him by his hair and pulled him back. He held tighter onto her. One man held Nasch by his ribcage and the other pried his arms from around his daughter. Once that man was successful in tearing Iris from his arms, he threw iris over his shoulder and began to run down the remainder of the hallway. The other man stayed behind to presumably prevent further interference. 

“Let her go!” Nasch screamed.

The man didn’t reply. He made a noise that was somewhere in between a growl and a scream. It was visceral and sent shivers down Nasch’s spine. It was inhuman and disgusting and Nasch wasn’t sure if he was fighting a human or some sort of demon. Nasch didn’t hesitate though. He charged to get past the man and ran for the one who had Iris slung over his shoulder as if she were a toy. She screamed and reached out for Nasch and he just barely missed her hand.

"Durbe!" Nasch screamed.  
  
"Right behind you."

Nasch didn’t bother to look behind him, his voice was enough confirmation to know that he was there. Nasch charged again, this time he grabbed a hold of the man’s shirt. He didn’t hesitate to pull with all his might. He heard the seam of the shirt begin to split and he prayed that it wouldn’t rip as he held on for dear life. If he got Iris out of this alive, it would be an outright miracle. He'd trade his place for hers any day and this might have been the opportunity.

"I'm here, Iris. Keep fighting," he yelled to her.

She didn't reply but the way the man growled again let Nasch assume that she did something to try and get herself free. 

The man slowed down to a halt and hit Nasch across the chest with his forearm violently. This sent him at a rapid pace into the plaster on the wall like a ragdoll. Nasch hit the back of his head so hard that he saw stars. His legs gave out and he fell but he forced himself to stand again by pulling on the decorative curtain and pulling the rod out of the wall as he did so. His head pounded and his vision blurred in and out. The world spun far too quickly and just as he was about to collapse, he was shoved out of the way by someone running full force down the hallway.  
  
Nasch fell down in a pitiful slump. He heard a sickening crack and the splatter of something hitting the wall and the marble floor. Iris screamed in terror one more time and despite Nasch's best efforts to stay alert, he blacked out.   
  
Vector stood panting as the man slumped over, falling on top of Iris's hips and trapping her with his weight. She screamed and cried as she wriggled to free herself. Merag ran for her. She took her in her arms and ran swiftly with the girl into her own room. She slammed the door behind her but Iris's cries still echoed down the hallway.   
  
"Holy fuck."   
  
Vector dropped the brass curtain rod he picked up off of the floor. Its decorative ball on the end was dented and and covered in blood.

No one toyed with the things he loved and got out alive. 

Not while he could prevent it.  
  
He turned around to see Durbe standing behind him in shock. His sword was sticking out of the other man's forehead. Blood and bits of brain matter pooled below his bare feet and he stepped back as to not track the mess everywhere in the Royal Halls.

"Holy fuck, Vector," Durbe whispered in shock.  
  
It was then the weight of what Vector had done fully sunk in.

He just killed a man, violently so.

The curtain rod had broken the man's skull open and splattered some of the contents of his head all over the wall and floor. Vector glanced at the vermin he had just dispatched and kicked his leg which twitched at the offending pressure.  He was still panting. His heart was still pounding.  
  
No one toyed with the things he loved.   
  
"We need to move Nasch," Vector said urgently.   
  
Durbe nodded and glanced at the blood on his hands. "Is he even alive? I saw him hit the wall."   
  
Vector turned and knelt to get a good look at the Emperor lying in a heap on the floor. He took note that his chest was still rising and falling normally. He placed two fingers around the area where jaw met neck and made sure his heart was still beating.Vector glanced down at himself after noting a spot on his white nightshirt. 

He was covered in the mess he'd made.

He didn't have time to panic. Iris was still frantic, Nasch was unconscious and someone still had to figure out what the hell went on to let all of this happen.

Where were the guards at the bottom of the stairs?

Why did they abandon their position or let guards up?

“He’s alive," Vector told Durbe. "Just hit his head a little too hard. Which one of us gets to move him though? We’re both covered in this shit.”  

"We can always clean Nasch up before we get Merag to look at him," Durbe said. "Can you carry him? I have to figure out how the fuck someone let this happen before it happens again."  
  
Vector nodded and knelt down to pick him up bridal style to carry him down the hallway and into his rooms. He struggled for a few moments as this was one time he carried Nasch where he didn’t have him clinging to his neck for dear life. He stood in the doorway of Nasch’s rooms and debated placing him on the sofa but he’d hate to leave stains on such an expensive thing. He decided to forego placing him on the bed for the same reason.

It was here, Nasch started to stir. He immediately grabbed his head in pain before Vector could set him down. He sighed. This was more of a relief than he thought it would be.

"Everything turned out alright, Nasch," he whispered. "Iris is safe."

Vector walked into the bathroom and decided his best bet was to place him on the marble floor in there.

"My head… Fucking hurts," Nasch said but something was off about his speech. It sounded slurred, like his tongue was too heavy to move.

Vector lit two candles quickly and placed them next to Nasch. He knelt next to him and pulled him close. He was okay for now. He would definitely have some issues with his head for a while but he was alright. He held Nasch tightly before he was pushed away.

“I barely remember a thing," Nasch said.

He started to panic. His breath was unsteady and his whole body started to tremble.

"Iris," he said, breathlessly. "Where's-"

"With your sister. She's safe. I'm going to change before I get Merag to take a look at you. I'll grab you a new shirt too. I'll be with Iris for a bit just to make sure she's okay."

Vector tried to lean in close to hold Nasch again but he wrigled away.

"I just-... Don't like being touched," Nasch choked out.

Vector couldn't begrudge him that.

He decided enough was enough and he smiled at Nasch before he walked out of the room to change. The thunderstorm still raged on outside with no sign that it would give way any time soon. Vector caught a glimpse of himself in the floor length mirror. God, he was a mess. His hair was tousled and clumped together in places with sweat. The blouse he threw on was spattered with blood all over his left side.

Damn, he really hit that man hard.  
  
The more he thought about it, the more angry and frustrated he grew. Someone almost took Iris away from him and didn't hesitate to harm Nasch in the process. He clenched his fists and dug his nails into his palms with almost enough force to break skin.

He snapped himself out of his rage. Iris needed him. He changed quickly and tidied himself up with some cool water. He combed his hair back while he was at it to make sure there was no blood in it. It was a morbidly pleasant surprise when he realized there wasn't any trace of it. It broke his heart slightly to leave Nasch alone for a bit while he switched places with Merag. Especially while the man was in a panic. He walked back into the closet and retrieved his mother's shawl which he tucked away for the season and walked back into the bathroom to find Nasch attempting to calm himself down.

"Take your shirt off, Nasch. I don't want you getting that mess everywhere," Vector told him calmly.

He knelt down at Nasch's side again and waited until the article of clothing was discarded and haphazardly thrown across the room somewhere before he wrapped the shawl around Nasch's shoulders tightly. 

“Is this blood in my hair?” Nasch asked.

“Most likely. You hit your head hard, Nasch. I wouldn't be surprised if you left a hole in the plaster.” 

Nasch managed to snicker. “Leather chord. On the counter-... to the right? I think. Can you hand me one?”

Vector followed his instructions and remarkably found one. He handed it to Nasch who tied his matted hair up in a bun. He’d have to wash it sooner rather than later. Vector then set about gathering a large bowl, a pitcher, and a rag so Nasch could wash the blood off his face and hands.

"I'm going for Iris now, Nasch. Merag will be here in a little bit for you," Vector told him.

"Okay," Nasch agreed. He swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath.

Vector leaned in and kissed his forehead, completely forgetting about Nasch's request to not be touched at the moment. He remarkably wasn't pushed away.

Vector stood and walked out of the bathroom, through the bedroom and sitting room and into the hallway. It was not bustling with guard and maid activity attempting to do an investigation to name the men and clean up their remains. Vector looked down the hallway at the swarm of guards surrounding the man he dispatched with the curtain rod. He did more damage than he thought. The decorative emblem imprinted on the one of the balls on the end must have caught in the man's scalp and tore his flesh. He remembered swinging twice at him which explained the extensive damage done and the massive chunk of skull that had shattered and gone missing inside the man's head. He nearly gagged at the sight but swallowed it down. Iris needed him.

He stood at the doorway to Merag’s room and hesitated. He double checked himself to make sure the blood that was spattered on him had been washed away. He knocked lightly before he checked the doorknob to find it unlocked. He let himself in and found Merag washing Iris's hair by the lit fire. The little girl was wrapped in a plush robe and clutched her doll for dear life.

“It's just me," Vector said softly. "No need to worry."

Merag rinsed her hands in a bowl of water and walked towards Vector. "She's not okay. She saw everything. See if you can talk to her. I can't get her to say anything, really."

"I'll try my best. Go check on Nasch. He's on the bathroom floor. I've got her."

Merag nodded and swiftly left the room without another word.

Vector walked slowly towards Iris and knelt behind her. "I'm sorry that all this happened, sweetheart."

She didn't reply.

"Nasch is awake. Merag is checking on him and then he'll want to see you to make sure you're alright."

She nodded.

Vector figured he'd pick up where Merag left off. He finished lathering her hair and leaned her back over the bowl to rinse it thoroughly. When he was finished, he took most of the moisture out of it with a dry towel Merag left next to her and wrapped it around her shoulders. He stood and grabbed a comb from Merag's vanity along with a leather cord so he could braid her hair back.

He combed it carefully back and made sure all of the tangles were out. He then started at the top of her head and began to plait it tightly and carefully. He took his time with this and when he was finished, he tied the cord with a bow at the bottom. He said a silent prayer to his gods and to Katia wherever she may be that she taught him how to braid. He moved the bowl out of the way and reached for a nightgown Merag must have gotten for her.

He handed it to her and turned away as she undid the robe to put it on to give her some semblance of privacy. He knew she was situated when she climbed into his lap and held onto him tightly. She stared at the fire seemingly in a trance.

"How are you feeling, Iris?"

"Overwhelmed," she replied. "Scared."

"They're gone. You won't be hurt like that again. Everything turned out fine in the end."

She fell silent again and leaned into Vector. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and he found himself watching the fire too.

A crack of thunder boomed outside and Iris jumped in his arms.

"It's okay. It's just a storm," Vector reassured her.

"It reminds me of the night I got hurt," she replied.

It was then everything made sense. She associated thunderstorms with the night she was hurt and her mother was killed. Now to throw this incident into the mix, he couldn't imagine the pain she felt.

"There was thunder then?"

"Lots. I couldn't see the lightning or hear the rain because I was in someone's basement."

He'd hate to stay on this topic but if she wanted or needed to talk about this now, he'd let her go.

"That sounds awful, sweetheart."

"I feel like I'm back there. I'm scared. I don't wanna feel that way again."

"It'll hurt for a long time," he said. "Nasch still has his moments but he's learned to make peace with them. You will too with time."

"It feels like forever."

"I know. I know."

They fell into silence once more as Iris adjusted her position slightly and clutched her doll close to her chest again.

"I'm just scared," Iris repeated 

Petrified might have been a better word. She was soft spoken and way too quiet. Vector remembered back to Beltaine when he took her out of the house through Nan’s window. Even after he calmed her crying, she still talked to him. Speechlessness was seemingly unheard of for Iris. Vector would be lying if he said this didn't worry him quite a bit.

"I know," he replied. "I am too."

The door opened behind them and Merag stepped in. "Take her in. He's going to have quite a bit of trouble for a while but he'll be alright."

Vector rose with her in his arms and pressed her head close to his chest. He didn't bother asking if the bodies had been moved but he simply covered her eyes with his hand and walked as fast as he could into Nasch's sitting room. He closed the doors behind him and locked them just in case. He saw a fire had been lit in the hearth and Nasch was laid down on the sofa. He placed Iris in his arms and she wordlessly curled up in his arms. He then took the small spot of the sofa what wasn't occupied by Nasch and sat himself down.

Iris closed her eyes as she laid her head down against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It took awhile for her to completely fall asleep in his arms. This was something both Nasch and Vector were grateful for. 

“So,” Vector chuckled softly. “How long do you have to live?”

“Indefinitely unless the nausea takes me out first,” Nasch replied. He shifted Iris slightly so he could lay down a bit more.

“Did you wash your hair?”

“Yeah. Merag had to help me though. I was out of it for a while there. I don’t remember you placing your mother's shawl around me but you did. At least I hope you did."

"Merag said you're going to have some trouble with your head for a while. Which is understandable. You hit the wall pretty hard."

“Tell me what happened later.”

“Yeah.”

Silence fell on the room. The only sounds that remained were the rain, thunder, and the crackling of the fire. Nasch moved down slightly more so he could lay down fully on the sofa. Iris didn’t budge.

“Wait. I remember hearing something crack and then a splatter, the fuck was that?”

“The contents of someone’s skull repainting your walls… and you,” Vector said frankly. He was too tired to beat around the bush at this point.

Nasch gagged and covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Vector had to keep himself from laughing at Nasch’s expense but then he realized he’d most likely throw Iris on him if he needed to be sick. 

“Sorry,” Vector whispered. “I’m exhausted.”

Someone from the hallway tried the doorknob and Vector rose to answer it. There was no point in being overly-cautious at this point. The Royal Halls were swarming with Guards. Vector opened the doors and Durbe stepped in.

“Nasch,” he said far too loud. “We need to move you and Iris. Now.”

“To where?” Nasch asked. "Lower your voice."

“Anywhere but here. I’m taking suggestions,” Durbe said. He was urgent, ready to move Nasch and Iris as far away form the palace as possible. “People are suggesting the maze-”

“No,” Nasch interjected. “Damn thing’s too loud. Everyone will know. We’ll have mass hysteria on our hands.”

“The gap?”

“My father.”

“Eastport?”

“Isn’t that too far? It’ll take at least a week to get there. Plus Kellem isn’t here with the Imperial.”

“Right. Kerin?”

“Two weeks travel. It’s in the middle of nowhere.”

“How about your hunting cabin?” Vector added.

“Shit. I always forget about that,” Nasch replied.

“That might work," Durbe said. "Its not insanely far away. It's remote and private with no other cabins or houses in the area for miles at least."

After some silent contemplation Durbe walked over to the desk and carried over a chair. He sat it down by the sofa and placed the papers he was holding on the floor next to him. “Nasch, you’re not gonna like this,” he said.

“Oh God."

“The two men that tried to take Iris were highly decorated members of the Royal Guard.”

Nasch’s face went pale and Vector prepared himself to have a sleeping little girl thrown at him. Nasch sat up slowly to minimize the pounding in his head and he looked Durbe in the eyes. Vector reached out for Iris and took her into his arms again. She barely stirred. She must have been exhausted and rightfully so.

“You mean the vermin that tried to take my little girl were members of the guard?” Nasch was furious. Vector saw the fire in his eyes He hushed Iris as she began to stir at the volume of Nasch's voice.

“Who?” Nasch asked.

“Trevor and Nathaniel. They were stationed at the bottom of the stairs for the evening,” Durbe replied. He leaned down, elbows rested on his thighs and hands folded in front of him. 

Nasch took a moment to sort through clouded thoughts. He took his eyes off of Durbe and looked somewhere across the room as he did so. Vector watched as Nasch's eyes went side with panic 

“Fuck,” Nasch whispered. He shifted so that he sat properly on the sofa. He ran his fingers through his hair. Vector looked at him sort through clouded thoughts. "How could this have-... Oh fuck."

“What?" Durbe asked.

“Months ago we snuck out to Scratch’s. It was one of the last times we did. The time I went through the front door.”

Nasch had a positively terrifying realization. The only other place guards at the bottom of the stairs could be stationed were at the main entrance. Only the most trusted and strongest were placed there. They were the last line of defense between a possible intruder and the Emperor.

“I thought you were kidding.”

“No. I actually walked through the front door. The Guards weren’t there, Durbe. They weren’t there and I fucking forgot to say something.”

“Do you remember who they were?”

“They weren’t fucking there. How could I remember? I had to have been them.”

“Calm down. You’re going to make your head worse.”  
  
“Iris was almost taken because of me,” Nasch whispered one final time.

Durbe could tell that Nasch was close to panic so he changed the subject. “So the hunting cabin is where we're sending you but I have no idea who to send with you. I don’t trust any members of the guard. I don’t know how many were in on this. I have to stay here to fix this mess and Merag isn’t trained in combat. ”

“Send Vector with us,” Nasch said. "You’ve seen him fight and so have I. There’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to be acting First Knight for the time being."

Durbe had no choice but to agree. Vector had proven that he was nothing like his father in the months he had been in the palace. The only thing linking him to his heritage was his ability to fight and that was brutal and unforgiving if he judged by the mess in the hallway.

Durbe sighed and shifted slightly in his seat. “Alright,” he said. “ Pack your things. We need you out as soon as possible to avoid any further incidents if any.”

Durbe stood and put the chair back where it was. He left without another word and closed the door quietly behind him.

“Fuck,” Nasch swore under his breath. “This whole time I forgot about that.”

“Now is not the time to beat yourself up over this, Nasch. You’re alright packing your things? I’ll get Iris and mine together.”

Vector shifted Iris off of himself and laid her down on the couch softly. He helped Nasch up and watched carefully as he walked into the bedroom. Nasch suddenly was thrown off balance and had to steady himself on the doorway. Vector ran do him and took his arm. He walked him to the bed and made him lay down for a while.

“I’ll take care of it,” he told him. "Go lay down."

Nasch obeyed without protest. He was clearly in a lot of pain. He walked slowly back over to the sofa. He picked Iris up again and laid her on top of his chest.

Vector pulled three suitcases out of the back of the closet and placed their casual clothing inside along with two suits for travel just in case their location be compromised. He took another suitcase into Iris's room to pack her things and as soon as he walked in he noticed the room was a wreck. Some of her potted plants had been knocked over and broken. Her sheets were across the room and there were things positively everywhere. It was good to know she put up a fight but he cursed at himself for not hearing any of this before it was almost too late.

There wasn't any time to linger though. He packed dresses for Iris along with a few nightgowns and a couple changes of shoes. He closed and latched the suitcase and walked out. Also making a note that Icarus, the gull, wasn't there. Despite his hatred of birds, he still hoped he was alright for Iris's sake.

As soon as he walked back into the sitting room, he found Durbe had walked back in and was ready to send the three of them on their way. Durbe escorted them personally through the palace and out into the rain where a large carriage waited for them. The three bid goodbye to Durbe and thanked him for saving them. As soon as they and their suitcases were situated inside, they set off on their trip. Nasch watched through the rear window of the carriage as the palace disappeared into the distance as they rode over the bridge and into the Capital City.

Something about his expression broke Vector's heart but he couldn't tell exactly what it was.

At least everything was over and the storm began to let up. They were safe.


End file.
